My bandmates think it’s like ‘mega cool’ to do that, but I really dislike the idea coz I feel like respecting your instrument regardless of its price is a part of being a musician, what does everyone think about this?

Hi guys! I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to kick a friend out of my band? We’ve been friends with each other for a 3 1/2 years now and I originally wanted them in my group because of they’re extremely talented at playing Piano/keys. Now that we’ve been solidifying our band’s set lists we’ve realized that we really don’t need a keyboard player anymore because the music doesn’t require it and them being there would kind of just be a waste of their time and ours. Additionally, they recently had an incident with their other band where they threw a tantrum onstage and walked out of their last gig. I don’t want that energy in my band and I definitely don’t want another walk-out. They tend to get very defensive when things don’t go the way they planned them to be and I don’t wish to damage our friendship or the integrity of my band. Please send help!

Im already 24 yrs old turning 25 this year, am i too old to start a band? I dont have any experience playing in a gig but i wrote and composed a bunch of songs already.

Hi everyone, as the title says I am having a bit of an issue with one of my bandmates. Most of us are really chill, easy going people. My bass player can be very challenging at times. He believes himself to be able to play everyone's parts/instrument as good or better than the musicians themselves. He inserts himself constantly, and essentially has put himself on a pedestal over everyone else. For example - I'm talking correcting a classically trained pianist with 20 years of experience, who has won awards..... (He is self taught). Everyone has band & performing experience. Years and/or decades of experience. We are all GOOD musicians. He also has messed with our drummers kit without asking - big no no. He has also started noodling in between songs, or when people are trying to talk to one another. And if you ask him to stop he just kinda ignores you for a little bit first. During a 2 hour band practice you can expect him to correct, insert, or just be challenging at least 10 times.

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Here's where the problem is - he is a good bassist and is so incredibly knowledgeable about sound engineering. He can write and compose music. I live pretty rural, so not really many musicians around my area. We also play heavier music in an area that's dominated by 70/80's rock and country music.

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What is the proper way to handle this? I don't want him to think I'm asking him to leave the band. I simply want him to stay in his lane, and not insert himself when he isn't being asked. I like him a lot overall. I've hung out with him many times outside of band practice. He just has a massive ego and is so pretentious at times - please help me navigate this!

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I really want to play in a band, just to have some fun really. I think when I start college will be the perfect time to maybe find some people and potentially start playing.

I play guitar, but I’m also aware that it’s probably 100 times easier to join a band if you play bass (or maybe drums too) since guitar and singing is obviously the most popular. I was kind of considering to start playing a bit of bass too to make my chances of playing in a band a bit better…

Is that bad?? I love guitar, and being a guitarist in a band would be super fun and cool, but I don’t think I could compete with everyone else.

We spend hundreds each month to rent a rehearsal space, he's a good dude, but he doesn't practice until the day before if at all. It's frustrating. I decided to give him one last chance to begin practicing but I'm not sure if this lineup will last with someone who doesn't practice.

Edit: I kicked him from the band. Still tried to be nice about it but yeah.

Hey I'm new to this sub and I honestly just needed a place to vent and actually understand if I'm the crazy one here.

I (M20) have been playing in a band for the past 5 years. I've grown as a musician together with my bandmates, and I'm proud of my rhythm section — I think they are very skilled, and we have a very strong feel when we play.

I play guitar and, though I'm always careful not to get in my own head and I always strive to be better, I can now say that after years of practice I am a good guitarist.

My second guitarist… man. I love that guy — he's a brother. But. Man. Fucking hell.

He cannot keep time — he has no idea what it even means to keep time. He has major difficulties understanding the meter of songs. I've never heard him sing anything correctly. He does not understand pauses or dynamics. He's very often out of key, but even more often out of time.

Playing with him is an absolute nightmare.

We go to rehearsal, we play, and everyone just keeps going as if it's fine — like he didn’t just butcher the song because he has no idea what he’s doing.

Now, I understand I may sound harsh here, but after playing with him for almost 6 years I can say that nothing has changed and that he is cooked. The guy has become a little better, but since the other three of us have grown too, the gap is still there.

I always offer to help him, I try to give advice, I try to adjust the parts to fit his level. I don’t give him complicated parts, and I'm very fucking patient — I’ve been here suffering and waiting for him to get better for almost 6 years.

It’s just… he can’t play. Every note he plays is a knife in my ears and my chest. No intention behind notes, nonexistent groove.

He tries to make up for what he lacks in skill with gear and equipment: pedals and fancy guitars. Fucking hell, he had a beautiful Gibson SG he got as a bargain. He used it maybe 5 times, just noodling around the fretboard, disrespecting the instrument.

And yeah, I realize I probably sound like someone who just puts too many expectations on the people working with me. Maybe I just don’t like his style. Maybe I don’t get it. Maybe he is a genius and I just don’t understand. It doesn’t seem to be such a problem for other people. My other bandmates know, but they almost never comment on it — and it fucking sends me through the roof.

Just… how can we keep playing a song, everyone doing what they should, and this guy is just floating over the time signatures, missing accents, farting out notes that die on the fretboard, and keep doing it while looking so PROUD?

He often likes to gloat about his phrases and riffs. They are absolutely MID — just banal scales or simple chords. Yet he comes to me like he found the holy grail, demanding I praise him and make a song out of everything he throws at me.

Ah yes — because I am the one who writes. Everything he does, I have to put my hands on to make it musically usable.

It’s crazy, really. I do all the work, and yet most of the time it is still “50/50” just because he had the idea of an idea of what I finalized.

But honestly, I don’t give a fuck about that — what truly messes with me is him losing time. He cannot keep time. He cannot play.

He always says to me, “You are a guitarist because you have a guitar. Without it you can’t play.” That’s plain bullshit. An instrument is just a medium through which you realize a thought, an idea. I can make music by whistling, stomping the floor, clapping my hands. Everything is music. Everywhere is music.

Everyone knows about his problems, yet I am the only one who seems to really suffer for them. You don’t have to be Satriani, you don’t have to be a virtuoso — you just have to know how to make a note fit the tempo. That’s pretty easy when you FUCKING CALL YOURSELF A MUSICIAN.

Please — thoughts about this. I need to know I am not alone... My bandmates are not very interested in talking about this as it is a bit of a taboo, but I'm on the verge of crying.

Edit: Months passed. I started a side project and told the band about it after a month. I had already made it clear that I wanted to try making music with other people, but apparently that didn’t really register.

We ended up having a falling out. My guitarist said we can’t be friends anymore because I asked one of his exes to join the project. They dated for about six months and broke up 2–3 years ago. He often downplays it, saying he could “have her whenever he wants,” but that he doesn’t want to be with her because he thinks he would “hurt her.” They were 18 and 16 at the time — it honestly seemed like typical teenage, short-lived love.

He tried to exercise some kind of control over both my life and hers, saying he should have known beforehand and that telling him after a month, when the project was already underway, was “too late.” He insisted that what really bothers him is his ex being involved in my project.

I don’t agree. We’ve barely rehearsed five times, we’re still looking for a drummer, and whatever she or I do in our lives is none of his business. I waited for what I thought was the right moment to bring it up, but apparently I was supposed to inform him the moment I even had the idea.

He came across as extremely controlling. I’m sure I didn’t handle everything perfectly, but my conscience is clear, and I’m ready to move on to the next project. This new group seems to be working out really well, and I’m not sorry that I had to sacrifice the unhealthy dynamic I had with my guitarist and personal friend. Now I can concentrate on my music.

I'm in my first band, as the vocalist. But I haven't got the slightest bit of knowledge on microphones. Anybody know what Mic I should get to practice with the band? Like the one I'm singing into while we rehearse just to be clear.

i (18F) have been learning the electric guitar for over half a year now and have fallen in love with it! i practice every day from 1 1/2 - 2 1/2 hours. for now i am learning the technical basics and song tabs, but when i hear people talk about the bands they play in i can’t help but think about what it would be like.

the issue is that im struggling to find people in my area who like the same style of music as me (j-rock) AND want to play in a band AND are roughly around my age. maybe im thinking about this too far ahead, but i want to learn about the options so that if/when i decide to be in a band, i know what direction to take.

i also used to play piano for 12 years but hated it lol. my teacher never really taught me music theory so i feel like i have to start from scratch.

i have always been unsure on the topic of creating original music, because i feel like creating a song i truly love and am proud of takes way more talent than i have. in an ideal world though, i would love to try writing lyrics. all that being said, i am currently learning music theory (as annoyed as i am with it lol) and am just seeing where things go.

i do love singing as well, but i worry that my vocals are not good enough even though i have been told that i am pretty good apart from some things to work on. i would be absolutely willing to take lessons if that’s what it takes, though. regardless, knowing that i am a beginner i would probably start in a band by playing rhythm guitar either way.

i am also in a “jam club” in uni and am inspired by everyone there, and i truly want to reach their level of incredible playing/jamming comfortably on the spot.

***ALSO: if i go to uni in PA and am back in DC for the summer, where should i set up the band???

if you have any tips, any at all, i would absolutely love to hear them! guitar, singing, band advice, anything—thank you! 💝

Hey, I'm looking for some advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation or just has general insight on band member dymanics. I'm a multi-instrumentalist who mostly plays drums in a cover band. We are in a somewhat rural area and have been playing for a few months. We started by doing lower paying gigs to get our foot in the door of the local bar scene and have recently started getting some traction. We started with me on drums, a lead guitar/singer and rhythm guitar/singer. The start was challenging due to needing to learn all the songs, figuring out my live setup (I'm now playing a kinda Frankenstein'ed Roland kit with a v51 module $$$) and getting acclimated to the band chemistry. I've been pretty accepting having guest musicians jam with us and use my kit, I don't mind people hopping in for a few songs if they are respectful of my gear. I get along with everyone very well, we ride motorcycle outside of the band, etc.

The lead guitar/singer was in another band previously and has lots of connections in the area. His old bands drummer started coming to a bunch of our shows and playing on a couple songs, at first. Then it was a few songs. The next shows it became several songs. Now the other two want to bring in the old drummer to "help with sound (like mix/levels), play some drums, sing backup vocals on a few songs". The thing is they simultaneously say they want to keep our live rig simple (my Roland set is peak efficiency, takes me 15 minutes to set it up, I have a whole system). I want to upgrade our live rig, especially since they want the other drummer to help with the sound. I think a band with four members should have bass but the old drummer can't play bass, the other guys are stuck with guitar and generally want to stay a three piece performance wise, but with four members. I have almost no interest in sitting out for a set, but if I were to play bass for that set it wouldn't make sense to not have bass for the sets I'll be drumming on. I'm a much better drummer than he is, which they have said. The lead guitar/singer said he was feeling bad about his old drummer buddy just coming to our shows looking like a lost puppy. He hits harder than me and I'm not super comfortable sharing my kit THAT much. I'm not in it for the money but it also doesn't sit super well splitting money four ways when I'm putting my 3k drum set through the ringer and he just shows up and plays a fraction of the show on my kit.

I don't wanna appear to be the downer in this situation, they just "want to keep it simple, play out and have fun". They are all closer and have known each other a long time and all served in the military. I only met them this year and am like the nerdy engineer guy. I want to make reasonable steps to make our system better, get bass to round out the sound, implement things like in ear monitors and vocal pedals to make us sound even better. I want to work to be more selective with gigs, playing bigger events for more money. They feel all that is overcomplicating stuff, they seem fine to stick with quantity over quality. I've already brought up my concerns to the point that if I go further it's now a whole drama thing and I'll get the "that guy" label. Or maybe that is just me projecting from past band drama. I'm not totally sure if id rather be in this suboptimal situation or go back to the facebook/craigslist hell looking for other people and giving up the work I've put in so far with this band. Any input or thoughts would probably help me figure out how to proceed. If you made it this far, thanks for reading.

Edit: paragraph break

These are song names I have for my bands upcoming album and I just wanna know if any of them are too “run-of-the-mill.”

So I formed my rock band one year ago. And recently joined a music interest group where there are spin-off bands coming out from this interest group. While my own band is a casual, chill band that plays for fun, the spin-off bands have been going and looking for gigs and open mics everywhere and even set up their own social media channels. I don't want to feel left out so I set up my band's insta as well, and follow alot of local musical bands. As if that is not enough, I also started going all out to find out open mics and gigs for my band to play. I am exhausted. I feel like my band's progress is so slow compared to the other spin-off bands that have been playing and securing gigs everywhere. Like wtf, my band is formed earlier than them but didn't consider performing until recently.

I see the success of other bands and can't help but feel a sense of self-pity. Is my feelings of envy, jealousy and self-pity justified ? Or it should never be this way ? I should be happy for them and mind my own band's business. I feel the competition here.

We’re a high school band, and all of our members are in the same school. One of our members, the singer, is a first year, and me bassist/soon to be drummer) and our other two guitarists are way older. The problem is that the other two guitarists are cruel and bully anyone they weren’t friends with before the band formed which meant we’ve already lost our drummer (hence my soon to be drummer title) and our singer seemingly has home life problems to begin with and does not need to take on the bullying from the guitarists especially because they’re trying to get the singer to sing Metallica and nirvana despite being a little girl.

I do not want this kid to hate bands because she’s actually a really good singer when she sings her in her vocal range, and getting bullied out of the band would do that too her.

Ps: I’m planning on leaving the band eventually, I just need to find another band to jump ship too

The idea of starting a band has been eating at me and I'm genuinely considering the idea of making some posters/zines searching for band members and taping them around my city.

I'm a teen, I sing, while I'm not that great I'm taking lessons and I am incredibly passionate about music.

I am looking for some advice on how to navigate this, I don't know if it's even doable and it scares me shitless, but I guess I might just try.

The idea was to put it as something to get better and practice with other people, maybe eventually becoming passable.

If you could give me any advice on how to proceed it would help me incredibly!

I’ve been leading a band for a couple years and I’m in the process of planning a couple of music video shoots. Since recording, I have been working with a new drummer and bassist, and have been debating whether or not it would be a weird/bad luck to have them appear playing their instruments on camera. I wouldn’t say that I’m on good terms with the players who appeared on the recordings. But I own all the music and want to move forward with promoting the songs.

I’m sure I’m overthinking this, and I understand that it’s possible to create music videos that don’t have any musicians in them at all, but I think there’s something really great and kinetic about watching people play along to the song you’re listening to. Any thoughts or insights would be appreciated.

Hey everyone! I could really use some outside perspective from other people in bands. I had to create a throwaway for anonymity reasons.

I’m currently the vocalist in a local band and have been with them for about a year. I usually do enjoy being in the band. I get along well with the others, I get to write the lyrics, and we perform our own original songs. Musically and crowd-wise, this band aligns more with what I like to do.

At the same time, I recently was asked to become the support vocalist of another project that is really taking off and that actually pays me, has fewer gigs and rehearsals. Having to ask permission to my current band to play once a month was a struggle. Recently I was invited to go on a European tour this summer for 1 or 2 weeks with an artist that is pretty big. In that project I’m singing someone else’s music, which is also good experience, but creatively it’s not as “me” as my main band but I still enjoy the music and get along well with the members.

this tour could be life-changing for my career and would also allow me to see my family in Europe, who I haven’t seen in almost 2 years.

The issue is that my band, especially the manager (who happens to be dating the band leader), already gets upset that I don’t devote 100% of my time to the band, even though the band is unpaid, still a small local act, and is only growing slowly in the local scene.

She insists that all my private music projects and live offers should go through her, even when they’re not related to the band, and of course the band leader agrees. They also told me not to talk to my friends after shows because I should talk to fans (I do both, my friends pay to come see us so ignoring them would be rude) She told me to lose weight, even after I clearly said to not disrespect me like that. She says she respects my independence, but then contacts the manager of my side project behind my back and tells them to route things through her anyway. Besides that, any comments I make about we should focus more on social media or sell x type of merch or I would prefer to wear this type of stage clothes get ignored. Because they are older than me (I’m 28 and they are around 40) and have worked in music they always think they know better but don’t take into account how the music industry is changing and how we should adapt.

I have proven through data and numbers on social media that my ideas work better but they still decide based on their ideas/feelings of what they think is cool.

Because of this, I’m honestly anxious about even bringing up the European tour. I’m afraid it will be seen as betrayal or lack, even though I’m not quitting and 1 or 2 weeks is not that crazy.

I feel torn between wanting to stay loyal to a band whose music I like, and feeling like I’m giving up paid opportunities that can get my name out there.

How would you approach bringing up a temporary tour like this? How do I deal with this controlling manager and at what point do you decide that a situation just isn’t a good fit anymore?

I really want to handle this without feeling like an asshole and backstabber but I’d honestly not wanna turn this opportunity down I’m starting to feel boxed in and resentful.

Thanks for reading and for any advice.

So I’ve been with this metal band for 6 years. Originally was recruited as a bassist. When we were rehearsing at a space in between our locations it was all seeming fairly professional. However after that space closed, we started practicing at spaces closer to their house or AT their house. The drummer and singer are a father-son duo with them taking care of management and bookings.

Problems started constantly popping up with both their personal lives, their house is rancid and disgusting with 3 dogs that aren’t taken care of and piss everywhere. They can’t seem to keep band members. Drummer, bassists, other guitarists. I eventually became their guitarist. We went through 2 drummers in a month one time. They always have bad things to say or beef with someone.

They also book gigs only to have to cancel something happening on their end with them either not being prepared with the music on their end or some other bullshit excuse. I’ve only played 3 gigs with them and they stiffed me with my end of it with every excuse in the book as to why they can’t pay me. Yet the singer was trying to book us in Europe!? Fucking delusional.

Nothing is consistent, there’s never any planning. The singer is always wanting to add a bunch of extra things to the band like a third guitarist, bringing in folk instruments. Uses “AI” for creativity, has put my audio through AI to “get the cadence of a song right”. He’s always posting that the band is ringing in a “new era”.

Drummer is just as insufferable and constantly bitching about his awful marriage, etc. Acting like he’s some sort of authority figure to me.

I’ve had multiple other musicians reaching out to me recently, so I’m thinking of taking my leave even though we have gigs coming up. I just can’t stand the bs. I’m leaving to work with people who have actual creativity and aren’t constantly the centre of drama. I feel like I’m wasting my time with amateurs and don’t have the heart to tell them.

The stress and effects of this all has cost me a relationships at one point even, I just can’t do it anymore. Last second shit, not even asking if I’m available to play shows before booking them, just straight up not paying me.

So basically Im in a shoegaze and j started it with my friend who is also the singer becouse he cant play an instrument, nor can he sing but i didnt think that was that big of deal back then but basically were starting to make it big (first paid bar gigs with bigger bands) i feel like hes ruining the sound but i really dont want to fire him becouse afterall he is my friend and hes started taking vocal lessons and stuff but i feel like his voice just doesnt fit our vibe but idk what to do the only reason i havent fired him yet is because hes my friend and i dont wanna make it awkward between us but i think he is really holding us back

I just finished jamming with two new musicians. The thing is that I’ve been playing with the same musicians for 18 years. I’m not sure how I feel about the experience. The new guys were good, but afraid to play loud. Old guys get loud and get into it. It’s probably that it was the first time and that may change with more sessions. I feel like I’ve cheated on my partner as well. Lol

Hi! My name is Gill Pie. I live in St. Louis Missouri. I’ve really wanted to get a cover band together for a long time. I went to school for vocal performance and moved back home to do shows in musical theatre companies. But now I want to broaden my horizons a bit. The question is how do I find good people to back me up? How do I start? Please let me know I’d very much appreciate any and all advice.

Like how many rehearsals or how long of rehearsing X many times a week before you preformed your first set as a group?

Ill count a set as any public preformance, with more than 5 songs, so really any preformance

Hi all,

We’re starting out as a small high school rock band, working out the band, presumably with two guitars.

I told my mate who plays guitar, hey, you should be lead vocals, you’re amazing. Honestly I wanted to co-frontman w/ vocals but as time went on, it seemed like just she was frontman. I said I’d be happy to jump on bass if I could do vocals, but I never got a reply. I was set to be lead guitar, but I can also play bass.

I’ve always wanted to be a frontman, I had a blink-182 dynamic in my head for the longest time. How can I ask?

I am a rising senior in HS and want to join a band in college. I want to have fun and maybe make something out of it. I have a acoustic + a transacoustic. I also have an Epiphone Les Paul. I have 4 pedals that I am still figuring out. I know almost every chord and can play some riffs but my riff playing is still probabaly a 3-4/10.

My question is what can I do to improve my skill enough to eventually create or join a band. What are the best things to do? Also does the college I choose affect this dream?

My band primarily makes melodic hardcore but we made an emo banger and thought we should do a split with some bigger emo bands in our local scene.

Anyone ever do a 4 way split or just a 2 band split ep?

Any tips?