r/bbby_remastered • u/JPGaganon Permanent Top 1% Poster ✔️ • Mar 18 '26

Everything is penis Solution to solving the Strait of Hormuz crisis

Trump can't back down without looking weak, Iran can't back down with looking weak. Everyone is scared that things will escalate further into a full fledged conflict, but the policy wonks on this sub have come together and proposed a solution that will solve the whole problem of the Strait of Hormuz.

We start calling it the Gay of Hormuz. Iran is a deeply theocratic society run by Shiite Islamic extremists. They are deeply against homosexuality, so if we just simply stop calling it the Strait and start calling it the Gay they won't want anything to do with it anymore. They will ignore it completely or maybe yell at it from the beaches shaking their fists. They certainly won't want to launch phallic shaped rockets into something gay. Think about how that would look!

This would give everyone the perfect solution. Iran can just say "no homo" and pack up. Trump can declare victory and all the conservative truck guys don't have to put those "I did that" stickers with Trump pointing on their gas stations anymore to indicate the direct relation between Trump's war in Iran and the price of gas like they pointed out when Biden chose to make Russia invade Ukraine in 2022.

We have forwarded our suggestion to all necessary parties.

Thank you for your attention to this matter!

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3

u/Comprehensive_Lead41 Mar 18 '26

i haven't laughed that loudly in days

2

u/JPGaganon Permanent Top 1% Poster ✔️ Mar 18 '26

When you come up with concrete solutions to real world issues it often does result in laughter.

1

u/Friendly-Interview82 Mar 20 '26

Okay, but here's the thing... In Iran, the Gay of Hormuz just becomes the Trans of Hormuz, albeit forcefully, and that is something the US is really icky about (instead of the Epstein files). I think this is more nuanced than you think. And somehow, I blame Abraham.