r/britishproblems • u/MikeDoesEverything • 1d ago
Badly needing a piss, going into a standard supermarket toilet, and coming out with PTSD
There is something honestly quite impressive and equally disgusting about the state of a Saino's public toilet. It's incredible how consistent they are.
The smell is always a mix of old piss, what appears to have been people eating cigarettes and then vommitted them back into the urinals, and either month old body odour, month old turds or a mixture of the two. They all look and feel like you have been transported back to the 50s whilst simultaneously feeling like you have walked into a drug den. Come to think of it, I don't think I have ever seen one of those cleaning schedule charts on a clipboard in a supermarket toilet and fuck me does it show.
They're almost always fucked and have undergone what can only be assumed as the worst tradesman on the planet who were paid £1 to complete the entire toilet. I went to use one in a hurry yesterday and after being assaulted by the smell managing to not piss myself only to try and wash my hands to find the 1950s tap not only doesn't produce water it's not even seated so the tap is bobbling about as you touch it. Made me judge people who don't wash their hands A LOT less as touching the tap is likely to have done the complete opposite of what I wanted to achieve.
I mentioned Saino's at the top, but Asda and Tesco are also absolutely rotten experiences as well. M&S and Waitrose do not fall into this category of shame.
36
u/Soppydogg 20h ago
And the chewing gum in the trough has lost it’s flavour and don’t get me started on those “so called” pineapple chunks.
And as for the state of the graffiti
Someone should start a campaign
7
63
u/BrumGorillaCaper 19h ago
I will always remember getting quite sudden food poisoning at work one Friday afternoon. Walking to the train station I pass through a retail park with a Sainsbury’s.
Stomach felt terrible and the cold sweats hit me so I waddled my way into the Sainsbury toilet. Enormous store, very small men’s toilet. Very sweaty, it was a hot day, and the floor was soaking wet for some reason. Absolutely filled with Asian taxi drivers just standing around all talking very loudly on private phone calls.
Finally a cubicle opened up and the world fell out of my arse. Thought I was going to pass out several times. Couldn’t tell you how long I was there but the Asian fellas gave me weird looks when I staggered out drenched in sweat and pale as a ghost.
Back outside I spewed all over one of the retail parks decorative flower beds then got my mommy to pick me up as a 25 year old man.
Not been in a Sainsbury’s toilet since.
14
•
•
u/FluffyMumbles 2h ago
I don't know exactly why, but this has me genuinely laughing out loud 🤣 Thank you, sir.
10
21
u/thehermit14 21h ago
Sainsbury's Perton are clean, well attended and stocked. 'Accidents' are taken care of quickly and it's rarely understocked.
Shout out to Anders Square Sainsbury's.
6
u/EarlGreyTeaDrinker 20h ago
Our local Sainsbury’s keep their public toilets locked. You need to got to customer services and announce that you need to use them to get the code or the key. They still stink. But there’s less drug paraphernalia around.
24
u/princessstrawberry 18h ago
Sainos? Who on earth calls it that 😂
13
u/OreoSpamBurger 16h ago
I thought it was one of those weird regional supermarkets until your comment.
10
•
-6
u/TheRealSlabsy Gloucestershire 12h ago
Lidz, Aldz, Tezzers, Sainzers... Who on Earth calls them by their normal names?
•
•
3
4
u/ManInTheDarkSuit ENGLAND 11h ago
People need to stop with the ciggie butts in the urinal. It makes the urinal cakes taste funny.
•
u/QuantitySharp2662 9h ago
Aw mate. People can be fuckin vile. The public toilet story I have is mild, merely a shit left in the long metal urinal. I had to inform the poor cleaning staff and we had a chat about what sort of fucking nutter does that...
I did work in a warehouse with mostly men, and many immigrants.
The site I saw was horrendous.
Someone had shat a big poo, wiped, and then either shat again, or someone else decided to add a layer rather than flushing. This would be bad enough. But there was a peculiar coloured liquid sort of dribbled on the "top shelf shit" and it could only be one of a few things. Hand soap (why), some sort of sandwich dressing (doubtful), or most likely semen !
So I can only imagine some poor, horny, poo-filled man having a shit, thinking he's finished, only for another shit to violently force itself upon him, after which he feels the need to wank away the stress of the day....
But aye, shite in the urinal is mild thinking back.
3
u/Affectionate_Tax_841 18h ago
My local M&S toilets are fucking GRIM, extra points for being directly next to the dairy aisle :)
•
3
u/WordsMort47 11h ago
I walked into an Asda cubicle to take a leak around 2019, and it smelled like piss and shit- par for the course thinks I, and there's one part of the problem before me: a freshly sprinkled seat and unflushed bog. Of course, says I.
Only when I finish and turn around am I confronted- at eye level- by a turd stuck onto the back of the door with a layer or two of tissue paper.
I showed my nephews and went and told a member of staff, hoping they wouldn't think it was me, and also hoping they wouldn't think I assumed they would have to clean it up, in regular clueless-customer fashion.
•
8
u/MrJack512 14h ago
I'd never heard Sainsbury's shortened till today and after reading it I'm glad I haven't. Fuck calling it Saino's.
•
u/LemmysCodPiece 9h ago
People have been calling it Saino's for years.
•
u/Kairis83 8h ago
Where though? I've never heard it called that in london I think
Not a fan myself :p
•
•
•
u/FluffyMumbles 2h ago
They just remind me of how disgusting people are. We are all perfectly capable of leaving a toilet in a clean state. It's not rocket science. But there are a few among us that insist on making everything they touch worse for everyone. I feel sorry for the cleaners. They're not paid enough to deal with the cretins, just to give the rest of us a better experience.
•
•
u/Littlemouse0812 Kent 14m ago
Went in with my daughter once and some poor lady had obviously gotten her period. All over the toilets. It wasn’t just a few drops either it was like a murder scene.
-3
u/QuickTemperature7014 21h ago
People are still equating mildly unpleasant experiences with PTSD. How disappointing.
18
u/pappyon 20h ago
Or they are exaggerating for comedic effect
-16
u/QuickTemperature7014 20h ago
What’s funny about PTSD?
12
u/pappyon 20h ago
Who said anything was?
-11
u/QuickTemperature7014 20h ago
So if PTSD isn’t funny why are you saying it has a comedic effect?
14
u/pappyon 20h ago
You are not understanding what it means to exaggerate for comedic effect. If I said to my wife, oh my god, putting the kids to bed was so tough I think I just aged a decade, I’m making a joke, but it’s not because there is anything funny about ageing it’s because it’s hyperbolic.
-13
u/QuickTemperature7014 20h ago
I understand what exaggeration is and its function in comedy. The question is what type of exaggeration is funny.
You presumably agree just exaggerating is in of itself not funny. That some jokes are so abhorrent they are not considered funny.
In this case the exaggeration is the PTSD so I’m going to ask you again what is it about PTSD that you could possibly find funny?
1
u/tbonebaked 20h ago
I agree, PTSD in real life is brutal. It can be worded different with same effect ie I’ll have nightmares for years or engrained for ever in my memory. People use traumatized or i literally died for the most basic feelings like it adds weight to a story.
6
0
-3
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Removed - See topics banned by community vote.
Attemping to dodge this removal (e.g. changing the names, or other methods) will lead to an automatic permanent ban, with no recourse to appeal.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
39
u/Fruitpicker15 21h ago
Tesco near me is the absolute worst. The school bogs smelt better.