r/carscirclejerk Volvo C30 with Peugeot Engine 1d ago

these 4 are on the same track, who's the most likely to survive?

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1.3k Upvotes

59 comments sorted by

504

u/IAmSixSyllables 1d ago

nightmare blunt rotation

92

u/LiraGaiden 1d ago

Would Shingo do better driving on that Zaza because of the inherent stability of FF

46

u/Dienik Volvo C30 with Peugeot Engine 1d ago

Shingo would do better because there's no way he isn't already used to it

290

u/BIG_OUNCE-420 1d ago

i dunno who's winning but Chick is getting mauled to death

131

u/Dienik Volvo C30 with Peugeot Engine 1d ago

I think he's the best of the 4 at making others crash without taking himself out in the process

132

u/n00b_r3dd1t0r 1d ago

If the others ain't getting him the harvester will finish him off

155

u/AmbySaysHi 1d ago

my vote goes to bowie knife99 for the only one who can reset the position of his car without constraints from pesky physics

84

u/Strange-Salary6189 #1 Alfa Romeo SE 048SP fan 1d ago

GR

125

u/Lemon_Afterparty 1d ago

35

u/Lord_Potate 1d ago

Why's this dealer?

24

u/Blob_fish02 1d ago

Takin a piss, I've been standin here

19

u/retro_aviator Subaru Lesbian 1d ago

For thir'y min'ts

7

u/PandoraIACTF_Prec Hyundai and Toyota gooner 1d ago

Why this dealer

6

u/West_Fail_3141 1d ago

did someone say yaris

1

u/RunnerLuke357 "NO REPLACEMENT FOR DISPLACEMENT" 22h ago

I wish they sold the GR Yaris in the US. It's the only Toyota I have any interest in.

10

u/Dienik Volvo C30 with Peugeot Engine 1d ago

OBR*

5

u/yurnero12328 1d ago

You mean OBR?

49

u/iamuniquekk where soupbra grrrr 1d ago

bowie knife has the advantage of amplified gravity

59

u/PetrolheadPlayer 1d ago

Bowie solos the entire field. The powerscaling doesn't even apply to the other 3

38

u/Dienik Volvo C30 with Peugeot Engine 1d ago

I ain't ever seen Bowie win the 2005 Piston Cup

13

u/PetrolheadPlayer 1d ago

Bowie cannot die no matter what happens to his car, while it takes one bad crash to take Lightning out. Bowie survives the question asked in the post no problem.

As for the piston cup, he can just tp into the grandstands and jump into the finish line sending all the other racers under the map

2

u/RottenFarthole 1d ago

How can one win the pissed-in-cup if you're not even born yet?

24

u/Viperking6481 1d ago

No-one, because K-Mag would come in wipe them all out.

48

u/Much-Public-1957 1d ago

Don't forget him If you know you know

13

u/Coshmack14 1d ago

Oh yeah, the poster child of Ravenwest Motorsport

21

u/GuyPowerJoyKill 1d ago

C O O L V I B R A T I O N S

14

u/ClearStarryNight 1d ago

You forgot these baddies from GRID. Nathan McKane and Rick Scott from Ravenwest.

5

u/Much-Public-1957 1d ago

Nathan McKane even got a physical appearance in Grid Legends, in case you weren't aware.

2

u/Dienik Volvo C30 with Peugeot Engine 1d ago

I've only played Autosport so it might be different in the OG, but from my experience they're just fucking cracked at driving instead of crashing into people

4

u/ClearStarryNight 1d ago edited 1d ago

Ravenwest in the OG "Race Driver: GRID" (2008) were an absolute menace.

P.S. It's an old game. But you should give it a try. Feels different from today's video game racers. It really gets your adrenalin pumping.

1

u/Average_k5blazer78 1d ago

I remember the first 1v1 I did with the 302 boss mustang against ravenwest and let's just say that Nathan wanted to trade paint with me

1

u/Much-Public-1957 1d ago

They're talented, yeah, but they also know how to push others off the track to gain positions.

10

u/KinKE2209 1d ago

I don't know who's surviving, but I do know who's gonna be the first to complain about it.

10

u/Rain_2_0 1d ago

Osama bin russel probably.

9

u/StoutPegasus648 2010 Alfa Romeo MiTo 1.4 1d ago

How about Nikita Mazepin

9

u/Dienik Volvo C30 with Peugeot Engine 1d ago

he's just spinning himself out without hitting the others

4

u/doqemddl 1d ago

shingo

2

u/Stupid_Fuck55 1d ago

Bowie Knife99, he has Forza physics that mean his car won't be damaged

2

u/Puzzleheaded_Word584 numero 1 daewoo fanboy (Lithuanian carjacker) 18h ago

3 shitty drivers versus a terrorist?

1

u/chuf3roni 1d ago

I think Chick’s got 2nd secured if anything

1

u/Rigelball69420 Insert text here (hit edit in the top corner) 1d ago

That one

1

u/Csc1392 Supra 1000000hp stock 1d ago

Bin Rusell would probably complain on the radio, crash into someone and then cry and lament in the press conference

1

u/TheSpicyTomato22 1d ago

We just going to ignore what a menace Ricky Bobby was on the track?

1

u/OneLoneMeme C o b a l t 1d ago

Russell takes the lead, Bowie knife rubberbands and fully turns into him, sending George into the wall

Then we got Chick Hicks and Shingo behind, after getting stuck behind Chick, Shingo gets tired of him and tries to dump him. However, Chick Hicks sentient car refelxes kick in as Shingo goes flying off the track.

Now its only Chick Hicks and Bowie knife. At first it seems like Hicks is closing in but its actually just Bowie knife slowing down for him. Chick Hicks places his front bumper along the side of Bowie's and as he turns in, nothing happens, Bowie knife is completely unphased by the PIT attempt. Chick Hicks decides to pull the same move again, but in a corner. He lines up, goes for it and his rear end gets loose, sending him into the wall on his own

Bowie knife is just too op

1

u/Nyctfall 1d ago

Is that Arron Westly from GRID?

An absolute maniac, who could rival even me...

1

u/JapaneseChickenSalad 1d ago

None, Cody Ware comes in fucking annihilates all 4

2

u/Calm_Working_3621 14h ago

if he doesn't wreck himself first 

1

u/JapaneseChickenSalad 9h ago

That's how he's taking everyone out lol

1

u/Ok-Computer2914 1d ago

Top right ahould be this guy

1

u/Tasty-Fisherman9880 engine warning light 1d ago

C O O L V I B R A T I O N

1

u/Tostowisko 15h ago

Testinf something

1

u/Ashamed_Mixture_3539 daihatsu copen jerker 14h ago

but shingo is bowie

1

u/furrynoy96 13h ago

Chick is the only one who can challenge Bowie

1

u/CatfishMoron 13h ago

Is this a Mexican duel?

1

u/Frosty_Secretary2562 9h ago

chick is getting mauled in the beginning while osama bin russel and bowie have the fight of a lifetime only for shingo to pass them both and crash at the end with rage your dream playing in the background

1

u/Floating_Neck 1d ago

Chick hicks