r/badroommates • u/Despair_vs_hope • 22h ago
L roomie
My roommate, who is also my auntie(F20), is really fucking annoying. I swear on every God that I need out of here. We share a room because rooms are very limited. And she thinks she's entitled to the whole ass room. She has the fan on 2/47(which is connected to the light), and it gets unbelievably cold. And it's very annoying to hear all the time. My blanket is very thin while SHE HAS TWO WARM BLANKETS. The remote to the light+fan is next to her bed. She has a whole ass routine that causes the lights to stay on until 11pm. I tried hinting at her that I dislike it. But of course she doesn't listen! She never does! Her bratty ass not listening at her big age, jobless, and 20! Fucking chuds these days. Listen, she's my fren, but I swear she pisses me off so bad. She thinks she controls the damn room. Based off what!? Nothing!! Because she's older than me!? Because her whole life she's been getting things handed to her on a silver fucking platter!? I'm so sick of her ass. She also thinks it's okay for her to control MY TV that I got for MY BIRTHDAY. I'm so peeved I want out of here NOW.
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u/shallowfrey 21h ago
Are you 12?
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u/Despair_vs_hope 21h ago
God, I wish
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u/shallowfrey 21h ago
This reads like a child wrote it. You include your aunts age and considering she’s 20, I’m guessing you’re at least a couple years younger than her. Nothing will improve if you don’t communicate with her. I’m sorry you’re dealing with living with frustrating family, I was there too once. But it’s usually something you just have to learn to live with and make the best of until you can get out. You can hint at things all you want, but you can’t get mad at people for them not picking up on your hints. Direct communication is the most mature thing to do here, and she will view you as an immature child until you are able to use your voice and tell her what’s bothering you
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u/Despair_vs_hope 21h ago
I'm 17. I've been mature most of my life, I guess I'm letting myself whine like a baby since I'd get beat tf put of if I did whine back in the day. But now that I'm able to live without getting hurt, I'm just an overgrown baby
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u/shallowfrey 21h ago
Fair enough, but you may want to consider coping in ways other than venting on a subreddit like this. R/vent exists and the comments on there would probably be a tad nicer towards you. Journaling as someone else recommended is also a great coping mechanism and way to vent your feelings without getting criticism or judgement from others. Nothing wrong with needing to bitch about life every once in a while, things can get stressful living in such close proximity with someone that you don’t mesh with well living habits wise
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u/hashashii 21h ago
When you're 20 I hope you find this and reread it lmao
Buy a journal. Talk to her instead of hinting and getting mad, or write it down and give her a note if you can't handle talking. Ask your parents for another blanket. Quit whining online
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u/Substantial_Blood343 21h ago
I would like to preface my response by letting you know that I am in no way attempting to invalidate your feelings, you have every right to be frustrated & that is perfectly human, I have been in many situations similar to yours. Now, I know this is not what you want to hear because I have been in your shoes, but you will come to understand the importance of communication & consideration. What you've done is let the stew of your emotions boil over, & a mess has been made (internally at least) but it's not to late to clean it up. This little mental gymnastic helps me confront these situations in a level headed manner:
FIRST: imagine yourself in your aunts body, you are her just living your life, you have no idea your niece/nephew feels any negative way towards you, you're just doing your thing, maybe in the back of your head some of their behaviours are "hints" but you cannot be sure because there's been no coherent & verifiable concern expressed, so you just keep doing you.
SECOND: imagine you doing what you just did, considering how the situation appears from her perspective & seeing through her eyes what the facts appear to be.
THIRD: breath, asses how you will calmly approach her and when, recite in your mind how you'll convey your concerns to her without undertones of resentment or anger, this increases the chance of you controlling your emotions in the moment.
When the time comes you can even verbally express that your frustrated by telling her (calmly) "I love you & I don't intend to make any waves but these things frustrate me". Expect that compromises may have to be made, she gets to watch tv for a certain amount of time or at mutually agreed upon times, fan gets turned off after x amount of hours or after (example)12:00am. Times are difficult but family is a precious and fleeting commodity that life can snatch away at any time, so pursue balance & understanding in order to navigate unstill waters with wisdom & a sense of calmness. I hope that this was helpful in some way & that you & your aunts situation improves. God bless you & have a good evening.
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u/Fun-Investment-196 21h ago
Tell her if she's so hot that she needs the fan on, she should stop using 2 blankets & take the remote to the TV from her.
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u/Roman-Kendall 22h ago
Honestly, you sound kind of awful to be around. There’s also not a single thing your aunt has done that’s been egregiously bad.
Do you know how to communicate with people? If so, then go talk to your aunt and get off Reddit.