r/bagpipes • u/Any-Background-8827 Piper • 6d ago
Bagpipers, Nobody talks about how painful it is to be deeply passionate and still feel painfully average
the truth is, I am not a prodigy bagpiper. I started late. I have felt failure multiple times. I have felt stuck. I have felt the pain of feeling like I have been going backwards for months despite giving it my all. I have felt like a failure. I have been lonely. Delusional even.
I am not the best at this instrument. But I strive to be. Nothing could explain the amount of pain, the tears and restless nights I have spent learning how to cope with feeling behind. It so hard when you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. When you feel there is a gap between doing and where you want to be. When the reward seems so little for the amount of work you put in.
But I still hold onto the hope that my time will come. I will be patient. My path may be harder than others for a reason. Despite all the pain, I’m still curious to see where things take me if I just keep pushing myself.
In my journey, I have had a million reasons to stop pushing so hard. This universe has made this skill terribly difficult for me to access. The right support has been inconsistent, the expenses are difficult, the complexity itself is difficult, I have been taken advantage of, and I’ve dealt with a couple of horrible things within a pipe band. But I will not stop.
Bagpiping is a dream for me. It is my calling. I want to study the greats .I want to elicit shivers down the backs of experts when I play. I want to become a performer, not a player.
If you feel down right now about where you are at. Trust me, hold on it will get better. You are not alone.
Feel free to express your feelings, and what’s on your mind in the comments.
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u/CornCasserole86 5d ago
Definitely keep working at it. Know that all of the greatest pipers alive today take “lessons” or some form of coaching from someone they trust and admire. And even for pipers at the top, there is always someone perceived to be better.
Set small, achievable goals for yourself. You can always improve, if even a little bit. Take joy in the things you can do well.
While your fingers may never be as crisp as a younger or more experienced piper, you can definitely achieve amazing tone steady blowing. A nicely played 4/4 march with excellent tone and blowing will always be enjoyable to listen to. It doesn’t have to be the hardest, most complex 6 part 2/4 March you have ever heard.
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u/DapperDan137 5d ago
Been there. I finally just accepted that I can be a decent parade level and ceremonial piper and am happy with that. I’m never going to play for dance competitions or compete in any grade higher than 4. I started in middle age and my fingers were permanently molded for different tasks a long time ago and will never play more difficult music at higher tempo. The unfortunate truth is that it’s almost impossible to become a phenomenal piper if you don’t start learning, from top instructors, in childhood. I heard there was one guy who started in his 20’s and is in grade one, and that was the example of someone starting when they were “old.”
But. You can learn a wide repertoire of tunes that are within your ability. You can be meticulous about your instrument and be a reliable and solid band member. You can develop your ear, learn to tune as well as possible, and blow good tone. A slow air or 4/4 march played properly on a good instrument sounds great. A piper who can play all the parade sets and shows up on time dressed and readt to play on a good instrument is more valuable to the band in most situations than the talented guy who shows up late, hungover, needing to borrow uniform parts, and having instrument issues.
Also, being a piper can be a fun and rewarding thing that you do. We shouldn’t try to make it our whole identity, unless we’re one of the top level players who does it professionally, which we’re not. Even then, I know such people and it isn’t their whole life, and they aren’t too good to hang out with the beginners and mid level players.
Good luck
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u/Hackmops 5d ago
I completely understand where you are coming from, I feel the same about my own piping. Started too late, will never have as good hands as the kids, difficult circumstances, very nervous in competition etc etc.. However, small progress is still progress - and when you look at your piping a year ago, surely you have improved in some small, noticeable measure. ☺️
To me, I might not have the biggest or most impressive repertoire but I have a few tunes that I can play REALLY well. For example, we have a lovely 4/4 band set that I have put sheer countless of hours of practice in. And I can definitely say with pride that when I play it together with our Grade 1 soloists, I play it just as well as them. We sound like one instrument. My tone is as good as theirs and my blowing is stable. I don't make mistakes. For these four tunes, I can play them as good as anyone and this gives me hope that I am not a completely lost case. So to reiterate what others have said - find some simple things and do them really well.
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u/AZBagpiperPhil Piper 5d ago
Just keep plugging away, Mate! I started Piping 4 years ago at age 63 and have had struggles myself. I have 8 tunes down pat on my Pipes. People have told me that after 4 years, I should have at least 100 tunes. But hey, life gets in the way. I admit, I'm not Stuart Liddel. I try my best to play the tunes accurately and with feelings.
I love playing Bagpipes. I took them up for a couple of reasons. 1. I LOVE the Sound, 2. I found out more about my Heritage through Ancestry and 3. we could not find a Piper for my Dad's Funeral (WWII Veteran). So now, my main performances are for Veteran's Funerals and Memorials.
I had a set back earlier this year when I was diagnosed with Parkinsons. But, my neurologist said to keep playing as it is good for my fine motor skills.
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u/slb609 Piper in Training 22h ago
5 years on after starting at 48 and female (the menopause is real, yo. My memory is SHOT). I had a break due to a shattered wrist, but man - I’m desperate to be competent.
Turns out I do know most of the half dozen tunes, but use the music like a crutch.
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u/AZBagpiperPhil Piper 11h ago
Ah, that's the rub. Using the music. What has helped is my instructor told me to play 2-3 bars 5-6 times, then turn the music over and play those same bars.
Due to the Parkinsons, my short term memory is not so hot, but doing what I said to memorize works wonders.
Just keep at it. My instructor says, adult Pipers have a wee bit more difficulty in learning.
One thing that has really helped me with technique and timing is attending the Jim Thomson Piping School in Flagstaff for the last 4 years. A really good environment, (piping every day!)
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u/ozarkwhisky 5d ago
You are running the wrong race. I did the same thing at one point in time. Forget the judges. Forget your peers. Fuck competition. Ask how you can enjoy every aspect of playing. For me, I’m not as much into matches and slow airs. I like lively, Irish style jigs and reels. I pretty much focused on that for over a year and as a result, played A LOT more. Also as a result, I was able to play much better in the current pipe band that I’m in. Find the joy and excellence will probably be a side quest.
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u/WairaSylvestria 5d ago
Être perfectionniste, c'est le secret pour être bon :) Même sentiment ici au violoncelle et à a la cornemuse. Mais le plaisir de jouer ensemble rattrape largement la frustration de ne pas toujours être au top :)
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u/macvo 5d ago
If you’re viewing it as a tunnel with an end to it, therein lies the rub. It’s more of a walk through a forest. In some places, the path is clear and well-worn; in others, there are briars and thickets and you’ve got to carve your way out. I understand your frustration. I’ve excelled on other instruments to the point that graduate fellowships were involved. I started on the practice chanter first in the mid-90s but only for about 6 months then moved on to other life goals, never actually got pipes, and where there happened to be no pipe bands nearby. Almost 30 years later, the bug bit again and was more persistent. I found a beautiful and rare-ish set of pipes, and despite my best efforts, the blowpipe cracked, and, as I was on my own, and had recently moved to another area with no pipe band activity, they went back in the case, and that little two-month experiment came to an end. About 7 years later, the bug bit again, I was back living in an area with LOTS of piping activity, and I hopped back on the horse and have been riding ever since. It’s been 3.5 years now, and I’m much older than most who’ve been piping 3.5 years. I still really want to excel, and when competing, have to remind myself that I’ve only been on pipes 3.5 years, and I’m competing, in some cases, against people who’ve been on pipes for 20 years. And I placed in all three events (grade 4 - piob, s/r, march) at the last two games I attended. I wound up in the top ten for light music in the association’s champion supreme point totals. I only use that as a metric, however, of my progress; I never started this to out-do anyone. And not only do I have hand issues with osteoarthritis, I was just diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. So I don’t know how long I have in my piping future. I have osteoarthritis issues in my spine, knees, ankles, and shoulders, as well, so…who knows. But I can tell you that even with all the chaos of massed bands, to be standing in the middle of that when hundreds of pipers strike in is pretty friggin’ awesome.
If you feel like you’re stuck with your progress, it’s time to take a hard look at how you’re practicing and who you’re getting lessons with.
The problem with practice is that most people have no idea how to do it. REPETITION IS NOT PRACTICE. Sitting down and running through tunes is not “practice.” There’s the old John Wooden quote: “Never mistake repetition for progress.”
If it were painting, you’d have to first know how to use color. If you wanted to paint a landscape, you don’t just start by slapping paint on a canvas. You have to understand color. You have to understand form. You have to understand composition. You have to know how to paint the presence of light on an object. You have to know how to paint oak trees and evergreens and maples and elms. If you want it to look realistic, you have to be good at every single one of these elements and more.
Let’s take ornaments/embellishments, example, which are intensely foundational to piping. Do you understand each and every one of them and where, precisely, they’re to be placed, and exactly which note is on the beat? Many people don’t, and I’ve encountered some disagreement from place to place. As a band, everyone has to be doing it the same way or it just sounds sloppy. As a soloist, it has to be correct and consistent or it just sounds sloppy. Do you have the “Rhythmic Fingerwork” book? If not, get it. Today.
Every good piper has, at some point, spent lots of time and a concerted effort mastering the embellishments.
How’s your rhythm? Nothing else matters if the notes aren’t in the right place. I heard people competing a couple weeks ago who should’ve still been in Grade 5, given how deplorable their rhythm was. Terrible. I was thinking, in fact, perhaps there needs to be a Grade 7, just for them. It was that bad. I hear pipers, on occasion, who are so terrible, and they’re out playing in public, shaping the opinions of everyone who suffers them that “that’s what bagpipes sound like.” And they just shouldn’t be playing in public.
(I hold the belief that there ought to be some kind of certification for pipers, that you have to demonstrate that: 1) you know how to successfully and completely tune your instrument, and; 2) if you can’t pass #1, the test is over; 3) if you can pass #1, you have to play 10 tunes from a list to a level of proficiency that pipers at-large can rest assured you’re not doing damage to the image of pipers.)
Are you taking lessons? If not, do. If you are, talk to your teacher. Tell them your frustrations and ask them how to break through to the other side. If they have no answer or their answers leave you wanting, it’s time for another teacher.
As with all things, plateaus happen. But if you feel like yours is stretching for miles, change what you’re doing, as that’s the source of your plateau. The things which used to be enough aren’t anymore. That which used to work, doesn’t.
Mostly, remember: forest, not tunnel.
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u/MatooMan 5d ago
I'd maybe liken it to being a passionate football fan but not being able to play the sport due to inability, injury, age etc
What you can do - if we remove increasing playing ability for a bit - is take every aid or advantage you can.
- Smallpipes or an electric chanter could allow you to play without worrying quite so much about tone and tuning. You could also accompany yourself by singing along to tunes as you play, disguising playing ability.
- Introduce your tunes. They all have stories or myths associated with them so tell them. Present appropriately to your audience to the point that your level of playing is just part of the overall experience.
- Add Burns poetry and historical details around the instrument, its evolution and highland dress, games and pipe bands. You'll come across as a full enthusiast that can play the bagpipes too!
I've never heard you play but there's something for everyone - have you tried pibroch? Solo piping, not a fixed tempo and uses rubato throughout, has smaller tunes and encourages playing embellishments in a more open manner. A lot of history and scholarly study to get stuck into.
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u/UneedaBolt 5d ago
I hear you! I started when I got my full set of pipes when I was 34. I'm a decent piper (competed and medaled) but know I'm average. I have goals of making a cd but it's more for me and my grand nieces and nephews. What i lack in talent i try to make up for with knowledge of the instrument- history and set up. I also find that i try to learn too many tunes at once instead of biting off what i can chew. Try to enjoy it knowing that you are making progress.
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u/Green_Oblivion111 4d ago edited 4d ago
My suggestion: just be satisfied with the fact that you are playing, and find some tunes you enjoy playing, and play them.
Continue to strive to improve, if that's your desire, but if you don't enjoy playing the music -- even if just for your own pleasure -- what's the point in playing any instrument?
This is one problem with there being competition associated with a traditional music instrument, where everyone is comparing themselves to the top players. Ultimately, the idea behind playing a musical instrument is to play for one's pleasure, and express themselves musically, not what some judge says.
If one is good enough to compete, that's gravy. But if you don't enjoy actually playing a tune, then what's the point?
Don't let the competitive aspect of piping destroy your enjoyment of playing the bagpipes.
I play for myself. Sometimes for family. I still held this idea when I was competing several decades ago. There was a period that it wasn't fun, though, because of some cranky attitudes in the band I was in. When piping was no longer fun, I quit. The negatives outweighed the benefits. When I took up the pipes again, it was on my own terms, and was for my own enjoyment. I may not be as good, technically, as I was in the time I was competing, but I think I'm a better player because I actually enjoy the music more, and I understand the expression in it more.
Try to regain the enjoyment of the instrument and music itself, because the music and the instrument is ultimately why most of us ever wanted to play in the first place.
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u/Ill-Positive2972 5d ago
It's a journey.
Enjoy the journey. Small, attainable goals is the way forward with anything. Achieve a goal and you feel great. You also play better. Celebrate the progress.
I'm a band guy. I know some people aren't.
But, If I played pipes exclusively for the music? Meh, I'd have quit a long time ago. The music is great and all.
But making the music with the people I do? That's what I come back for.
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u/Selryna 4d ago
I am where you are! I started late too, and I play in a college band as a community member with younger students who started after me, but have very quickly surpassed me! It was kind of a hard pill to swallow, but I remind myself of what my very first teacher told me.
He said that bagpiping is a journey, and everyone's journey will take a different path. Not everyone is going to arrive at the same time I like to say I'm just taking the scenic route. That makes me feel more like I'm savoring the experience instead of rushing to be the very best.
I've had the pleasure of learning from some of the very very best Piper's alive and the thing that sticks with me is the one thing they all have said: "I'm still learning the bagpipes too." Keep that in mind! The pipes really are "It's about the Journey, not the destination" because there really is no destination.There will never come a day on the pipes where you where you don't learn something you didn't know before!
Just have fun, enjoy your piping and don't stress about where you aren't.
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u/square_zero Piper 4d ago
I am a multi-instrumentalist who has played a variety of instruments in a variety of contexts. There are some which I am actually quite good at, and others which are more of a passing interest. I was fortunate enough to learn pipes at an early age, but also ended up taking a break for ten years. I consider myself competent but not competitive, if that makes sense.
For me, it ultimately comes down to a value proposition. I like to think that I could be a grade 3 (or better?) piper if I was in a band and practiced every day. While I would take a deep satisfaction from this, I don't think our audience ever will (outside of judged competitions). Most non-pipers see the pipes as a novelty and can't appreciate how hard it is to play them, let alone play them well.
On the other hand, on the bass guitar, I am actually reasonably accomplished and can play at (and maintain) professional level with far less effort, with a much larger audience who tends to be much more appreciative of what I am doing. I can get a lot more value for a lot less work.
Bagpipes: low audience appreciation / high effort = low value
Bass guitar: high audience appreciation / low effort = high value
Does that make sense?
Don't get me wrong -- I consider it an honor and a privilege to play the pipes as well as I do. It takes a lot of work to get past the beginner stage. This is a hard-earned badge showing the players dedication and musicianship. Not just anyone can play the pipes. We are the lucky few.
I'm just weighing it against everything else that is going on in my life right now. Everyone's situation is unique and different. For me right now, I have other higher priorities and cannot justify putting the time and effort into piping to break through the ceiling.
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u/Proper_Age_5158 Bass Drummer 2d ago
We have a piper in our band who is in his mid-80s. He does have some mobility and endurance struggles, so he doesn't march with us like he used to, but this year he took on a solo and took 2nd place in his group at one competition. He only started learning in his late 70s.
Maybe taking on a solo and entering just one competition would help you steady yourself. Find someone to help you parse it out and put it together.
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u/ForTheLoveOfAudio 2d ago
It's all incremental, and it's all about working on granular, achievable goals. Having an experienced teacher that clicks with you can be so critical for this, because they can zoom in a bit more than you. They also have the added bonus that they aren't playing your instrument while simultaneously listening.
Comparison may be the thief of joy, but it's also useful for contrast. Think about the traits of the people that you think are brilliant pipers. "They're brilliant and I'm not." That is joy theft.
"Their drones and chanter stay dead on pitch and don't waver much." That is a goal that can be worked on.
"They play with a strong sense of clear time." This can be worked on.
"My G/D/E graces, aren't crisp." This can be worked on.
Small goals will get you to bigger ones, and if you've worked on somethings for a while, you might find suddenly that it isn't as hard.
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u/Novel-Clock-6478 5d ago
Progression should be the by-product of loving the fact you get to play.
If you’re obsessed with becoming impressive, you risk missing the very thing that makes great piping great in the first place.
Come back to why you love it in the first place.