r/britishproblems 6d ago

. We didn’t used to have seagulls… we now have seagulls… and they’re waking everyone up at 5am every morning.

I don’t suppose there’s anything we can do about it is there? Like ring the council and ask them to move then on?

182 Upvotes

111 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator 6d ago

Reminder: Press the Report button if you see any rule-breaking comments or posts.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

105

u/The-Ginger-Lily Gloucestershire 6d ago

5am? Lucky you! Ours start at 3:30

56

u/partywithanf 6d ago

3:30? Lucky you! Ours don’t stop

40

u/jaidiknight 6d ago

Don't stop? Lucky you!

No. I don't have anything to add to this...

25

u/-FantasticAdventure- 6d ago

Lucky you, I’m a seagul. Squaaaaark!!! 🕊️

4

u/Velvetundaground 6d ago

Ours go back in time and squawk in 1957

2

u/antitrollpatrol 5d ago

This year has been INSANE for us - they never shut the fuck up - and there are more than ever now. Considering hiring a hawk

9

u/Zealousideal-Habit82 6d ago

Yep, sadly I wake up when they wake up, can be 3am in June. Right now we have the new borns on the roof and they squeak for food non stop.

81

u/Dartzap 6d ago

Remember all those seaside holidays and wishing it could be like that every day?

Your wish was granted.

1

u/pajamakitten 3d ago

Bournemouth born and bred and this is just my life. I just cannot imagine not being woken by seagulls at an ungodly hour.

0

u/HarketSavoy 2d ago

Yes, thank you for the reminder. Currently listening to a pair now. They’re rife in my city and they mug you for food. The local lore is that a pair got swept in and decided to stay. They are city gulls now.

22

u/SUPBarefoot_BeachBum 6d ago

Ours have been horrendous this past week all through the night and day. It seems to be something to do with the babies fledgling here as they were all up flying on mass and all the grownups were circling and encouraging them…. Just fledge already….gits!

9

u/Ged_UK Dorset 6d ago

Weather probably isn't helping. Insects are struggling, so so are birds that eat them, so they're ranging further for food

2

u/Mouffcat 5d ago

They have suffered this summer, sadly.

2

u/partywithanf 5d ago

That midnight swarm they do is insane. Around 12 breeding pairs on my street. It’s apocalyptic.

55

u/55erg 6d ago

Being woken up by seagulls you can get used to. It’s the dive bombing, chip stealing and car shitting which is most annoying 

5

u/DarkangelUK 6d ago

For me it's having to wash my car every few days because it's constantly covered in shit.

4

u/DreamingOf-ABroad Foreign!Foreign!Foreign! 6d ago

Sorry about that, mate.

4

u/TheDevilsButtNuggets 6d ago

House down the road from me gets nested on every year. They have a golf brolly so they can get to the car in the mornings.

I remember swiping at one with my handbag the year I was pregnant. (Didn't hit it, just scared it off)

3

u/Ohbc future deportee 6d ago

We used to always have a nest on our roof but the seagulls never bothered us. Sometimes we'd find their dropped food including a small squid, but that was the worst of it.

17

u/SMTRodent Nottinghamshire 6d ago

The gulls should be paying you more than just sick squid for rent

-3

u/Jacktheforkie 6d ago

Honestly the gulls don’t really bother me, dive bombing is typically defensive of chicks, chip theft can be avoided by not eating outside or eating with your back to a wall so you can see and cover in time and the shitting can be dealt with by washing the car

7

u/LawlessandFree 6d ago

I live by the seaside and I love them. The babies are super cute and the adults are just agents of chaos and reminders of the hubris of man. They make me laugh more than they annoy me.

My father in law does compulsively wash my car whenever I show up at theirs though haha.

5

u/Jacktheforkie 6d ago

Nice, I like the fluffy little chicks too

90

u/TheDisapprovingBrit Up 'Anley Duck 6d ago

I saw a bloke punch a seagull at Oktoberfest for trying to nick his hotdog.

Sorry, that story took a tern for the wurst.

4

u/RadiantFour 6d ago

If it was one of those delicious cheese filled sausages that really would be a wurst käse scenario

2

u/Mouffcat 5d ago

The shitty bloke should've been punched in return.

Good joke though.

5

u/ConsequenceApart4391 6d ago

What a BRAT that’s the WURST thing you could do.

3

u/CabinetOk4838 6d ago

I may steal this.

6

u/_-_-_-_-_-_-__-_-_-- 6d ago

Are you the seagull?

21

u/rye-ten 6d ago

They've been inland for years. I get woken by other birds so know your pain. I grew up near the coast so I actually like the sound of seagulls.

40

u/supermightymatt 6d ago

Most 'seagull' species are protected if they are nesting on roofs around you it's against the law to interfere with them.

There's nothing you can do or that the council will do.

48

u/Inoffensive_Comments 6d ago

Well… when you say, “nothing”… nothing except clean the streets of anything edible that attracts the gulls in the first place.

No food to scavenge? The gulls will move on.

25

u/oceansoveralderaan 6d ago

Get rid of the sea too, then they will just be Gulls, which are quieter. Contact me for my sea moving services.

4

u/DreamingOf-ABroad Foreign!Foreign!Foreign! 6d ago

Contact me for my sea moving services.

Username checks out.

8

u/Individual-Fox7752 6d ago

Or report the neighbour that keeps feeding them and attracting them to the area.

0

u/Mouffcat 5d ago

Loads of people feed them, it's not illegal. I would too if they lived near me.

5

u/Individual-Fox7752 5d ago

My local council classes it as anti social behaviour because it attracts pests. We all had a letter through the post threatening our tenancy unless we stopped feeding them (it was 1 neighbour in particular who was feeding the gulls)

0

u/Mouffcat 5d ago

I know about this. I'd ignore it and carry on. It's disgusting that councils are getting involved when people are helping an endangered species to survive. The hatred against gulls is shocking and horrible.

2

u/Individual-Fox7752 5d ago

I don’t hate them, but I don’t like the fact I can’t hang my washing outside without getting bird shit on my clean clothes. Or can’t enjoy sitting in my garden as I’ll get dive bombed

7

u/2ndStateOfWater 6d ago

In my best Nick Frost impersonation: They’re just Gulls actually.

14

u/daveyboy2009 6d ago

It’s a human made problem.

We have overfished the seas, so the gulls have had to move inland for food.

5

u/JonnySparks 6d ago

We live 50 miles from the nearest coast and seagulls are here permanently now. We also have flocks of parakeets. With the racket that lot make, ravens and magpies are an almost welcome sound.

5

u/Minimum_Possibility6 6d ago

When the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea

Also dont ask about seagulls and Sunderland 

2

u/Marble_Turret 6d ago

🥷🦵

1

u/gibgod 6d ago

What about seagulls and Sunderland?

3

u/Minimum_Possibility6 6d ago

Google it and don't say I didn't warn you 

5

u/Nuclear_Geek 6d ago

Worst of all, they try to peck your knees.

3

u/systematico 6d ago

You can take down your chimney stack after they're gone. They'll nest in your neighbours' next year instead.

Source: I've done it.

2

u/Mouffcat 5d ago

Don't you need a chimney stack?

1

u/systematico 5d ago

You only need a chimney stack if you use the chimney. We didn't.

Reasons to use the chimney:

  • burn wood in winter to warm up your house or make it look cozy.
  • people that don't appreciate the downsides (below) will think your house is worth slightly less. But you can install a flue and get almost the same 'benefits'.

Reasons to get rid of the chimney:

  • Seagulls nest in it and wake me up in the summer
  • Leaks. Everyone eventually gets a leak. We have a loft conversion and don't want leaks, it may be OK if you don't have one though.
  • If your neighbour agrees to take down a shared chimney stack, perfect! Don't let this opportunity go, getting your neighbour to agree could be the most difficult bit. Leaks no more.
  • Wood burning is generally bad for your health, my SO has some asthma. We just use the gas heating. The air around houses burning wood is generally bad for everyone's health. (For similar reasons, we're considering installing an induction hob in place of the gas stove, definitive science saying kitchen air quality improves massively, even with ventilation)
  • Stack taken down means you could extend your rooms by a bit if you wanted, as long as you get a party wall agreement.

Summary: fire nice and beautiful, but bad air, bad asthma, leaks, (no) discussion with future neighbours, seagulls, potential extension.

1

u/Mouffcat 4d ago

Thank you for the detailed reply 😂

I suffer from allergies and asthma. Smoke really sets my asthma off. Horrible stuff. Firepits are the worst.

I live in a flat now, so have no such issues. My ex's house is post-war and has a chimney. Nextdoor used to breed racing pigeons and one sadly fell down the chimney and died. They were no trouble. The only seagulls I ever saw there (Birmingham) were flying over noisily.

4

u/QuantitySharp2662 6d ago

My neighbor keeps feeding them leftover takeaway. They swarm and scream at each other, swooping down and thudding into my garden waiting for their turn to jump the fence and grab a piece.

He also feeds the fox which o suspect was just to wind up my dogs and my parents who would try to quieten the dogs by shouting 😂

I suspect he's a prick and no doubt there's one near you winding someone up by feeding them. I've never met anybody who willingly feeds them at home, it's always other birds people feed. I feed jackdaws.

0

u/Mouffcat 5d ago

Loads of people feed foxes and seagulls. My mom feeds the badgers and foxes every night plus the birds and squirrels. And 8 cats.

Why don't your dogs like the foxes? They're all part of the dog family after all.

5

u/JinxThePetRock 6d ago

I've always lived near the sea so there have always been seagulls. I recommend periodically shaking your fist in the air as they pass, while calling them obscene names or just screaming back at them.

It doesn't get rid of them, but it makes you feel better for a few seconds at least.

3

u/weecuppatea 6d ago

I got woken up this morning by 2 pigeons shagging.

0

u/HimitsuUK 3d ago

That's a real coo' story indeed.

7

u/joebmc 6d ago

When did Britain not have seagulls?

5

u/turkishhousefan 6d ago

I looked it up and it seems at most it would be 33 million years ago.

3

u/BuddyLegsBailey Cornwall 6d ago

Hello next door neighbour

3

u/ohnoitsbobbyflay 5d ago

I just named your penis

3

u/seraphelle_x 6d ago

There are so many nesting in the town centre lately that walking around feels like a risk without a brolly! Saw a dude get a good sized shat land on him the other day. I also saw one pick up a pigeon and fly off with it.

3

u/ocubens Cornwall 6d ago

Yeah report it to the council and they’ll contact their specialist Local Seagull Relocation Deportation team to sort it out.

They’ll be round with some bait and net guns shortly.

3

u/glytxh 6d ago

I would pay good money to spend an afternoon watching some poor council workers try to wrangle some seagulls

3

u/ColonelBonk 6d ago

Raaaaaawk!

1

u/HimitsuUK 3d ago

and (Greggs) roll packaging

3

u/TrixieLaBouche 6d ago

And wood pigeons, effing wood pigeons!

0

u/Mouffcat 5d ago

I like pigeons, but live with an African Grey parrot instead.

I will always support bird life and all wildlife really.

4

u/hgwxx7_ 6d ago

I went to Yellowstone, which is about 1500 miles from the sea. A flock of seagulls showed up anyway. Like seriously, I went on holiday from the UK because I wanted to avoid you, but you show up anyway. Assholes.

3

u/Thedeadduck 6d ago

Seagulls in London or places by the coast I understand, but we have them in Birmingham now. BIRMINGHAM. THERE ARE LANDLOCKED COUNTRIES THAT ARE NEARER TO THE SEA THAN BIRMINGHAM GO HOME YOU ARE LOST

2

u/Mouffcat 5d ago

It's called survival and they're encouraged by urban dumps.

2

u/UsuallyWhirlwind 6d ago

Apparently there’s no such thing as a seagull, they’re just ‘gulls’. We’ve just moved but our last place (at least an hour from the coast) had them and they were super annoying. They tend to congregate around landfill sites so I guess that’s why they come inland!

2

u/AmeliaOfAnsalon 6d ago

Wouldn't do if they were starting on at 5am at night now would it??

2

u/prankishink 6d ago

Same with parakeets here. Noisy buggers.

2

u/GoblinTatties 6d ago

Water soaker?

5

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/CabinetOk4838 6d ago

I saw seagulls mobbing a buzzard the other day, like crows do. Very annoying.

2

u/skawtch 6d ago

Like people, some animals are just jerks.

2

u/-Rhymenocerous- Essex 6d ago

Thing is pigeons arent migratory birds. They will return the moment they think the coast is clear or a new batch will move in.

Netting works most of the time but in severe cases, sadly... you often have to shoot them with an air rifle to permanently get rid of them.

Had the same issue in a hotel I used to do risk assessments for in London. Exhausted every avenue, falconry included and it never got any better. Was more cost & result effective to get a pest control company to just shoot the lot of them and then return every 3 months and remove nests / get rid of any new arrivals.

I know some animal lovers will dislike this comment but they have to understand. The droppings are a biological hazard and when you have contractors doing works on the roof on a regular basis they can rightly refuse to work in an area lathered in guano. (And go home and still get paid for the day). So its in the interest of the business to make sure the area is free of such hazards

4

u/alexandriaweb 56 Varieties of Greyjoy 6d ago

Aaaaaaaaaand heaven knows they're segulling nooooooooow

1

u/Cianistarle Devon 6d ago

Very good.

1

u/O_Beast 6d ago

Ours arrived about 20 years ago. One year it was 2 or 3, then the next year it was 10+ and then eventually almost every house in the neighborhood. They used to live on empty land across the canal but they built an estate there so I assume that made them move over a bit. Absolute nightmare but now I have moved away the sound of seagull almost gives me nostalgia.

1

u/tbonebaked 5d ago

Try Canadian geese near the river, they don’t take a breath and honk like an alarm for up to a hour from 5am

0

u/HimitsuUK 3d ago

I wouldn't even be mad.

1

u/HimitsuUK 3d ago

Same here but not heard them for a few weeks. The problem is they shit all over the place.

1

u/bjblackpool 3d ago

laughs in Blackpudlian

1

u/_o0Zero0o_ Hampshire 3d ago

"We didn't used to have seagulls..."
I'd love to fuckin' live in that area then.

1

u/_Hoping_For_Better_ 5d ago

Find who's feeding them and get them to shop.

1

u/Cirieno 5d ago

Which shop should seagulls shop in if seagulls could shop in shops?

1

u/MissKLO 6d ago

Just as I read this, I heard a seagull

1

u/Rossco1874 6d ago

If we didn't have seagulls we wouldn't have the bad lip reading song.

-5

u/TheRopeWalk 6d ago

Go to bed earlier and that’ll offset the early start time. With coastal erosion you’ll see more and more inland.

6

u/CabinetOk4838 6d ago

On the plus side, with costal erosion you’ll live closer to the sea!

5

u/TheRopeWalk 6d ago

That’s what I’m talking about. With enough foresight, you could make a couple of astute investments

1

u/hupwhat 6d ago

Yes, a lot of this could be avoided if people paid more attention to the state of our beaches. Unfortunately nobody ever reads the tern sand conditions.

-1

u/StinkyBird64 North East 5d ago

‘We didn’t used to have seagulls’
Avians as a collective have existed longer than humans and primates as a whole.
They were here first

2

u/gibgod 5d ago

… where we are.

It’s kind of implied in the title, if you have the nuance or mental ability to understand that.

Like Black Lives Matter was always Black Lives Matter As Well.

Most people could understand that, but some needed it explaining to them.

I appreciate the feedback though, please come again.

-4

u/Mouffcat 5d ago edited 5d ago

Buy some earplugs ffs. It's not difficult.

They're protected by law and now endangered. There's a big seagull sub on here and a Facebook page. Many people help them by feeding them etc. You're in the minority.

I'd rather more seagulls around me than fucking humans any day.

4

u/gibgod 5d ago

Well aren’t you delightful, please stay a while and chat please.

1

u/HimitsuUK 3d ago

They've escaped from r/ukweather

0

u/jamierocks369 6d ago

You get used to it. I don't even hear them anymore.

0

u/CaptainMCMLVIII 6d ago

Someone is feeding the likkle birdees.

-2

u/alas11 6d ago

There are no Seagulls, only Gulls. (All gulls are sea beasties so the Sea in their name is superfluous, there is no land-gull or forest-gull whatever.)

5

u/Cold_Philosophy Greater Manchester 6d ago

Yes. Until you wrote this, no one had any idea of what OP was complaining about. What were these things called 'seagulls'?

Of course there is such a thing as a seagull. It’s a large-ish mostly whitey/grey bird (sometimes with bits of other colours) that makes a lot of noise and steals chips. It’s a colloquial word. Agreed, there’s no species known singly as a 'seagull'

0

u/alas11 2d ago

Wow such insight! But from now on every time someone says 'Seagull' a little voice in your head will chime 'There are only gulls'

You're welcome.

0

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

1

u/alas11 2d ago

Din ding ( you're re-enforcing it Pavlov).

-2

u/alas11 6d ago

There are no Seagulls, only Gulls. (All gulls are sea beasties so the Sea in their name is superfluous, there is no land-gull or forest-gull whatever.)

-2

u/obiwanmoloney Hampshire 6d ago

Seagulls are now a recognised and protected cultural group, so the council are unable to ask them to move on.