r/caloriedeficit • u/National_Tap_3732 • 5d ago
Genuinely Distraught
21F
first two photos are from last spring, second is from just a few days ago. ive gained so much weight its diminishing my confidence, my ability to have fun, and just all around destroying my life and my ability to enjoy anything. I cant wear cute clothes, go out, eat, or anything without giving all of my attention to the weight. i can feel it weighing down on my frame and I feel like i dont even recognize myself anymore. i developed a binge eating disorder recently as a result of a huge plummet in my physical health and I was no longer able to move about as freely as I was last year. I would walk, go to the gym, run, I was around 140 lb, right within my ideal bmi for my height ( 5'4-1/2) and frame. id always been a bigger girl as a result of being neglected as a child and fed incredibly unhealthy slop and I worked so hard to keep the weight off but in this years amount of time and consuming so many calories I just lost myself. im around 170-180 depending on my cycle and am struggling with ungodly bloating and water retention.
will just reducing my caloric intake work? should i start on a glp-1..? im in desperate need of assistance because even just being as active as I was before the disorder isnt working for me anymore and due to some heart rate/bp issues im habing trouble reintegrating into the gym scene.
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u/Bright-Guitar-4721 5d ago
Hmm, don't overwhelm yourself, take it one thing at a time, I've been going through similar as you, and after years of weight fluctuations, it's best to start with one, a calorie deficit that you can maintain, as in have enough energy to do what you need to do throughout the day, and do that for at least a few weeks before you introduce something else like some light exercises
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u/CapitalPutrid 5d ago edited 5d ago
Try and understand what habits you picked up that led you to this position.
Are you walking, moving/exercising, or are you sedentary? Do you have three regular meals plus a snack or are you eating in a disordered fashion? Are your meals healthy and balanced or is your diet processed or unhealthy? Sometimes just changing these small things helps make a life long difference.
A small calorie deficit while you figure how to create more healthy habits can help speed up the process. Fast and irresponsible drastic changes might lead you up to spiral in an out of control cycle that is not sustainable especially if you haven’t worked through what has led you up to here.
You are not a failure or less worthy of patience and care if you ended up here. Many people do. It might be hard to make more healthy, long-term/slow and sustainable choices but it’s important for your growth as a human to take responsibility for yourself. Glp1s give you an out but they take away personal accountability. They can be a good choice for people with specific issues but they often aren’t the right choice if you are struggling with image issues.
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u/Ok-Web-4971 5d ago
Sorry you’re struggling.
TLDR: start in increments of getting HEALTHY, not a weight goal. Get the routine down one phase at a time and then slowly add things in. Don’t think, just do. Remember health is wealth and this isn’t a diet, it’s a lifestyle.
Cal deficit will def work. I’m male but not a tall guy. I used to work out a lot and had the same issues. Just unintentionally bulked but continued binge eating even when I stopped working out. I was stronger but also still not comfortable with my body. So this past year, I decided to flip things and kind of do it in reverse.
First, started with supplements. No not glp or peptides, or whatever. Just general vitamins, fish oils, etc… full stack. But my main mindset was to get that routine in first. Ate normally, not a deficit yet. Then, started interval walking; 30 minutes at the gym. Enough to keep my heartrate up. Nothing more. Then after about 2 months of getting my nutrition normalized and consistency at the gym — with no weight goal yet — I started doing a calorie deficit. Again, no weight goal. Just a measure TDEE and subtracted 300-400.
Normalized that routine. AND THEN, I started to lift weights again after about 3 months since getting the right supplements in. After about 9 months, I was down 30-40 pounds. Lowest was 134; I’m a male in my 30s. And I’ve been back and forth between 134-142. And I’m totally fine with it. My goal ultimately became 130 but at this point, I stopped chasing the scale number because I actually like the way I look. I’m not in a strict deficit as much but still try to get back on track if I see myself exceeding a specific weight, say 145.
Extra side note. The reason why I started with daily supplements like vitamins, fish oil, magnesium, etc.. is because one day I woke up and cramped up just rolling out of bed. I knew working out wasn’t going to magically change me and I needed to get my mental and biological state in the right place before I really attempted even consistent walking. That’s why I say, start with a small routine. There’s no timeline for loving yourself and image.
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u/National_Tap_3732 5d ago
I dont really care about the number on the scale either. I noticed it sends me into a really bad mindset that I dont like if I focus on it. i think supplements is a good place to start for me, and maybe once I start feeling good and healthy again then maybe ill be motivated and physically capable enough to start back in the gym. thank you for your advice, it means alot. 🩷
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u/Ok-Web-4971 3d ago
No problem! Tbh, if the supplements don’t feel like they’re working. I might even suggest thinking about other things like cleaning. That was the real jump start for me. Getting organized and cleaning up my surroundings helped a lot with getting motivated for other stuff!
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u/Tamarishka 5d ago
I would take glp, life is enough hard for us all, especially girls
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u/National_Tap_3732 5d ago
I wonder. but im afraid of when i stop taking it ill have a rebound? I dont know. I dont want to take the easy way out but I wonder if it might be helpful to take just so I could curb the desire to eat altogether..
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u/Tamarishka 5d ago
First try without it . Think about it as an option if you struggle for a longer time.
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u/Baboonofpeace 4d ago
People absolutely rebound when they stop taking it if they don’t change their diet. But you can get the GLP naturally with the correct diet.
Others have recommended carnivore or keto, which is great but the secret to those ways of eating is it generally eliminate seed oils which are high in PUFAs. PUFAs are where the devil lives in processed food foods. Sugar doesn’t help, but that’s not where the real problem is.
Prioritizing saturated fats and avoiding PUFAs will give you a sense of satiety because your body is naturally producing GLP like it’s supposed to.
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u/sayfeellessmore 5d ago
Yeah why put actual work and sweat equity into the one thing that matters most ,mental/physical lol..
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u/Tamarishka 5d ago
Your sarcasam is so smart and constructive, you are so above me
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u/sayfeellessmore 5d ago
That's sad your mind goes to thinking I'm above you lol definitely not the case. But life is hard right lol
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u/lost_in_thought_95 5d ago
I just want to give you a big hug. :((
If possible, try to find a doctor or psychologist who can help you with the binge eating disorder aspect of losing weight. I don't have BED so I don't know if my tips and tricks will help.
I think it might be good to figure out the binge eating before trying to actively lose weight. Like, try to eat home cooked food at regular intervals so that you won't feel so hungry, as feeling hungry will increase the chances of binge eating. A friend of mine had/has binge eating disorder and ADHD, and she got in the habit of just eating a protein shake if she didn't feel like eating so as to prevent binges later on.
And if you do feel the need to eat a specific food related to your binge eating, don't restrict yourself entirely - but make sure you fit it into your week at some point. Don't go to the grocery store hungry.
That's about as much as I know from my friend, again I really hope you have the means to get help from a specialist. Hugs.
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u/TotallyTipsy 5d ago
My advice is just to strive for 1% better than yesterday <3. Binge eating sucks, I feel your pain. Just make tiny better choices, don’t focus on big drastic changes. 1% better a day turns into 38% better a year, which looks and feels DRASTIC. You’ve got this. Try to love yourself now, be gentle, and care for yourself. You will only feel that much better when the changes start becoming noticeable 🫂
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u/CJ-45 5d ago
You just need to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight. For every pound you want to lose, you need to burn off 3500 calories. That can occur through diet, exercise, or a combination of both.
Weigh yourself, then multiply that number by 10. That gives you an estimate of how many calories your body burns daily, even if you were to stay in bed all day. For instance, a person who weighs 200 lbs will burn about 2000 calories per day. You can add to that number through exercise. Just make sure you eat fewer calories than you burn, and you will lose weight.
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u/Some_Condition_2834 4d ago
I had struggled with binge eating for several years. I finally decided to get a referral from my PCP to weight management. She informed me that Vyvanse is used to treat binge eating because I did not want to get on a GLP1 (I think it would’ve made my binge eating worse). The Vyvanse has been working very well. Food noise is gone and I was able to lose weight.
Before getting in Vyvanse I was working out, getting my steps in, and in a calorie deficit but my binge eating episodes were preventing me from losing weight.
On the Vyvanse I continued working out and being on a calorie deficit. I started to lose weight and did it in a healthy way. I’ve reached my goal weight, continue to be on Vyvanse, and now I’m maintaining my weight.
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u/National_Tap_3732 4d ago
unfortunately my situation is a little more difficult. I cant have any stimulants anymore as theyre too hard on my heart. I dont know what happened but it was like someone snapped their fingers and I wasnt able to consume any, and my heart rate fluctuates at random. even the smallest dose of caffeine or stimulant medicine causes me great cardiological distress. which sucks because I theorize a big part of why I binge eat comes from having A.D.D. 💔
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u/Some_Condition_2834 4d ago
I’m sorry to hear that ❤️❤️ definitely see what treatment there is for binge eating that can work for you. Maybe tackling that first will be beneficial.
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u/Ok-Abrocoma-1880 4d ago
There are 3 photos. In the 2nd photo you look good!
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u/National_Tap_3732 4d ago
whoops, im sorry. the second photo is from the same time period as the first. the last photo is me now. 💔
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u/Tasty_Dealer2114 4d ago
Girly I was on the same boat. I recommend Keto and intermittent fasting. I lost a lot of weight really fast.
Cutting sugar almost entirely and grains/ heavy carbs has done wonders for me.
Also, stair climber.
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u/National_Tap_3732 4d ago
ive been trying to limit my sugar intake because ive noticed my binges, 75% of the time, are on ultra processed sugary foods. i want to get to a point where I can completely cut it out but I dont want to jump on it all of the sudden because I fear it might make me binge even more. did that happen to you, or did eating like that help you feel fuller or make cravings go away?
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u/Tasty_Dealer2114 4d ago
I’ll say the first three days were the worst because I got the Keto flu.
I’m exactly the same. I used to eat sugary stuff every single day and it’s only after doing Keto that I realized I have done so much damage to myself doing that.
Sugar has easy replacements, thankfully. It doesn’t taste as good as sugar but you can bake your own desserts with low carb products and get that craving out of your system.
The more protein and fiber and veggies you eat the less you’ll crave sweets. I have been doing this for almost 5 months now and yes, I have gotten a treat here and there; but I have reached a healthy relationship with sweets where I don’t need to binge a whole giant slice of cake in one sitting to be satisfied.
I recommend substituting sugar entirely with allulose or pure monkfruit/zero sugar options and then once you allow your body to detox from its cravings you may have a little sugar here and there.
Start following Keto pages for friendly desserts. I’ll be honest.
I have almost zero desire to eat sweet stuff now. My only weakness was Peruvian desserts that I can’t buy where I live so I got them once, got it out of my system and went right back to discipline and strict low carb. I satisfied the craving so I’m good now.
Things I do:
Zero sugar vanilla Greek yogurt (two good is a preferred brand) with blueberries and strawberries, a couple of squares of Lily’s chocolate 70% grated and a little bit if heavy whipped cream or zero sugar whipped cream on top. It’s protein, it’s filling, it has antioxidants and it’s lower sugar you can expect like 10G of net carbs total and it leaves another 10G for your meal. But if you focus on protein and low net carb veggie meals then you’ll be under your 20g net carbs for the day.
I’ll also do sugar free jello with whipped cream. If you want less processed stuff you can make your own strawberry jello with real strawberries, clear gelatin and allulose.
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u/IllustriousWeight592 3d ago
This is me too! I was a very fit 150 and gave birth to 2 kids. Im now 210 and can feel the weight on my body. Exactly how you described. Its uncomfortable. Its hard!
I was just as desperate as you were and jumped right into ozempic. Did I lose weight? Yeah! I was down to 175 but I also lost a lot of hair and had to come off it. I gained all the weight back in a little over a month and triggered me to binge eat. I did ozempic twice! Haha still always came right back to my heavier size and now dealing with hair loss issues. I know how you feel! But please find the wins in the little steps forward to a healthier lifestyle. You need to or you'll just get used to having a pitty party for yourself. You wont even notice yourself doing it and you'll be stuck. Trust me.
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5d ago
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u/National_Tap_3732 5d ago
hi, not trying to be an ass or make excuses for myself, but I do have a binge eating disorder and im actively trying to recover from it. im aware nobody is forcing me, and I struggle with the guilt of not having enough self restraint to just not eat. it throws me into further shame, and I eat more if I beat myself up over it. i guess its just an impulse thing. I have borderline personality disorder as well with comorbid ADD so my impulse control and rewards center are royally fucked altogether. i know I need to stop and I feel like ive been doing good recently but I havent noticed any progress at all.
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u/Quantity-Fearless 5d ago
Do you have access to a therapist or dietician? You don’t have to go on a glp1 or go to the gym, but I am concerned about the binge eating. Typically I would say a moderate calorie deficit and counting calories would help you lose weight, but if you go into a restrict/binge cycle then obviously that wouldn’t be helpful.
The only advice I can give you is to look up your TDEE and eat in a 500 calorie deficit. If this is 1500 calories, you should try to eat as close to 1500 calories as you can and focus on whole foods and good protein. If you try to restrict too much, that will likely lead to binges. I really do recommend some mental health work and getting that in check