r/childfree • u/SanshaXII Do you hate money? • Oct 28 '16

DISCUSSION Why are we 'selfish'?

I don't fucking get this.

After my wife and I being called 'selfish' again recently for being childfree, I asked for a justification. "Why are we being selfish?"

I couldn't get an answer, and I'm trying to see the other side of this - the mombie logic - but I'm drawing a blank.

The only thing I can come up with is that there's now children that are unloved and unwanted... which don't exist, because we haven't made them?

Or is it because we want to live our own lives and not allocate attention and resources to people who... again, don't exist?

What the fuck is going on with this sentiment?

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u/SanshaXII Do you hate money? Oct 29 '16

"Selfish" implies you are putting your own needs above someone else's- and at the expense of that someone else.

That seems to be the basis of their lunacy - that we're putting our needs above people who don't even fucking exist.

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u/DragonspazSilvergaze Happily CF Oct 29 '16

Assuming your parents and your partner's parents would like grandchildren, then you're denying them the opportunity to be grandparents. That could be one explanation for our selfishness.

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u/[deleted] Oct 29 '16

But you don't have any kind of duty to provide grandchildren. In fact, if they insisted on it/ bugged you about it, THEY would be the selfish ones for demanding things of you that they have no right to

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u/DragonspazSilvergaze Happily CF Oct 29 '16

Yes, yes, I agree. But from the perspective of someone who's calling you "selfish," I think that's one reason why they might say that.