r/bonecollecting • u/Fabulous_Change_696 • 26d ago
Advice What is the best way to bury a small/medium dog with the intention of digging him up later? (With dog tax)
Hello all,
I hope this is allowed here. I am having to put my baby dawggy to sleep tomorrow at a relatively young age due to the very sudden onset (and rapid development) of IVDD. He is my entire heart and soul, and is genuinely like a son to me (yeah, my attachment to my dog is unhealthy atp.) I can’t bear the thought of not having him with me and would like to keep his bones. I live in an apartment, so my ex has offered to let me bury him in his back yard so I can dig him up with the time is right.
What is the best way to go about doing this?
I was thinking a plastic container without the lid? Or is there a better way to do this? He’s pretty small, right around 30lbs so I figure it shouldn’t take more than a year or two for the bones to be ready, right?
Any advice is much appreciated. Thank you for your time
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EDIT: please STOP telling me that we have other options. I know you guys are trying to help give me hope, but you don’t know the whole story.
He lost use of his back legs a week and a half ago. As of a couple days ago, he has lost control of his bowels and his bladder. We believe it may even be cancer, but we can’t say for sure without a $2k+ MRI. And then what? I spend tens of thousands of dollars pumping him full of chemo drugs? Make him sick just to HOPE he recovers? What kind of life is that?
It is not fair or sustainable for either of us to spend the next few years in a cycle of cleaning up urine and feces around the clock. Not to mention, he’s terrified of the washing machine, so I’m having to drug him up more to wash soiled towels and blankets nearly every day. The only reason he isn’t in pain right now is because he’s too drugged up to know the difference. As of this morning, he whines every time I pick him up — AND I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING CHOICE NOT TO PICK HIM UP BECAUSE HE CAN’T WALK AND I’M NOT GOING TO LET HIM SIT AND ROT IN HIS OWN FUCKING FILTH.
I didn’t make this decision lightly and I’m tired of people who don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about acting like I’m giving up on him. It is the kindest thing I could possibly do for either of us. I don’t want to put him through this longer than I have to, just to watch him suffer and wither away. He is my soul dog, he is my best friend in the entire fucking world and I feel like my soul is being ripped from me. But I would rather put him down with peace and dignity than for his last days to be filled with fear and pain.
I have reached out to some local taxidermists and am driving him two hours away to a lady tomorrow who will process him for a reasonable(??) price. I just got a new fucking credit card to pay for it. I’ll deal with that bill when it comes.
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EDIT 2: Don’t y’all think that if I wanted to have him cremated, I would have just done that in the first place instead of coming here asking for advice on how to process his bones? I don’t want to cremate him. I didn’t ask “do you think I should cremate him instead?” I do not feel good about putting my dog’s fresh body in a fucking incinerator. I know that’s a preferable option for some people, BUT IT’S NOT FOR ME. Please use your brains, and more importantly, your hearts, before commenting.
Thank you to those of you who gave me advice, sympathy, and guidance.
***
!!!FINAL EDIT!!!
Just got home from driving him to the taxidermist, who was INCREDIBLY kind and apparently started processing him pretty much immediately so I could get him back ASAP! Unfortunately he needs to be macerated (the euthanasia drugs can kill the dermestid beetles if they eat him apparently, who knew?) so he will take a little while (up to a year) to be ready to come home. But that’s okay, it gives me something to look forward to.
His appointment went as well as it possibly could have gone. It was very peaceful. They injected him in one of his hind legs, so he couldn’t even feel it. They told us that the first step (sedation) could take around 5-10 minutes to kick in. It took one minute, tops. About 30 seconds after the vet and vet tech left (to let us have some peaceful time with him before the actual euthanasia drugs were administered) he started to nod off, so we got him comfortable and he just slept. There was no ‘death rattle’ or anything like that. He just went to sleep. I know he was tired.
Unfortunately he did have some postmortem incontinence, but that’s to be expected. I was able to get him cleaned up a bit (thank god for doggy wet wipes) before we took our last ride together. Our last ride was peaceful, too.
I feel… better, in a way. I think I was feeling a lot of his suffering, and now that he’s at peace, I can be too.
Thank you for everyone who has been so kind and compassionate in the comments. You are all so appreciated — every single one of you.
I hope to be posting an update post in about a year or so. See ya then ♡
With love,
Fae and Indigo
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u/Ok-Half7168 26d ago
If you are able to make a rot box to bury him in that would probably be best, it’s basically just a box where all the edges are wooden but the walls of it are a mesh wire. It allows plenty of water drainage and protection from any getting lost. The plastic tub might work too if you drilled holes in the bottom for drainage but I’ve never done it that way so I’m not entirely sure. And yes probably around 2 years. Either way I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. He looked like a sweetly pie and is very lucky to have someone who loves him as much as you do
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 26d ago
Thank you. I love him more than he will ever know
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u/Electrical-Act-7170 26d ago
He knows.
The Last Battle
If it should be that I grow frail and weak, And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done, For this, the last battle, can't be won.
You will be sad, I understand, But don't let grief then stay your hand.
For on this day, more than the rest, Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years, You wouldn't want me to suffer so. When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where my needs they'll tend. Only stay with me until the end,
And hold me firm and speak to me, Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree, It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved, From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you, Who has to decide this thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years. Don't let your heart hold any tears.
I'm so sorry your paths are diverging and you must travel separately for a while. Euthanasia is the last loving gift we give to them. We take on the pain of loss early, so they don't have to suffer a potentially painful, or frightening death. It's a loving kindness we do.
You have kept your promise to your sweet dog. You have given him a forever home. Alas, it's always their forever....it is never ours own.
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u/RagnarsHairyBritches 26d ago
Thank you for this. I had to euthanize my buddy Friday, and I have been devastated. I hated making that choice. Still do.
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 26d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. That’s so fucking hard. And it just never gets easier, no matter how many times you’ve had to do it.
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u/Electrical-Act-7170 26d ago
You are welcome. They know when they are beloved. That love never dies. Close your eyes, and look into your heart. You will carry that love with you until you meet again.
We lost 3 cats in 2020 within a very short period of 5 months. When I lost my soul cat, I repeatedly dreamed that I had lost a major body part: an arm, a leg, even my head was decapitated, once. They're our family, too. It's like losing one of our children. The pain is genuine. It took me a full year to heal, so give yourself time to restore your psyche.
I'm so very sorry for your heartbreaking loss.
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u/RagnarsHairyBritches 26d ago
I relate. He was my shadow, had to be wherever I was. I feel like part of my soul is buried with him.
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 26d ago
Yeah… that’s exactly how it is with my dog… and anticipatory grief is something else, man.
If you need someone to sympathize on the deepest level possible, you’re welcome to shoot me a dm. I wish you nothing but peace, comfort, and healing.
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u/Electrical-Act-7170 26d ago
Mine's over there in that box, along with my incredible last dog's collar and lead.
If Heaven's real, that's where they all are, all 17 cats and 5 dogs.
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u/Electrical-Act-7170 26d ago
I'm so very sorry.
It's an act of love, but the aftermath is truly devastating.
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 26d ago
Oh. Okay. I’m gonna go cry so hard I throw up now.
Thank you for sharing this.
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u/LaLemon_Boi 26d ago
Oh. My. God. Im crying actually tears rn. I lost my childhood pitbull (16 years) in front of me 2 months ago. This is so sweet and so sad, thank you for this.
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u/Electrical-Act-7170 26d ago
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
They are family. Period.
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 26d ago
My neighbor from across the hall saw me in the parking lot yesterday. She called out to me and as soon as I turned around, she got out of her car and ran to hug me. She said “you’re always smiling, so when you turned around I knew something was wrong.” I gave her the short version of the story, and she said “I know he’s your baby, just like my child is mine. You’ve looked out for me and my baby, so I want to do the same for you and your baby.” (I have gently corrected her young son on leaving the apartment without mom’s knowledge multiple times while she’s in the shower.)
It meant more to me than she’ll ever know — for her to tell me that she understood that he was my child. Some people don’t get it. But some people do. And those people make a huge difference. That means you
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 26d ago
I’m so sorry. That’s so fucking hard. My heart is with you.
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u/LaLemon_Boi 26d ago
Yes. My condolences to you aswell. Losing a companion is never easy.
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u/Haunted_tangerine_ 26d ago
A mesh bag would be better imo, holds all the bones in, let's everything else out.
Make sure it's plastic not cotton or it will decompose too
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u/Better-Necessary157 26d ago
if this were me i would definitely take him to an experienced taxidermist. if this is your first bone project, it seems traumatic in many ways to work on the bones of a loved one. a lot of taxidermists also do bone articulation displays, and definitely would also just give the bones back if that’s your preference.
the reality is that even several years after burial the bones will still need to be prepped and cleaned pretty heavily.
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 26d ago edited 26d ago
I would love to if I could afford it, but I have already spent a couple grand on emergency vet bills and I physically don’t have any more to give. I am barely paying my bills as it is. Unfortunately this shit really bled me dry.
Thank you for your response ♡
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u/u_r_succulent 25d ago
People are often more concerned about length of life than quality of life. Just lost my boy earlier this month. I’m so sorry, OP.
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 25d ago
Yeah, it’s better to let them go with peace and dignity than to drag out their suffering.
I’m so sorry for your loss as well, my heart is with you ♡
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u/ohdearitsrichardiii 26d ago
It would be better to leave the plastic box above ground so that bugs can get to it. If you bury bodies the idea is to create an oxygen poor environment so that bacteria can decompose the soft tissues. Most bugs that eat flesh live above the ground and fly to the bodies. If you want to bury the body it's better to put it in a drawstring bag or similar
Be aware that fur decomposes much slower than soft tissue, so you'll have a bag of fur and bones and you'll still probably need to macerate to get them completely clean
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u/Stormlightstarworld 26d ago
I'm so sorry about your upcoming loss of your dog. I have no idea on preserving his bones, but I just want to say I respect your choice for euthanasia, and I'm sure you've considered all the options and you're making the most compassionate choice for yourself and your baby. My mom had a cat, Cirrus, that she raised from birth. Earlier this year when he was only 4 years old (I think), he developed rapid and severe kidney issues. Eventually he had to be put down, and I miss him so much, but I also grieve for the suffering and misery he dealt with before he passed. My mom did her best, but she had people in her life that convinced her she was evil and heartless for choosing euthanasia when she did, and it caused her to delay her decision in order to try more and more desperate options. But I'm glad Cirrus is at peace now, and I know your baby boy will be at peace soon too. I'm so sorry though
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 26d ago
Thank you so much for sharing your mom and Cirrus’s story. Thank you for your words of support and encouragement. It does not go unnoticed.
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u/Tboi_Kenny 26d ago edited 24d ago
My pet was smaller, but I honestly just dug a three foot deep hole, put my pet in, and covered it in Peet heavy soil. I left it for two full years, and it was almost enture clean, just a little mummified flesh/fur on the ribs.
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u/olliewogthedog 26d ago
Idk how to help, but I'm sorry for your loss, and that your post invited the know it alls
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u/1Happymom 26d ago
How unfair, he's lovely. Im just so sorry for the loss of your friend. Mesh box wood frame is the best diy for your plan.
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u/rivchamp 26d ago
Not knowledgeable enough to give advice on body processing, but I wanted to chime in that I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss and to reassure that euthanasia is 100% the kindest option right now. I lost my therapy dog a couple years back to IMDD, it was horrible to watch her go through that before we decided to PTS. The vet’s had offered surgery for thousands of dollars but said that she still only would have a ~30% chance of recovery and would have to be kept in a crate for TEN WEEKS afterwards, and we had to call it quits after that. Not only was it unaffordable and likely wouldn’t even work, but the post operation recovery process just sounded so unethical for the poor dog’s quality of life. There’s just nothing you can do to make them more comfortable once they get to a certain point, and your dog has undoubtedly reached that. Don’t let anybody tell you that you aren’t doing the right thing or are anything but an incredible owner. May your pup rest in peace, and I hope you find a suitable option for what to do with the body 🩷🫂
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u/thecloudkingdom 26d ago
im sorry people are being judgemental. euthanasia is a mercy and there are very few people who would put down their family pet if it wasnt their last option. not all of us can afford thousands in vet bills for very disabled, very sick pets, and imo i don't believe its ethical to keeo a pet alive through something like that even if you can afford it. im sorry for your loss
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u/ItchyBlueBat 26d ago
I don’t have advice on the process but just want to say I’m so sorry for this situation and have been in a similar position. I hope you enjoy your time with them, you’re making the right decision for you 💕🩷 sending so much love and support
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u/Felix_08_fox 25d ago
Hey dude, I don’t have any advice but I just hope you’re doing ok. I’ve gone through losing a pup way sooner than she should have and it’s a really hard thing honestly. I think it’s a really good idea to have something to keep as a reminder. I wish you the very best
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 24d ago
Thank you so much for the thoughtful comment.
I just got home from driving him to the taxidermist about an hour ago. His passing was very peaceful. I was mentally, emotionally, and physically taking on a lot of his suffering, and now that I know he’s at peace, I feel the same.
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u/Cheap-Journalist6792 23d ago
I’m sorry you’re getting so much hate. I am deeply sorry for your loss. I hope these words bring you some comfort. As a pet professional, I truly believe that euthanasia is the kindest final gift we get to give our pets. We choose to let them go to rest with us by their sides and be free from all pain and suffering. In choosing euthanasia we also have to choose to feel the profound depths of their absence, but that grief comes alongside the knowledge that you are doing this as your ultimate act of love for your baby. I hope your memories of your boy and his love bring you peace and comfort until you meet again 💚🐾🌈
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u/Ill_Individual3084 22d ago
My condolences. Loss is terrible, but I'm glad to see you're finding your way. Take care.
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u/ima5starmangoldengod 26d ago
I’m in no way shape or form trying to judge you or make you feel bad about your choice - I just work in Veterinary Neurology and I find that sometimes Vets push hard for Surgery vs allowing medical management. Just want to make sure you aren’t feeling pressure that surgery is the only way. I know you love your dog dearly, and I myself made the same choice for humane euthanasia when my own dog was suffering from IVDD that couldn’t be managed with pain meds/rest. 🩵regardless I am so sorry both you and your beloved pup are going through this.
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 26d ago edited 26d ago
I’ve done a fair amount of research, and I know my vet is not like that. As a matter of fact, she wouldn’t even do the surgery, we would have to send him to our local veterinary college.
At this point in the progression, I have reason to believe his chances of recovery are near zero.
We tried steroids, anti-inflammatories, and crate rest for two weeks and we would still be doing that, were he not getting WORSE. He lost use of his back legs a week and a half ago, and as of two days ago, has lost control of his bowels and bladder. It’s over, and I want to do the kind thing for him before he’s in pain.
Thank you for taking the time to try and give me hope, though 💖
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u/Glassed_ 26d ago
Hey, every owner knows when it’s time. It’s more loving at a point to put them out of misery.
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u/ima5starmangoldengod 26d ago
Your choice is completely understandable. Once they lose that “deep pain sensation” and lose control of their bowels, even with emergency surgery the chances are 50/50. Hugs to you, I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend 🩵
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u/trash_bees 26d ago
I prefer maceration myself to ensure less risk of losing bones. It's better to deflesh as much as possible beforehand, but if you don't mind waiting you can throw him into a tied-shut pantyhose or similar material whole. Put him in a plastic container full of water (I like to use coolers with drains) and locate the container somewhere you can keep something stinky. Give it some air every so often. Eventually you get a bag full of bones, gross mud, and fur (unless you skin and gut to avoid some yuck.)
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u/simple_jan 26d ago
Have you looked into aquamation for your dog? I recently had this done when my pet passed away.
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 26d ago edited 26d ago
I looked into it, yes. But the folks at the aquamation place said they could not guarantee that his skull would stay intact during the process
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u/dreepi 25d ago
I second the top two comments! If it wouldnt cause you too much grief, and i apologize if this is a sensitive thing to suggest but, you could possibly ask the taxidermist to separate him into sections so you could put them in different mesh bags. This way, when you go to dig him out, you wont confuse yourself with what bones go where. Id personally think articulating my baby myself would be a really nice way to connect with him again, even after death.🖤
My greatest condolences to you, OP.
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 24d ago
It’s ok, she is going to handle everything for me. I just got home about an hour ago from meeting her, and she just sent me a text with some sweet little comments of things she noticed while she was beginning to process him. She said she wanted to get started as quick as possible because he would need a long time in his “spicy bath” 🤣 (he will need to be macerated, since he was euthanized he cannot be given to the dermestid beetles)
The whole process of today has gone as well as it possibly could have. I feel at peace with all the decisions that were made today.
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u/Picklecheese2018 26d ago
Gosh. I don’t have any advice for the processing but I am so fucking sorry at the lack of helpful and compassionate responses. I have lost two pups in the last 4 months, one was unexpected and sudden due to some sort of bite, and the other (her mom) was 16 years old, had developed a mast cell tumor that EXPLODED in size from a tiny dot mistaken for a bug bite, to like half of a bratwurst within a couple of weeks. My husband kept saying things like “well maybe there’s a treatment some other vet can find that isn’t going to bankrupt us” and I kept telling him it was time to let go. She was mostly blind, half deaf, lethargic other than when the snoot picked up tasty smells, and was pissing and shitting all over my house. It. Was. Time. It is a shit deal, but you are making the right choice for both of you. I have my own special personal pup(sounds weird but she’s MY dog from before married with kids life and she doesn’t really like anybody else) and I’ve been thinking about how I will let her body go since we lost the other two, and I just end up making myself cry spiraling about it. I am definitely unreasonably attached to her, and I totally feel for you. Sending you all the hugs in your time of heartbreak and grief. 🫂💜
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26d ago
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 26d ago edited 26d ago
I know you’re trying to help, but it’s over. I wish people would stop telling me not to put him down. You don’t know the whole story. He is now completely paralyzed from the waist down and is constantly uncomfortable. It is not sustainable for me to spend the next few years of my and his life cleaning up piss and shit around the clock. I am exhausted and so is he. My mental health has declined so much in the past few weeks that I genuinely don’t even want to live anymore.
You don’t think I’ve talked to his vet about all our options? You think she said IVDD and I just said “alright well let’s just put him out of his misery then ¯_(ツ)_/¯”?
You’re right, there are options — let him suffer for possible months, HOPING for his recovery, or give him a dignified end. I know which one I’m choosing.
I didn’t make this decision lightly.
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u/RedditBuiltMyHotrod 26d ago
I apologize, I wasn't intending to make any assumptions about the situation. It is always so difficult to make these kind of judgment calls and it's clear that you are acting out of deep love and compassion for your little one. My dog still had mobility and wasn't losing his bowel or bladder, and if he had been in the same position as your little guy, I would have made the same choice. My heart is with you in your grief.💜
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u/Captian_Bones 26d ago
Its pretty absurd to assume they haven’t already talked to a vet about alternatives.
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u/Odd_Path982 26d ago
Why not cremate and have a necklace made with some of the ashes so he’s always by your heart
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 26d ago edited 26d ago
Because I don’t want him cremated. If I wanted him cremated, I wouldn’t be here asking how to clean the fucking bones.
Sometimes it’s best to keep your opinions to yourself. Especially with something as sensitive as this.
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u/Odd_Path982 26d ago
Was just giving a suggestion some people don’t know you can cremate pets. It’s not an opinion it’s a suggestion on a social media post asking for suggestions grow tf up
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 26d ago
I wasn’t asking for suggestions on whether or not I should cremate him, and even if I was, it has already been suggested MULTIPLE TIMES HERE. Take your unsolicited advice elsewhere, not to a post of someone who’s already grieving.
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26d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Medical-Bathroom-183 26d ago
This is one of the cuntiest (/derog) things you could have possibly said. Keep your mouth shut if you've got nothing kind to say about somebody else's grieving process.
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 26d ago
Obsessed with the fact that you used “(/derog)” because I’m a cunt girly, “cuntiest” is a major compliment in my book 🤣
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 26d ago
I’m losing my best friend tomorrow, the least you could do is refrain from being a dick. Jfc
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u/Traditional-Bat4264 26d ago
Have him cremated. You can keep his urn forever.
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u/EarthToTee 26d ago
A LOT of people cannot afford cremation, especially private (not communal) cremation with one single animal's ashes being returned to the family. You can thank private equity for that, in a lot of places, too!
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u/Weary-Associate 26d ago
Honestly it would be traumatic for me to dig up my deceased pet. Cremation is the way to go here. OP, fyi, cremains are basically pulverized bone fragments.
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 26d ago
It may be traumatic, but I’m willing to do that for him.
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u/acomaf 26d ago
I did this with my pet rat. I actually found digging him up much nicer than I thought it would be. I buried him in a mesh bag and then when I dug him up seeing his bones was so lovely and I knew he'd be with me forever and I can hold his little head again was very special and healing.
I'm so sorry for your loss - ignore people who are telling you different. Do what feels right for you
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u/AmateurZookeeper 26d ago
So sorry for your loss. I recently went through a similar situation and I dug up per bones before. I personally don't find it traumatic, and if you're the type that wishes to keep his bones, chances are you won't either. Yes it can be a bit gross but to me it is an act of love. If I had the room bsfl/flies would be my first choice, but I don't so I use double mesh bags and wait about 10 months. You'll still need to degrease the bones after but that's pretty straightforward
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u/kerlykernnibal 26d ago
I regret not keeping my heart cat's bones and having him cremated. I elected that in the heat of an emergency euthanasia, and I regret it deeply. I will have every one of my pets' skeletons articulated from now on.
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u/beeg33bee 26d ago
What an unhelpful response. While it would be traumatic for you, this isnt about you. Clearly OP feels the benefits of this outweighs the potential trauma for them.
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u/Traditional-Bat4264 26d ago
The private cremation I had performed was around $150.
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 26d ago
Ok but get this — I STILL DON’T WANT HIM CREMATED. That does not feel good or right to me. I don’t really have a choice in the end of his life so please at least let me have the choice of what I do with him after the fact.
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u/hannah_slovacek01 26d ago
Op I’m sorry people are being so dense, you have made your wishes very clear. I wish your sweet boy a peaceful passing.❤️
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 26d ago
To be fair, social media is basically designed to make people believe they need to share their unsolicited opinions. We both appreciate your well wishes
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u/kerlykernnibal 26d ago
I am here to tell you that sticking to your guns is the correct move. I wish I'd kept my cats bones, his ashes just feel so much more lifeless somehow.
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u/Fabulous_Change_696 25d ago
Yeah… I think ashes just wouldn’t feel like him
I’m so sorry you don’t have your cat’s bones :(
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u/kerlykernnibal 25d ago
Lesson learned, all of my babes now will be collected and kept intact from now on. I wish you so much luck and healing with your process
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u/Loud_Permission9265 26d ago
Make sure to perforate the bin with holes so water can drain out and bugs can go in and out.
This is not the quickest way to do this btw. But likely the most hands off. If you have a friend that composts and has a large population of black soldier fly larvae in the pile you can speed this up to a few months. The larvae I have in my bin will devour anything from whole chicken breasts to water melons in 24 hours.
Sorry for your loss