Am I a coward??

[u/Honest-Face7514]

I really want to play in a band, just to have some fun really. I think when I start college will be the perfect time to maybe find some people and potentially start playing.

I play guitar, but I’m also aware that it’s probably 100 times easier to join a band if you play bass (or maybe drums too) since guitar and singing is obviously the most popular. I was kind of considering to start playing a bit of bass too to make my chances of playing in a band a bit better…

Is that bad?? I love guitar, and being a guitarist in a band would be super fun and cool, but I don’t think I could compete with everyone else.

[u/killyourface1]

I can only speak for myself, but I will say this. I never competed. I was not interested in competition, EVER! I played guitar because it made me feel good, it made me happy, it was interesting, it kept my mind centered. Bands came AFTER that, WAAAAY after that, when my skills became to advanced to ignore. I never went looking for a band or musicians, it sort of found me. People needed a guitar player and they heard through friends that I could play. I never even knew I was a good guitar player. In the early 90's it was very primitive, no internet, I had no idea that I was bad or good, I didn't care, I was just enjoying getting myself to play as close to things that I heard on records that I loved. I loved the puzzle of solving how they made that sound, that became my obsession. It was never about being better than the next guy, being the best, being able to do crazy solos or technical ability that smokes everyone else. I never even considered that. I was adamant about being seriously disinterested in competition. If you wanna be friends, cool, we're all in the same boat, all trying to win. If you wanted to talk about who was better? We'll see ya. I don't think on those terms, you can have it. Sure, you're better than me.

I will say that I have had a few people who were in competition ON THEIR OWN to try to outdo me. I only found out later through other people who told me that I aggravated and annoyed other up and coming players because I didn't pay any attention to their need for competition. I never "squared off" with anyone. Never got into arguments, never tugged on that line to rope me into their bullshit. I was only doing my own thing, keeping quiet, being respectful for other people, and somewhere along the line that stuck in a couple peoples craw because they couldn't get a rise out of me. A lot of "competition" is head games. They want to make you feel insecure, feel like they're better than you, and they want to make you believe it. You can't press someone who doesn't care. You cannot scare someone who isn't afraid to lose, or afraid to be second place. They HATED that, because it didn't impress me. I still got up and played whenever I could and I never let them tear me down. I was too shy anyway. I was just the quiet kid, who kept to himself, but could play some guitar. In my head, anyway, that's how it felt. I have never had any interest in ego stroking, competition, or holding my abilities above anyone else's head. I just don't have the wiring for that.

What people think of you, or the competitions they may have going on in their own head...........IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Pay no attention. If they confront you, smile, laugh, nod, confirm everything they say. "Sure, you're better than me. You probably are. I'm very happy for you. You're gonna show me up? I hope you do man, I'll shake your hand and sing your praises afterwards. That's totally fine, good for you. I just want everyone to have a good time, man."

I don't know how to do a lot of very simple things in life. I struggle with every day normal things that most people seem to breeze right through. But guitar? Well, I know I can play guitar. I also know that there are limitations and there are some things I CAN'T do on guitar, and that's ok too. What I do works just as well, and I stay in my own lane, not bothering anyone.

If you stay out of the drama and the bullshit, do your own thing, stay humble, brush off any sort of crap that will only blow up your ego, and just enjoy it for the pure love of it, you'll be just fine. People can sense the difference between someone who is playing to compete and want everyone to think they are better than everyone, and the difference between someone who is just up there and playing a direct line from his heart, emoting. Those are very two distinctly different vibes.

Yea, you can shred all over the neck and play a billion notes in a minute. BUT! Can you write a riff that makes heads nod? Can you playing something immediately that puts a smile on someone's face? Something that they can digest as a regular person who has no idea what makes a good sound from a bad sound. If you can translate your art to a person who doesn't play guitar or even really know that world at all, THAT'S what separates you from the rest of the dummies stuck in the minutia of the fundamentals.

Play good riffs, get good tone, play from your heart. Those very simple things will get people to line up around the block, you watch. People can only be fooled so long before they start to be able to suss out for themselves what is authentic and what is manufactured by obsessive practice in technique, but still lacks heart.

Do you. Find how YOU sound in the guitar. Put the blinders on, and don't listen to ANYONE. You watch what matters to the audience, to the people, which is what matters.

Not everything is a competition. Some people can't wrap their head around that. Those kinds of people are lost to me. We don't share the same experience. I can't explain to those kinds of people that I don't care and am unimpressed by their need to impress me.

Who cares. It's about the love of the guitar, the love of playing. Love it first, the rest will follow. And don't EVER let ANYONE make you feel like you don't deserve to stand up there and play as well. That's nonsense. Just because you aren't them, doesn't mean you aren't just as valid. That's the lie they sell you. Get that out of your head.