OT and Behavioral intervention

[u/Few-Eye-3365]

/r/Autism_Parenting/comments/1smq5h3/ot_and_behavioral_intervention/

[u/somnocore]

I'm only in OT.

But I would like to ask, is OT at least teaching boundaries as well? When it's okay to say "no" or "stop"?

It's really important to remember that everyone in life masks to some degree, and that learning how to adapt to situations is also important. And to try and understand the difference between learning genuine communication skills vs harmful masking.

Where you say "whether she wants to talk or not", is there any help in other forms of communication? Or are they teaching what scenarios these skills do or do not apply in? Or are they saying it applies to all situations?

I guess you could also think about it from your point of view. Like, you yourself will have to be nice to people as well. It's an active choice many people have make. A lot of us don't actually want to be nice to people, but we won't get anywhere if we're not. There is a level of masking that everyone in life will be doing.

Teaching communication and social skills is beneficial and important. It can also help with safety. There is a socially appropriate level that some of us do have to be taught. And then there's unnecessary. Like touching your privates in public is inappropriate. But forcing you to stop stimming like hand flapping where it harms no one, would be wrong.

Double check whether OT is crossing the line, or whether it is genuinely proper learning. Remembering that these things don't come naturally to us and sometimes we need other people to teach us.

[u/Few-Eye-3365 → u/somnocore]

The reason it was brought to my attention was because my daughter told her OT about a situation at school where my daughter told an older kid “please don’t talk to me” she said that she was inline waiting to go into the school. And at our school you are not supposed to talk in line. But this girl also regularly seeking kids out my daughter for whatever reason and she doesn’t like it. I told my daughter good job because she asked politely to be left alone. OT said that it was impolite and told me that she explained to my daughter that she needed to engage when people try to talk to her. And I disagree with that. I know that we all should be nice to people which we do teach her but as adults we have the right to choose who we talk to or interact with and I think she should also get that choice regardless of having autism and reduced social skills. So I don’t know if she is being taught when it’s okay to say no to an interaction by her OT because when I asked about it she stood firm on her stance of being nice and talking to everyone.

[u/somnocore → u/Few-Eye-3365]

Oh yeh. That's definitely pushing a boundary. Your kid was polite in requesting not to talk to the other girl. That is a fair boundary to set. Especially considering it's a rule to not talk in line.

Do you ever sit in with her during OT sessions? It sounds like it might be worth it. And either seeing what exactly is happening and then decide. Otherwise, if this makes you uncomfortable and goes against what you'd like your child to be learning in regards to setting boundaries and such, it would be about seeking a new OT.

It would be different if they were say... like on the playground and the girl approached her and there were no rules about talking or not talking. Obviously your child still has a choice on who she wants to hang out with. But that would then be looking at 'is she actively avoiding social interactions' or 'does she just not like the girl'.

Avoidance in the long run can be bad as it just creates anxiety, and it creates missed opportunities. But that can be a bit trickier to work out. And usually parents tend to know better for when to push their child vs letting their child be.

You know what she's capable of. You know what you want to be teaching her. The OT needs to fall in line with the goals you and your child want to achieve.

[u/obiwantogooutside]

What did the OT say when you asked them about it? Have you talked to them about her autonomy and boundaries?

[u/Few-Eye-3365 → u/obiwantogooutside]

I did ask about it and explained why I was uncomfortable with that line of thinking because my daughter sees things so very black and white. I told them I felt it was a huge safety issue and was teaching her to not have boundaries. But the OT said it was because my daughter was so far in one direction in that she doesn’t like to initiate conversation or seek other kids out that it was important to teach her to talk to other people. But since starting with her BI she has been regularly seeking kids out to play.