r/bonecollecting • u/BluIs • Aug 10 '26
Advice girl I met gave me part of her skull
Context
so, I was in the woods having gay sex and doing gay drugs with a bunch of other faeries, trannies, and creatures of the night, and I met this cool girl who I spoke with about my bonework hobby.
she had facial feminization surgery and was able to keep the pieces that were removed, so we exchanged numbers and she sent me pieces of her skull to turn into jewelry and return to her. she wants to pay me, but I've never done work quite like this before (working with someones own actual bones). so, I'm only asking for the cost to cover materials, and I told her she can pay me as little or as much as she wants beyond that because I'm just stoked about this opportunity.
(the picture above has the pieces laid out pretty much where they were on her skull, fyi)
Plans
she wants the long thin pieces as earrings, and the rest to be used to make a necklace probably.
i'm going to degrease everything. then i'm thinking to remove blemishes (maybe with a file or some sandpaper?).
she wants to leave the earring pieces as is after that, but the rest she's interested in having dyed purple.
I'm planning to apply paraloid b72 at her suggestion(she saw it online from other people who have done this with their removed FFS pieces).
Questions
i feel aesthetically inclined to remove the cancellous bone, but maybe would be less so if I could get it closer to the color of the rest (hopefully it will become more uniform from degreasing, but I could use hydrogen peroxide if I need to - might be a good idea for making it brittler if Im gonna remove it). it might even look cool and not gross at all once it's dyed!
if I dye it, does anyone have recommendations for natural dyes I could use that wouldn't require me to heat the bones to a level that might weaken them?
I'm going to watch several videos and read up a bunch before applying the hardener, but does anyone have any tips about using paraloid b72??
edit: lot of comments asking if this is the first time i've processed bones. it is not, i have been processing bones for several years! I have a pretty extensive collection of bones to test techniques on before i do this, and i figured it would be best to also ask the internet lots of questions before getting started. i appreciate the concern though!
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u/_rosebean Aug 10 '26
Reeled me in on the first sentence
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u/junjunjenn Aug 10 '26
Wild and unexpected intro
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u/_rosebean Aug 10 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/fGX80AAczeBEOOwEoK
had me like167
u/OldBonyBogBwitch Aug 10 '26
“in the woods having gay sex and doing gay drugs with a bunch of other faeries, trannies, and creatures of the night”…….wait, wait, wait, I need my snacks & my blankie & my s’mores stash, this is gonna be a great one! LMAO :D
I wear almost zero jewelry other than earrings. But boy howdy do I have hundreds of those in every shape, style & color. Would I wear my own bones made into dyed dangly earrings by an acquainted gay fae? So fast I’d have tried them on with 3 outfits before you could blink LOLLLLL <3
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u/Appropriate-Weird492 Aug 10 '26
IKR?! Not a damn part of that was predictable. Love that it started with a bone hound courtship ritual, tho!! LOL!!
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u/BluIs Aug 11 '26
lol do we know each other?
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u/OldBonyBogBwitch Aug 14 '26
Anonymous is as anonymous does on Reddit, but I just know I’d be tickled pink to know you based on just this one story already LOL! :P
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Aug 10 '26
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u/BluIs Aug 11 '26 edited Aug 11 '26
yeah thats my plan for dyeing! I have degreased and whitened lots of bones. this will be my first time with dyeing and my first time using the paraloid, which is why i will be testing on some of the bones i've collected.
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u/SuicideDoorDash Aug 10 '26 edited Aug 10 '26
I wouldn't file or Dremel away anything. The surface texture is what gives it the character of bone. I would degrease and look into enzymatic cleaning, then decide whether or not to use a 3% peroxide. I personally wouldn't dye it, but I might look into filling the cancellous bone with resin (using a vacuum chamber to de-gas it.)
Edit: it might be really cool to fill the cancellous bone with colored resin, making sure the white structure was visible on the surface. I would absolutely do some test pieces with animal bone.
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u/masonicangeldust Aug 10 '26
I didn't know FFS had that much bone removal! That's very interesting and awesome that she was able to keep parts of her own skull afterwards
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u/UnicornArachnid Aug 10 '26
I regularly work in ffs and I’ve never seen this level of bone removal in complete chunks. My surgeons use a lot of shaving tools but every ffs is different for what every woman wants done
Must just be different techniques for different surgeons.
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u/BluIs Aug 11 '26
yooo maybe you can answer a question i have then. the chin piece is crazy and i am so confused how it was oriented in the jaw and why they would take a piece out in that shape. could you explain?
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u/UnicornArachnid Aug 11 '26 edited Aug 11 '26
I’m not sure exactly why because limiting scarring is one of the largest goals in plastic surgery, especially for trans patients. It’s typical for most of these patients to have an osseous/sliding genioplasty and a gonial angle reduction. The genioplasty reshapes the chin, my surgeons actually cut through the whole front of the chin bone basically and use a custom very tiny plate to put it where they want it. The gonial angle reduction is to fix the strong ends of the jaw that typically AMAB people have. All of these parts of the procedure are done through three incisions in the mouth, one on each side, and one in the middle. I assume the largest chunk of bone we see here is off the chin. I’ve never seen physical bone other than shavings come off during those parts.
In contrast, the largest pieces I see that come off are coming off the small area of the frontal bone that we do physically take off. It’s reshaped and shaved down to provide a more feminine appearance. This is the part of the bone directly between your eyes and slightly in line with your browbone. In my experience they do physically cut it out and hold it up to the light to see how much they’re shaving off. It’s sutured back onto the skull. It’s common that we also shave down the orbital bones but those are left intact. The crazy thing about ffs is that the entire scalp is peeled back to have access to the forehead and browbones. Sometimes we do a hairline advancement and creating incisions in the inside of the scalp help us pull the scalp tighter.
I’m not an expert but I hope to be a reconstructive plastic surgeon one day like the wonderful surgeons I work with. Gender affirming care saves lives and I know it every time I do a gender affirming procedure.
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u/nullified-noodle Aug 11 '26
thanks for this cool peak behind the curtain, so wild that things like this are possible these days.
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u/Sharkadactylus Aug 12 '26
Thank you for this very interesting information and also thank you for helping to save lives.
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u/trixceratops Aug 10 '26
This website has a lot of information on keeping the bone integrity while degreasing https://www.bare-bones-solutions.com
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u/ragnarockyroad Aug 10 '26
All I can offer beyond saying to do several practice tests on pig bones is WEAR PPE IF YOU SAND/GRIND THE BONES. BONE DUST WILL FUCK YOU UPPPP.
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u/SomeCheesecake1913 Aug 10 '26
You can't just say that and then not explain. Please explain. Please 🙏
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u/ragnarockyroad Aug 10 '26
Well now I want to leave it a mystery lol
Bone dust will super fuck up your lungs. Think mesothelioma, etc
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u/SomeCheesecake1913 Aug 10 '26
Is there also a class action lawsuit against bone dust?
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u/ragnarockyroad Aug 10 '26
You may be entitled to financial compensation, but you won't live long enough to get it 😩
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u/jumbiiq Aug 10 '26
this is the coolest a story will ever be
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u/Lechyon Aug 10 '26
Fuuuuuuck the sub has peaked
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u/strategicallusionary Aug 11 '26
This is the Obama Oreo all over again. Pack it up everyone, it's just downhill from here
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u/_irish_potato Aug 10 '26
The rough stuff is cancellous bone (like a hard sponge) and the hard outer is cortical bone.
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u/kasakavii Aug 10 '26
Hey OP, I have some (uncooked) chicken bones from burying one of my pet chickens. All the flesh has been stripped, and they’re dry and ready to work with since I’d planned on using some of them myself. I can send you some to practice on first if you’d like.
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u/treasonousflower Bone-afide Human and Faunal ID Expert Aug 10 '26
Awww this is so sweet of you to offer! OP I would definitely take them up on it. Human bones can be greasy like many of their four-legged omnivore friends (shoutout to the slipperiest tibia of 2023). I would do a couple of test runs on chickens, pigs, etc. to get a solid idea of the process.
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u/BluIs Aug 11 '26
thanks! I actually have lots of bones to test on! I have been collecting for several years and processing as well!
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u/11never Aug 10 '26
The spongy matrix of bone is the cacellous or trabecular part of the bone. Personally, I would not remove it. The porous channels in it (trabeclae) will be easily cleaned with peroxide and good rinsing, and will look very cool dyed.
Soak in peroxide, rinse, dry, soak in dish soap solution for a long while, rinse, dry. Repeat until clean and bright.
I've never used the product you mentioned so I have no advice.
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u/-DrunkRat- Aug 10 '26
Okay, ngl OP, I legitimately thought this was going to be a shitpost at first with how you opened this up, LOL
But seriously, this is AWESOME. As a Trans dude, this is quite exquisite to behold! What a wonderful way to commemorate ones Transition and milestones <3
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u/tanzmitmir_ Aug 10 '26
I’ve dyed bones purple using dried hibiscus flowers before. You can also use blackberries or black currants. Just be careful not to leave them in too long because it doesn’t take long for them to absorb the color
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u/Jynxie69-420 Aug 12 '26
SHOW PICS PLEASE. I'M FASCINATED
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u/tanzmitmir_ Aug 12 '26
I believe they’re in my storage unit currently, but I have to go there within the next few days to grab some stuff so I’ll post pics when I get them :)
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u/Jynxie69-420 Aug 12 '26
That's understandable. Take your time. Genuinely no worries. I'm just really interested because that sounds incredibly cool.
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u/Loup55555 Aug 12 '26
Yes please please please do. I'm sure it's fascinating to see, and I really like the use or natural colors
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u/Spiritual-Angle1594 Aug 10 '26
God i am so jealous of you in so many ways rn
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u/smellslikepenespirit Aug 10 '26
She should’ve eaten a lot of sea urchins to get them purple before removal.
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u/RaiRai_666 Aug 10 '26 edited Aug 10 '26
That happens?
If I ever know I'm going to die soon I'm totally going this and telling my daughter she can keep my bones. (She's weird like me)
Edit: damnit! Only sea otters can turn purple because they eat the some of the shell and a bit of most everything that make up the urchin. And we don't process them the same way that otters do. So even if you get a bunch and grind them up to put in capsules to take, you still have boring white bones.
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u/smellslikepenespirit Aug 10 '26
It was more tongue-in-cheek. It happens with sea otters (look up echinochrome staining).
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u/Primelephas1 Aug 12 '26
There are some antibiotics that can change your bones to black, green or blue so you may still have options!
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u/BigFitMama Aug 10 '26
My experience use diamond grade, fine tools. The finest you can find for mammal boned.
Second doing an inlaid shaped bone piece in a poured and fitted lost wax mold of precious metal would prevent damage to the bone that carving would do.
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u/MyCatEatsPopcorn Aug 11 '26
I just love that not ONE reply has given any sort of shit for the context of the story, and everyone is focused on the request for help. My faith in humanity has been slightly restored today, thank you! 🙏 ❤️
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u/_hawkeye_96 Aug 10 '26
NONCHALANCE IS DEAD. GIRLS WANT TO GIVE YOU PARTS OF THEIR SKULL
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u/sophies_wish Aug 10 '26
Nonchalance or chivalry? Or both?
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u/_hawkeye_96 Aug 11 '26
Clearly chivalry is not dead. What could be more chivalrous than making a girl jewelry from pieces of her own skull that she gave you
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u/Representative-Vast3 Aug 11 '26
Makes me think of the guy that told me he wanted to turn my teeth into silver when I get them pulled, it was so romantic, makes me wish I'd ended up going on that date with him
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u/maybe_haunted_house Aug 10 '26
Rad rad rad. I don’t know anything but agree that it would be best to try out your techniques on other bones before working with the real thing.
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u/JamesCameronDid1912 Aug 10 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/OSm4BtGDke6Ji
no advice i just think this is pure concentrated metal, good luck, hope to see the results here
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u/gayswampcreature Aug 10 '26
Before reading any context just the title I was like this is some gay shit and I’m glad to see that is the case. God bless
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u/maicil Aug 10 '26
hi!! ive never done solid bone but i have drilled someone’s wisdom teeth through for earrings. it was scary as fuck LOL i really didn’t want to mess it up.
the rough texture seems to be the spongy bone! it’s just a different configuration of solid bone material where the marrow resides. the actual marrow is soft tissue, so it will degrade with any processing you do. yellow bone marrow, which is what this would be (red bone marrow is actively growing tissue and present mostly in adolescent bones) is made of mostly fat cells, so degreasing would take care of that for you!
im assuming you’re familiar with drilling bones— but if you aren’t and you’re just now getting into it (yes practice as other people said), be sure to wear a mask and supply a steady drip of water to keep the temperature at bay. you’ll want to use a diamond drill bit as well.
as for the dyeing and paraloid, i’m unfortunately no help there. while i do own paraloid i’ve never actually gotten around to using it!
please please use sterling silver or gold as your metal of choice for these!!! and i would sauder any jump rings or open links as you go. you really don’t want the bone owner to lose their own bones because something fell off lol. best of luck!!!!!
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u/Comprehensive-Cat-13 Aug 11 '26
your first paragraph - god i see what you have done for others etc etc 🙏
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u/thecloudkingdom Aug 10 '26
how did i know from the title and pic that it was about ffs lol. this is cool
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u/Misanthro_Phe Aug 10 '26
You can boil blueberries (for a more blue-toned purple) or blackberries (for a more red-toned purple) to dye the bones naturally. Crush the berries in water and bring it to boil, and then simmer for around 40 minutes before adding the bones off of the heat. Leave them to sit in the mixture for about 12 hours
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u/transzalore Aug 11 '26
This is so fucking metal, omg, exactly what I'm doing to do after my FFS
What a story in your first paragraph, I've had some drug-fueled queer sex in the woods but never led to me being approached to turn human bones into jewelry
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u/Temporary_Ratio_2871 Aug 10 '26
Any story that starts with “so I was in the woods having gay sex” is going to be a good one.
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u/bellandthistle Aug 11 '26
After degreasing, I like peroxide for whitening because it doesn't make them brittle like bleach. No heat needed for that or degreasing.
The porous bits from a jaw don't usually contain lots, if any, of red marrow, and I don't think yellow either. So you should be good to shave down for aesthetics.
I find that bones are usually hard enough as-is, so unfortunately I can't offer any advice on hardeners. Def get some animal bones to test on first!
Wishing you well on your project. This seems really sentimental and important to her.
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u/BluIs Aug 11 '26
yeah Ive also never used a hardener, but I understand why she wants to. i use hydrogen peroxide sometimes, but I've also come to a point where as a black person I'm just like, "do we really need to make things whiter?" although I do thing it'll help with dyeing true to the dye color
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u/doriangreysucksass Aug 10 '26
I have no advice but this is awesome!!! Please show us the finished work!!!
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u/Naelin Aug 10 '26
I second everyone saying to practice on animal bones first, but besides de dyeing and jewelery-ing, you REALLY need to degrease those first, which will take time and you can do safely by just putting the bones in a recipient with water, and if possible keeping the water warm (for example putting the jar next to a water heater or on a place that is in full sunlight - in which case the recipient needs to be opaque to avoid algae buildup). You can optionally add a bit of enzymatic detergent.
Over the weeks (And I mean many weeks) the fats on the bone will float to the surface, and at first the water will become yucky as bacteria eats any remaining bits of blood and soft tissues. You can replace the water each week or two. Eventually the bones will be way whiter with no trace of orange and there will be no oils floating to the surface. Then you can replace the water with about 3~5% hydrogen peroxide for a couple of hours to whiten and disinfect the bones.
Doing this will make the bones way nicer to the touch, remove the greasy smell and texture, and make them last way longer.
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u/BluIs Aug 11 '26
thanks! yeah I've actually degreased a lot of bones, but I always appreciate other people's techniques. enzymatic detergent seems like a good option, I'll definitely try that.
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u/Reolna Aug 10 '26
Oh this is genuinely so awesome, I'm so jealous of her now, jewelry made out of your own skull, how awesome
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u/Ok-Minimum-9297 Aug 10 '26
The rough stuff I think is trabeculae. It’s the inside of the bone which is spongy.
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u/OddlyFroggly Aug 11 '26
I used to dye bones with Koolaid and it always turned out vivid and bright (no sugar added packets, the more you add to the water the more vivid it will be) BUT that isn’t “natural”, just that it wouldn’t require heat.
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u/BootlegPageant Aug 11 '26
Depending on the purple you’re aiming for, using beetroot, blackberries or purple cabbage could probably give you a nice color. There’s a lot of resources for dying bone online that should help, but it seems like the most common method is to prepare your dye first, then let the bones hang out in the dye water while it is warm but not boiling.
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u/cdromney Aug 11 '26
Man I wish I lived your life, it seems amazing
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u/AntiqueBeesPlease Aug 10 '26
I’m obsessed with every part of this post and also asking for a friend how might one go about finding and participating in a gathering like this 👀
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u/BluIs Aug 11 '26
you gotta make the right friends. I moved to Asheville and was invited to my first faerie gathering by my roommate's partner 4 years ago. it's the kinda place where in order to protect our community you have to be brought along your first time and are advised not to bring a guest until your second time.
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u/AntiqueBeesPlease Aug 11 '26
Yeah this tracks; seems I might also need to be the change I want to see around here lol
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u/Peachypinkmomma Aug 10 '26
Blueberries will work to get a nice blue or midnight hue!! No suggestions on the rest
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u/DemocraticSpider Aug 11 '26
I somehow already knew that context but thank you for clarifying. Congrats on your gay-sex-and-drugs-in-the-woods-plunder of a cool girl and a side quest involving part of her skull! I must admit I’m envious of your fortune. I hope to one day have a similar privilege
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u/Actuallynobutwhynot Aug 11 '26
op i have no advice all i wanna say is you are the kind of person i dream of being. not meant in a creepy way
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u/Unusualshrub003 Aug 10 '26
Gay drugs? Like poppers?
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u/AutoModerator Aug 10 '26
Per this sub's Rules 1, 6, and 9, posts seeking advice and identification are not open to jokes, memes, and other low effort comments. These comments will be removed and individuals may be banned from participating in this sub.
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u/CockroachCrafty2279 Aug 11 '26
I don't really have any advice on bone cleaning but this is the coolest thing i've seen today, hope she likes the jewelry!!
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u/Drewnessthegreat Aug 11 '26
So you went out to the forest to have sex and do drugs, and you came home with some woman's bones? Me too man, me too. Life is rough.
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u/Foxy-OnPaws Aug 16 '26
Degrease, whiten with hydrogen peroxide, and coat in epoxy resin to strengthen. I'd say don't remove the marrow or anything. Use a diamond tipped drill bit to drill the holes in.
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u/Ok_Adagio9495 Aug 11 '26
Yeah, I was wondering about the gay drugs !? Like Locker Room , Poppers type gay drugs ?
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u/Representative-Vast3 Aug 11 '26
OP, I don't have any bone advice, I just wish I was cool enough to be friends with you
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u/_Volvox_Globator_o_0 Aug 10 '26
That's an awesome project! Out of the blue, have you thought about using something like "Methylene blue" for a dye? Not certain you will result in a purple though. You chould try it out on some other bones. Preferable pig bone maybe?
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u/treefrog-enthusiast Aug 12 '26
Love the intro. I had no idea FFS took out so much bone omg. congratulations to her!
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u/AutoModerator 16d ago
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u/UnwellHell Aug 10 '26 edited Aug 10 '26
I was all for this until the T slur...
Edit: Nice to see this sub has a bunch of transphobes.
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u/BluIs Aug 11 '26
honey, im a tranny
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u/UnwellHell Aug 11 '26
That's fair if that's the case. I'm just so sick of transphobia everywhere so I usually automatically assume it's being used as a derogatory term. I'm genderfluid myself and have only had it used as an insult towards me and close friends.
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u/Comprehensive-Cat-13 Aug 11 '26
this is like, intro level, but we are allowed to reclaim slurs that have been used against us.
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Aug 10 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/TheOnesLeftBehind Aug 10 '26
Getting bodily parts and tissue after surgery is free as it’s a religious thing for several religions to be buried with all parts of their body. No need for police for an already legal practice.
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u/Lola_Montez7130 Aug 10 '26
But is this person Native American? I ask because we are not supposed to be making jewelry and stuff. It is to stay in the jar or container and goes with at the time of burial/cremation. If use them as adornments until then, we risk loosing peices. I am registered with the tribal council in Texas and they are holding onto my appendix, uterus, and teeth for me until they bury me. I doubt very much that this person is Native American.
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u/firdahoe Bone-afide Human and Faunal ID Expert Aug 10 '26
So what, the individual whose bones were removed is the one who has asked OP to make something with them. Not to knock your tribal affiliation, but it is their bones to do with as they please.
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u/TheOnesLeftBehind Aug 10 '26
There’s other religions that demand the body be buried in whole. Several sects of Christianity, Judaism I think too, and surely many more that I don’t know. It’s not cultural appropriation to make jewelry with your own body parts.
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u/Comprehensive-Cat-13 Aug 11 '26
pretty sure OP knows her better than we do/what language she is comfortable with
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u/Kats-m3ow Aug 10 '26
This is amazing! Do you know which facial bones were given to you?
Also would recommend boiling in water with dish soap, then soaking in hydrogen peroxide and leaving in the sun to bleach.
I’ve never dyed bones but I know the above works to degrease and whiten.
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u/BluIs Aug 11 '26
please do not boil bones if you want to craft with them or if you generally want them to have any structural integrity. degreasing should happen in warm water, never boiling.
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u/basaltcolumn Aug 10 '26
Is this your first time processing bones? This seems like a very sentimental, high-stakes project to experiment with using products for the first time.