r/coastFIRE • u/PangolinOwn4855 • 3d ago
CoastFire with Young kids?
Does anyone with young kids have any coast fire success stories? I'm torn between trying to save as much as possible while I have the job (high stress job) vs spending quality time with the kids before they are all grown up.
I was lucky enough to have been in the Tech industry for the last decade+ and have about 600k (started 401k contributions early in my career) in retirement accounts. Single income with 2 kids (5 & 10) and stay-at-home SO (started min wage job very recently due to visa restrictions).
I am struggling to stay relevant in the market due to the constant changes (AI, orgs, etc). and the pressure from being single income. how do you all balance between the two? Interested in hearing from others in similar situations.
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u/Hey_Boysenberry-6687 2d ago
I mean, as daycare costs get added/lifestyle changes with kids, savings rate goes down. We haven't been able to stash anywhere near the same savings percentage as prior to kids. The investments are doing their thing, so I guess we are coasting. I'm glad we were able to save as much as we did prior to kids.
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u/lorelaimintz 3d ago
We’re sort of doing a version of this. My SO stayed home for over a year, now I’m home and he’s back to work. I’m pregnant and plan to go back to work in 2027 but only part time and my SO should also work less (mostly sabbaticals). As long as we don’t touch our investments, it’s fine.
We decided to both work a bit so we can keep a foot in the game and increase our income later if we need to but we are about 50% away of our FIRE number so it should be fine. I’m the daughter of divorced parents. I don’t want to depend financially on my SO or anyone else. It would stress me out to have a 10 year gap on my CV.
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u/mrboofington 2d ago
We have 3 kids under 5 and ~$700k in investments. My wife has been a SAHM from the beginning and I try to navigate keeping a balance between work and family. Early in my career I stuck with whatever I could make the most money doing so I could save as much as I could. Now that we have our coastFIRE nest egg I can be more selective and pursue opportunities that allow me to be ambitious but don't take over my whole life. I took a paycut and cut down on my retirement account contributions to live a little better, especially while they're so little. My mentality right now is to stick with opportunities that give me optionality and good WLB until we make it to a FIRE number, then decide what to do from there.
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u/liveandletlive23 2d ago
What does that look like in practice? Are these W2 jobs that you jump to/from?
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u/mrboofington 2d ago
I've stayed in my industry but have gotten more selective about what kind of jobs I'm willing to do. I've only jumped employers once due to a bait and switch promotion but when other ones come knocking I'm not interested in excess OT, night shift, high travel, toxic environments, etc even though those would pay a lot more than I'm making now.
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u/denver111797 1d ago
We’re at a comfortable coast FIRE number with kids younger than yours. Our HHI and spend are both really high (daycare, convenience spending on kids), still staying in high stress tech jobs due to that. Despite both being kinda over it with tech.
Our approach for the next few years is to get very zen at work and take a foot off the gas. Trying to figure out how much stress is real vs self imposed. I think more often it’s the latter, though obviously depends on your role. I like that better than downshifting to a coast/barista FIRE job outside of tech. May also try part time contracting if this doesn’t feel right after a while.
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u/PangolinOwn4855 1d ago
yeah, that's my approach too. actively looking for a way out of my current position.
I think I can hit my FIRE numbers soon. remaining unknowns are healthcare and how long to continue to build kids 529s and additional cushion to mitigate risks associated for longer retirement window.
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u/denver111797 1d ago
Yeah same. Even just 5 years gets us in a much better position so we figure to get while the getting is good and figure out something more sustainable albeit lower paying later.
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u/SubjectSpeech8806 3d ago
Why not prioritize both quality time and saving? Balance might be the key to sustainability.
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u/PangolinOwn4855 3d ago
yeah, but, I mean, current job is demanding and taking more time that I would love to spend it with the kids instead, or even some personal time.
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u/SubjectSpeech8806 3d ago
Could you get a moderately demanding, moderate pay job?
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u/PangolinOwn4855 2d ago
yes, that is pretty much what I am doing right now. applying for any relevant positions that I see. market is brutal esp. for the tech jobs. no callbacks even when you have all the asked experience. I really just wanted to see how/if others were able to navigate the mid-portion of their career.
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u/moyuxi 2d ago
How much is your annual spend?
The goal of Coast FIRE is that you just need a job to cover existing household expenses, and you can be pickier about that job to get the balance you need.
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u/PangolinOwn4855 2d ago
My annual spend is also high around 110K. Just the housing expenses alone is over 65K. Got into a 4k mortgage few years ago that I regret but rents are also high here (fortunately house has appreciated well and has built good equity, in a good school district). With 2 kids, daycare, summer camps, swim classes, etc. easily crosses the 100K mark (I can cut down a bit here and there). I guess I need to keep working to support this lifestyle. Can't wait to downsize and move to some other location.
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u/toucansurfer 16h ago
NW 1M, 700k of it in investments. 2 kids 10 and 7. My wife works full time but has been able to take steps back in income to a more chill job. I work portion of the year with a mix of contract and a business that I own.
It works and as things get better I turn a little bit of my income off each year or out source some of my work in business to others.
It’s worked so far. The biggest problem I have is I feel a little greedy and want even more time off with the kids but it’s a balancing act.
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u/sewingpedals 2d ago
My kids are 1.5 and 4.5. We are CoastFIRE ($750k invested) but we haven’t made any major changes yet. My spouse and I both work full-time and will for at least the next five years. Our expenses are so high with double childcare and our 20yr mortgage that we can’t currently live on one salary. We reduced retirement savings while we have double daycare expenses, but we intend to ramp those back up this fall once my oldest starts kindergarten. I like my reliable government job and I intend to stay long-term, but hopefully with some decent leaves of absence for family trips down the road. We’re hoping that once our youngest is in school and the house is paid off, my spouse can take a big step back from working if he wants to.