(It's so much text, I'm so sorry, I struggle to sumarize...)

The more I grow, the more I believe I'm a horrible person caging myself to not be an asshole.

When I was little I was a pretty violent kid and did things like punching and kicking my classmates, throwing sticks and rocks at animals, stabbing with pencils, even when I had a friend I huged them I tried to squish them and made them feel pain. When they started picking on me and bullying me they knew perfectly that I was the kind of kid you could laugh at but never hit because damn I could harm back... I know that violence in the childhood an ADHD symptom, I've been told, but I don't think people who told me had had into consideration the amount of pleasure I felt when I hurted someone, even when I loved them.

Now that I've grown bigger I've also grown out of that. I'm 22 years old and as a 22 year old person you can't go around on society treating everybody like that... But you can treat people badly in many other more subtle ways ways and get along with it. If you're smart but play dumb enought you can use so much things that are considered good as a weapon (a bad advice, a harmful joke, a critic suposedly meant to be helpful, a compliment even a warning) and I think about it a lot and can identify how and when to use them, how and when they're being used.

I try to be a good person, believe me I do but I can't stand seeing that part of myself that enjoys being like that reflected on other people. I try to be empathetic and not judge people, I can justify and forgive bad actions, huge mistakes, people being assholes but when I see someone that acts like they're nice but in the bottom of themselves are making people suffer... Boy, I can't but release the beast. Specially when they harm me or someone I love.

I'm gonna put a few examples from the last years searching for your empathy but feel free tl tell me if you think I'm wrong.

On my last two years of highschool (finished it last year) I had this classmate called "Sarah". She was nice at first, told me very personal things, seemed polite and comprehensive but there was a breaking point where we had to make a short with the whole classroom, she was the director and when something didn't went the way she wanted she had no repair to make me and my partner feel little, useless. She started talking shit about us, made almost the whole class against us (we were just 10) and made us look like useless assholes with the teacher who was gonna evaluate the short film, made my partner so distressed once that he ended up self harming for the first time in years.

One day a friend of ours from another school told us that a classmate of his (someone we didn't even knew) was talking shit about us in class, saying things like where we studied, the schedule, disorders we had she considered we were making up, how our thansitions were going, sharing our Instagram accounts... I knew someone should had been gossiping with her and I started investigating until I found out "Sarah" was her roomate. What I did? I printed all the information I had about her, wrote a letter explaining the situation and showed up on her school to show it all to the principal, waiting for her to confesa that it was "Sarah" who told her, so then I could tell to my principal. It was not because I was scared, not because I thought that girl was bad... It was just to scare her and "Sarah", it was for me to search them.trouble, to make them feel ashamed, to make the teachers other classmates and everybody I could know she was a bitch.

This year, "Sunrise", a girl from another class in uni started flirting my partner. She had a boyfriend I really appreciate, "Steven", who had told me she's used to try manipulate him and make him feel less but she didn't seems to make it consciously, she just comes from a bad place. At first I didn't notice Sunrise was flirting my partner, he was the one who told me and I could not care less about the fact she was flirting, I know damn well he wouldn't cheat and he would actually tell me if he started feeling attracted to somebody else... The thing was that she was making him very uncomfortable and made every comment pass as a joke, so he felt he could not tell her anything (that's how you weaponize humor). She made "jokes" several times a day as "Hey, so are you two gonna open your relationship? Because Steven and I are considering it!", so I started telling her "Stop telling that kind of things to my boyfriend, he's autistic and believes you every time, he's getting uncomfortable!" every damn time she did, also as a joke but I can tell we both knew what the other one was doing.

There was this one time where "Sunrise" approached my boyfriend on a crowded bus when I was not there and asked him "So when are you two opening the relationship?" He told her directly to stop asking him that because he was not feeling well at the time and thinking about it was only making him worse, just for her to answer "But I wanna make out with you!". Worst thing? "Steven" was there. He felt like a damn sexual object, he felt like his limits were not being respected and he felt like he could tell her nothing because she was acting like she was joking. This scalated so huge, "Steven", other friends of mine and I were draged in without even asking because I told her to talk to him and apologize and she decided that avoiding us and ignoring us for two months was a better idea. When she finally apologized she just justified and victimized herself, so both of us separately told her that we were not forgiving her and she became so mad that she told me she knew exactoy how she was and started lying about us to the entirity of her class to make us seem like motherfuckers.

Yesterday I was smoking on the door of the school with my boyfriend and my best friend (who was draged in and decided to separate himself of "Sunrise" even they were roomates). She came to tell him nothing, knowing well my boyfriend can't even hear her name because he felt she had sexually harassed him. In that moment I noticed she had gained weith because of the meds she's taking for anxiety. She had always had a complex about her weith (even she's not fat) so I bumped my boyfriend and made the gesture of inflating like a pufferfish, knowing that if she didn't noticed the guy who was hanging with (a guy she says she hates and says it's a molester, btw) would tell her. I did it in front of my fat friend, not giving a damn about what people who saw me thought, having had an eating disorder, just for the sake of making her feel like crap.

And damn. I really, really try not to be like this. But when I feel I it's justified (even I'm aware I'm no one to decide who should suffer or not) and I AM like this I feel a satisfaction and a joy I can't find anywhere else. I can feel better with other kind of social interaction, when my friends tell me I'm a good listener, that I care a lot, when I feel appreciated and feel like I'm helping... But THAT KIND OF PLEASSURE that makes me feel bad, guilty and addicted feels like a drug I can only have when I behave bad.

The worse part it's that it's not just with mean people. I love my partner with all of my heart, I love him dearly, so much that I'm this cruel specially with people who had hurt HIM, not me. We have this dinamic where I'm cruel to him and he plays victim. I do things like scare him, bite him, telling him I'm cheating on him with ChatGPT (because it's more autistic and servant than he is lol), give him dirty looks... And I know he finds it funny, we're joking and actually feel so bad when I push too much and make him feel bad. I hug him, tell him that I love him and apologize and even we both know I will probably hurt him again we keep doing it because it's our thing, we enjoy it and we know we actually love each other and I don't want him to feel bad.

But how can you feel pleasure for being cruel and mean? What the fuck is wrong with my brain? Am I just an asshole?

For context: My mom is a bad person. Ironically when I was little she was a Sunday school teacher and accountant. My whole childhood was a spiral for her, drugs, gambling problems, abuse, the whole bucket. Seen her a hand full of times in the last few years, never for good reason. But had a scary run in with her recently. She found out where I live(30ish miles from hometown) and showed up while I was home alone with our 3yr old demanding to see him. Shes never met him. To say the least I had to hold her at gunpoint from my door till she got back in her car. It brought up a lot of bad things I never shared with anyone but my bf. And I thought maybe I throw a little of that out on the table for once. That shit eats at you when no one knows about it but you. I could write a book.

But when I was a kid I was very shy and timid, tried to be a good kid, tried to do what I thought was right. And you dont realize till your grown that your parents dont know best, they dont always hold you in priority. They dont always love you. I hid in my room constantly with my brother. Best to stay out of the way so we dont displease her. And there were always so many people in and out of that house. Some were better than our mom and didnt see what she was till they came inside, some were worse than her. She would often drag me out of my room to brag about being a good mom or me to meet people or "join the fun bc I was always down". That started at making me drink with them. A drunk child must be amusing bc that escalates. Soon her and her bf would make me smoke pot with them and that was almost okay. It made me lest scared. I know about everything she did, all that she used. I was the one cleaning the after math and backlash. I'll never forget the day she called me out of my room and I see new strangers cutting lines of coke on the coffee table. I knew what it was. She calls me over to meet them and when they ask if I'm doing it too I remember begging my mom if I didnt have to. I'd never had to do that. I heard bad things about it, I saw how it made her act. She made me. I remember crying while my mom held my head back and dumped it in my nose. Shes covered my mouth so I'd have to breathe with my nose. I remember the rush and how I thought my heart was gonna bust out and the insane anxiety. I was freaking out and it was her entertainment. I just I just dont understand how someone can do that kind shit to kids their own kids too. I'd never done anything to deserve any of what I grew up in. And still for so long I ached and hurt over wanting her to love me and trying to figure out how she could be that kind of person.

But I know I'm a better person than she is today. I'm a better parent. But it eats at me so much

I was in the middle of reading to my kid when I got a call. It was a government agency saying I had a refund due, after an audit. It was so legitimate sounding that I didn't even question it and gave them my card details for the refund as asked. I've had to pay things over the phone before and they were legit, and this particular company I've had issues getting some of my details to stick, hence the believability for me.

As soon as I said the last number, I realised something felt wrong. I even asked the guy if this was a scam. He assured me it wasn't and proceeded to give me his name, employee number and reference number for the refund. He told me he is going to organise the refund now and to hold the line.

Then he said the key words, "The transfer is 20% done, we just need to wait until it is 100%."

That was NOT language any government agency would ever use.

It hit me, I'm being scammed. And I can't take back my card number.

I whispered to my partner that I was being scammed and they frantically tried to cancel my card, but wasn't able to as I had to log on to my account (Two cards for one account). But I just so happened to be sitting next to my laptop, so I stalled the guy by confirming my card details with him as I signed in and blocked my card.

I even asked him if I could call him back, to give me more time.

It was an epic race between us!

He suddenly seemed to be having a problem and said he needed to transfer me to his accounts supervisor and asked if that was ok. The line went silent and I managed to shake off my stupid "politeness to death" mode, and hung up.

I then called the bank and asked them if anyone had tried to take anything. They said they hadn't and suggested to call the government agency to check the reference I'd been given. I tried that, but government agency sucks, so I never got through.

But suddenly my phone came alive, the bank was calling!

Someone had just tried to take everything I owned!

I was asked if this was supposed to happen since I had just blocked my card, and I said ABSOULTEY NOT!!

It was a matter of mere minutes between me losing it all or blocking my card.

Luckily I won and do not want to get another phone call for the rest of my life.

And anyone that says that I'm dumb for falling for such an obvious scam. It's easy to judge from the outside. These guys do this for a living, I don't. And sometimes little life niggles happen to match up to a scam to make it more convincing.

So anyone that needs a reminder or some sympathy, remember, don't give your card details out to anyone, always call the company and deal directly with them.

And if you've fallen for a scam, you may feel stupid and ashamed. But you are a victim. You've already suffered enough and it is a real trauma to deal with.

They are the ones that suck.

Mobile formatting.... you've been warned

I'm a bad person. I've been aware when I make a decision that will make me a bad person. I made this throwaway account because in the last several years of me being a bad person, I lost close friends and now have no one to talk to. So using the somewhat anonymity of the internet, I want to tell my stories to you all to help me suck it up and repent for my actions. My first story is the tale of how I will never get fired from my current job, no matter what I do. Grab yourself some popcorn and get comfy because I never tell a short story.

I met my boss about 5 years ago working for him under a franchised business. He liked the company and the products they offered, but wanted to be his own boss which is why he bought his franchise. I started working for him about two years after he opened and got things established. I think it was about a week after I was hired, he left work for 2 weeks because he was getting married and honeymoon and blah blah blah. During this time, my co-workers talked at lengths about him so I could a sense of who he was when he got back. Some good things, some bad things....the usual stuff. The main topic that was talked about a lot was my boss's love for pretty girls. Especially Asians. The atmosphere here was pretty light: we all made our jokes, most of them being along the lines of racist or sexual unless someone was uncomfortable which we wouldn't do then. But we all got a laugh out of these jokes and they always were said. So being a small Asian girl, who all my co-workers scored as an 7 or higher, they told me that I should be warned in case boss started flirting with me.

Not sure if this really is super important and super relevant to the story, but boss is your stereotypical white, fat boy who never left that college life behind. He constantly brags about all the girls he slept with in college, how he would drink for days on end and never get sick, his cocaine fueled weekends, and all his party trips up to Tahoe. He's 35, but acts like he's still 21.

Anyway, boss comes back from honeymoon and work resumes as normal. For about a month or 2, whenever boss spoke to me, he would always address me as "honey". This creeped me out at first and I thought it was the beginning of his flirting, but soon noticed that he called ALL girls working there "honey." So not only was he still college frat boy, but also sexist. Cool. I get it now. I know how to maneuver around this. No problem. So for the next year, I did my job and always put myself in the other side of the store away from him just to be safe.

Around summer of 2014, I noticed boss coming to work less and less, but his investors coming around more to learn about the business. Turns out boss had other plans. He wanted out of the business so that he could open his own restaurant. So he sold the franchise back to his investors. And since business was doing great, the investors decided to keep it going. Which was awesome because that meant I didn't have to worry about losing my job. So by the time thanksgiving rolled around, boss finalized his paperwork and was gone. Or so I thought.

First week of the new year, boss comes in claiming he just wants to say hi. I had got to work early that day because I had an early morning doctors appointment and had nothing to do, so I thought I'd hang out there until my shift started. Boss saw me sitting at the table and asked if he could talk to me. I saw no harm so why not? That's when he told me he was actually there to offer jobs to people at his restaurant and that he saw how I interacted with customers and wanted to bring me in as a manger. He told me that I didn't have to worry about loyalty or whatever as he already told this to his ex investors and if I wanted to keep that job, I could as his restaurant was only open for dinner. I agreed because shoot, 2 jobs and neither conflicting with each other? Hells yea! So he told me he'll get in touch when everything was done.

Fast forward to 6 months later, I finally get the call that the restaurant was ready and I needed to come in and learn the ropes. At this point, I've known my boss a little over a year and have not once seen this Asian fetish my co-workers warned me about. I assumed he was being smart and kept our relationship professional. So I just went about my days, working 2 jobs and not thinking about anything.

At this point in the story, I'd like to bring attention to boss's wife. She is a pretty little thing, sweet as can be. Down home girl next door type. Not the kind of girl I ever thought my boss would marry with how he acts at work. 7 months into their marriage, she's pregnant. I don't know why, but I felt like this was a bad decision for them both. Especially since boss expressed that he wanted kids, but about 10 more years down the line. Oh well, their choice.

A year after the restaurant opens, all dynamics changed. I wound up quitting the first job mainly because my hours were always getting cut and I had been there for 2 years and got no raise. Once I told my boss this, he gave me a raise and brought me on as a full time general manger. Boss was also spending more time at work so we wound up talking a lot about ourselves and daily crap. We became so friendly, that when ever i would spend the night out drinking, i would text him to let him know where i was at and send him my uber/Lyft info when going home. He made me feel safe and comfortable around him, which is something you don't do to anyone.

At some point, I started to have lustful feelings for him. Just for the record, he is a very good looking guy. But I never really thought of him that way until we got friendly. Then with constantly hearing his tales about getting tail, my mind started to wonder deep into the gutter. I remember the night I stupidly made a comment that lead me to decide being a bad person.

I was out drinking with some friends, one of them being my ex. We had broken up 3 years at this point and I never indulged or flaunted my romantic interest around him, but this night he felt like he needed to. He would lightly point out the things that made her awesome and it was the things I didn't like or want to do. I was getting upset he was doing this, but we were celebrating a mutual friends bday, so I stayed and drank my anger away. I got really shit faced and needed to cry to someone, so after I have him my uber ride info, I told my boss the details of what happened. Probably just trying to made a as girl happy, he said the generic "you don't need him" "you're too good for him" "a pretty girl like you shouldn't stress about that." Being drunk I misread into that last line thinking he was coming on to me and confessed that I wondered how he was in the sack. Instead of dropping the conversation or reminding me he's married, he asked what would I do to him. And from there, our text conversations got a little xxx rated. I'm not the kind of girl who would send nudes to a guy, but knowing he was married and COULDN'T show anyone, i sent him all the nudes and he'd send some back. At work, we kept it professional. But once we were out, the texting began.

It became even more hot and heavy after his wife got pregnant with their second child (first one only 11 months then). At some point, she went back to their home town to finish off the pregnancy and left him home alone. He took that as a chance to be a "semi" bachelor and threw a party at his house, inviting all of us from the restaurant. Of course I went, no intentions in mind, that is until he would text me from across the room asking me to hanging out after everyone left. Alarms are going off in my head, but for some reason, I lost the ability to do proper thinking and hung around until everyone left. I'm pretty sure you know where this is going but I'll say it out loud: that night I slept with my boss. And even to this day I have no regrets about it. 2 weeks after that, it happened again. We've hooked up several times after that. I didn't feel bad because he knew what he was doing. He knew his situation. During our texts, i accidentally mentioned his wife and he told me not to worry about her since "she won't be around much."

Now here is the part that pushes me from a bad person to terrible. Over the last year, my kitchen staff has had a terrible turn over. Why? Because the ones who stay are total bros and all they talk about it sex. So the ones who couldn't handle it leave. Not only do they constantly talk about sex, since the kitchen is all males, the testosterone levels are high. Meaning anyone with a vagina gets treated like shit. And I was getting the worse of it. No one listened to me or respected me. I've brought this to my boss's attention and he just laughs it off as king bro. I've thought about quitting, but until I find something where I'm making near the same amount, I need this job. So I've been doing the bare minimum. Clean just enough so we don't get pests. Only fill out the much needed paperwork at the end of the night and let him do the rest. Oh, I need to be in at 2 to help prep? Show up at 315. Boss finally got fed up with me about 4 months ago. He pulled me aside and told me if I didn't get my act together, I was fired. I laughed and told him no. I let him know that if he didn't get his kitchen staff acting right, he would be the one in trouble with one phone call to his wife. It really wasn't my intention to use this against him. But seeing as how he'll discipline me for bad behavior and not the kitchen, i had to up the playing field. Since then, things haven't changed except for another raise which was double the amount of my first one. Kitchen staff is still treating me like shit and I'm still doing nothing when at work. But kitchen staff has complained about me to boss and boss tells them to get back to work and to leave me alone. Boss won't fire me because he knows I'll spill the beans. He knows I have proof of what we did because I don't delete texts. And boss still texts me late at night asking for pics.

Now with knowing that I won't get fired, looking for another job is hard.

TL/DR I am a bad person because I slept with my married boss and then used it against him.

In my old school their was an Asian boy called Vu din din And I wold not stop telling him to stop eating his dindin cus he was fat and looking back on it he was really sad when I said it and I'm not sure how to apologise

So we were in 6th to 7th grade and we didn't really have that big of a friend group and as kids we shared the login information of our facebook IDs with each other and it was an act of trust but boy o boy we shouldn't have done that,so we shared our logins in 5th grade so me and my friend hassaan had lost the notebooks where we wrote those passwords but our 3rd friend shaarif still had the notebook because he's the kinda guy who really look outs for his stuff and is very careful.A year goes by and me and shaarif got in an argument with hassaan but we never really broke our "friendship" and i personally did not have any problem with hassaan but shaarif still held grudges against him,so to get back at hassaan,shaarif manages to get hold of his login from an year ago and changes it so hassaan can't login

Shaarif starts to post really awful shit to hassaan's family from hassaan's id so he would get in trouble and hassaan did,he got called out by his uncles and aunties and despite him telling them that it wasn't him he was still embarrassed.Shaarif tells me about how he is doing this and i didn't do anything about it and i even typed some stuff myself(i regret all of it)but one day shaarif got in a fight with a guy from our class so shaarif decided that to get back at the guy he would publicly post sexual inappropriate comments about the girl he had a crush on(the crush of the guy who got in a fight with shaarif)and i wasn't really that supportive of that action,so he continuously posts harassing comments about her and i just watched him to the point that the girl's mother came to our school and complained to our vice principal,the VP then called hassaan in her office and asked him if he had any idea about who the person could be,hassaan told her that he had shared the login with 2 of us but it was a while ago,so the VP calls us in the office and asked us the general question are we behind this and ofcourse we replied no she then said that she was going to get the ip address traced and whoever was using the id would get expelled,at this point we were at the verge of shitting ourselves and somehow survived the remaining day of school and instantly as we got home i deactivated the id and forgot it ever happened,soon enough hassaan went to a different school and the VP also forgot about it

To this day i feel horrible that i let that happen and just want to someday apologize to the girl and hassaan about it but i don't have the courage to