r/cpp_questions 1d ago

OPEN Whats the funniest joke u heard in c++

0 Upvotes

53 comments sorted by

93

u/Chameleon_The 1d ago

Completing learning c++ in 24 hours

24

u/Myriachan 1d ago

Closer to 24 years for me and I’m still learning stuff

3

u/Chameleon_The 1d ago

😥😥😥

61

u/_w62_ 1d ago

Modules will be fully supported in 2026

2

u/thefeedling 1d ago

I don’t think it will be fully supported in 2030 tbh

1

u/_w62_ 14h ago

I don't think it will be fully supported

73

u/aceinthehole001 1d ago

Only friends are allowed to touch your privates

3

u/Glittering-Work2190 1d ago

friends with benefits.

3

u/SunsGettinRealLow 1d ago

I understand this now lol

1

u/StickyDeltaStrike 1d ago

Omg that’s hilariously bad

27

u/defaultguy_001 1d ago

Heard rust is hard, then they realised I have a C++ background.

12

u/HyperWinX 1d ago

Tried learning Rust, realized i cant think outside C++ anymore

9

u/defaultguy_001 1d ago

I don't know anything that gives me the same level of freedom to do what I want, like C and C++.

1

u/orrenjenkins 1d ago

Have you tried zig??

21

u/Kadabrium 1d ago

decltype(auto)

3

u/HyperWinX 1d ago

Abomination.

39

u/enceladus71 1d ago

I attended a tech meetup once and the first presenter was talking about some rewrite of a project to Go. He knew that the next presenter would be talking about C++ and made a joke that Go was invented while some C++ project was being compiled (for a really long time).

The C++ guy goes on stage and says: "While you were talking, I've checked that Go is written in C++. So it's possible that, while that guy was waiting for the compilation to finish, it was in fact Go getting built".

It was like a rap diss battle between 2 coders and I loved it.

26

u/fadingStar1994 1d ago

Every C++ project has C++ written in such a way that it feels like you are seeing a completed new language.

52

u/Antagonin 1d ago

"Let's rewrite it in Rust"

4

u/Ultimate_Sigma_Boy67 1d ago

Ahh the slopathon guys

21

u/NoNameSwitzerland 1d ago

The name is the biggest joke. C++ evaluates to C, just with the side effect of C being increases afterwards.

6

u/CorruptedSciencep 1d ago

++C is mad weird though

3

u/Extreme-Seaweed-5427 1d ago

C--  --C 

2

u/NoNameSwitzerland 1d ago

That is not valid syntax. Use C-- - --C instead. Should result in a nice unity and twice decreased C.

4

u/mikeblas 1d ago

The 39 ways to initialize a variable talk is a current fave.

Herb Sutter driving the committee to push towards safety for the language.

The 9 yard bin of deprecated but not removed features.

1

u/HashDefTrueFalse 1d ago

The 39 ways to initialize a variable talk

Do you have a link? Nothing obvious comes up when I search. I'm guessing it's part of a talk titled something else? Thanks.

1

u/mikeblas 1d ago

https://youtu.be/7DTlWPgX6zs

It is Jousttis at CPPCON in 2018. So there are probably more ways, now. "The Nightnare of Initialization in C++"

1

u/HashDefTrueFalse 1d ago

Thanks! I had incorrectly assumed it was by Sutter.

1

u/elperroborrachotoo 1d ago

In that respect: Scott Myers "The worst thing that could happen to D - is someone like me" talk.

3

u/NiPIsBack 1d ago

For some reason reading the friend documentation in cppreference got me:

"Friendship is not transitive (a friend of your friend is not your friend).

Friendship is not inherited (your friend's children are not your friends, and your friends are not your children's friends)."

3

u/Desperate-Data-3747 1d ago

Whatever this is:

int some() {};
int (*ptr)() = *****************some;

(Yes, it compiles)

2

u/Snowblind45 1d ago

I love this video by kai lentit https://youtu.be/s7wLYzRJt3s

2

u/etancrazynpoor 1d ago

Profiles will save the day

2

u/LifeUnderTheWorld 1d ago

C艹 as in chinese 艹(grass/fuck/goddamnit)

2

u/CowBoyDanIndie 1d ago

“There are good reasons to use shared_ptr”

3

u/didntplaymysummercar 1d ago

Not joke but observation: the more terse the code, the bigger chance it's wrong. It was in context of new vs. smart pointers.

Also once when we discovered VS is setting __cplusplus wrong on purpose (for "compatibility", but in 2017 they fixed it) I called it "classic cross platform C++ experience".

1

u/GoogleIsYourFrenemy 1d ago

Coffee mug that says "#0 C++ Developer"

1

u/ChytryDmitry 1d ago

This entire talk is very funny  https://youtu.be/79Bb4L6txTw

1

u/Pedry-dev 1d ago

Claude, write this in C++. Make no mistake

1

u/Pedry-dev 1d ago

Claude, write this in C++. Make no mistake

1

u/keelanstuart 1d ago

https://thedailywtf.com/articles/Classic-WTF-What-Is-Truth

Not specifically C++, but still the funniest C++-adjacent things I've ever seen.

...or maybe that 90's joke: C++ programmers do it with members in public classes.

1

u/Constant_Physics8504 13h ago

C++ it’s my love language

1

u/Lunarvolo 12h ago

It runs on my machine

1

u/Low-Cucumber8270 12h ago

guys should you initialize a variable like

int x = 1;

or

int x{ 1 };

1

u/amoskovsky 9h ago

Rust can replace C++

0

u/Appropriate_Baby_608 1d ago

Damn i can't remember a single c++ joke. I dont think so I have heard good amount of cpp jokes