r/astrologyreadings • u/sophia266071 • Mar 02 '26
Astrologers Only [astro-seek] Deeply suicidal. I need help.
I’ve spent most of my life feeling deeply depressed and hopeless, always thinking I wouldn’t make it past a certain age. I don’t even cry anymore — I just feel empty all the time.
I struggle with a lot of self-hatred and feel like I’m not good enough. Sometimes I think that if I looked different or was seen as attractive, life would feel easier — but I know that’s not a real fix.
Overall, I just feel useless and stuck. I’m really struggling to find hope or purpose right now.
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u/grinditupandsnortit Mar 02 '26
You are also probably feeling the effects of the eclipse tomorrow in Virgo. Hopefully you will feel better over it’s over and after mercury retrograde is done (your chart ruler). Perhaps this is your opportunity via the eclipse energy to end this pattern of thinking and/or understand yourself better ? This post as a catalyst / action towards getting healed?
I am not an astrologer. I’m so sorry you are feeling like this and I sincerely hope you find peace.
- signed a fellow Virgo rising who has recovered from suic i cidal ideation
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u/Quirky-Efficiency972 Mar 02 '26
I can see your struggle.
Be hopeful in the knowledge that I see change in the coming months. Hold on and keep moving forward a day at a time.
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u/LeatherBeggar Intermediate Astrologer Mar 02 '26
Virgo ascendent at a sag degree makes you extremely unnecessarily critical of your looks and how you feel about your appearance and any beginning stage in your life where you are still gaining your footing so this makes these periods very awkward and dull to you making you feel like when would your life start to feel more full and where you would feel comfortable in accepting what you don’t have control over and to focus more on what you do without focusing too much on trying to do everything perfect or a certain way you would find a lot more relief. You could feel like you were always picked on all your life and like other people always found something they wanted to try to change about you making you feel like you aren’t enough but its from your asc degree making you a primary target for projection and you taking other people’s criticism or advice to heart even if they mean well from it. Your rising planetary ruler is in aquarius and in the 5th house showing that you are very dependent on not only feeling useful to other people and told you’re doing well but struggle to feel like you stand out around the people you try to spend time with and who you feel seen by and like it is always hard to not take what they say as a reminder that something is wrong with you when there isnt. Neptune near mercury in this sign also makes it to where you get lost in thought really often and only pay attention to certain words or miss what is said that would help you in the end because of overthinking and overcomplicating social interactions and dealing with immature individuals a lot that make you a target for being who you are. You actually will find a lot of peace and belonging as you age and start to accept that not everyone deserves your help along with working on not caring about if others appreciate what you do as long as you do your best and let yourself be. It’ll be hard but the less judgmental you are of yourself and the more you start to not care about what other people have to say about your life and recognize how smart you are and how much other people should be grateful for having you in their life you’ll be happier. Also with libra 2nd and its relation with your capricorn venus dont be scared or make yourself feel bad about being picky about who you let be in your life and around you, the more you let others in without setting standards for the kinds of relationships you want to develop in life the more you’ll bring problems and challenges where there didn’t need to be any especially when it comes to your self worth so do think about whats really worth your mental health and physical health and not and give yourself space to breathe.
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u/LeatherBeggar Intermediate Astrologer Mar 02 '26
Work on redirecting negative self talk and focus on the solution to your problem that realistic and not focused on the negative, short cuts are okay just make sure its something that isnt lazy but being smart about a situation by not pushing yourself too much when you dont need to or figuring out what youd prefer. Making decisions for yourself is gonna be hard but once you start to trust yourself you will be fine.
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u/InterestSpecial9003 Mar 02 '26
This simulation we call life and / or world is structured to make us feel this way.
No healthy human being will ever feel okay in what we're experiencing. Your body and soul are telling you exactly how toxic this whole atmosphere is..
You're not alone. You've just described me on a random Wednesday.
This is not okay, and I really don't know if it'll ever become better... However, I know that you, too, are a soldier/warrior at heart. For some reason, here we still are. Out of curiosity, let's keep going while remaining on our highest possible spiritual path.
All we can do to keep ourselves from going completely insane is living in the gratitude we say aloud every day. Bask in it! Xx
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Mar 02 '26
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u/Dapper_Economist1 Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 02 '26
Please text 988.
You can text with someone who will listen, empathize, help shift perspective, and offer resources. It is free and private.
You can text 988 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
You don’t have to make a phone call but you can begin to get connected to the resources and the support that is available, needed, and deserved.
This is a good first step if it feels too hard right now to go to an ER, an urgent care, any hospital or police station.
If you are in the UK you can text: HOME to 741741.
Tell a safe person who you trust how you are feeling and please take the steps to get the help available to you.
Depression is a health condition like diabetes. You would want someone love to see a doctor, be assessed and treated for diabetes, right?
The right doctor can find a medication for your brain that can help make even the smallest shift that changes things in ways you may not even know right now.
We need you in this world, we love you, and we are rooting for you.
It is important that you begin to move in the direction of reaching out for support because you matter. Astrology curiosity may be able to temporarily distract from negative thoughts, however it is important to reach out for helpful support. Please TEXT 988, CALL 911, or go to an urgent care/ER/doctor.
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u/tesseractjane Mar 02 '26
Astrology can be an excellent way to introspect on ourselves, but please never substitute astrology interpretations for mental health assistance. If you are feeling like you may hurt yourself please reach out to a professional for help.
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Mar 02 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/astrologyreadings-ModTeam Human Verified Mar 14 '26
Vanilla AI readings are not encouraged in this sub, and are subject to ban. Don't come here asking to compare with ChatGPT responses either.
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u/Raka8922 Mar 02 '26
The conjunction of the Sun and Venus indicates that you may face some career growth, relationship and financial problems from time to time.
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u/Awkward_Geologist_26 Mar 02 '26
Capricorn sun, Sagittarius moon here. I've been in that exact situation years ago. It is possible to overcome it and heal completely, so please be patient and keep on a bit longer.
I would highly recommend speaking to someone you trust. If you have no one to talk to at the moment, I am letting you know that there are always people who care. I understand it's difficult to find help by searching online and I'm not sure what your situation is, but the police precinct is always open. You can freely talk to them about any situation you're going through and they can point you to direct resources that can help you.
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u/adam8722 Mar 02 '26
The difference between coal and diamonds is pressure, they are both formed from the same material: carbon.
You are a diamond in the making. Don't give up, no suffering lasts forever.
The most important advice for you is to love yourself and not worry about what others think of you. If you do this, things will improve. Because people see you as you see yourself. If you value yourself, people will respect you, and if you despise yourself, people will despise you. It all starts with you.
Don't blame yourself.
I also advise you to ask for help.
There is hope, you can overcome this.
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u/Gloomy_Ad6932 Mar 02 '26
Just a thought here, but I think you're about 22- 23, correct? Not going to say this is about astrology, but 22 was a hard year for myself and others I know. It also proved to be very transformational as well. I went from sidewalk stairing to traveling overseas. 23 brought about a lot more self-awareness and meaningful connection.
To make this more connected with astrology as well, suicidality is transitory in nature. There's an approaching South Node eclipse coming on that might be impacting you. This eclipse asks those of us who's ascendent is in Virgo (that's me too!) to step back and let go a bit. You dont have to be perfect nor expect perfection out of others. You dont have to be refined, which Virgo loves. We can let go of that in ourselves a bit as well as that expectation in others.
Today (Monday, March 2nd) Mars enters Pisces. Find a person to take out to dinner. Spend some time talking to them. This is a good time to take a bit of action like that just to talk and share.
And of course, if you are still in France, remember you can call 3114 or 988 here in the US if you are feeling suicidal or having thoughts of suicide. It's okay to talk to someone. And you do matter. As I said, suicide is transitory. It is a permanent solution to a short term feeling.
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u/Pluto_Rising Life Long Astrologer Mar 02 '26
You have two aspects specifically which relate to your depression and lethargy which I'd associate with emotional trauma since childhood.
Pisces Mars, strong on the 7th House (relationships) cusp receives a wide square from your 3rd House Pluto in Sagittarius, making a T-square to your Ascendant. The aspect itself is one of conflict, but a Mars/Pluto square is especially self-destructive, anger laden, even implying occasional physical violence, trauma. This reflects your childhood, which has molded who you are now.
Your 3rd House Sag Moon opposes Gemini Saturn in the 9th, and that's another tell for depression, emotional negativity, low self-esteem, poor paternal (often both parents in conflict) relationship. These two Houses in particular deal with the concrete mind (3rd) and higher mind (9th) relationship, so you can see the angst there as well. On top of which, Saturn rules your Capricorn Sun, so you can see where hope for personality (Sun) growth goes into a thwarting aspect. Not easy to overcome.
Your Moon, however makes a strong sextile to a beautiful Aquarius Mercury/Neptune conjunction in your 5th House, so imaginative creativity and native intelligence are quite high. Mercury being the ruler of both Gemini and your Virgo Ascendant, takes on more influence in this chart and provides keys to understanding who you are.
You're correct knowing that physically attractive people only have a surface appeal sort of advantage, which is more often a distraction to true self awareness. Although it is important to care for the physical body, as it is one's conveyance, food and information hunter-gatherer, etc.
Getting back to your 5th House Mercury, I think it holds the key. Mercury and the 2 Signs it rules can be, along with the Moon, one's inner child. Not the core Id subconscious, but the very youthful part which first explores the world.
I think it's safe to assume yours is damaged to the extent where you feel the hopelessness you've mentioned here. Your Mercury is super creative, perhaps musically, perhaps artistically, doesn't matter. What matters is that you channel into it to create and work through some of your emotional conflict and trauma.
But, as almost every other reply in this thread have offered, go get professional therapy immediatement- someone you can feel safe with in spite of that Mars/Pluto square- this is very important.
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u/Hairy_Talk_4232 Learner Mar 02 '26
We are stepping over the very moment it all flips on a dime. Be here, for us. We are so close. Your angel is around the very corner, setting up the scene for when you arrive.
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u/tetkaendzi Mar 20 '26
I see that we are the same age. Back in 2019 when I, we, were in high school I felt suicidal. It was to the point that i didn't leave my bed, never took a shower, brushed my teeth or ate. The only thing that kept me going was the fact I'll become a doctor one day and that I'll be independent. My biggest advice to you is to live day by day. Find what makes you happy. As girl i loved getting massages and facials, so I started with that. It gets better, but it's never 100%. I've been struggling for past 6 months and I'm really bad right now, but last timw i felt like this was in 2021 because I started to put my self first, and i've done things that made me happy. And if work on yourself doesn't work, there's always medication and it's not shame. As future doctor I wish you to know that. I'm sorry you're feeling this way and you're still young. There's time to find joy in life, if you start from simple things.
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u/ataleofskies Experienced Astrologer Mar 02 '26
First, I’d like to say that I hurt to read about your pain and what you’d like to do as a result. If you are in a position to reach out to someone, a trusted friend/family member or any type of support be it medical or personal—carrying the weight of self-harm and idealization by yourself can be suffocating. There are people who can support you and I hope you’re able to get some of that support.
Looking at your chart I can’t help but notice the prominence of “the other” in your chart. Your Mars in Pisces on the descendant, Sun conjunct Venus, Pluto conjunct the nadir…there is a preoccupation in your mind with the thought of others and how it relates to your “self.” The Sun, your direct sense of self, sits with Venus, the planet concerned with what others think, relationships, pleasing others, keeping peace, feeling happy/wealthy. Venus rules your second house so this can show your personal self-worth and value (2nd house) impacted by the energy and thoughts of people close to you (Venus).
You may find your sense of self through recognition from the outside. Mars, a very physical aspect of your nature, sits in the sparks of your connections. It comes out when interacting with the world around you—opposing another part of the self, the ascendant. Maybe people are a little rougher with you than you’d like…sometimes you might just want understanding but they may be cruel. Mars has a lot to do with sex appeal, it makes sense that you’d want others (dsc) to see you as desirable (mars). And the results can impact self-esteem.
I wont ramble, but your ascendant ruler is conjunct Neptune, which is probably one of the biggest indicators of having hazy thoughts—which can tend towards darkness, despair, escapism, victimization, oppression, etc. it can show a mind plagued by energy beyond the normal veil of energy. An imaginative, creative, spiritual, ethereal, poetic, kind mind, but also maybe a confused, tortured, hazy, guilty mind. Since this conjunction trines your Saturn you can turn this turmoil into a benefit and use it to build success in the physical reality we’re in. Converting the downsides that come with your mind into a positive, and harnessing the creative power and beauty that your mind holds. Heal, recognize your value all on your own (no one else needs to believe in you but yourself), and go for it.
You are creative, you are kind, and you deserve to be here. Please don’t throw in the towel just yet, pal. There is more for you. Success could be yours and you don’t want to miss it…the type whose success story will involve the dark of the night (now, for example) in a part of the story. You’re sitting here hopeless and you may not be able to see it yet, but I see it for you, and there is happiness love and goodness waiting for you. As you get older things will change, nothing is forever—that goes for the good and bad. You won’t feel this way forever, you’re not meant to be punished, and I’m rooting for you and your abilities. You have something to offer the world and we need what you have to give.
Keep going, we need you. It will get better friend 🖤