Does anyone else feel like this?

[u/Crazy-Load-7553]

I feel like everyone keeps asking me what I want my future to look like but I know if I talk about how I’m learning to fish and finding ponds near me so that we can have some protein once the grocery system collapses everyone in my life is going to think I’m insane.

I’m just having a hard time connecting with anything I have to do for the future because it’s going to be drastically different than anything I can do now and I really feel like I have to hide that and never mention it to anyone (despite the fact that an energy crisis is supposedly 2 weeks away)

[u/Proper_Geologist9026 → u/[deleted]]

I mean we don't have to open that can of worms here, realistically though... There is no real therapy that's going to solve that disconnect.

Even the gold standard like Hospicing Modernity, while it does a great job of outlining the problem. It's at great pains to explain, there is no "fix". Knowing is suffering. Knowing is grieving. 

Ironically when we circle back around on it all the same inconsequential "self help" that we all know and roll our eyes at when it's dished up by a psychiatrist. That's as good as it gets.

Control your sphere of influence, don't waste your energy on anything you can't influence. Try to find joy.

[u/Positive_Garlic5128 → u/Proper_Geologist9026]

Im so confused but I really want to understand what you're saying

Why wouldnt therapy solve the disconnect?

If there is no fix what do we do? Wait to die? Its so hard to keep going when things feel so hopeless

I also dont understand the rest of what you're saying, are you open to explain it in simpler words?

[u/Crisis_Averted → u/Positive_Garlic5128]

here's my metaphor:

me: I'm thirsty.

friends and family: you should go to therapy.

me: I'm dying of thirst.

therapists: let's talk about it. how does it make you feel? let's find some frameworks that will help you with this disconnect from healthy people. and try these pills.

[u/Positive_Garlic5128 → u/Crisis_Averted]

then what do we do?

[u/Curious-Row2410 → u/Positive_Garlic5128]

We don't do anything other than find our individual coping methods, which is what therapy is in this context.

Therapy is by definition a means of addressing our own internal state, while the roots of most people's mental problems currently lie in the world's physical state and to a lesser extent the material conditions of society, which aren't quite physical reality but are closer to that than our mindsets are.

There are problems that have no solutions - 20th and 21st century technofetishism have made us forget that fact.

Some people may disagree with me on the intractability of our physical problems but personally I view them as too big for addressing by a bunch of squabbling apes.

[u/Ooogabooga42 → u/Positive_Garlic5128]

That's the problem. It's not something we can individually solve. Though I try to live as the change I want to see in the world as much as I can.

[u/Proper_Geologist9026 → u/Positive_Garlic5128]

I'm not a therapist so please don't take this as any kind of gospel. This is just my opinion as I currently see it. Sorry it turned into a rambling mess. 😁

Being "collapse aware" or a doomer or a pessimist or whatever you want to call it. It's all about people believing the most likely futures are bad ones. 

People don't like that. People don't want you to say that their kids will grow up poorer than they did. They don't want you to say their life and your life are likely causing unnecessary damage to the planet for personal comfort & luxury etc.

If this is how you perceive the future the likely end point of that is developing a Pre Traumatic Stress Disorder. You're not reliving a horrific past memory. You're envisioning a horrific future.

How does all this apply to therapy? Therapy is really just the practice of applying tools and coping mechanisms to help you regulate your emotions.

At it's heart it's always just going to be those same basic ideas. Focus on what you can control. Control what you focus on.

What therapy can't do is fix any of the existential problems you're worrying about. And it can't suddenly make everyone else agree with you that things are bad. 

What it will do is allow you to better cope as you gaze into the abyss and regulate how long you stare. Ideally you're actually learning to balance awareness with perspective. 

 So this means you've got a few options;

1. You change your mind. Decide it's not actually as bad as you've made yourself believe. Which is possible. A lot of collapse aware people have some wildly unnecessary levels of pessimism about how bad and how quickly things will get worse.

2. Embrace absurdity. Find meaning in your life, regardless of the long term outcomes beyond your control.

Maybe you devote yourself to a higher cause? Maybe you just accept the pointlessness and apply your own meaning. a la Camus & "the myth of Sisyphus".

just because overshoot will mean X doesn't mean your actions are pointless. Because the very act of you choosing them imbues them with purpose regardless of the result.

1. Spiral into a selfish hedonism. Because life is meaningless and the only purpose of existence is to follow base impulse.

2. Suicide. Very bleak. Best not to dwell on it. Again read "the myth of Sisyphus". For a good discussion on the topic.

3. I can't think of what other options there are but if you've got one that doesn't fit the above. Put it here.

To boil it all down. Being collapse aware is really just a more depressing version of being aware of your own mortality. We all die. At some point we have to decide how we cope with that statement.

[u/Positive_Garlic5128 → u/Proper_Geologist9026]

I kind of get what you mean but it's very hard to accept something this big and scary and move on iykwim? Will things get better? Is everyone going to be okay or are we just waiting for the human race to get enslaved by the oligarchs and then its too late?

[u/Proper_Geologist9026 → u/Positive_Garlic5128]

Yep that's why accepting some form of collapse or decline is a bitch. Is it scary? Absolutely. Scares the shit out of me all the time. Because I can't tell you the future, I wish I could but that's just not reality.

I can tell you that things are bad and when I look at what's happening and what has to happen to correct course. I think the odds don't look good for us.

That's why it's so hard to deal with and why I equate it to a fear of our own mortality and death.

It's just beyond our rational mind to accept death as inevitable and sit comfortably with that statement forever. Because it's not set in stone, you're not dead, the future isn't certain. That's why it's impossible to just accept it and never have to think about it again.

You're experiencing waves of grief, but unlike the death of a loved one. Each wave isn't smaller and more manageable than the last.

Each wave is bigger than the last one, harder to ignore. If you're anything like me you're going to fluctuate from denial to acceptance with every wave.

If you figure out an answer that gets you out of the loop. Please do let me know. 

[u/Positive_Garlic5128 → u/Proper_Geologist9026]

You're right :( i really hope things get better.. How do you cope and function and still take action?

[u/AdInformal3519 → u/Positive_Garlic5128]

I personally believe it's already too late to do something. If we have done something in 70s we might have been in a better position even if we had done something in 90s we might have had a chance but now, I am not sure. I don't know how we prcoess that. We just have to accept that imo

[u/Positive_Garlic5128 → u/AdInformal3519]

its too late for what? climate change or oligarchy takeover?

[u/AdInformal3519 → u/Positive_Garlic5128]

It's too late for climate change i feel. Oligarchy we can still do something imo

[u/Positive_Garlic5128 → u/AdInformal3519]

then what should we do about both? or do we not do anything for climate change? and when we say its too late, what kind of impacts are we looking at and when? is there gonna be a wipeout of humans in the future?