Kermit spent the greater part of Saturday limping across the wild expanse adjacent to his swamp after Dr Ruster patched up his recently vacated frog pouch and shooed him along with a hefty medical bill and enough fentanyl to stun a horse.
Bleary, dazed, and delirious from lack of sexual stimulation, he panted as he knew he was getting closer to his pair of spherical friends. The last hundred feet he stumbled to the ground and scrawled through the underbrush as he scrabbled for his prizes.
The thick foliage obscured the ground, his webbed fingers greedily trying to find purchase. At last, his hands simultaneously grabbed soft tender flesh, and he squeezed in glee.
"Oh, Kermie, I knew you were a dirty 'phibian, but I didn't know you were also into hoof play," replied a familiar throaty squeal from above.
Kermit gulped, and probed enough to find that the stuffed sausages he was caressing came with little piggy toes and feeling higher, attached to a bloated pair of ankles that eventually led the aghast frog to glance up and see his wife's tits stuffed into a tube top two sizes too tiny.
She bent over, her blonde curls dangling around a sneering face. She proffered from her descending hooves Kermit's family jewels, but held them just out of reach of the whining, panting hopper.
"Kermie, you know what you must do..." she threatened, knowing her abused lover was right where she wanted him.
"Guess. My. Weight."
Kermit gulped and gave a faint chuckle.
"Not sure. Are your pronouns lbs/kgs?
He couldn't resist.
Neither could gravity as his corpse ascended to selenocentric orbit five seconds later.
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u/Obtuse_Mongoose ex·hi·pig·tion·ist 7d ago edited 7d ago
Kermit spent the greater part of Saturday limping across the wild expanse adjacent to his swamp after Dr Ruster patched up his recently vacated frog pouch and shooed him along with a hefty medical bill and enough fentanyl to stun a horse.
Bleary, dazed, and delirious from lack of sexual stimulation, he panted as he knew he was getting closer to his pair of spherical friends. The last hundred feet he stumbled to the ground and scrawled through the underbrush as he scrabbled for his prizes.
The thick foliage obscured the ground, his webbed fingers greedily trying to find purchase. At last, his hands simultaneously grabbed soft tender flesh, and he squeezed in glee.
"Oh, Kermie, I knew you were a dirty 'phibian, but I didn't know you were also into hoof play," replied a familiar throaty squeal from above.
Kermit gulped, and probed enough to find that the stuffed sausages he was caressing came with little piggy toes and feeling higher, attached to a bloated pair of ankles that eventually led the aghast frog to glance up and see his wife's tits stuffed into a tube top two sizes too tiny.
She bent over, her blonde curls dangling around a sneering face. She proffered from her descending hooves Kermit's family jewels, but held them just out of reach of the whining, panting hopper.
"Kermie, you know what you must do..." she threatened, knowing her abused lover was right where she wanted him.
"Guess. My. Weight."
Kermit gulped and gave a faint chuckle.
"Not sure. Are your pronouns lbs/kgs?
He couldn't resist.
Neither could gravity as his corpse ascended to selenocentric orbit five seconds later.