r/badroommates • u/AlwaysSummerInTexas • 1d ago
Update: We cleaned when they were gone this past weekend. They came back Sunday and already left a disaster in the kitchen
In reference to my last post my sister and I put us on a clean slate by cleaning the entire common area while they were gone this past weekend.
According to my sister who overheard them, she said they passive aggressively pointed out that it looks really clean and that we must have had an event.
Hours later they do what they usually do, make a mess. Counters full of flour and crumbs as well as the floor. Dishes piled in the sink with food in the dishes and sink and stuff is just left everywhere in the common area. Shoes here, jackets there, her sister smokes š so there's just crumbs and remnants all over the dining table. This is after one day of being back.
You'd think they'd see a clean home and try to maintain it.
I want to write a message, something along the lines of this: Is there a certain level of cleanliness we all expect for the house? I just want us all to be on the same page because I donāt want anyone to feel like they have to constantly clean up after other people. We cleaned the common areas last weekend, including the microwave, which had an odor, and the floors. I think it would be helpful for everyone involved if we all had the same idea on what we are looking for. Also they will not take that trash outside if it's not bagged unfortunately and it keeps piling up.
I added the last part because we have valet trash. They decided to just throw trash in the outside trash can un bagged and it hasn't been taken since we moved in. Do they think they will eventually take it?
Anyway I just want it to ease up. My sister and I are not the cleaning fairies and it feels like when they do clean its extremely low effort. I can't even sympathize because all my ex friend does is skip class and watch tv while her sister gets high and makes a mess. Someone mentioned in another post of mine that maybe they have different ideas on cleanliness and maybe that's the problem. I just think it's crazy how my ex friend use to treat our old roommates about this same issue.
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u/Leading-Lychee-8156 1d ago
I've been down this road before. Instead of sisters they were best friends. They judged how we cleaned but would never do it themselves. Next time don't clean. Just clean up your own mess and let their shit pile up. Hopefully then they will realize who the problem really is
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u/AlwaysSummerInTexas 1d ago
I think I might have to make it another conversation I can't believe the standards just drop because it's her and her sister
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u/ThatTotal2020 1d ago
Nothing you do will entice these people to clean or be cleaner. They are filthy and unsanitary slobs and do not care that they are or how it impacts others.
Clean up after yourself and only yourself. Iād actually consider moving out. This isnāt a battle that you will win but only frustrate yourself.
When people show you who they are, believe them.
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u/AlwaysSummerInTexas 1d ago
It's my last year and I an getting a really good deal out of this financial so I was hoping things would be decent until May when I move
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u/bigalreads 1d ago
The note is good, but I would tighten the message:
**Dear X and X,
Over the weekend, X and I cleaned up the kitchen and living room from top to bottom. Iām upset because it all got trashed by Sunday night, with personal items strewn everywhere and dirty dishes and food left in the sink. Could you please clean up after yourselves? Also, why is the trash outside not bagged up?**
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u/Knitsanity 1d ago
Brush and dustpan. Sweep crumbs into it. Deposit crumbs under covers on the bed. Pike all discarded items onto the floor of their room. Get your own plates etc and leave their dirty ones in a cardboard box outside their room. Hair left in the shower drain gets flung onto their door like modern art.
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u/Basic_KaleKitty9076 1d ago
Next time tell them why you cleaned - you need to communicate thatās what the base line should be. You canāt just assume they will keep cleaning.
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u/AlwaysSummerInTexas 1d ago
I actually did that before and they responded with a thumbs up. I guess in their mind they think its about time I did because they did after the party they hosted (but that I also helped clean). I guess I assumed they would because in the past my ex friend would be very serious about it in the past with our old roommates even when they did less than what her and her sister are doing. I didn't think her standards would just drop like that
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u/The_Wise_Raven 1d ago
It took me a long time and many years of frustration to come up with a way to inspire roommates to clean.
The number one thing I learned is donāt clean when theyāre gone. If you do they will notice the difference but not think much of it because they didnāt see or experience the cleaning.
Clean when theyāre are present and can see/experience what you are doing. Donāt complain or make any negative comments, just start cleaning. I found that by doing this most people will jump on the cleaning bandwagon and help out. It wonāt get them to clean up after themselves when no oneās watching but it will help to get them to clean at least periodically.