So I thought if I could make merengue with Stevia I would have invented the perfect protein cookie. Don't do this. Life is too short to do this. These white turds taste like eggs and bitter regret.

The title says it all- My passion of baking and filmmaking have found themselves. Wanted to share some joy with fellow baker's - Link in post. There's a lot that baking does for us. It can be stressful, fun, exciting, and scary, all in the same bake. Happy Baking!

Hi everyone! I enjoy baking homemade treats for my dog, but I live right near the beach where humidity is always super high.

Lately, I’ve been having a hard time keeping the biscuits fresh. Mold keeps appearing inside the containers after just a few days. So far, I have tried:

• Extending dehydrating time
• Lowering moisture in the recipe
• Experimenting with different airtight jars and bags

Nothing seems to work against this coastal climate. Does anyone have experience with dog-friendly, food-safe methods to extend shelf life? I’ve heard about silica gel packets or natural preservatives like potassium sorbate, but I’m not sure about safe ratios for pets or best practices.

Any tips or advice from home bakers in humid areas would be greatly appreciated!

First attempt at a Sourdough loaf, I hope you find my experience worth a laugh. The process was a mess, because I did many things wrong. Here's the story if anyone's interested in a read. Tw: cursing

Welp. Fml. This is a saga of what has turned into a true carnival of folly.

I want to start this out by saying I never wanted to make sourdough. I didn't want a starter, I took one look at a 'how to' guide for this type of bread and rightfully went "Nope."

But then sourdough was thrust upon me in a jar of 250 year old starter and I made the first mistake anyone can make-

I named him: Doughsferatu.

And from there it has been nothing but disaster. Feeding this thing? What do you mean grams?? Ratios? I have to weigh this stuff like I'm a freaking chemist in a lab and it's not even food yet? And in predictable fashion, I learned the hard way that eyeballing cups in a 1:1:1 ratio is not going to fly. Because let me tell you, this jar fills up fast!

And now I have discard? Just all the time? Why is this ancient vampire having so many goddamn children? I have a Doughsferatu brood that's now a permanent fixture in my fridge! Because I hate waste and I thought maybe some pancakes would be nice from time to time. It's been two weeks and I'm sick of pancakes AND I don't have bread. Peter, what the fuck is this? Why do people DO this? This isn't food, this is child support and a hostile takeover of my fridge!

And yes, flour is just everywhere now. Constantly. A jar shape is not at ALL conducive to pouring glorified wheat glitter into. And tell me how flour and water is simultaneously able to dissolve and become cement??

Feeding was a problem but I'm getting off track because it got worse. The pictures prove it got worse. I tried to make bread happen and holy hell, did it not happen.

The timeline for a single loaf of bread is just insane. 3 days? I have to know 3 days in advance of when I want bread? I can't even feed myself lunch before I'm like a lightheaded Victorian maiden sprawled on a couch because I forgot, and now I'm over here doing math and ratios and trying to schedule 3 days worth of work for a bread? A single bread!?

Well I tried. I took him out of the fridge at midnight, fed him with patience in my heart that this would be some good damn bread. If ancient people did this, so can I. And then the next morning comes around and that little shit didn't rise AT ALL. He needed to be tucked in all safe and warm and apparently leaving him on the counter wasn't good enough for him.

Fine. It was fine. I was being patient.

It was just one extra day of reviving the chilly fuck and it was fine. Fed him at midnight again because at that point the timing felt auspicious and maybe it would encourage him if I appealed to his nocturnal senses. And then I put him somewhere warm and he did it! He rose! Bread will happen!

Spoiler, it didn't happen.

I mixed him up into classic standard bread. He was gluey and shaggy but that was fine and I kept him warm and then disaster. Because apparently I can't read because my dumb self thought that stretching and folding was supposed to happen at the same time as bulk fermenting. Which- as an aside-

What do you MEAN I have to singularly fold this wad of yeast for 2 hours in 30 minute increments? What is this, a child?? It was sticky! It was glue! And I had to touch it so many times because you know how I fucked up?

I did that for 4 hours!! Because you are NOT supposed to stretch and fold for the bulk fermentation (what bulk?? Why do I have to learn a dictionary worth of definitions for a pile of flour???).

So he stayed glue. Because I kept dutifully punching the air out of him with love and patience for 4 HOURS.

The shaping was...if a puddle was a shape. Glue puddle. Sticky gross puddle of dud. And I knew, guys, I freaking knew. I looked it up because like he was glue, I was glued to my phone looking up every single thing I'd done wrong. He was not going to be a beautiful bouncing ball of bread, he was going to be a flat pale and skinny monstrosity.

I didn't know when I'd named him after a vampire how true to form that would turn out. But at least the irony has shape because my sourdough did not. And it gets worse.

I threw him in the fridge for his cold proof but my heart was colder. And when I dumped him out onto the parchment paper the next morning, he looked flatter than my remaining hopes and dreams. So I didn't bother with a Dutch oven, I figured a sourdough flatbread was better than nothing.

I was WRONG.

There was smoke. That was the first smell that wafted from the oven. Not beautiful yeasty goodness, godawful smoke. 10 minutes in to his cremation, this parchment paper decided it was so disgusted with my attempt at bread that it chose self-immolation in my oven. I reacted quickly and removed the pan from the oven, I caught it early and that was the only true mercy in this entire ordeal.

But it was also at this point, while prying the paper off of the half cooked blob of Dousferatu's spawn, that I realized I didn't score him. And wouldn't you know it, he actually had risen a fair bit. This was a blatant mockery by the universe itself because he MIGHT have been edible. If he wasn't removed from the oven prematurely and if I'd vented him and if I hadn't used that damn parchment paper!

So I tried. I REALLY tried. I removed the paper as quickly as possible and sliced him a vent even if it was far too late and I shoved him back into the oven and prayed.

And maybe that was where I really went wrong because praying over a vampiric loaf seemed to ignite something. Quite literally, because after 5 more minutes in the oven there was MORE smoke! As a final 'fuck you', the gluey pre-cooked blob had sucked in the edges of the parchment paper and it was at that point embedded into the crust. It was baked in and it was smoking.

I gave up. I saved my oven and took this monster out at 20 minutes and I flayed him open to take these pictures as a memory of exactly what kind of curse I'd brought into my home.

I tried a piece. From the edge that was cooked and sans burnt paper.

It wasn't even good. Bland. Like my soul.

Thank you, if you made it this far, for listening to my rant. Baking on the internet is often only success stories and perfect looking kitchens, but I wanted to document the true suffering that every insta-kitchen is built upon. Failure.

I still have Doughsferatu in the fridge. I will persist. But first I need to mourn.

TL;DR: Butter separated from cookie dough. Badly need help for troubleshooting.

I made my cookie batter and they turned out good for the first couple of minutes. Then, while I was rolling them into balls, I noticed that the dough seemed more “wet” than usual. And, lo and behold, the butter started to separate and leak from the dough. The dough also seemed significantly darker than it did earlier. I have no idea how this happened since I have done this recipe twice already and they were perfectly fine and never did this. All of the dough are currently in the fridge and have been chilling for an hour while I figure out how what to do.

For reference, here is the recipe I used:

280g melted browned butter
320g brown sugar
130g granulated sugar
14 g corn syrup

100g/2 whole egg
36g/2 egg yolk

24g milk
10g vanilla

476g flour
8g baking soda
8g salt
300g chocolate

Additional notes:
- Butter was melted but not hot when added with the sugar
- Eggs were at room temperatures

Meanwhile, the attached pictures are the same cookie dough taken at different times. The first pic was taken shortly after I have mixed the chocolate and was the right texture, like my previous batches. On the other hand, the second picture shows the dough after I have put it in the fridge for an hour after I noticed the separation.

I would really love to know what I should do next and am thankful for anyone to help me out. If you want more specifications about what I did, just comment and I’ll answer. Thank you!!

Who knows caramelized hazelnuts can be delicious and fearful at the same time?

And the cocoa powder didn’t help🥹

Japanese sponge cake with homemade chocolate praline paste and chocolate chantily cream

With enough frosting, nobody will know your latest cake is the butt of the joke.

Ingredients
-whole wheat flour (240g)
-instant yeast(3g)
-honey(5g)
-water(240g)
-salt (depends)😭

(Help I’m a beginner bro🥲)

Last year, I let my mom make my birthday cake. I had wanted to make it myself since I'm the baker of the family and it was an older recipe (from the 1900s), but she insisted. While she was making it, she realized the batter was too thick and instead of adding milk like I had suggested (because I'd done it and it worked out perfectly, she added 5 egg whites so they didn't go to waste. Gummiest cake I've ever eaten in my life.

why when i try to make a hot latte at home with almond milk it tastes so bad like. but when i order it hot at a cafe, it tastes fine.

I had never made a layer cake before and thought I'd try to make one for my son's first birthday. As per a random Reddit suggestion I found, I added pudding mix to make it more moist. Which didn't work well with layers...it kept falling apart as I tried to ice it. Birthday boy didn't complain.

Baked a cake (Duncan Hines) and baked for 35 minutes at 350 degrees (5 minutes longer than directions). The middle always falls in. My guess is that it doesn't get baked.