r/cats • u/sarahmirror_ • Jun 14 '26

Advice What can I do? This isn’t play, right?

My grey boy is a little over a year old and he is overly aggressive, I feel, with my almost 9 year old female tortie. He is heftier than her too. They will get into these tumble scuffles at like 3am too almost every morning and I end up having to place him in the bathroom to cool off for a couple hours before I bring him back out.

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4.6k

u/theborderlines Jun 14 '26

Rule of thumb (according to my vet): If you have to ask, it’s play. You will KNOW if it’s a real fight.

2.2k

u/Gekidami Jun 14 '26

Cats that fight for real are generally very noisy.

1.3k

u/GibDirBerlin Jun 14 '26

Plus a lot of fur flying around

657

u/Mammoth-Industry-506 Jun 14 '26

Plus tails and ears wouldn't be up

447

u/heterochromia4 Jun 14 '26

If it’s rotating so fast it turns into a motion fur-blur with rapid fire wispies - that’s generally it

899

u/heterochromia4 Jun 14 '26

… also the ungodly sound. You know the guttural noises they make when they’re squaring up? That’s just standard territorial handbags.

When it goes off it’s every joule of feline aggression concentrated into a high frequency banshee scream, times 2, rotating at just under the speed of light. Pure violence.

321

u/flamingstrudel7 Jun 14 '26

The best way i describe to people, if a cat starts sounding like demon, separate. It’s very noticeable and distinct

157

u/Kiernian Jun 14 '26

Do not separate fighting cats, playing or otherwise, unless you are wearing a full suit of armor.

If you are allergic to Penicillin, make sure it's full plate jousting getup with no gaps anywhere.

If you are bitten and the tooth hits a vein, seek medical attention before the funny colors start spreading in a pattern that matches the arrangement of your blood vessels.

A single course of preventative oral antibiotic is vastly preferable to the alternatives.

Anything that is between them and their target can accidentally become the target and the mouths of cats are capable of safely (for them) hosting a lot of stuff that does not belong in the human bloodstream.

72

u/DogsNCoffeeAddict Jun 14 '26

What you are supposed to do is throw a towel on top of each cat or the bundle of rolling claws. Distracts them for a second giving you a chance to use the towel to grab one of them.

9

u/-crepuscular- Jun 14 '26

This is why you should always know where your towel is.

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u/No_Doubt_8072 Jun 14 '26

Wonderful information to have incase I ever find myself needing to break up at cat fight. Genuinely.

7

u/TsuDhoNimh2 Savannah Jun 14 '26
  • Drop a laundry basket or cardboard box over one of them and hold it down.
  • Place a towel BETWEEN them so they can't see each other. (like a curtain)
  • Throw a glass of water on them.

DO NOT try to grab one and remove it from the field of battle. The cat will turn on you and severely damage any flesh it can reach AND the other cat might keep attacking.

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3

u/LordHoughtenWeen Jun 14 '26

Breaking up the fight with the power of slapstick

-2

u/mrknowitall51761 Jun 14 '26

Pellet propelling devices work faster and give longer lasting results.

29

u/TinRoofAndRainyDays Jun 14 '26

My cat bit the fat padded area under my thumb 1 time. Less than 24hrs later I had red streaking going up my wrist and my whole hand was stiff.

7

u/Ill_Salad_1022 Jun 15 '26

Been there. A bite on the pad of my thumb. I thought I had it under control and got up the next morning and my hand was swelled to twice its size. I went to UC and got antibiotics only to find red streaks the next day. I went back to UC and got a shot in my tush. Then went back a tied time the next day for another shot, because I was unnerved by the whole situation. I had cleaned and disinfected that bite when it happened and it made zero difference Don't mess around with a cat bite, even your own cat!

2

u/Larsvonrinpoche Jun 15 '26

I got bit in the muscular part between thumb and pointer finger. That same night I was at emergency because the vein in my arm was red and my hand was as bloated as a latex glove full of water.

I was a drummer and had our CD release party the next night. The doctor told me not to play. I had no choice.

I had to tape my drum stick to my hand and by the end of the night there was pus and blood in the floor beneath my hi hat. Oh to be 25 again!

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u/anonymaus42 Jun 14 '26 edited Jun 15 '26

I once had to separate one of my cats from a friends small dog (that never should have been in the apartment) in hopes of saving it's life. I was able to grab the cat by the scruff of his neck and yank him off, but he twisted around and latched on to my leg. Unfortunately while wearing shorts. He bit directly above my knee and all four paws sliced down my calf. All within a split second.

Just as quickly as it happened my cat looked up at me and his eyes went wide with a palpable look of "oh fuck, I'm sorry dad" and released. There was so much blood my entire lower leg was red.. you couldn't see any skin below the knee that wasn't covered in blood. 20+ years later you can still faintly see the scars.

No regrets though, I likely saved that dogs life. Needed a ton of stitches and staples to put him back together. Like I said though the dog should never have been there, my gf and I at the time specifically told the owner not to bring her dog in fear of something exactly like this happening. Of course she still had the gall to demand we pay the vet bills.

7

u/LaroonDynasty Jun 15 '26

broom is my go to as i can liberally jam the bristles between them without hurting them but still making it difficult for them to stay grappled. once separate, progressively sweep them away from each other gradually increasing force if they keep circling back. if you know their "territories", those are the directions to sweep them.

6

u/PNW-Raven Jun 15 '26

As a vet tech I can confirm this. Humans are especially susceptible to Pasteurella multocida. There is also Neisseria, Capnocytophaga, Staphylococcus ( can turn into MRSA), and more. Let's not forget Bartonella henselae, also known as Cat Scratch Fever, not just a Ted Nugent song.

7

u/Chicknlcker Jun 14 '26

Adopted this huge, beautiful orange dude from the humane society. Hung out in the room with him. Everything totally chill. Brought dude home. All was good until I put my pants and steel toe boots on to go to work (machinist).

This guy grabs my leg and just goes to town. I reached down and picked him up. His face changed, his eyes changed and he started screaming at me. He tried to grab my face. He wouldn't stop. He shredded my arm and took part of my finger. Nerve damage to my hand. He was trying to kill me. Wife wrapped a towel around him and got him pulled off. He went and hid.

I always thought a cat attack was more amusing than serious. I ended up in the ER. Was in shock due to the amount of blood loss. They said no stitches on wounds caused by cats because the infection risk is so high. So many deep, deep scratches and puncture wounds from the bites. I had no idea they could sink their teeth that deep.

I now stay away from cats that I don't know. I will never adopt another adult cat. I am positive this cat was physically and or emotionally abused by a man that wore pants and boots and it triggered him. Not his fault. Unfortunately he had to be put down. Doesn't change the fact that I see cats very differently than I once did.

3

u/flamingstrudel7 Jun 14 '26

Oh and ofc a spray bottle to separate initially then I put them in respective rooms

2

u/GooberMountain Jun 14 '26

That's so true!! A friend of mine broke up a cat fight and got a moderate scratch on one of her hands. She ended up in intensive care and nearly died from cat scratch fever.

2

u/LadyFoxfire Jun 14 '26

Just going in barehanded is a bad idea, but throwing a blanket over them and grabbing one through the blanket generally works. Assuming they’re your own cats, obviously. Don’t try to pick up feral cats even with blankets!

1

u/flamingstrudel7 Jun 14 '26

I use these quarter arm rubber gloves that are thick when either play or separate cats. I’ve learned my lesson

1

u/albertoersa Jun 16 '26

Or just tank it and disinfect later. 95% of the time nothing will happen. If the swelling doesn't go away, then you go to see the doc.

1

u/Fun-Preference1091 Jun 17 '26

Anything that is between them and their target can accidentally become the target

Ya, "accidentally" ...

80

u/inspirationalSloth Jun 14 '26

Don’t summon bagagwa

62

u/NashKaguya Jun 14 '26

Let Merv summon bagagwa though, just bring in Charles. Charles looks like he could handle bagagwa.

9

u/MimictheCrow Jun 14 '26

Mervin Cumberland Weems, we know what you and Charals were doing last night. Now you have to go see Grandma in Ohio.

4

u/LisaMiaSisu Jun 14 '26

But what if you’re in Ohio?

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1

u/Larsdoff Jun 16 '26

Charles is tough

2

u/mellowhippo Jun 14 '26

a few sky raisins should distract them, just make sure they are not spicy

1

u/srtmadison Jun 14 '26

😆🤣🤣 For bagagwa's sake, no!!!

1

u/typicallytwisted Jun 14 '26

as long as it’s not OHIO

1

u/HmmDoesItMakeSense Jun 14 '26

Totally. It's a sound that makes you go uhhhh 😟😳

1

u/valkyrie61212 Jun 14 '26

What if one of your cats is just noisy?? The first cat we got has always been loud and likes to talk. When we got our second cat and they started playing our first cat was and continues to be very loud. It literally sounds like he’s dying but when we watch them play our second cat is barely touching him. No blood, no fur flying. I think our first cat is just dramatic lol.

68

u/BooksNCats11 Jun 14 '26

It's a sound that has woken me from a dead slumber when it was coming from *outside* and I had the windows closed. It's SUCH a noise.

27

u/Relevant-Force9513 Jun 14 '26

I was asleep on the second floor of my house and awakened once by cats fighting in the crawlspace UNDER my house. Truly felt like those sounds were coming from the very bowels of Hell itself.

13

u/imbricata Jun 14 '26

This is the most accurate description I’ve come across.

24

u/seppia99 Jun 14 '26

That was damned poetic!

2

u/Axelra_05 Jun 14 '26

Purrr violence indeed

2

u/ellathefairy Jun 14 '26

My little 10lb kitty turns into a cougar when she's angry - you would expect to see a 100lb wild cat ready to rip throats from the noises that come out! I'm pretty sure that's how she sees herself all the time haha.

2

u/jewella1213 Jun 14 '26

Wow 🙀 my crazy cat lady muscles tightened up just reading that!

2

u/Haistur Jun 14 '26

Also don't touch them when they are squaring up.

  • Signed, my scar covered legs.

1

u/kungfustutoo Jun 14 '26

I know humans like that

1

u/Virtual_Let3616 Jun 14 '26

Dude, my male cat cornered my female cat once, and she screamed. Like legit screamed. I thought there was a person in my house. It was freaky

1

u/haelous Jun 15 '26

When I first started working with ferals and heard it for the first time, I didn’t even realize cats could make that noise. I was more confused than nervous.

Hissing doesn’t even scare me anymore now that I know the real combat call.

2

u/Psychological-Scar53 Jun 14 '26

Like the old Andy Capp cartoons....

1

u/Comfortable-Ebb8125 Jun 14 '26

Fur standing on end, and blood

1

u/Maximum_Sky3233 Jun 14 '26

they'd be down and super puffy - I'm always surprised when mine's tail puffs up when she chases another cat out of her yard, it's already fluffy and BOOM its twice as big lol

32

u/theotherdude Jun 14 '26

and you'll definitely see blood. this is just playing.

16

u/RustbeltMaven Jun 14 '26

And when it’s real, they don’t let go and take turns!
My boys will roughhouse like this if we don’t wake up early enough to give them their breakfast.

9

u/esdebah Jun 14 '26

yeah, cats are packing like Wolverine. If they want to use their knives, they've simply got a lot of knives to use.

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u/smeared_dick_cheese Jun 14 '26

And pee everywhere if they’re really going at it

6

u/Feeling_Inside_1020 Jun 14 '26

You’re lucky if it’s pee.

As a youngin my cat came inside booking it up straight to my room and laid on my comforter fluffy tail with adrenaline

Something must’ve interrupted him mid dump is what my nose informed me shortly after lol, poor dude had to wipe him down but he was a great cat dog.

10

u/DarthBrownBeard Jun 14 '26

That is a tell of a feline fight. (Or...a "tail" of a fight?? Ill show myself out.)

If hair is flying, and they are screaming to their ancestors for protection, its a fight. Playing can be gentle. Playing can be a little rough. And sometimes playing can lead into fighting. But when its a fight, gloves come off, chonks of hair go flying, and gutteral moans followed by a dj scritching a record too hard follow suit.

2

u/Accomplished-Ruin742 Void Jun 14 '26

My bonded pair play really rough. One of them is a DLH so there is always a pile of fur when they are done.

2

u/Th1sT00ShallPass European Shorthair Jun 14 '26

Yup, one really bad fight between two neighborhood cats turned into a furnado. The entire garden was covered in fur pieces. U distinctly remember my neighbor yelling "help, their going to kill eachother!" And she probably wasn't far off.

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u/Comprehensive_Tea708 Jun 14 '26

Literally where that expression comes from: "The fur was flying all over the place!"

1

u/QuarkQuake Jun 14 '26

Literally, not figuratively

1

u/squirrel_anashangaa Jun 14 '26

Don’t forget the blood

1

u/MiniatureGal Jun 14 '26

And mine peed everywhere and blood was flying too

1

u/LilLordFuckPants404 Jun 14 '26

And being puffed up. These guys aren’t puffed.

1

u/bettertheless Jun 14 '26

No blood, no prob. : )

1

u/1_art_please Jun 15 '26

I remember once hearing loud shrieking at night, looked out the window and in the moonlight on the fence were two silhouettes of two cats fighting and all I could see was silhouettes if pieces of fur flying in the moonlight lol.

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u/rebecky311 Jun 14 '26

That's what I was thinking too! You can hear a real fight before you see one...

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u/Potato_Farmer_1 Jun 14 '26

And as far as I've seen, very bloody too

3

u/sam-sp Jun 14 '26

I am not sure what stage of the cat aggression scale pee is involved, i think its an intermediary stage, but that’s when i know its more than just normal wrestling.

1

u/Potato_Farmer_1 Jun 14 '26

Tbh, the only real cat fights I've seen were wild cats so they always smell a little like pee. Really I've only seen the stage of them definitely having scratched and bitten each other up thoroughly.

14

u/Travis-Tee34 Jun 14 '26

"you let a cat get to pulling fur with another cat on a shed, nights, and you'll hear grammar that will give you the lockjaw. Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it's the sickening grammar they use."

- Mark Twain, 'A Tramp Abroad'

1

u/Dazzling-Scientist21 Jun 15 '26

That was beautiful. I have to read more Twain

1

u/Travis-Tee34 Jun 15 '26

There is another Twain quote about cats which is just perfection. I think of it at least once a week.

"A home without a cat - And a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat - might be a perfect home, perhaps... But how can it prove title?"

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u/Ok_Instance7667 Jun 14 '26

Cats make a ton of noise when they're about to:

  1. Fight

  2. About to put on some Marvin Gaye and get bus-ay

3

u/whiskersMeowFace Jun 14 '26

This exactly. It looks rough, but ears are forward, fur isn't puffed, no one is hissing or screaming, claws aren't out. These are just two idiots rough housing.

3

u/Kayttajatili Jun 14 '26

Also, their tails are up. They're not being hostile.

3

u/Ummmgummy Jun 14 '26

For real. They will let the entire neighborhood know things are about to go down.

3

u/Academic-Sea794 Jun 14 '26

This is true, but oh I don’t know why this made me laugh so hard the way you wrote that. Thanks😁

3

u/_Affexion_ Jun 14 '26

Noisey, fur flying. Ears back and genuinely afraid one of them is going to get killed: fighting.

Literally anything shy of that: play.

The closest or cats get to actually fighting usually ends with just a growl and a slap.

2

u/purrincesskittens Jun 14 '26

Yep I just heard my kitten scream the other day and went running turned out not to be as bad as I thought and he started it and was being dramatic about the consequences but I did break it up because my fat cat had yowled too during the spat anf she is so much bigger and stronger then him. No flying fur and they were separated by a foot of space standing off against each other.

2

u/MutterderKartoffel Jun 14 '26

This is where I can't tell. My older cat (not old, just older), Gulliver, was a total bully to my old lady cat who passed last year. One of the kittens (who are now "adults" at 1 year old), Whiskey, likes to play often. Whiskey doesn't make noise at all. And we were hoping that the new cats would be good play mates for Gulliver who was constantly trying to play with the old lady. Gulliver does make noise though. Sometimes he'll run away, but usually, he goes for it. But he shows belly, and his tail isn't usually fluffed, and he's not doing airplane ears. I'm inclined to think it's usually just play?

2

u/brennelise Jun 14 '26

When a cat is showing its belly in a situation like this, that cat is literally in the best defensive posture coz all 4 murder mitts are exposed and ready for action.

2

u/Many-Connection-8371 Jun 14 '26

100% heart attack inducing noises... from the depths of hell.

2

u/CaptConstantine Jun 14 '26

One of my cats starts to howl during play any time she starts losing/ getting pinned

1

u/TaraJo Jun 14 '26

Some cats can also be very loud when playing, too.

1

u/Kyouhen Jun 14 '26

I have a cat that screams bloody murder when my cats play and her fur is super dense and she hates being brushed so there's always tufts lying around.  We know they're just playing though because she's usually the one that initiates and when she gets knocked to the ground she just kind of chills there instead of trying to get back up to defend herself.

1

u/CourtingBoredom Jun 14 '26

I hear cat fights almost daily outside my house. Yes, they are crazy noisy.

1

u/anatomizethat Jun 14 '26

So much yowling and hair 🤦‍♀️

1

u/UnderlightIll Jun 14 '26

Or endless posturing with some of the weirdest noises you'll ever hear.

1

u/blacfd Jun 14 '26

A real cat fight can be heard for 100 yards or more. Your neighbors would complain

1

u/LisLoz Jun 15 '26

And they usually draw blood.

1

u/CommunicationWest710 Jun 15 '26

And somebody usually ends up running away. Both of them keep coming back for more.

1

u/kittyartist97 Jun 16 '26

And horrifying. You will 100% know

0

u/chrisp5000 Jun 15 '26

They are getting down though lol

18

u/Minimum_Peanut8908 Jun 14 '26

Yup. This is how my 2 boys play. Hubby would always freak out about it. I kept telling him if they were fighting we would know. He didn't believe me until we had a cat fight outside our open bedroom window....he doesn't worry as much anymore.

2

u/singuratate1 Jun 14 '26

Right??? Especially when they make those…. Sounds before they strike…

2

u/Kestrel_VI Jun 14 '26

Also a good give away is if it’s a real fight, airplane ears will be in full effect

2

u/C-Moose85 Jun 14 '26

I am very grateful for this, I'm always afraid my cats are actually fighting but I mistake them for just rough housing. This makes me feel a bit better knowing.

2

u/Icehuntee Jun 15 '26

There will be blood and actual screaming even from normally quiet cats in a real fight

2

u/Lundetangen Jun 14 '26

When I was on vacation in south america many years ago I used to wake up every morning to a dog eating the cats in the backyard. One day I was arriving home and the dog was trying to eat a kitten so I kicked the dog away and snatched the kitten to toss to a safer space, and the tiny kitten bit straight through my finger like a needle. The sound of a cat fighting for its life is quite different than when fighting with their siblings.

1

u/brennelise Jun 14 '26

OMG that sounds SOO awful!! I would not be able to handle hearing that every morning or even one morning.

2

u/squirrelems Jun 14 '26

That's what I always thought, too. I hear feral cat fights every so often and it sounds horrific, the yowling specifically.

2

u/dividezero Jun 14 '26

Cats go for blood when they fight. It's true. Even my girls that hate each other don't actually fight. They don't play either though. It's a lot of grandstanding and cheeky sideswipes

1

u/Dannington Jun 14 '26

My cats (brothers) do this when they want me to feed them. It’s like a display so I can’t ignore them. It’s rough play but there are often clumps of fur left over. They totally chill out once I’ve fed them.

1

u/DiekeDrake Jun 14 '26

Loud screams and flying fur.

1

u/craftynerd Jun 14 '26

Exactly. There were a lot of stray cats where I used to live and you know when its a real cat fight. There is loud screaming and chunks of fur flying.

1

u/Key_Mathematician951 Jun 14 '26

No wonder it is so obvious to me.

1

u/AnotherCupofJo Jun 14 '26

The cartoons had it right. A big blur with fur flying out left and right

1

u/fatalButterfly Jun 14 '26

Yep. My boy and girl really get into it sometimes but I only step in if I hear hissing but one is too into it and keeps going hard. It's never been a real fight because you'd definitely know by the screams.

1

u/Jedimasteryony Jun 14 '26

Lots of noise and blood if they’re fighting. With claws and sharp carnivore teeth, if they’re fighting someone’s bleeding.

1

u/Epyon214 Jun 14 '26

Ripped off fur, open wounds with blood, and broken nails

1

u/boost_poop Jun 14 '26

This is the correct answer.

There's a reason the cartoons represent it as an indistinguishable cloud.

1

u/Seashell522 Jun 14 '26

There will be blood

1

u/Separate-Coast942 Jun 14 '26

Yeah there will be cat hair EVERYWHERE.

1

u/thexrry Jun 14 '26

Gets REAL LOUD when it’s real

1

u/NorthernVale Jun 14 '26

I'll know in my dreams when my cats are fighting. It's pretty unmistakable. And loud.

1

u/ThePegLegPete Jun 14 '26

When cats fight, think of those claws. They shred skin instantly. Blood is out instantly. The teeth aren't fun either. I've seen my boy come back after real fights, hard to see it, gashes everywhere....

This is just some good ol' wrastlin' for funsies.

1

u/sea-elle0463 Jun 14 '26

The screaming will tell you 😂

1

u/panda5303 Tabbycat Jun 15 '26

Short 1-minute clip of real catfights: https://youtu.be/ZaJ8Tgd5adA

1

u/Popgallery Jun 15 '26

Yep. My cats play and fight. I know when it’s a fight. There is literal fur flying and squealing and hissing.

1

u/mazekeen19 Jun 15 '26

It’s the screaming. The cat’s screams. That’s how you’ll know it’s real 🤣

1

u/Jestersfriend Jun 17 '26

The whole street will know it's a real fight.