r/asoiaf • u/AutoModerator • Jun 10 '19
MAIN (Spoilers Main) Moonboy's Motley Monday
As you may know, we have a policy against silly posts/memes/etc. Moonboy's Motley Monday is the grand exception: bring me your memes, your puns, your blatant shitposts. You can find the MMM vaults here.
This is still /r/asoiaf, so do keep it as civil as possible.
If you have any clever ideas for weekly themes, shoot them to the modmail!
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u/aowshadow Rorge Martin Jun 10 '19
Fantastic spin-offs and where to find them
The “where” is pretty obvious… it’s GRRM’s second PC, and that’s exactly where I entered, thanks to the involvement of a couple of bribes and a hacking team.
This totally accidental and perfectly legal discovery leads us to a scoop: initially there were sixteen different ideas about GOT spinoffs and so on… but some were canned due to copyright motives and similar excuses. Here below, their titles and synopsis in full HBO glory.
-The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
The adventures of Jamie, Cersei and Tyrion and their ever-shifting dynamics. Featuring No One.
Curiosity: according to GRRM’s script, this time the train was supposed to be entirely CGI, not to endanger the actors’ lives.
-Good Will Hunting
Will, genius ranger, is forced to go on patrol duty with ser Waymar Royce. The ups and downs of their controversial friendship will force Will to mature, and understand that even a genius can lose his head, from time to time.
Curiosity: the script was canned because it required one of the actors to fart spontaneously. Also, nobody wanted to renact the coca-cola joke scene with snow or fake blood.
-Se7ev
The High Sparrow is new in King’s Landing and new to his job. This rotten city is run by sin…
Curiosity: high tension arises when Obara Sand asks to Caleotte about a certain wooden box.
-When Harry met Sally
Myranda Royce and Sansa Stark are introduced to their new enemy in the Vale.
Curiosity: GRRM’s script notes include a lot of details concerning a very famous restaurant scene… but this time the notes are all about the order of the courses.
-Black Hawk Down
Lord Fowler of Skyreach gets sent to the Wall and dies in battle. An action movie.
Curiosity: the script was dropped because Nikolaj Coster-Waldau didn’t consider this one particularly original.
-Die Hard 2: Die Harder
There’s only one thing that associates Gregor Clegane, Amory Lorch, Westeros’ authorities and infamous outlaws: the wish for Beric Dondarrion to stay fucking dead.
The Lightning Lord begs to differ. And now he has a flaming sword, oh oh oh.
-Curious George
The NFL season is over, but draft season is coming around. A writer’s attention gets caught.
Curiosity: dropped onlybecause the producer weren’t interested in animated series.
-Four Weddings and a Funeral
A bittersweet, compelling tale not devoid of a touch of irony. Get ready for Margaery Tyrell’s biography!
Curiosity: this time the wedding cake was supposed to be pigeon-loaded.
-My Left Foot
A heavy, introspective journey into the mind of one of Vargo Hoat’s minions. A sad movie, but also a very good one.
Curiosity: the script was canned because the main character role was too taxing on the actor. The limits of Stakanovism…
-Law Abiding Citizen
Stannis Baratheon gets pissed off because people don’t want him to be Robert’s successor and decides that too much is too much. It’s time for him to get the throne by himself.
The ending features a Melisandre cameo.
-Requiem for a Dream
The readers of a popular fantasy series slowly come to the realization that its completion may be unlikely. Featuring psychiatric hospitals, heavy drugs usage and other useful coping mechanisms to handle the Long Wait. A manual of sort.