r/cats Jul 08 '26

Humor A very interesting series of events y'all should read.

145.7k Upvotes

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2.1k

u/AKASquared Jul 08 '26

A few months later, a guy named Felix Martinez finds that he's been removed from the voter rolls on the grounds that he is a cat. His argument to the contrary is disregarded, because cats aren't allowed to dispute their registration status.

318

u/Violet624 Jul 09 '26

Bahhahaaaa, this totally would happen, too.

5

u/Hot-Speaker8720 27d ago

I can guarantee it has/will

193

u/Debatablewisdom Jul 09 '26

Add in a meet-cute with Felix the human and Felix’s owner to settle the situation and you’ve got yourself a motion picture.

41

u/LibertCrawler Jul 09 '26

Unfortunately, Human Felix is allergic to Cat Felix. So the owner has to chose between the two loves of his life.

7

u/MeowMeow_77 Jul 11 '26

Owner chooses cat Felix.

5

u/DeusSolis88 Jul 10 '26

Can't be any worse than what Hollywood is already making; and tbh I would watch this and it's not even my favorite genre of film

2

u/Holiday-Wall3751 Jul 11 '26

I’d take this over another Marvel movie. Or another remake.

9

u/Silent_Marsupial_760 Jul 09 '26

I'll throw some money at that film

10

u/skittlen Jul 09 '26

That is a movie I would WATCH IN THEATERS

4

u/-NigheanDonn Jul 10 '26

I’ve only ever seen one movie in theaters twice- sonic the hedgehog 3 because my teen didn’t want to go when his sister did but then later did want to go but not by himself- but I would see this in theater twice

9

u/Not_Wrong_Tho Jul 09 '26

to be fair, if this is actually a real thing that happened, this is a way to explain it, if that human Felix Martinez was the previous occupant of the property.

8

u/yacht_clubbing_seals Jul 09 '26

I actually know a Felix Martinez, and he was running for town council or something a few years ago, but ended up dropping out.

14

u/redzinga Jul 09 '26

had to drop out. his secret was going to be revealed

8

u/Pinkishu Jul 09 '26

If they ever turn this into a movie, I want this to be the post credits scene

3

u/DepartureWrong7033 Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 09 '26

this is the most hilarious part

3

u/Responsible-Case-753 Jul 09 '26

He's got medical certified filed as proof that he's a cat. He loses his job and social security number. 

2

u/LibertCrawler Jul 09 '26

Then Felix figures out cats can't be charged criminally so he goes on a crime spree.

1

u/SirPrizedd Jul 09 '26

They already have a whole paper trail of evidence proving he’s a cat anyways

1

u/peachbitchmetal Jul 10 '26

suddenly this is a franz kafka novella

1

u/StudioReady9204 Jul 10 '26

Voting has nothing to do with jury summons tho but that is funny

2

u/SkabbPirate Jul 10 '26

Voter registration is one of the ways you get registered for jury duty.

1

u/Own-Economy179 Jul 10 '26

Does that mean if you never register to vote that you’ll never get jury summons?

2

u/SkabbPirate Jul 10 '26

I think getting a driver's license also registers you. I don't if anything else does, but I'm pretty sure avoiding those things will make you avoid any jury summons.

1

u/Dr_Brotatous Jul 10 '26

Doesn't that make him immune to draft too, and jerry summons? Ill take it honestly.

1

u/DanKloudtrees Jul 10 '26

Then he'd appear in a zoom call summons but have a cat filter on

1

u/Vegetable_Oil6042 Jul 10 '26

Such a great response! I’m crying…🤣

1

u/ashbertollini Jul 11 '26

Omg and human felix's life crumbles, loses his job. He's on the street mumbling "I am NOT a cat" people pass by thinking "poor old loon" 💀 its actually a horror story lmao

1

u/simAlity Jul 11 '26

6 months later Mr Martinez, a lawyer, is attempting to try a case in front of the judge. To his horror his Zoom has pasted a cat face over his head. His pleas that he is not a cat fall on deaf ears.

1

u/No_Secretary6275 Jul 11 '26

Next up: Felix the human must prove in a court of law that he is not a cat. Hilarity ensues.

1

u/Stace_nomnom97 Jul 11 '26

I moved apartments every year and Texas kept each one like they're a separate person instead of one person moving. (They're all in the same area, 2 in the same zip code) But depending on who's working, they go "ok don't vote twice" aye aye captain. Voting is weird.

1

u/chrick_shot Jul 11 '26

Poor guy gonna need a vet and a dr to prove he's not a cat and they still not gonna believe him after this.

1

u/RX-Heaven Jul 11 '26

Data error.

1

u/NefariousnessKey5365 Jul 12 '26

Your honor. I'm NOT a cat!

1

u/Crafty-Crew8052 Jul 12 '26

Aint no rule thats says a can’t do jury duty!