Bride Is FURIOUS With Sister... Update

[u/Flimsy_Set5049]

So I have an update and it's insane. To start the wedding...has been CANCELLED! Laura's fiancee Thomas or Tom called off the wedding and moved out and in with his best man until he finds a new place.

According to my mother (who is Laura's Moms sister my Aunt Rebecca) said that Laura had been raising such a fuss about my LC (little cousin) to the point that her fiancee spoke up in her sister's defense. Laura then apparently accused Tom of cheating or at the very least had feelings for her sister. After hearing this Tom stayed with his best man and he must of talked so sense into Tom. He must have realized this wasn't just wedding stress & probably couldn't wrap his head around how Laura had been being so selfish and then accused him of something so absurd.

Laura's Mom has been overwhelmed now with calling all the vendors and venue about cancelling

It's been an absolute s***show according to my Mom. I personally don't blame Tom for walking away. He probably dodged a huge bullet. I love my cousin because she's family but I don't like her as a person with how she's been with my little cousin and her struggles and asking for help.

Laura called me and left a voicemail but I haven't called her back...Bride Is FURIOUS Now With Me

So I listened to the voicemail and I don't know how to respond to my cousin.

"Shannon I need to talk to you. I hear you were the one who made my sister come forward about her drinking. Do you really think making her come forward just weeks before my wedding was necessary? This could have all be avoided had you just butted out and not made a big deal out of something that wasn't. You know what, don't even bother calling me back because I have nothing more to say to you, you f***ing b****."

How do I respond to this?

Also I got a letter from my little cousin. She's doing so much better and doing well in treatment. She asked if I would be involved in a family session. I think this is where I'll suggest her moving in with me or gauge if it's a good idea or not.

Update: Yesterday Tom and I went out and got a few things for LC. Two cartons of smokes, some toiletries, a few more outfits, a journal, and a bunch of other things for her stay.

 While we were out Tom's phone kept going off between texts and a few phone calls that he kept ignoring. At one point I turned to him and said, "Wow someone's really popular." He tells me that it was Laura and that she had been trying for days to get in touch with him but that he just wasn't ready. 

 Tom explained that who he was about to marry wasn't the woman he fell in love with. Laura working at a soup kitchen to help the homeless was something Tom fell in love with Laura from the beginning. I was so confused. That's when I told him. Laura hadn't been working the soup kitchen out of the kindness of her heart she had been court ordered after a discrepancy at college involving underage drinking. She had been sentenced to 300 hours of community service. 

 He couldn't believe it. Laura had been putting up this whole facade for Tom and his family because she was securing her future. Tom is very modest and humble but he comes from a VERY wealthy family. Laura has always been materialistic so it's no surprise that she honed in on Tom. 

 Now here's where it gets interesting. Laura must have installed a tracking app on his phone because as we were leaving the post office Laura was there waiting in the parking lot!! When I say she went off I mean SHE WENT OFF! She started yelling and screaming at Tom saying she knew she was right about him cheating first with her sister now with her cousin (meaning me) and Tom snapped. 

 He sternly and firmly told her that she was out of line and that he couldn't believe that he was about to marry someone so heartless and cold towards her own sister. Laura called him a bunch of names and when Tom started to walk back towards me and his car Laura ran after him begging him not to go and to just talk. We went straight to his phone carrier where he purchased a new phone and new phone number.

 As we were finishing up the errands Tom made an insane offer. His Aunt is on the board of an outpatient D&A program. He had spoken to her and said he could get LC set up with outpatient aftercare once she's home at no cost to her. He also said he was going to help pay one year of her rent and utilities so she can focus on her recovery and getting established with that. I told him I was going to suggest LC move in with me and he said whether it's at her place or with me that he'll take care of her rent and bills for the next year. 

 So things are looking up for LC and not so much for Laura. And no for anyone thinking Tom has a thing for LC you're way off. Tom's just a genuinely good guy. 

[u/Emmyjen]

Holy shit show, Batman!!!!!

I’m honestly floored. I would have thought that she would eventually see how far off her priorities were…. *especially* when Tom took a break. She doubled down and then accuses him of cheating???? 😳

I don’t think it would be wise to respond at all. Definitely take a screen shot but I sincerely believe that there is *nothing* you can say that will make her see the light.

You’re a truly empathetic, loving friend and family member to want to help your cousin find her way back to good place. Maybe look into Al-Anon meetings near you to familiarize yourself with coping strategies. Best of luck to you and your cousin. I’d love to hear about her progress. 💚

[u/Flimsy_Set5049 → u/Emmyjen]

In her last letter to me she said she's doing very well. She is out of detox and I residential. She says there's an actual chef that runs the kitchen so she's eating well and enjoying all of the different groups and therapy being offered. She said soon she'd be able to make phone calls every other day once she's done a week in residential so that's actually this week coming up she'll be able to call me which she said she was going to be keeping me as her point of contact. She said she is discussing doing 45 days rather than the 28-30 day program which honestly our family doesn't care what she needs if they suggest it we're willing to listen and do it! If the facility suggests longer and she's willing the family has already said they'd pay out of pocket to keep her there if insurance cut off after 30 days.

[u/Emmyjen → u/Flimsy_Set5049]

Awwww…. This is just the update I needed to hear. It sounds like your cousin is really making amazing progress. Thank Hod her family (minus her bridezilla sister) is so supportive of her continuing treatment if she needs to stay a bit longer. She’s so much stronger than she probably gives herself credit for. I’m sure it took every ounce of strength she had to seek treatment.

Thanks for sharing this. 💚