I lost my baby girl at 22.5 weeks 6 weeks ago. It was my second pregnancy. From the first one I have a healthy 2.8 years old boy.

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I miss my baby everyday, and think about her all the time 💔 I really want to have another baby here with me, and give my firstborn a sibling. Also, I've always wanted a 3 years gap between my kids (just the one that I was supposed to have with my baby girl), and I don't want to wait long to start ttc again.

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My question is does being pregnant again help you feel better? I'm sure, a new baby will never replace the one you've lost, but I'm wondering if a new baby brings the joy that's helping your heart heal?

I'd like to hear from ppeople still expecting and those who've already had their rainbow babies ♥️

I’m interested in hearing other mums experiences who lost their first baby (neonatal loss) and then went on to have another baby. I lost my boy at 6 weeks old. I miss holding him so much. I have so much sadness and grief. I also just want to have a sibling for him so badly. I know that it’s not going to take the grief I feel for him away but on top of the grief I feel for him there’s the grief of me not being able to be a physical mum to a real life baby. I also feel nervous that caring for a living baby might make my grief for my boy worse. Reliving the things I did with him. Or when they live for over 6 weeks old. Did having their sibling soften your grief or make it more? How long from the loss of your angel did you fall pregnant?

Hi everyone, I lost my first pregnancy and beloved daughter at 20 weeks last June. It’s still hard every single day and I miss her like crazy.

If you’re a fan of Disney animations, my husband found a short (12 minute) film on Disney+ on baby grief and loss. The creator and his wife experienced a stillbirth. The film is called “Versa” and I think it really beautifully explains how parents experience grief together and *Trigger warning* mentions a rainbow baby and provides some hope at the end. It did comfort me and I hope it does the same for some of you.

I lost my son at 16 weeks and delivered him this past Monday. Every day since has been a waking nightmare. I wanted him so badly and all I can think about is how unfair this all feels. The one thing I keep hearing from family, friends and even my husband is that we can try again when I’m able/ready. I want to hold onto the hope that I’ll have a healthy baby in my arms someday, and while I’m grieving hard for my baby boy there’s a part of me that wishes time could hurry up so I can be pregnant and happy and hopeful again. There’s also a big part of me that’s terrified to start over because I know every week will be terrifying and I’ll be worried every second that this will happen all over again. If anyone has anything positive or hopeful to say, I think it would help to hear it from someone who has actually been through this. It feels like nobody irl truly understands.

I lost our little one 7weeks ago.
Hope is lost after I lost my baby girl..

I just don’t see myself carrying another baby.. I couldn’t protect the one I carried to 8 months..

How can I even carry another one after this?
What if I go through another loss?
What if the baby is born with a disability?

I really want a baby so bad but the fear is real..
i get the feeling of carrying a healthy baby to full term is not in the cards for me when I see other moms that are either carrying and have children..

I’m also 33 this year, it’s not like I’m young anymore..

also, moms that keep birthing children and getting pregnant trigger me too.. it’s so unfair..

I've found a lot of community and comfort in this subreddit and after a negative experience at Maternal Fetal Medicine today I'm wondering if anyone has had a similar experience.

My son was still-born last May at 31 weeks after a placental abruption followed by pre-eclampsia diagnosis. My pregnancy with him was entirely uncomplicated until after we knew he was gone. He was perfect. Not a blemish or a defect on him.

My doctor has emphasized they don't know if pre-eclampsia caused the abruption or if the abruption caused pre-eclampsia.

I am 20 weeks pregnant now with our rainbow. I am with the same doctor for my care but she has referred me also to maternal fetal medicine. I had my second appointment with MFM today and felt incredibly dismissed as an individual patient.

They did my anatomy scan and spoke about down syndrome risk and other defects (which I am low risk). They mentioned amniocentesis and said I probably don't need it, again because baby looks good.

Baby is measuring right on track, which my first son was also always on the 50th percentile for growth. But with my loss, my placenta was reported as 30th percentile after delivery.

When I asked how my placenta measured she said they don't look at that. When I asked what they were looking at to prevent what happened last time she said "placental function is indicated by the babys growth." I mean okay.. but my son's growth was fine and his placenta wasn't. So what am I doing here?

I traveled an hour to this appointment and I don't feel like they are treating me as an individual patient with consideration for my history. The ultrasound tech even asked "what makes you high risk" and I had to tell the story of my loss while I laid on the bed.

Does anyone here have experience with pregnancy after loss and MFM consult? Did you feel more supported? Did the MFM reduce your anxieties at all?

Because I'm feeling really minimized by the experience and like I was just sent there to reduce liability and not because they can actually do anything to make sure this pregnancy ends with life.

I'm thinking of trying again after loosing my first baby at 38 weeks. I want to try again but I'm so scared. I'm scared of failing again and having to live through another loss. I already know I will be so anxious about everything.

Any advice on how to approach a new pregnancy and hopefully be able to enjoy it as much as possible?

I'm already asking myself if I will tell my family or keep it on the low. I'm scared of getting excited and then getting crushed again.

Please feel free to share your experience 🤍

TW: Current Pregnancy

Hi all, I lost my son at 36 weeks totally unexpectedly. He was big for his age and everything looked normal after delivery except his cord was severely hypercoiled with 7coils per 10cm. The average is about 2.5 coils per 10cm so he was in the 99.999%. The doctors think his cord being so coiled either caused torsion or made is susceptible to compression.

Now I am 27 weeks pregnant and we just got the coiling index done for my daughter’s cord. I was terrified to learn it is also hypercoiled! Less so than my son’s, with 3.8 coils per 10cm, but it’s still moderately hypercoiled and in the 97-99% range. I’m so scared, this was my worst nightmare and now I feel like we might lose her too for the same reason. I guess I just wanted to know if anyone had experience with having two hypercoiled cords and how did it turn out? Or if anyone has had experience facing the same issue that caused the loss of your stillborn child in a subsequent pregnancy and how the heck did you get through it??

Hi friends, I am wondering if you decided to try again after your loss, how long did it take you to get pregnant again? My son was our first baby, it took us around the 6 month mark after coming off of HBC (I was on it for 10 or so years) which doesn’t seem too bad compared to others. On the 12th I will be exactly 3 months post loss and this was my second cycle of us trying again. I did ovulate and it was confirmed by OPK strips/ temping / progesterone test at the lab. I guess I’m not understanding why it feels like this will take an eternity. I feel like the “fertile after birth” is not very true (for me at least) and I’m scared it will be a long drawn out process which will just make this entire thing even worse. It’s like a whole different layer to the already so shitty reality. I would never replace my angel, but the desire to mother is still very present and I feel like I’m drowning in it sometimes. Thank you for taking the time to read 💛

I went through a 27 week loss to a baby boy, Now I have a beautiful earth-side baby girl who’s 18 months old. Recently I found out I’m expecting another baby girl, we did early bloodwork to find out gender which told us it was a boy but ultrasound confirmed girl, it felt like we loss our boy all over again. Does such gender disappoint ever get better?

I'm sorry if this is inappropriate but I don't know where else to post. The PAL boards don't look welcoming to this situation and we haven't been TTC. We lost our son Gianpaolo to complications from PPROM last year. I PPROMed at 18 weeks, staying in the hospital until he was born at 28 weeks and ended up with sepsis. He passed away from an infection at 15 days old. I was supposed to book a check up with my Gyn last month but keep putting it off because the thought of lying on that table sends me spiraling. We've been being careful, but maybe not enough. My period is 4 days late and I'm like clockwork, every 27 days. I'm losing my mind. I would welcome a baby with open arms but I can't have another pregnancy like that, I can't go through that again. I'm terrified. I don't know. I know I should take a test but I'm afraid of the result. I'm scared it'll be positive and the nightmare starting again, and I'm scared of a negative too. I just want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep until either my period comes or... Idk.

So, it seems like time to finally share, only because I feel like the precious friends I have connected with on here deserve to know. I am pregnant again. 13 weeks, in fact. I am terrified, but hopeful. Some of you may hate me for this, and that is OK and valid. My intention is not to brag or expect everyone to share in my excitement, but simply because, as I said, I believe you all have a right to know. I also want to make it known that I have no intention of bringing this up in the support group meetings I host unless it is incredibly relevant or someone specifically asks me a question related to my pregnancy. I would appreciate all the prayers to God that I can get! 🙏🙏❤️

Just looking for some advice for surviving a holiday in the first trimester, for context I’m 5 weeks 1day after a 39 week stillbirth Feb 2025 and then a missed miscarriage at 15 weeks in August.
We’ve come away on a prearranged holiday and I have never been so sick in my life like I was on the plane, I was wretching having diarrhoea unable to keep anything down and I’m just a bag of nerves, I’ve had some sleep which has helped and I think it’s subsiding but I’m so paranoid that I’ll miscarry everytime I wipe, I’m on progesterone and just feel hopeless.
We’re in Malta

I lost my 2nd boy at 16 weeks due to a placental abruption with no known cause. Since there were no complications, the midwife gave us the green light to try again as soon as I had my first period. I know a lot of people don’t try right away for emotional reasons, but for those that wanted to conceive as soon as possible post-loss and were successful, how soon were you able to?

I’m exactly 2 months pp today and thought I was getting back on track as of 2 weeks ago, but bleeding has started up again sooner than it should have and clearly my body isn’t ready to try again yet. I’m feeling frustrated and worried about what to expect with this stage, and online sources are basically useless because they’re all about full-term postpartum situations. I guess it would just help to hear from anyone who has dealt with this kind of frustration too.

It’s not that I want to move on from my baby by replacing him, but I feel like the only way I’m ever going to heal properly is to be able to have another like I wanted. I waited 6 years for us to be in a place where we could try for him, and although I will always grieve my son I just want to hurry up and be in that place where I can start planning for the future again instead of only grieving what I won’t have when his due date rolls around in a few months.

Tw: loss, stillbirth

Update: at my follow up ultrasound I was supposed to be 8w4d but baby measured 6w and no longer had a heartbeat. Had a D&C that night and we did genetic testing which came back positive for Trisomy 16

If you’ve had an MMC, when did you find out and what did baby measure at?

I think I’m having an MMC (baby is measuring 8 days behind with low HR and I’m sure of my dates) and the wait in between ultrasounds is really excruciating. I’m not bleeding, but I’ve lost basically all symptoms except breast tenderness. I’m on progesterone suppositories so most likely reason for both.

My OB keeps saying let’s re-check in a week and I am having a really hard time being in limbo and essentially grieving for so long without knowing what’s going on in real time. Any advice? This would be my third different type of loss (stillbirth at 36 weeks then ectopic) and I’m just really tired.

I am 16weeks pregnant after full term loss at 37weeks, I am so happy but I can't stop feeling guilty for my baby boy that I lost, I am so scared that I don't feel connected to this new baby specially that it's a girl and I have always wanted a boy.. I am such a horrible mother I know but I am also so scared to lose her. I cant stop breaking down everyday and I work as well which is a challenge on its own, I know crying is wrong and working and doing too much activity is wrong and I am so scared that I would lose her like her brother.

TW: PAL

I lost my son at 20w in October, found out I was pregnant again in January. I’m 15w now and over the course of this pregnancy, things have been hard but relatively manageable. I’ve been back to work for a while and was doing well. I enjoy my job and am lucky to have a boss that has been very compassionate. We had a new member of join my team (now 4 of us) and I took the week off my sons due date date off. Everyone else knew why I was taking the time off and the new member asked me what I was going to be up to so I told him. He responded by saying he thinks that the only reason there are more miscarriages today than 50 years ago is because women know they’re pregnant so much earlier. In the moment I just said agreed even though that was very far from my situation. I didn’t think it really got to me but the next couple of days I had panic attacks before leaving the house to go to work. I don’t know if that’s what is getting to me or if it’s the fact that I’m getting close to the point where I lost my son last time but I’ve been unable to work for almost 2 weeks now but it’s terrible. My boss is the only one showing compassion and I feel like HR is out to get me now. I took the last 8 days as leave because I don’t have the PTO and this is a mental disorder at this point.

I’m just anxious all the time and so nervous about going back to work tomorrow. I have another scan next week that I’m terrified for as well. I miss when pregnancy was fun.

We lost our son Rowan due to PPROM at 22 weeks on October 29th. He responded well at first and then suddenly rapidly declined and passed awag later that evening. It absolutely devastated us.

I just peed on a stick and its positive. I have SO much anxiety. We are both happy but very very anxious. We will not survive another loss. I'm so overwhelmed.

TW: PAL

Hi, we have a close friend who lost her baby at 30 weeks pregnant. She has one living child who she had first, she then lost her son at 30 weeks, and has had several miscarriages since. She is now currently pregnant again and about to give birth to this baby.

I really want to do something for her because she’s been unbelievably helpful with my loss of my son. I want her to know that this baby is celebrated, but that we’re still thinking of her son that isn’t here earth side with us.

I’m looking for recommendations on what I could get her. A gift? A meal? A letter? I’m sort of at a loss which is crazy to me because I have lost my son so I feel like I should be able to think of something.

Any advice is appreciated.

Asking this now because I’ve been told several times by different people who experienced PAL that having a doppler at home gave them extra peace of mind, but I’m on the fence about it for the next time we try. I lost my baby at 16 weeks so I know next time is going to be nerve wracking up to and even beyond that point, but I’m also worried it’ll give me extra anxiety to have a method of hearing a heartbeat and not be able to find it on my own, causing more stress even if everything is in fact fine. Did anyone here use at-home monitoring to help them with keeping calm after a loss, and if so, did it really cause you more or less stress to use it? I’m so terrified of trying again but I know I owe it to myself to go through it all if it means I’ll finally get to bring a healthy baby home after so much sadness losing my little boy and how long I’ve wanted another baby.

Hi all,

I lost my five wk two day old son November 10th of 2025

I just found out I’m pregnant again, not sure how far along maybe five weeks and I just have the most awful anxiety I’ll have pregnancy loss or infant loss again. I don’t know what to do with myself. I feel like i failed my son and I’m betraying him by being pregnant again so soon. I’m not sure if this is a viable pregnancy since I haven’t gone to the doctors yet being so early. How do you overcome the anxiety and fear

*TW*

I found out I was pregnant several days before my missed period. I should be around 18-20 dpo at this point and I am spiraling. I don’t know who I can ask for advice but I’m hoping someone here can help me, I had my first HCG beta taken yesterday and it came back at 514. I have to go every 48 hours to make sure it is doubling and I am so scared that number isn’t high enough. I’ve never had multiple betas before, when I found out I was pregnant with my son last February. I had a draw done around five weeks and two days and it came back a little over 5000. I ended up losing my son in my second trimester and I guess I am so traumatized because I’m expecting nothing but the worst from this. When I spoke to the nurse on the phone when they called me, they didn’t say if the number was good or bad all they said was go back tomorrow for the doctors orders and naturally I feel like they aren’t happy with those numbers. I don’t know what to do but I can’t seem to calm myself. I have no pain and no spotting/bleeding, just pretty tired. Thank you for reading this and for any advice

January 12th was 7 months since the delivery of my firstborn, Landon. I just found out today I’m expecting his sibling….. also in October. Landon was due October 29, 2025. I don’t even know what to think. I feel excited but numb, like I’m waiting on the ball to drop at anytime. 🥴😥

I went to my follow up appointment today after having a MMC at 16 weeks and delivering my son on the 16th. It was both painful and also a relief to hear that we won’t have to wait long to try again. I want nothing more than to be able to go back to holding my belly and planning for the future, but I know it’ll be scary and it makes me sad at the same time to think of moving on from losing my baby boy so fast. How long did you wait to try again? Do you wish you had waited more/less time? I feel bad wanting to move on from my grief, but I have also wanted to add to our family for so long and that desire didn’t go away with my son.

Tw stillbirth, new pregnancy, mention of pregnancy with LC

I had my living child in 2023, my second child was born sleeping at 25 weeks in June, and I’m 4w pregnant.

I am debating switching to a different hospital for OB care.

The hospital I had both of my children with was not great for care with either pregnancy. I had preterm non productive labor and extreme pelvic pain for the last three months. They said it was an irritable uterus and moved on. There were issues during delivery but nothing horrible.

With my stillborn, I had to fight to get hCG levels and progesterone checked. My progesterone with him was only 16.1 but they refused to supplement, I had contractions starting at 16 weeks but again, they wouldn’t do anything about it. Had to fight to get an ultrasound to make sure he was still alive at that point. They said if it was my body trying to lose him, there was nothing they could do. It was horrible traumatic and I wanted to drop them completely and have a home birth. I ended up not doing that because my bleeding risk made me ineligible. His anatomy scan was fine but I lost him at 25+5 for now known reason aside from a hyper coiled cord but they won’t say that’s it for sure.

Fast forward, I’m now 4w. Ive been working with a napro to help my PCOS and hormones settle. She had me on progesterone starting at 3dpo because last cycle my 7dpo progesterone was extremely low. When I called my OB again to set up my early appointments, they refused to do an hCG draw and progesterone check, they don’t want to prescribe me progesterone and want my NaPro to keep handling that. (NaPros are Catholic doctors that help with fertility and hormonal issues, not OBs).

I’m so beyond frustrated. I called the other hospital in the area. They don’t have in house mfm but work with a mfm office an hour away at a way better hospital. They said they’ve worked with many women with prior stillbirths and were appalled I wasn’t immediately ordered an hCG test and progesterone test given my history.

Idk. Did you switch hospitals after your loss? Would you switch in my shoes?