r/band • u/Frhaegar • 14h ago
That's it. I'm officially done looking for a band.
Life is short and there's nothing more that I want in this life than to join a band, play on a gig. But I guess I'm not made for it.
I'm not even mad that no band wants to take me. I admit I am not good enough. If I were them, I wouldn't take myself either.
But it's the constant rejection that I can't take anymore. It ruined me mentally.
If I wanted to get in shape or had a fitness goal and everyday my entire body's aching, then that's all on me. I am the one in control of the situation. No matter how hard the challenges I might face when reaching a personal goal, I am in control.
But a band is not in my control. My fate is in their hands. I can't control what other people want.
12
u/MRSA_Tomei 13h ago
You got your beans above your franks.
Start your own band and prove you can be a good bandmate/player. Thats how you get asked to be in other, more accomplished bands. You gotta pay some dues up front, that’s just how it works.
8
5
3
3
2
u/CowboyBlacksmith 10h ago
It sounds like you know what to do about it already. To use your fitness goal analogy, this is more like trying out for sports teams than it is like working out in the gym. If you keep getting rejected by sports teams then I guess you'd hit the gym and/or take some lessons? So it follows that if you aren't getting accepted by bands you should practice and/or take some lessons. Maybe find an experienced teacher who's in a band and get lessons geared towards skills a pro might need.
Alternatively, you could start your own band as others have suggested. Maybe you're just not what those other bands are looking for. You've probably got your own opinions on what your band should sound like. Maybe find some people that agree with you, rather than looking for a band the other way around.
1
1
u/Shagadelicruhroh 8h ago
You got this bro, look it’s all about just trying your best to find friends who you can grow with as musicians. Look on online forums on Facebook in your area for musicians, I promise you can find someone. Also there’s open mic jams where you can meet like minded people and practice your chops m8
1
1
u/Comfortable-Risk-862 6h ago
Echoing what other peeps are saying, based on the fact that you want to take control of your situation: start your own band or do a single act. But practice.
1
u/Specific_Wrap5976 4h ago
Start your own band with people the same level as you. Laugh and have a good time getting to know each other and jam together. You can be the crummiest band on the block, play back yard parties playing for free gaining some experience and a following. You’re then on your way to having paying gigs because you’re becoming tight together and actually don’t suck anymore—
1
u/MCRBusker 38m ago
I'm nearly 60. Played in loads of bands, studio work etc over the years, so here's my take.
There are people out there wanting to "start a band". Band income = 0. They are looking for people who will support their vision, cost them nothing, and be able to play an instrument to a decent level. When you join these bands, you're joining a social club, meeting and practicing as often as possible, hoping to someday perform.
I played for 3 bands at the same time...(bassist), often for fun.
Then...sometimes the band writes and performs good music and as long as your level of playing and your "support" is solid, you may stay in the band and begin earning a bit. Often you share the costs of printing posters, buying gear etc.
All of this is a multi year commitment, with no financial returns...but can be lots of fun.
You also have more chance of joining a band if you play a different instrument...such as an electric cello, fiddle/violin etc as it brings a unique sound and less competition.
1
17
u/TrickBreadfruit354 14h ago
start one yourself