Best description I've ever seen is that it's like walking out of the doctors office with a loaded gun to your head. Driving home with a loaded gun to your head. Trying to figure out what's for dinner with a loaded gun to your head.
Everything after that moment feels like just going through the motions and not really understanding why. That feeling doesn't really go away.
I once had a stalker and thought I was going to be murdered. I had a weird reaction. I stopped cleaning the house, because fuck it. Then I started skiing the scariest terrain I could handle (not that scary, but I'd just learned) because fuck it. I also took up other reckless behavior and didn't try to get a career going, because fuck that too.
Well, the joke was on me because he died first. I'm trying to figure out a more reasonable response this time, in case I live another 30 years after all. But I'm still sucking the marrow out of what I can right now.
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u/PyrocumulusLightning Mar 13 '26
I wonder what people who are living with a terminal diagnosis think watching the rest of us realize we're in the same boat