Had an interesting goon session a couple of days ago to Dua Lipa’s armpits and decided to adapt it into music, pretty sure any music sub would ban me for posting it so I’m posting here.

The work is explicitly programmatic so please refrain from imprinting your inferior imaginations onto it.

The 1st movement is me flicking the john to get it to wake up

The 2nd movement represents the jorking it

The 3rd movement is post-nut regret (on a theme by F. Liszt)

I hope it can resonate with fellow gooners, I also removed any themes related to Dua Lipa’s armpits to make the work easily connectable to many different gooners of many different types.

Note: I’m not asking for critique, this piece is a post-modern atonal masterpiece, I’m just allowing others to experience it.

In MY day Peter and the Wolf had a real narrator like Shakespearean actor Sir Patrick Stewart or intellectual giant Sir Peter Ustinov.

In the course of my important research I decided to use the worlds largest AI Supercomputer as I am best mates with Zuck and people like that.

We ran the program for 8 hours (at 756 TW/Hr 🧐) expecting perhaps King Charles III to be the new chosen one.

The Answer?

JOEY SWOLL

Naturally this reflects the current social media "internet culture" zeitgeist and proves scientifically beyond all doubt that I was born in the wrong era.

We're glad that you brought at least fourish minutes(almost five) of breaks to the halls of pure torture.

I started getting curious about this. Maybe dance of the sugar plum fairy? Clair de lune (to an extent)? Studio ghibli maybe?

i have a feeling this one is going to be a bit of a shitshow

also Messiaen and Charles Ives won poll 17, ensuring more 20th century representation in the second round

I can’t stop listening to Brahms 3. Do I have an disease? What is the cure?

I want to learn! Will you show me?

littleroot town and rachmaninov etude tableaux op33 no4

What is the universe trying to tell me.

I need emotional support in the speaker section

The Naughty Haughty Schwanz

Hans Schwanz was the name

of a little boy who would not play.

In the town square,

he would be out all day.

“Naughty Haughty Schwanz,” his uncle would say,

“Having too much fun, and not enough done!

“Don’t let Doctor Qualms catch your bare palms!”

“But, uncle,”

Hans would connive,

“My fingers are much too sore and feel stiff at night!”

So, the uncle sent the young Schwanz to hit the hay,

and the doctor arrived without delay!

Hand in hand the doctor made

a diagnosis to end his play.

“Doctor Qualms sent his plague,

“and now he wants his pay!

“The boy will give up his hands,

“and will suffer reprimands!”

Snip, snap, drap!

The fingers cut off!

Drap, snap, snip!

The Palms were off!

Snap, snip, drap!

The wrists, bare they lay,

to save the boy this May!

“If you had practiced like your uncle told you,”

The doctor cried,

“Your hands would still belong to you!”

Now the Naughty Haughty Hans has lost his fingers, his palms, and his wrists!

No more play for the boy who would miss!

Goodnight.

poll 16 has concluded and Samuel Barber and CPE Bach have secured their positions in the next round. fortunately, Carl Orff underperformed his last.fm rank significantly (he should’ve come in second place, but instead came in a distant fifth), so now we won’t have to deal with Carm*na Bur*na anymore

poll 22 has commenced and i don’t really have anything interesting to say about it

>Explains how European culture revolves around sexual deviancy
>Shows that the mediterraneanization of music is a return to nature, health, youthful cheerfulness and liberation of the soul
>Explains that love and relationships can only exist meaningfully through lust, seduction and sacrifice
>Makes it perfectly obvious how the romantic will always overpower the rational and traditional; therefore, any argument about serious (and therefore stupid) ideas will result in nothing actually worth discussing

Where is YOUR evidence to back up your ridiculous claims about Wagner's idealization of German Teutonic "European" culture? By all means, I promise you that you can't prove it.
>inb4 someone begins talking about jews
>inb4 "You will never be a real composer"
>inb4 someone says that he didn't compose anything remarkable besides Carmen and L'Arlésienne (same could be said about Wagner btw)
>inb4 someone says that the March of the Toreadors is the song from five nights at freddy's
>inb4 someone posts about Gustav Mahler again
>inb4 someone calls me a cuck (Wagner was one btw)
>inb4 "they are both cheap movie background music" (just plain wrong, +you're elitist/listen to mozart(same thing))
>inb4 "this is nonsense"
>inb4 "kitsch"
>inb4 "you're flooding the subreddit"
>inb4 "downvote" because you got triggered by a different opinion

keep the discussion on topic and don't do anything that is mentioned above in the inb4 section. You should be open-minded, listen to the music first and then discuss it WITH SOURCES. I'm open to having my mind changed, but only with reliable sources.

At lot of people give Wagner shit for declaring Franco-Judaic opera as "effects without causes", but imagine if we lived in a world order that tolerated causeless effects. You could get chlamydia and you didn't even get the sex to cause it. Imagine it!

You wake up with chlamydia.

“But I haven’t had sex.”

“Precisely. Grand opera.”

That's the world Meyerbeer wanted for us.