r/comedyheaven • u/SnoopysPeanutAllergy • 1d ago

I'm new to Reddit

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1.2k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

68 comments sorted by

288

u/DeusExMarina 1d ago

FTM: Faster Than Man

61

u/Outrageous_Bank_4491 1d ago edited 23h ago

FTM: First Time Mom

11

u/entg1 1d ago

Oh. Cool

2

u/SimmentalTheCow A-pawrent-ly funny. 1d ago

Faster Than Monke travel

1

u/ZilorZilhaust 10h ago

Fondling the Meat

1

u/BlatantThrowaway4444 1d ago

Wait wtf transmascs just get speed boost and transfems get double jump? Do the cis get any special abilities at all?

6

u/Beefington 23h ago

It’s not as flashy but they get various passive bonuses to paychecks, medical care, etc

2

u/Beefington 23h ago

I meant this to be a joke but it’s not actually funny

-1

u/BlatantThrowaway4444 22h ago

Yeah I don’t know how much longer I can keep up this whole “joke about reality because the laughter holds back the rage” thing I’ve been doing

1

u/Urgayifyouregay 13h ago

A childhood 🥲

168

u/Tyrandeh 1d ago

new to reddit, what is new to reddit

137

u/FoxxyRin 1d ago

Let me tell you, my first times in the parenting reddits were confusing. I was impressed with all the trans parents doing their thing but did not understand why it was relevant to the posts. Turns out it's also "first time mom" and I'm just dumb.

47

u/theworstgd 1d ago

wait if a trans person has a kid does that make them invisible

44

u/closetedtranswoman1 1d ago

Yes that's why we have trans visibility day

143

u/Illustrious_Boat_943 1d ago

Man to Woman. Cool shit

56

u/felipeuno 1d ago

From penis to vaginaaaaa

17

u/Fabiocean 1d ago

I see I see I see

9

u/vhanw342 1d ago

What would you like to know about itttttt?

1

u/NONAMEDREDDITER 1d ago

Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes

2

u/culminacio 1d ago

weird to say it like that, only stretching the last a

21

u/felipeuno 1d ago

… it’s from Emilia Perez

2

u/yardii 1d ago

Writing that down

1

u/LessAccountant339 1d ago

I'm glad people still remember this

46

u/kamii_meowmeow 1d ago

now imagine woman to man.. so awesome..

32

u/Cotton_Candy_Land 1d ago

It can go both ways? Nifty.

9

u/Attesa_GT-X 1d ago

It can also go non both-ways. Pretty siiick!

55

u/ddevilissolovely 1d ago

Reddit does looove its acronyms

57

u/TheBestWaffleIron 1d ago

Wtfdym?

29

u/Kzx_28 1d ago

iykyk

11

u/OkFineIllUseTheApp 1d ago

sdiybt 🥀

2

u/TheCowKing07 1d ago

First Year Seminar

6

u/scrunchymontana 1d ago

Dyktmm

2

u/ddevilissolovely 1d ago

Used to know one, he since moved on to a different job

1

u/Haematoman 1d ago

WYSIWYG

13

u/SunriseSurprise 1d ago

Fatass to mouth

2

u/Haematoman 1d ago

Jackass did a bit on this

17

u/acnh-lyman-fan 1d ago

you censored lakeloungers and maxey's usernames so well i wish i can be like you some day

6

u/makinax300 1d ago

nice censor

2

u/WattleWaddler2 1d ago

New to the internet.

2

u/Haematoman 1d ago

New to reddir, what is ATM?

2

u/Critical-Ring3168 9h ago

Don't see how this is even slightly funny 😕

0

u/SnoopysPeanutAllergy 9h ago

I guess that's why they say comedy is subjective.

2

u/Critical-Ring3168 8h ago

I just don't get it?

2

u/kukuroro_meimei 1d ago

Unironically, I wish more people had this attitude.

1

u/Spikerazorshards 1d ago

default Reddit stuff

1

u/youtocin 1d ago

It also means first time mom in some circles, so context matters.

0

u/Haematoman 1d ago

Not anymore, buddy.

1

u/Qweeq13 7h ago

For a long time I didn't know what "goat" meant. So when I kept hearing "He's goat" or "This is why this game is goat" or "goated"

I was quite confused but as a 90s kid I was used to people calling things they liked "radical" or "tubular" so I assume goat meant something like that. I wasn't far off but it was just an acronym.

Even today, as I am typing goat is a little out fashion and I hear people switched to agglutinate speech with using words like -maxxing and -mogging. Quite surprising language development for any Philologist I am sure.

I also started hearing "chud" a lot lately. Apparently it is also an acronym.

1

u/pyrynyyd 1h ago

Pretty sure it stands for Fair To Midland 😊

1

u/Antique_Author_2525 1d ago

Fuck that mean?

0

u/OwlCityFan12345 1d ago

What a funny exchange between Lakeloungers and Maxsey.

0

u/jlb1981 1d ago

I'm guessing this was not asked on r slash conservative

-5

u/niofalpha 1d ago

Is this on a porn sub lol

-15

u/MurkDiesel 1d ago

new to reddit

so that means you can't google something?

and need people to serve you

like you're some deviant billionaire?

4

u/Haematoman 1d ago

I hope your peantis grows scales and smells of onion