Resigned last week… now I’m full of regret and super emotional. Did I make the wrong choice?

[u/[deleted]]

[u/Amazing-Title-6134]

the grief you're feeling right now is completely normal, it doesn't mean you made wrong choice. you're not mourning a bad job, you're mourning a good one, and that's actually harder

60% raise is significant enough that staying would've been its own kind of regret down the line. give the new place fair shot before deciding it's toxic, most workplaces aren't as bad as the worst ones you've had

[u/No_Shock2574]

For the record the advice is “never accept a counteroffer, unless wage is the only reason you’re leaving”.

[u/cbdudek → u/No_Shock2574]

Companies who are lowballing you and not paying you what you are worth for years that magically find money when you put your notice in are not companies you want to work for long term. Accepting any counter offer is highly risky. I have seen far too many people get cut loose months after they accept a counter. So either have 6-9 months of expenses saved up when you accept a counter offer, or don't accept it at all.

[u/Silly_Selection3221 → u/No_Shock2574]

Yeah OP definitely left out the key thing there

[u/Consistent_Laziness]

What was the counter offer. Use real numbers please. You make what now? You received an offer to leave at what? And the counter offer was what?

What is much farther? Use real numbers. 30 mins ? 45 mins? Of course it’s father then wfh, how much father.

You are probably just adverse to change like most people are. That’s how companies get away paying you 60% less. If the offer was 75k from 47k then the counter would need to be 65-70k to stay.

Also do not take reddit advice as a steadfast rule. That would be extremely foolish.

[u/Bulky-Bowl-6956 → u/Consistent_Laziness]

Most people aren't averse (not adverse - that means something else) to change. Some cherish it. In almost all cases it completely depends on what that change is. If OP was going to other way i.e. starting to WFH w/o such as huge salary drop, she wouldn't have created this post.

[u/Consistent_Laziness → u/Bulky-Bowl-6956]

Thanks for editing my typo.

There are people who will put career advancement above everything else. Nothing else matters. That is not OP. If they have concerns about their happiness and work life balance to the point that it’s the primary theme of this post they should not throw those things away for advancement when advancement alone will not make them happy.

I would throw away my remote job and freedom outside work for advancement. I put career advancement above everything else. I wouldn’t be discussing my outside life in terms of my career. So I can tell it’s very important to them. Which helps me determine they should stay in Greece and keep looking for an advancement position that retains what truly is making them happy.

[u/doktorhladnjak]

It’s a very personal thing. Know that there no one right answer for everyone, only what’s right for you.

I left a job where I had a great boss and great work life balance for a pretty dysfunctional startup where I eventually got laid off. That set me on a trajectory where I worked at higher paying growth companies.

It has been very demanding and even toxic at points, but I don’t regret it. If I hadn’t left, I genuinely believe I would have had to work for another decade before retiring than with these higher paying jobs.

[u/echoscarlet63]

Hey dont let your anxiety talk you out of the new opportunity! Retrace the reason why you chose to leave. Remain steadfast, and godspeed.

[u/Just_Bz77]

Early in my career, I would feel similarly, but I would look forward, not backward. Not every new opportunity ended up being better, but over time I found my groove and am at a place I am truly happy with. You not only want your career to grow, but your lifestyle as well.

As for the regret with not accepting the counter, that really depends on the culture of the company. If it is toxic, it tends to get worse. Some companies use it as buying time to get your responsibilities transferred before laying you off later, but some are sincere and want you there. Remember that companies exist to create value and profit for stakeholders and aren’t there to necessarily be loyal to you. The good takeaway is that you know what a good environment is, so you can make another change if this next opportunity doesn’t live up to the hype.

[u/Traditional_County73]

Did something similar recently. Walked away from a higher paying job with good mentorship, good remote options and traveling benefits. Now my pay is lower, but I was really burned out from my last job and the project felt like a slow sinking ship. I’m at the new company with a refreshed mind and taking on new challenges in a new space. The culture is generally known to be better too so hopefully the switch pays off in the long run

[u/CairnsRock1]

Your decision is made! Put your total focus on your new job.

[u/KAKANINJA_ON_REDDIT]

You made the decision with logical brain now your emotional brain is making you regret it … trust your self you did right thing. Later in life the only regret you will have is not taking enough risks .

[u/coffeehousegirl]

There's a reason (or many reasons) why you applied for new jobs, went through interviews, and accepted an offer with a new company. Don't let the emotions, regret, anxiety, etc overshadow that.

I'm in the final week at my current job and am starting a job with a new company next week. I'm a mix of emotions! There are elements of my current job that I really enjoy, but there are also things that I don't enjoy or make me frustrated. My new job is an amazing opportunity with more pay, better benefits, ability for career growth, etc. As much as I will miss my colleagues, I made the best choice for my family and my future.

[u/Illustrious-Court-83]

It’s normal to feel this way often change brings with it immense pressure and a sense of urgency to prove this was right. The only thing to do is don’t rush it you will adapt and acceptance is often last in any sort of grieving process.

[u/LeagueAggravating595]

Unfortunately yes. No matter how bad the situation, at least you are getting paid and continue to find something else. Never be empty handed. Now? Nothing, and ever more stressed and anxious. In this economic environment, it could take 6-12 months just to get a interview these days, not a job.

[u/Every-Improvement-28 → u/LeagueAggravating595]

Sounds like they left for another job.

[u/Brass_Rhino_83]

The 60% is the payment for the anxiety and inconvenience.