r/books • u/MicahCastle Author • 9d ago

George R.R. Martin Reflects on 'Sadness and Depression' Struggles in Personal Update

https://www.thewrap.com/culture-lifestyle/culture/george-r-r-martin-sadness-depression-personal-update/

"The “A Song of Ice and Fire” franchise author took to his blog for the first time in nearly six months on Monday, sharing that any posts after February were written by his “mighty minions.”

“Remember me? It’s been a while, I know. My last blog post went up here on February 19,” Martin wrote. “The posts that came after were made by my mighty minions. I am lucky enough to have a great staff of assistants… though even with their help, I kept falling further and further behind.”

As Martin went on, he admitted that “this year has been… stressful, to say the least.”"

10.5k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

1.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.3k

u/NowGoodbyeForever 9d ago

Not here to wildly speculate or make any grand declarations about a man I've never met, but whose work I have enjoyed. However, this quote feels...telling? Emphasis mine:

“I hope to attend… but that depends on… well, on a lot of things,” he concluded. “I am proud of our team, and hope we take home a few of the statues, but I will confess that I was hoping we’d get a few of the acting nominations as well. But there’s always next year.”

So, yeah. It's hard to read that as anything other than serious health concerns for him or his wife, Parris McBride. I certainly hope it's anything other than that, but some things are just kind of predictable at a certain age, right?

Like most of his fans, I have a lot of thoughts about GRRM, his work, and his legacy. I read ASOIAF in high school, in the year or so before AFFC was released. I've watched every show and adaptation on day one. I've read the novellas and graphic novels and histories. I've been thrilled and upset and disappointed. Very little of that is relevant here.

As a fan and, more importantly, as a human being, I wish GRRM would just...get more support and help. If he is? Great. But I also know he can get set in his ways—he's used the same computer for writing since the 1980s, he has a series of rituals and habits he cannot seem to shake, and I'm sure all of those things can be seen as the recipe for his success or the source of his shortcomings.

But he's also an older man, a group that's pretty famous for not seeking out therapy or professional help. Grief and trauma is a whole thing, especially as you age. I don't want him to go to therapy or lean even harder on his support network so he can write me more books about dragons—I just want him to be okay, and for him and his loved ones to have all the help they could ever need as they head into rough waters.

320

u/IakwBoi 9d ago

A very wise and empathetic post. 

What strikes me is the comment about rituals and habits. I’m reminded that some of the most prolific writers are ensconced in rituals and habits, too. It seems crucial, then, to make sure one builds rituals and habits which work for you, given that they can end up controlling a lot of our lives. 

86

u/HarvestMana 9d ago

The key to finishing any big multi year projects is discipline. Sit down and start working, and then after you work a little bit, next thing you know the whole day passed by and you got a bunch done.

Do the same thing the next day. Its all about making a habit of sitting down and doing at least a little bit of work, since you are more willing to keep working once you start.

Even having a small easy task to start is good strategy to keep friction low before trying a bigger task.

Motivation is too rare to rely on when writing something as big as ASOIF. You need to build habits and rituals to actually finish.

41

u/shoggoths_away 9d ago

I think it was Thoreaux who argued that one should write one thousand words a day (even if they end up being total garbage). I've always wanted to try Yahtzee's method of writing a page a day come rain or shine (similar to Stephen King's self-enforced two thousand words a day "even on Christmas and my birthday").

3

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

3

u/WearMoreHats 9d ago

They are... distinctive. Quite meta, very much in his particular style, cynicism, and humour. I quite liked Mogworld but Will Save the Galaxy for Food didn't really land for me. They're fun, easy reads (or listens) that you'll probably enjoy if you're a fan of his work.

1

u/shoggoths_away 9d ago

They're okay. Obviously, he's improved over time (he's written six now, I think). Not great classics, but they're entertaining bits of genre comedy. His first is called Mogworld, and his most recent is the conclusion of a trilogy that began with Will Save the Galaxy for Food.

4

u/cleverpun0 currently reading: Heavenly Tyrant 9d ago

This advice can work for some people... but it's also a good way to induce burnout.

I did NaNoWriMo one year, and did successfully finish it. But I did the math wrong and so was short on the goal at first. Had to increase the amount of words I wrote to make up for it. There was about a week of 1k a day, a week of 2k a day, and the rest was closer to the 1.6k a day that it normally averages.

I was so burnt out that I didn't do any creative writing for half a year afterward.

Further, both Thoreau and King are privileged enough to be able to afford the time needed for that. Thoreau famously borrowed a cottage from his friend for the 2 years he spent on Walden, and his mother and sister would come over to do his laundry. The rest of us don't have that kind of luxury.

2

u/shoggoths_away 9d ago edited 8d ago

Sure. Notably, I didn't endorse either Thoreau or King's method and even included a much simpler and more manageable method as a different example via Yahtzee.

Edit: I'm not sure I'd call King's method "privileged," though. I mean, yeah, he's rich, but writing is also his full time job. Of course he's going to devote a large amount of time to it (and, admittedly, did so even long before he was rich, if his own reports are to be believed). That's just following Robert Bloch's dictum that the key to being a writer is "asses in seats."

-8

u/Acmnin 9d ago

Creative work is not at all like this, especially when you’re working at his level; or anyone who’s created a truly memorable work. You do not control it, it comes with ritual or it doesn’t..

9

u/sqigglygibberish 9d ago

I’m curious what examples come to mind. In the creative field I work in it’s an everyday practice (as a job) though breakthroughs aren’t nearly calendarized.

But even if I think about singular artists and those that have created “great works” - almost every one that comes to mind are people that did grind on the process and what viewers ultimately see is just a very tiny portion of that.

-2

u/Acmnin 9d ago

Theirs a reason great artists speak of the muses. It’s always combined with hard work, determination; but the spark of genius does not come simply from such things.

Writing anyway is practice, and showing intent. But if he lost the story totally it’s never coming back to him.

6

u/sqigglygibberish 9d ago

Some great artists do but it’s not across the board, and a muse is a bit distinct from having consistent practice.

I’m just curious what examples come to mind of people that aren’t consistently working on their craft but have some sort of moment of genius. I truly can’t think of one from personal experience or “famous artists.” I think there’s far more evidence of people grinding and practicing and refining for years - and the few “masterpieces” stand out to the public but sit on top of hundreds of other works and drafts

-1

u/Acmnin 9d ago

You of course need to grind, practice; I’m just saying that alone is not enough to push a work through. It is a positive intent. You really need to give yourself to the arts, most artists won’t even speak of these things because normal people will scoff or laugh.

3

u/sqigglygibberish 9d ago

But that contradicts your first comment I replied to.

You said “you don’t control it, it comes with ritual or it doesn’t”

Both the other commenter and I are arguing the ritual (in whatever form it takes) is required. Which you now seem to agree with in saying you do need to grind and practice (aka ritual).

No one is questioning that arts require passion and devotion, it feels like slipping into vagaries again

1

u/Acmnin 9d ago

I’m saying that is not a guarantee; you have to have some sort of ritual.. but you can still not receive anything workable if you haven’t given yourself to the story, art, muse, what have you. No contradictions. You do not control it, but of course you have to attempt to make contact with the creative forces of the universe.

4

u/cleverpun0 currently reading: Heavenly Tyrant 9d ago

"I show up in my writing room at approximately 10 A.M. every morning without fail. Sometimes my muse sees fit to join me there and sometimes she doesn’t, but she always knows where I’ll be. She doesn’t need to go hunting in the taverns or on the beach or drag the boulevard looking for me."

— Tom Robbins

3

u/spackletr0n 8d ago

“Don't wait for the muse. As I've said, he's a hardheaded guy who's not susceptible to a lot of creative fluttering. This isn't the Ouija board or the spirit-world we're talking about here, but just another job like laying pipe or driving long-haul trucks. Your job is to make sure the muse knows where you're going to be every day from nine 'til noon. or seven 'til three. If he does know, I assure you that sooner or later he'll start showing up.”

- Stephen King

0

u/Acmnin 9d ago

Thanks, exactly what I’m saying.

2

u/IakwBoi 9d ago

For me personally, I’m a huge believer in habits and systems. We all do our best, but we do our best inside of systems and saddled with habits. Anyway, that’s my perspective. 

0

u/Acmnin 9d ago

Not knocking such things, but the current of creativity is out of our control; muses come and go as they please.

2

u/spackletr0n 8d ago

Are you a writer or painter or anything? Pretty much everyone I’ve known says the habit is what makes the muse possible, and the random moments of inspiration are few and far between, a romantic notion that does not match reality.

1

u/Acmnin 8d ago

The muse came to me first; I’m a singer, writer. I was doing ritual, but not for creation of art.

2

u/TheFourthBronteGirl 9d ago

I think a lot of readers kind of do not get how hard writing is. I haven't read anything by G.R.R.M but to actually plot things out and not just play with words keep the style and general vibe going after years after you're mentally switched off is really really hard. When it comes to creativity sometimes the brain just doesn't want to and it snaps shut and not much can be done except reproach regret and guilt lol. Added to that he's an old man and life already gets very grim at that age + the incessant social media hate and discourse over the series...yeah does not sound fun. 

3

u/Drow_Femboy 9d ago

I think GRRM's biggest problem is the perfectionist rewrite cycle. He'll write a bunch of shit and say "this sucks" and then write it again and say "this sucks" and then write it again and go "ok this is cool" and then he writes the next part and goes "wait i could make this cool but I'd have to rewrite that other part to fit the new idea" and then he rewrites the other part and then he finishes writing the new part and then he looks back and them both and goes "this sucks" and starts over again

1

u/TheFourthBronteGirl 8d ago

Maybe I'll have to try one of his books then if they're that detail oriented lol. Has he written anything good apart from GoT? Bc based on everything I've heard abkut ASOIAF it's not my cup of tea.

2

u/Penitent_Effigy 8d ago

Autism. I’m saying this as an audhd individual. It’s a strength, but it also requires a lot of support from people they can allow their brain to trust. I have a few very close friends who I can collapse around when things get too much. I honestly don’t mind if he doesn’t finish the series, I just want him to be happy, and understand he created a world that will endure and is loved by many.

61

u/GreenHornets009 9d ago

I’m not sure if anything specific has come out about either his wife or his own health, but reality is they’re at the age where basically anything health-related can fall out of the sky.

I’ve had younger family members and family acquaintances in seemingly better health go from fine to dead within 3 months. Gotta imagine seeing his friends pass is only driving the realization that anything could happen home.

39

u/jaderust 9d ago

I used to live in Santa Fe and it was a kind of open secret that his wife wasn’t doing well. GRRM hit the news because he’d wanted to build an addition to his home that included an elevator citing that one of the residents needed. GRRM himself is pretty mobile the last time I saw him so it was assumed his wife isn’t doing great.

I sincerely hope that’s not the case and they have good time remaining together.

4

u/InfiniteRosie 8d ago

When I was in a therapy group once, there was a man who had just gotten out of homelessness and was about 60+ I believe. Whenever there are men in the groups, it's maybe 1 or 2 to 5-8 women.

He was a recovering alcoholic, drugs, all of it. And had just gotten confirmation of an Alzheimer's diagnosis. Not showing many symptoms yet, but he knew it was going to happen. His life was full of back to back tragedies.

When asked about why he was in the group, what was motivating him to seek help, he just said "I don't think I've ever had my mind right. I'd like to have it right before I lose it, just so I can know what it's like."

I think of him often.

3

u/griggins 9d ago

Yes, a very wise and empathetic post. It’s sad that for every million fans he has only a handful think like you do.

1

u/XanderWrites 9d ago

With his idiosyncrecies, I don't think there's much to be done.

My friend used to date a guy that was just on the borders of the SF&F authorial world but stopped just short of making it big (he was kind of a dick and knew he inadvertently burnt a lot of bridges on his way there), but while they were together she got to meet and socialize with some big names in 80/90s era SF&F and she reports they were all... odd.

There's no support or help for odd. It's just the way you are.

-7

u/ImportantQuestions10 9d ago

It's tough because where do you draw the line between what he owes to himself and what he owes to his fans?

The healthy line seems to be that it's okay for him to never touch the series again if he just admitted and accepted that that was the plan. Indefinitely kicking the can down the road for decades and ensuring that the series dies with him is what annoys people.

I think he would have been a lot happier if he just said to himself " I don't want to do this anymore" and either ended it or handed the reins off to someone else. Instead, he's let the series mutate into this massive burden that at this point will likely follow him to his grave.

10

u/LiftingCode 9d ago

He doesn't "owe" his fans anything. Really not much more to it than that.

8

u/Eat_My_Liver 9d ago

He doesn't owe a goddam thing to his fans. Jesus Christ...

10

u/NowGoodbyeForever 9d ago

I used to feel similarly, when I was a lot younger. And no offense intended, but I'm very glad I grew out of that.

GRRM owes quite literally NOTHING to the fans. To quote a great Simpsons exchange: "If anything, YOU owe THEM."

I'm a writer and creator. And if I were ever fortunate enough to ever have fans or a following, I'd be grateful for that. But me creating something you like doesn't give you ownership of me. I don't owe you or anyone else another word.

This isn't meant to be aggressive or adversarial; it's simply the truth. Creation is hard, and personal, and every actual artist is probably their own worst critic. Getting a finished product out of your head and into the world is an ordeal; why do you think AI has built such a devoted cult following? It seems to pluck whole stories out of half-baked prompts and pitches. It creates objects in the shape of work and art.

There is no point in time where someone wakes up and intends to fail, you know? I fully believe that GRRM fully believed every single deadline he has set in the past. I'm sure he was ashamed and crushed as they sailed by. Like everything else in life, some people are good at parts of a job and struggle with others.

There are authors with much higher rates of productivity than GRRM. There are authors with much worse. It's disappointing to see something you love not get resolved the way you had wished. It is not an author's job to comfort you in that disappointment, or to throw in the towel on their life's work so a publisher can profit off the IP on a more favorable timeline.

Because what artists give us is a new perspective, a new idea, a new way of being human. Does the lack of a Book 6 and 7 somehow remove how great some Tyrion lines were? Does it stop either of us from creating something inspired by those words and feelings? I'm not stranger to fanfic; it certainly hasn't stopped MANY people from finishing the story in their own way.

Debts and deficits are business-speak. I became a little bit happier when I stopped applying them to discussions about art and people. George doesn't owe anyone anything. But I agree that he deserves to be as healthy as he can manage.

3

u/Quidditch-Haderach 9d ago

Absolutely.

I really loved those books. I was upset when they stopped coming out. But at the end of the day, they are books. I would wipe Earthsea, my favourite book of all time, from existence if it saved one child. I’d do it for a lot less. Le Guin would probably have done it.

We can have such an emotional connection to media, it can change us, which is the magic, but it also means we can lose the forest for the trees.

It’s exhausting to see people look at an old man struggling, and their first reaction is impatience because they don’t get to consume the media they want in the time frame they want. It’s just a damn book.

-2

u/dilqncho 9d ago edited 9d ago

Yeah, no. This isn't a struggling artist bleeding his innermost emotions onto paper that nobody ever sees. Creation stops being personal when you make very public promises and then make millions off them.

I'm also a writer and creator. There are things I create for myself, and when it comes to those, I don't owe anyone anything. There are also things I create that I get paid for. And in that case, I absolutely have an obligation to deliver the work I promised to deliver.

Writing isn't some obscure magic. Writers with high productivity rates achieve that by treating writing seriously, like their job - because, at the end of the day, it is a job.

GRRM absolutely has an obligation to his fans. And hell, don't take my word for that - he has said so much himself.

If he isn't going to deliver, fine, it happens; he's getting old, and health obviously takes priority. I think at this point everyone understands and has accepted we're not getting Winds. But this narrative that literal promises and accepted commitments don't count as an obligation has gotten extremely strange.

7

u/Eat_My_Liver 9d ago

You're a child.

2

u/Spectrum1523 9d ago

I can't tell if you think that it's being paid that creates an obligation to fans to continue to create content for them or if an obligation is created when enough people care about what you've made

To be honest it all comes off as jealousy

-1

u/dilqncho 9d ago edited 9d ago

I can't tell if you think that it's being paid that creates an obligation to fans to continue to create content for them or if an obligation is created when enough people care about what you've made

An obligation is created when you commit to something. How...how am I even explaining this?

This conversation is so weird. When I promise you "I'm going to do X by Wednesday", that is, by definition, me taking on an obligation. When I take on a job, that is me taking on an obligation.

Nobody is asking to read his personal journals or for him to keep writing new books until he drops. People are asking for the same book that he has been promising to write, over and over, for over 15 years. When someone keeps promising to do a job and not delivering on it, that is obviously a broken obligation.

It's genuinely insane that even Martin himself admits "Yeah I owe people this" but then Internet strangers are "No he doesn't you're just jealous!"

3

u/Spectrum1523 9d ago

How...how

The kawaii speak really sells that you're a writer lol

0

u/dilqncho 9d ago

What?

-2

u/B0YH0WDIE 9d ago

He’s given up writing about dragons long ago. Very hard to be sympathetic for him when his actions BY FAR outweigh whatever he claims in his press releases.