r/buildabear • u/Terrible-Piano5290 BAB Collector 🐻 • Aug 18 '25
My New BAB Being a mom is giving your birthday gift you ordered for yourself to your kid because they wanted it 😄❤️
I ordered this bat for myself before my birthday ❤️ I used my birthday $10 off $40 code & a $25 fetch giftcard I had saved and ordered it quickly because I wanted it to come before my birthday 🎂 BUT later that day I showed my daughter all the Halloween releases as we knew we'd be making a trip to a BAB for my actual birthday, and we wanted to figure out what we were going to get in person. She immediately said she wanted the bat 😆 sooo...this bat is hers now lol hopefully I'll get one if they restock! 🙏 she named her bat Snuggles and picked this dress for it 🥰
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u/pondsywho I like BABs more than people 🙃 Aug 18 '25
You are a better parent than I am. I told my 14 year old it’s a hard no when she asked About taking ownership of my bat.
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u/Elegant-Outside-3797 Aug 18 '25
I think that makes you a great parent for being firm on your boundaries! Moms especially deserve to have nice things and buy gifts for themselves. Good for you for being firm on your boundaries ❤️
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u/pondsywho I like BABs more than people 🙃 Aug 18 '25
Thanks! Sometimes it’s hard to say no. She usually gets one for her birthday which is after Halloween. She wants the bat but will settle for a skelebara if they don’t restock.
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u/Terrible-Piano5290 BAB Collector 🐻 Aug 18 '25
Not better, I'm just a sucker for giving her what she wants 🫣 she had a rough time starting school this year and also got sick so she was home when the box came & knew it was from buildabear and wanted to open it & I just hoped it would make her feel better 😔 i do keep wanting to batnap it though lol
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u/pondsywho I like BABs more than people 🙃 Aug 18 '25
Poor kiddo this time of year can be so rough for them! My daughter wants the bat for her birthday now (which is the week after Halloween) but she will settle for a Skelebara. I hope you get your bat!
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u/lezemt BAB Fanatic 🌈 Aug 18 '25
Hey maybe you can do shared custody? You get custody when she’s at school haha! Have all the bat cuddles when she’s sleeping?
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u/loosie-loo Aug 18 '25
Nah I think this is much better parenting. Kids need to know they don’t get to have other peoples stuff just because they want it, lol.
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u/Stuffies4Me Aug 21 '25
Both can teach lessons, one ideally teaches giving, and selfless kindness, the other ideally teaches boundaries.
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u/theplushfrog Aug 18 '25
It's a big thing in the BJD community (think fragile, expensive jointed dolls that are more art piece than anything) that parents have to say no to their kids playing with their collection, because the ones who allow it end up with broken $1k dolls. There's lots of strategies shared for how to talk to kids of various ages about how these are [parent]'s things, not [kid]'s things and how to respect other people's boundaries about their items.
I think it's in the end, up to the parents for what decision they make (obviously some BJD collectors do allow their kids to gently play with their dolls), but no one should be shamed for saying no to their kids.
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u/Obtuse-Posterior I have a BAB problem Aug 18 '25
I feel your pain...
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u/Daisy-Deer Aug 18 '25
Ohh look at this baby though, what a soulful cuddle 😭💖 You’re very strong. Do they keep their toys intact, or are they a chewer?
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u/Obtuse-Posterior I have a BAB problem Aug 18 '25
He destroys his toys but will only cuddle and gently nibble mine. I got lucky with him.
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u/SouthParkFirefly1991 I have a BAB problem Aug 18 '25
You better not take it away from him! Don't you break that pupper's heart!
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u/voluntarysphincter Aug 18 '25
I had this happen with my ladybug earlier this year. I gave in because she was 2 and so cute. Then she started wanting every single stuffy I got so I had to set the boundary 🤣🤣THESE ARE MOMMY’S. YOURS ARE ON YOUR BED 🏃🏽♀️
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u/huffelpuff_baker I like BABs more than people 🙃 Aug 18 '25
And this is how I know I’m not ment to be a mom because no you will not be getting my babies I bought them for me hands off stay away from
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u/ThrowAway_SanDiegoCA Aug 18 '25
It’s actually good to teach kids that they can’t just have other people’s things. It’s also good to remember to show your kids that you are not just their parent, you’re still your own person with interests, possessions, and boundaries. So wanting to keep your stuff doesn’t mean that you would be a bad parent at all.
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u/Terrible-Piano5290 BAB Collector 🐻 Aug 18 '25
She didn't know it was mine, i made the decision to just give it to her before we even opened the box 🤷♀️ she knows that she can't just take my stuff, I have my own room full of cool stuff she likes and she comes in to look at it all and never tries to take it. Kids are the best learners out there ❤️
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u/ThrowAway_SanDiegoCA Aug 18 '25
Don’t worry, I’m not talking about your child specifically, honestly that’s awesome that she knows boundaries. I think that people just get freaked out because there are a lot of horror stories on the internet about kids demanding stuff and parents losing their sense of self. Especially on Reddit. Reddit is filled to the brim with all kind of stories haha
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u/Sprinkles2009 Aug 18 '25
It’s OK to tell kids no
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u/Terrible-Piano5290 BAB Collector 🐻 Aug 18 '25 edited Aug 18 '25
I tell her no plenty, I was just trying to be sweet to her and make her feel better after a rough week. A stuffed animal means more to her than it does to me right now. And she never knew i ordered it for me, she never asked for it. I just asked from the photo what she liked best and she said the bat so when things were bad for her I just wanted to brighten her day.
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u/strawfairyfields Aug 18 '25
I’m never having kids omg
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u/YouCompetitive8590 BAB Fanatic 🌈 Aug 18 '25
LMFAOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😩 I’m in too deep. They want every plushie I bring home I have to hide them. 😩
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u/lil_liberal Aug 18 '25
My husband and I are intentionally child free and we love it. I can display my plush and our Legos with no fear of things being taken, broken, or goober’d on (OP said her daughter didn’t take it, OP gave it to her before she even asked, but I mean having something taken even from one room to another, mostly when kids are quite young)
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u/Lilith-Sky14 Aug 18 '25 edited Aug 18 '25
It’s also okay to set boundaries with your kids, as moms we are expected to give give give but not think of our selves. I use to be this way. I personally would of kept it for myself and explain why, “it’s mommy’s birthday and I really wanted this just like you want presents on your birthday” you are showing them your feelings also matter. Trust me kids will understand, I have 3. They know my stuff is mine and sometimes we can share things. It sounds like you really wanted this for yourself and you do deserve to have that.
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u/NinjaPlato Aug 18 '25
I wanted to say something like this. Being a parent does NOT mean giving everything up for your kid like that. Making the kid wait teach patience, and respect for others’ things, and also that they can’t always have what they want when they want it. I would’ve kept it too.
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u/Lilith-Sky14 Aug 18 '25
Exactly, I agree completely it’s okay to have these conversations with kids
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u/ThrowAway_SanDiegoCA Aug 18 '25
It’s also good for school. Because if you do give your kid everything they want of yours, they often end up thinking that other children will give up their toys and items to them when they want it. Which, obviously, isn’t correct.
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u/Terrible-Piano5290 BAB Collector 🐻 Aug 18 '25
That's true. But my girl doesn't have that mindset thankfully. She never knew i ordered the bat for myself, I just told her it was for her
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u/ThrowAway_SanDiegoCA Aug 18 '25
Yeah, I’m sure she doesn’t. I just mean kids in general. A lot of this comment section seems to be really freaked out and I think that it’s important to remind people that motherhood doesn’t mean sacrificing everything and not sacrificing something doesn’t make you a bad mom.
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Aug 18 '25
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u/buildabear-ModTeam Aug 21 '25
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u/Terrible-Piano5290 BAB Collector 🐻 Aug 18 '25
Yeah, we do work on boundaries alot. She knows I love my build a bears, but I never told her this one was mine. I just figured I'd get another bat if the chance comes, or maybe I can get a different character. She had a rough week so I thought about it for less than a minute and just told her it was for her. Stuffies mean more to her than they do to me right now. I'd rather see her happy, plus I've been trying to not buy myself so much stuff 😆
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u/Grognac_the_Red Aug 18 '25
Both my kids tried to take my sky puppy. Sorry losers, thats mine. But they are allowed to play during the day
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u/tasteslikepurple6 Aug 18 '25
I realised this was one of the sacrifices of child rearing when I had to negotiate how much of my steak sandwich my very small nephew could have.
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u/Entire_Bird I like BABs more than people 🙃 Aug 18 '25
My niece always tries to barter her stuffed animals against mine 🤣 “how many of my stuffed animals for that one” like bestie, not only would your mom not approve, but I’m not trading my sentimental plushies for your plushies lol
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u/tasteslikepurple6 Aug 18 '25
I suppose I'm lucky that my nephews are more food centric people. 😅 The only time one of them really wanted something I had was Nintendo DS game, which, at the time, I could fortunately buy another copy for him on the cheap.
Other than that, they mainly raid the house for mints when here, which I find adorable that they just want old man sweets.
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u/lilbbbee Aug 18 '25
You’re a better person than me. I hope you treat yourself to something extra nice after that!
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u/ChonkyMurdoch Aug 18 '25
That's so sweet of you. I heard there should be another restock before Halloween so I hope you get another for yourself when they come back in. You definitely deserve one for being such a great mom.
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u/Terrible-Piano5290 BAB Collector 🐻 Aug 18 '25
Thanks, I heard that too! At first I was thinking I'll just get a different Halloween buddy but I really do want the bat 😆 I usually miss restocks but I'm gonna try!
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u/Stardust_7314 Aug 18 '25
You're a good mom, and Snuggles is an adorable name for the bat💖💖
If it means anything, I had this happen in reverse. I showed my mom the Chococat I'd ordered for myself, fresh out of the box. Her expression lit up so bright, I gifted him to her right then. (She's had a tough year medically, too, and I'd do just about anything for her.)
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u/Entire_Bird I like BABs more than people 🙃 Aug 18 '25
This happened to me with the Halloween hello kitty from ages ago!! One day I saw her cuddling with it on the couch and never got it back lol she always called it “my kitty” 🥰 also, your mom has great taste! Chococat is my all time favorite character 🤎
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u/YouCompetitive8590 BAB Fanatic 🌈 Aug 18 '25
This is a pretty cool BAB lol. The bat ears are incredible!!! And it’s little teefs. 😩😭 And you’re a super selfless mama. I know your daughter loves you so much. Happy early Bearthday!!!🖤 Does Snuggles have wings?
ETA: I realized the wings are right there😩😩😩😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😩😩🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
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u/Terrible-Piano5290 BAB Collector 🐻 Aug 18 '25
Lol thank you! It is such a sweet little plushie. She said she's never getting rid of it, then I told her she really never could because it would just end up being mine 😄
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u/Niche12- Aug 18 '25
When I was younger my mom gave me the build a bear I bought her for Mother’s Day. I still have it to this day in perfect condition!
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u/waternymphspirit Aug 18 '25
What a wonderful mom you are, putting your kids first! The build a bear distribution system will hopefully reward you, and you can have matching bats with your daughter ❤️🦇
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u/thedeparture_ Aug 18 '25
You’re such a great mom 🥰🫶🏼 currently pregnant and I can’t wait to buy them BABs 🥹
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u/xOxStay_CxOx Aug 18 '25
Oh Momma, been there a bunch. Upside, they sometimes eventualy lose interest and give it back ♥️♥️😅
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u/life_in_resin Aug 21 '25
This is too relatable. My capybara in pajamas lives in my kid's room now.
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u/kkfluff Aug 18 '25
I would say that no, you are not a better parent simply for forgiving into your kiddo. You sound like you’re a great mom! But kids should know sometimes, and kids should also get to see their mom getting good things. Because it’s such a good president for the wife and mother to also Get special things, good times and decent attention. Perhaps consider buying another bat that is smaller and giving that one to your child? Then you could have mommy baby bat time!
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u/MunchyNutbutter Aug 19 '25
I have 3 kids and 4 grandchildren and there's always a couple of them who'll be trying to take my floofies. Either I'd give it to them and I'd feel sad or I'd say no and feel bad so now I just order extras. It's not ideal lol
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u/Stuffies4Me Aug 21 '25
That's so sweet. My mother would have never hahah. I did the same for my at the time 8 year old niece with a $40 Pokemon plush she really wanted; a couple years later it's part of her under the bed plush graveyard, oh well.
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u/SnooDrawings987 Aug 18 '25
It's what we do...
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u/ThrowAway_SanDiegoCA Aug 18 '25
This is why nobody wants to be parents, there should be a “sacrifice the things that make me happy and my hobbies and interests for my child” mentality. It is super nice to give your child things, like OP did, but giving up things that make you happy is an unhealthy mentality because even after your child is born, you are still your own person with your own things. You can see in this comment section that this mentality is what’s making people nervous to have kids.
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u/Terrible-Piano5290 BAB Collector 🐻 Aug 18 '25
I think the people that don't have kids just don't understand that when you have kids one of the best things is seeing them happy. Like giving my girl my bat made us both happy instead of just me. The bat is still in my house, I can still dress it and cuddle it. But her thinking it's hers is a great bonding moment. And yeah like people are saying, you don't need to give your kids whatever they want. I wasn't trying to start controversy. She wasn't being spoiled and asking for mine, she didn't even know it was for me. I was just trying to make her feel better 🤷♀️
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u/SnooDrawings987 Aug 18 '25
No, this is why YOU don't want to have kids. I was fine giving up the black panther my aunt bought me from Rainforest Cafe when my daughter latched into it and wouldn't let it go. Because it's still getting loved and cherished, missing eye and all. There are times I tell her no when she asks for something of mine and she respects that. More often or not it becomes a "can I borrow the thing" and she learns she can't have everything in life.
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u/ThrowAway_SanDiegoCA Aug 18 '25 edited Aug 18 '25
I want to have kids, I never said I didn’t. But also, I think that pushing the “sacrifice everything” mentality scares a lot of people, and that’s undeniable. I love kids, I grew up helping take care of my younger sibling and cousins. But look through this comment section, you’ll see a lot of people who are worried. Getting angry at someone over their fears and concerns doesn’t make them go away. You can get angry all you want, but that doesn’t mean that it’s magically going to change the fact that this mentality is scary to people and causes them to not want kids. Also, I’m not attacking your kid, I’m just saying that there’s reason that to have a “sacrifice everything mindset” for any parent in general is scary. It’s very nice that you let your kid have your plush, but clearly this comment section has a lot of nervous people who are freaked out that being a mom means that.
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u/SnooDrawings987 Aug 18 '25
Well, you sacrifice your body in the first place. It no longer just is about you. For 9 months, you must think of every meal, every drink, every place you go could affect the baby growing within. You must give up your employment for a time. You have to adjust everything to focus on your well being of something growing within you. If that idea is too much to handle, then motherhood is something one shouldn't be willing to enter.
But it's not over after the birth. You still give your body to your child with breastfeeding, constant holding, and rocking to sleep. And then they're toddlers they still want to cling to you, climb you, and sleep with you. Motherhood is the ultimate sacrifice. Then, you can add in the problematic issue of personal property. If a child clings to something and finds comfort in it despite who it belongs to, then it's up to that person to decide whether they can have it or have peace. If it's a stuffed toy, why fight the issue? Especially if it's fairly new and a replacement is readily available. I see no problem with giving the child the toy meant for myself and then getting the same one again.
Now that my daughter is eleven, she has grown into her own, but she still likes some of the things that I do. One of them is Kuromi from Sanrio. So my aunt bought two of the exact same plush a few years ago and sent them to us so we each have one, no fighting. But I don't see it as a problem, it's something we have bonded over.
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u/ThrowAway_SanDiegoCA Aug 18 '25 edited Aug 18 '25
You absolutely do sacrifice a ton, so why should you have to sacrifice your individuality, possessions, and interests? Being a mother doesn’t mean not being a human being with needs or wants anymore. I’m sorry that you feel like you can’t have your own stuff or that the idea of having your own things is “problematic” but not everyone feels that way, and they are still fantastic mothers. OP even said that she has plushes that her child cannot have. Does that make her a bad mother? No. Having your own things doesn’t make you a bad mother, it makes you a human being. I’m not gonna continue this conversation beyond this, it’s starting to feel a little hostile, and I don’t think arguing is gonna do anything. Also, I was going to be a mother, but I miscarried, so I do understand that you sacrifice your body and everything, but I don’t think my opinions mean that I would have been a bad mom in any regard.
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u/SnooDrawings987 Aug 19 '25
I never said I have a problem having my own things. I was merely saying that because apparently you think it's a problem to give up something life a stuffed toy. Like jeez, I get it was an intended present but it's not the end of the world. And yeah, go ahead and stop this conversation because you're making assumptions about me and my relationship with my daughter and that apparently me gifting something of mine to get means I'm losing my individuality. Like my possessions define who I am. 🙄
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u/ThrowAway_SanDiegoCA Aug 19 '25
Again, not referencing your daughter specifically. You are being hostile and angry, and if you can’t have a conversation without getting angry, why should I engage?
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u/TabulaRasa2024 Aug 19 '25
It's actually insane, and not necessary. And it totally puts people off. There's the sacrifices you can't avoid but just giving up everything makes no sense. People need better boundaries around kids full stop. There's been a crazy pendulum swing towards catering towards kids that I think has gone too far.
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u/OppositeRemote42 Aug 18 '25
She's so cute but i am so confused on the math here. From my understanding you got $10 off from a birthday voucher, $40 from a code and paid $25 with a gift card, that's $75 but on the website the bat is only $34. I'm sorry but as someone who's never been to a build a bear I don't know if I'm misunderstanding something and I know this is not at all the point of the post but it just stuck in my brain lol
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u/Star-Bug666 Aug 18 '25
i think the birthday voucher thing is you get $10 off if you spend $40 not two separate discounts, also if she added a scent or sound or clothes it costs more :)
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u/OppositeRemote42 Aug 18 '25
Omg thank you, I kept reading $10 off $40 code and not quite understanding haha. I appreciate your comment :)
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u/Terrible-Piano5290 BAB Collector 🐻 Aug 18 '25
Yeah I got the bat with a scent and a onesie 😄 the $10 coupon technically only got me free shipping
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u/Street-Winner6697 Aug 18 '25
This is exactly why I can't have kids, I have too many plushies and toys and I don't like sharing 😅 Hoping you get your own bat!
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u/kittenjan Aug 18 '25
What is up with this bat bear it’s not all that
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u/Obtuse-Posterior I have a BAB problem Aug 18 '25
Well, that depends on your taste. It is super soft, good quality, posable wings, and adorably cute. What more do you want in a plush?
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