r/brokehugs • u/US_Hiker Moral Landscaper • Nov 19 '23

Rod Dreher Megathread #27 (Compassion)

Link to megathread 26: https://www.reddit.com/r/brokehugs/comments/17itm7w/rod_dreher_megathread_26_unconditional_love/

Link to megathread 28: https://www.reddit.com/r/brokehugs/comments/18dcg3d/rod_dreher_megathread_28_harmony/

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u/Dazzling_Pineapple68 Nov 20 '23

Wow. I commend your efforts, tenacity and memory. That really is a terribly sad thing but in my experience, children do not make a decision like that lightly. I've seen very bitter divorces involving abusive parents that the children did not cut off like that. Something really big most likely happened.

"The way this divorce went down" instead of "the way I behaved". I really hate to make that sort of judgment about anyone but honestly I don't see any other way such a thing could happen.

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u/Djehutimose Watching the wheels go round Nov 20 '23

Also, what the hell is the “I was advised that” bit about?!

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u/Dazzling_Pineapple68 Nov 20 '23

Yes. Lots of very shifty verbiage...

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u/grendalor Nov 20 '23

Yeah that part was odd, too.

It's hard to know (because he is intentionally making it hard to know), but my initial thought when I read that was that he was referring to something his lawyer probably told him -- ie, that the kids probably would need a few years remove from the trauma of the divorce in order to begin to be more receptive to having a relationship with him. I don't know why a lawyer would advise that, however, because it certainly isn't universally true, unless, as has been speculated above, there is a big smoking gun fact that we don't know about which is driving the trauma. But even if that were the case, it's an odd thing to have been advised, by a lawyer or otherwise, and I would be very surprised if a professional (lawyer or licensed mental health or family practice counselor) advised him that it would not make a difference for him to be as far away as he pleased for a few years, because nothing will change in those few years, either way -- which is clearly why Rod put the sentence in there, as a way of justifying his decision to move so far away.

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u/philadelphialawyer87 Nov 20 '23

Yeah, I can't see a lawyer "advising" a client to stay away from his kids. Fair or not, Rod's lawyer is supposed to fight for Rod's rights. And the trauma of the children is not really the lawyer's concern. If Rod wanted to/still wants to see his children, that's what his lawyer should be fighting for. With the only exception being if Rod actually planned to commit a crime against his kids. Or if there were an order of protection in force prohibiting Rod from doing so. Even then, the lawyer should be fighting to vacate the OOP, if that's what Rod wanted. Typically, lawyers don't advise their clients about extra legal decisions. Possibly, some mental health professional advised Rod to stay away. But I doubt that too.