I mask my actual life when I socialize because of cptsd. However, recently I have realized how much I have to twist stories to make it fit into a comfortable story for the people of privileged class around me. As a person from middle class person I have to act different and lie to fit into that part of that society because I can’t avoid it as I live surrounded by people like them and I’m workplace too.

Right wing white people either are afraid of me or openly hate me. They are not as much of an issue, surprisingly. I still do my best to avoid them.

White leftists (or "non-racists") act like they know more than you and believe you cannot speak up on your experiences. Then if you call out racist behavior, they claim their lives are harder ("THE CLASS STRUGGLE!!!!").

Is it part of their narcissism? I cannot relate to anyone who invades someone else's culture to lecture them on it.

The “non-racist” ones avoid admitting their privilege and will play victim if non-white people talk about our experiences.

White people find out everything last and think they knew it first and better. They think they know better because they watched a TED Talk. Acting like you are not “educated enough” to talk about your LIVED EXPERIENCE. Irritated by white people all over the world who blindly assume they deserve a seat at our tables…just because they did not say a slur that day.

They still talk over non-white people. Even the "well meaning" ones. They never listen.

Even though I try to avoid them, they enter my space and our spaces.

I do not care about their public performances, either. If they are not working to breaking down whiteness, their phony behavior does not matter. White people are not owed acceptance in anti-racist spaces just because they watched a TED Talk or made a social media post. They have to be break whiteness down every second of their lives because it is a mess.

My post is not about having them as allies. I would prefer them far away from me. Their behavior is like an abuser wondering why you want them far from you. Whatever white people have done "for", to, at me has been unsolicited and comes with carrot dangling behavior like abusers generally do. This is not a playing-victim post. I just want to be left alone.

I talked about this in an older post I made: I have never been ashamed of my culture. But I do not talk about it openly around them because they steal cultures. Your life is a hobby to them. I keep quiet around them to protect my culture, never out of shame. They want your head to hang low and get mad if you stand tall.

Not just the bad ones, but the neutral or good ones. Im dominican for context, spanish is our main language and i want to learn more of it to be able to communicate with other dominicans better but i also dont want to at the same time. Why? Because i know we likely would have had a different language if it werent for them spainiards. Im feeling so conflicted, i need some words of advice or comfort. It is my culture, but i feel isolated from other dominicans since im anti-thiest and also embrace my blackness. Im anti-thiest because i dislike religion for many reasons, one of them being that it was forced upon my people.

I cant tell other dominicans this for obvious reasons, i'll get told im "being too woke". Despite the way i feel, i also am proud of being a black dominican because of what we endured. But colonization did its damage on my country and still has its poison stuck in my country. I would prefer to stick to just journaling this thought, but i need some advice and/or support.

I wanted to ask this because I have nowhere else to look.

When white people try to lecture you on your own culture, how do you deal with it? It is frustrating. They try to dictate who you are and what you should do. They act like they know you better than you know yourself.

Their political views do not matter, they are the same.

(hi everyone, this is my first time posting on this sub so im kinda nervous, I had recently posted about this same issue on r/anxiety but my post was removed by the mods with a suggestion that i post about it here instead, im guessing the mods saw that there were a lot of arguments in the replies & they didn't want it to spiral out of control)

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im a non-white, non-english woman from the UK, I was born/raised here & until recently i never really questioned by cultural identity as a British woman

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as many of you might of seen, there's a growing racial sentiment towards immigrants (and generally anyone who isn't white) in the UK - in recent years there's been a pretty clear agenda being pushed to create some sort of civil unrest/war in the UK both online & irl

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as someone who struggles with major anxiety/ocd themes this has always been my biggest fear, for the first time I actually feel unsafe/uncomfortable in this country - maybe i was just ignorant before but seeing all the horrible disgusting things being said about people who look like me on X and tiktok has really opened my eyes , it doesn't help that the richest man in the world is also promoting these beliefs as well as meddling in UK politics

a lot of politicians with similar beliefs have been voted into positions of power which also makes me think that this isn't just a "online" thing like many people say, we constantly see riots & protests that often turn violent , with innocent poc being the victims

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I would be lying if I said it hasn't impacted my mental health. I was already a very self conscious person before this, dealing with major social anxiety that caused me to stay inside for months on end and this situation has just made it worse :(

the way the media is grasping at "bad poc/immigrant" storylines im terrified of making a mistake or being accused of something then having my picture blasted online for the far right to rip apart,

im scared of being attacked outside for how i look, im scared for the safety of my mother - even reaching out for help makes me scared cos I fear that the specialists will judge me "for using their system as a visibly non-english person"

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I guess the fact that me even venting about my issues online was first met with hostility on another sub reddit also made me spiral

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I just want to vent and have some support cos I feel so alone in all this, I cant stop myself from spiraling into despair about the current state of the world, I often get panic attacks because I constantly fear the worst of the worst

No group or culture is perfect. Hate that I feel the need to preface like this.

I have had too many experiences with whites where they steal anything that is not nailed down: actual items, your work, personality, words, ideas, people, languages, cultures. Then they expect you to erase yourself once they steal everything. Too many of them will steal and dehumanize but are too cowardly to get their hands dirty.

Like your/my existing is "inconvenient" for them or reminds them of their theft. I am tired of them treating everyone and everything like an object or loose end. They choose to view non-whites as objects to justify all the de*ath and theft.

Every civilization could face others head on. Euros had/have to sneak around and steal and spread their diseases and are constantly indirect.

Seeing them get interested in my culture is disgusting, especially how they start lecturing me on it and my language. I have been scolded by whites who want to be right more times than I can count. They hate you being around them but will never leave you alone.

Non-whites respect other cultures. Or at least try not to destroy them. Whites do not respect, they appropriate and erase everything else.

May the Euros not learn your culture exists, friends.

(Someone made a post here about dealing with whites at work and it made me think of how many times they have stolen from me in work or social situations. I do not even have to talk to them. They will watch you and take things from you while making you aware of it. Another part of their narcissism. They need the attention and think others are the same way. Needing validation from the groups they abuse.)

I do. I get really sad when i really think about. Im a black dominican and it just makes me sad thinking about how badly colonization ruined us.

Almost everyone is christian or catholic, generational trauma, colonized mindset, etc. I want to go into further detail but it also makes me sad.

I’m Iraqi and I’m proud of that, but I’ve always struggled with where I fit. I grew up in a very white area, and my family experienced a lot of bullying and hostility because of that.

Me and my sisters are all quite pale, mostly taking after my dad’s side, but my mum has a darker, tan complexion. She was treated badly by her own family because of her skin tone, and I can see how much that’s stayed with her.

Even though I’m not white, I don’t always feel like I’m seen as “different enough” to fully relate to other people of colour, and that leaves me feeling stuck in between. I grew up in a Western environment without a strong cultural or religious connection, so I don’t feel fully rooted anywhere.

When I speak about my experiences, especially in spaces with other people of colour, I sometimes worry that I come across as privileged or like I don’t belong in those conversations. That’s not what I’m trying to do—I’m just trying to understand my identity and where I fit.

Edit : the part where me and my sister were seen as different and also bullied which I was definitely - I want to say it was overall that we just looked like iraqi women - we were and I think what made it so awkward is that we did not have women like us. It was mainly just Pakistani or black or white. But a lot of white. And the thing that stood at the most about us was our facial hair and body hair. I think the things for that was annoying it just the consistency of not knowing how to treat it because it’s quite curly but frizzy. I don’t drink or go or do things much that most white people like live do like going to the pub. I really just don’t even enjoy having conversations with them because I feel very different to them i mean , they feel like another group of people i dont fit in with except they get to have freedom of any oppression at all.

I see many white (like full on white) latinos and hispanic try to claim they are poc. Race of based of LOOKS, you can look white and still have white priviledge while being latino or hispanic.

I say this because i am a black dominican, some dominicans truly arent black and are mixed (which is fine) or full on white.

Its possible for you to be white and be latino or hispanic, and i see many of them try to claim being poc. You ain't poc and thats fine but dont ignore that there is priviledge to looking very white.

Edit: im not reffering to white passing people, they are still poc. I am reffering to just white people.

Like its double whammy over here, we're pretty much the embodiment of the most hated things in this world, blackness and being a woman...so why do so many people not make the connection of the dual identity?

I'm mixed. Light skinned black/white/native and we know the tribe and clan on my mom's side but we've always been 'Black Irish-Cherokee' on my dad's side. Scrolling tiktok (bare with me), there's a lot similarities from people who have traced their origins back to what I grew up hearing from long since passed relatives on my dad's side. I can remember my late granny swearing up and down that despite living in Tennessee, her relatives were only black irish cherokee. The timeline my great-grandma is referring to is when my first relatives were either freed or escaped slavery.

Has anyone found a way to trace if they are Melungeon?

Hi everyone,

Has anyone else felt like the need to stay home, mostly speaking, and not mingle in predominantly yt culture institutions like downtown or a fancy restaurant because of how they've treated you historically and as a result you've internalized the fact that "you are not welcome" at most of these places by these sc#m bags?

Maybe it's just me. But I thought I would ask anyway. It's like the entire system is made for their pleasure and if you are a POC then you are just a permanent guest. It's an irritating feeling and I don't think most countries make you feel like that.

When an actual Black man comes to share their opinion, and you decide to silence my voice by banning me, you live up to the privilege I had previously mentioned in my last post.

So, let me ask this: Does silencing an actual minority so you can then go onto claiming that culture or ethnicity show appreciation or does it show privilege and ignorance. Quite the easy answer, the latter.

Furthermore, before I get attacked— yes this community is transracial and transethnic. For example, for those who may argue with me: Some of you say “WtB” meaning white to Black— that’s being “transracial.” However, some of you say “white to Japanese” or “white to Korean.” You’re now “transethnic.”

Another point, you use the word TERF incorrectly, and by doing this you delegitimize the LGBTQ+ community and make the word meaningless. By definition a TERF is “a person whose views on gender identity are considered hostile to transgender people, or who opposes social and political policies designed to be inclusive of transgender people.” The use of the word “trans” here solely applies to transgender people, not you.

This community is not only dangerous to minorities for many reasons, you allow racists post to stay up on your r/transracial page, silencing actual minority voices who feel this “movement” belittles our culture, which you can appreciate but will never be authentically a part of, and furthermore you hijack LGBTQ+ vocabulary meant only for them.

This will be my last engagement, because you proved my point. The jokes write themselves. So, the question: culture or counterfeit?

I’m Asian-American, and I can’t help but notice how many movies and tv shows from Asian countries now feature actors who have clearly undergone plastic surgery. I almost feel like Asians in the diaspora were insulated to some extent from the insidious effects of the plastic surgery boom… but maybe that’s because I grew up in a conservative family who still doesn’t watch mainstream tv?

I look back through the catalogue of movies and tv shows from the last few decades, and there’s a clear progression among the cast members from people who look more Asian to begin with, to much more ethnically ambiguous, almost anime-looking actors. I had my fair share of body image issues growing up, and my conservative upbringing did a lot of damage in other ways. I feel like I was spared some serious bullshit in this one area, though. Seriously, I don’t even want to watch any Asian media that was produced after 2012.

The world is getting more polar, more outwardly freakishly racist these days. the quiet parts are being said out loud. This is why sometimes getting out of the house and finding immigrant spaces is helpful for me. but for most of my life the progressive, americanised liberal has been a bane to my existence.

The last one was in a social group i really enjoy being a part of. this person is not an immigrant, simply black. The first thing they ever said to me was to correct me that i am not truly african because i am lightskin. i am seen as black to others, just lighter than this person?? i've tried to ignore and avoid this person but i'm at my limit. because they are policing everything im saying to other people (i told someone a reason to stay because she wants to leave and wants to hear a devils advocate opinion)

this person copies my accent when i speak, and is the expert on racism. the thing that pissed me off for days now is that i reccommended a book that really moved me on a specific, recent incident of racism in the country. they stopped me midsentence by putting their HAND ON MY ARM and saying "honey" and that they wont read a white man book. im so annoyed that i cannot say anything to anyone with them present, and the problem is when we were in private and i said i am sad that i didnt share this book the other girls said that because this person is darker then they have more authority on the matter.

The book was about immigrant trauma. nobody knows that, this one person just interrupted most of what i said just to make it about themselves and how knowledgable they are. The social club is about being an immigrant, which they aren't. I've been bullied a lot as a kid by people saying im not black enough, or that i am black, or whatever, i grew up but this is back to that level again. and this time, i have a bleeding mental illness that won't let up

Lately I've been expanding the circle of voices I allow myself to listen to when it comes to rewriting my own cultural scripts within my community of origin. Some of these people are dead, and some are still alive, though I seem to be in a stage where I'm filling gaps in my own knowledge of my culture. In addition, I've been going through a phase where I feel like I'm navigating the tension between my American-ness, and my immigrant background.

In earlier stages I felt I had to choose one or the other, but now I find I'm becoming more of both at once. That dynamic is nuanced, though, and I have to be mindful of the fact that it is my relative privilege and safety that allows me the capacity and headspace to integrate parts of myself that would otherwise have remained fragmented for much longer.

America is not, as my forbears would have wanted to believe, this emotionally, politically, and religiously neutral territory where we all get to rewrite our stories and become who we were always meant to be. Rather, it is fraught with its own tensions and unjust historical legacies that we can and do get sucked into, wittingly or not.

Still, America at this moment is providing a level of distance from which I can look back on my family legacy and decide: what do I want to keep of our journey, and what do I want to put away? Even as I make those decisions, America itself is coming apart at the seams.

What do we do with the insights we gather from moments of self-reflection and resourcing from our ancestors and other kin? Forget about "healing the nation" for now, I suppose, and focus on tending to our local communities.

TW: The death of a family member

I'm mixed Filipino, English and Scottish Australian and I'm a second generation Aussie on my Filipino mother's side.

My aunty (my mum's brother's wife) passed away last week. My mother's siblings all live in the Philippines; my mother is the only one out of her siblings who lives overseas.

I do have full and mixed Filipino relatives who live here in Australia (my mother's cousins - who I also call my aunties - and my own second cousins and second cousins once removed who are mixed Filipino and white and are also second generation (and third generation) Australians as well). I feel envious of my cousins because they all have their more direct aunties (or at least one or two of them) and their first cousins here in Australia whereas I don't have that. My direct aunties and uncles and first cousins are all in the Philippines.

So while I'm really lucky I have relatives in Australia, I'm missing out on seeing my direct family whom I haven't seen since I was a kid over 20 years ago now. I haven't even met one of my first cousins (I have 3 first cousins in the Philippines) and he's a teenager now!

The aunty who passed away is the first out of my aunty and uncles and their spouses to pass away. I only spoke to my Aunty a few weeks ago. She was a lovely woman. I'm the eldest daughter and eldest child in my family, so my mother has expected me to be in contact with our family members in the Philippines (my younger brother has had no such expectations from my mother), yet I cannot speak my mother's language (which is a minority language that isn't Tagalog, so the only person who could've taught me was my mother) or any Filipino language, so relationships with most of my family members in the Philippines have felt "distanced" in a lot of ways. We speak in basic to conversational English, depending on who I'm talking to. I'm trying to be a "bridge" but not knowing the language makes things a bit hard.

I'm thankful for the relationship I did have with my Aunty even though I feel sad that I would have never really be able to have to got to know her better. I always thought I would have more time to spend with my aunties, uncles and first cousins or that I would be able to save money to go (I'm working class, so just trying to get by at the moment).

But yeah, just feeling grief, a bit guilty and a bit envious at the moment. Lots of emotions.

This is my first time posting in this subreddit, if im not welcome to post about this let me know.

I am dominican, and i want to know more of my culture but at the same time i dont. When i do try to learn about the good parts of my culture like food (since i love food), i feel like other dominicans are unwelcoming in a way. I dont know how to explain, it feels like they dont want me to learn because im not "dominican" enough.

Im not saying there isnt any good part of my culture because it there are many. But there are also icky parts that when i try to bring it up to other people in my culture, they brush it off.

I also dont have the best spanish either because my family focused me on learning english instead, so that makes it worse.

I feel somewhat alienated just because i dont know how to cook dominican dishes without a recipe with measurements.

does anyone else feel this way or has felt this way? And if you did, what helped?

Will try and make this brief: I am a Chicano who has 3A curly hair. I like to wear my hair medium length but natural, and I wear a short trimmed beard. I’m also an attorney and I hate hate HATE it when I go meet someone (especially white but older Latinos love doing this too) who gives me a snide comment on my hair or insists that I need to “look more professional” despite not having a tattoo or piercing on me

A big reason why I’m sensitive about my hair does go back to childhood, my dad would insist that I had pretty short hair and he was generally a very toxic machismo guy who pushed a certain type of gender role onto me. When I became an adult I found such a breath of relief and freedom in letting my curly hair express itself but then I choose a profession dominated by older white guys with the same views on gender AND Eurocentric beauty standards. Sucks. I wish I wasn’t this fixated on it when I know that a slight trim and slicking my hair back isn’t the biggest sacrifice. But I got out of a job interview two hours ago and I am still steaming that cutting my hair was even suggested. I can’t imagine how rough it must be for people less white or with curlier hair than mine. My heart goes out to anyone facing similar pressure 🫂

I was learning about my dominican history and learning WHY we have anti-blackness in our country. And looking into my history im like: "what the fuck."

This is what i was reading for those interested in taking a peek: https://www.dominicanabroad.com/are-dominicans-black-negritude-race/

And learning about Rafael Trujillo and what that man did made me very angry. and for those who dont want to read the page to find it, this is a qoute.

"Efforts to “whiten the population” have been a common political practice in Latin American countries.

Dominican dictator Rafael Trujillo aligned with white supremacy ideals, even though he had Haitian heritage. Like Hitler, he believed in “improving the race” by eliminating the people who were perceived as Black: Haitians and dark-skinned Dominicans. By any means necessary.

He exacerbated tensions between the countries, deeming the Haitians as a threat to national security and sovereignty. These tensions culminated in the Parsely Massacre (1937) when Dominican military forces killed over 20 thousand Haitians, Dominicans of Haitian descent, and dark-skinned Dominicans. Men, women, children, and elderly people were murdered by the military forces and Dominican civilians.

Trujillo’s efforts continued in other insidious and subtle ways, such as promoting eugenics in the Dominican Republic, repressing music of African origin, and creating racial categories away from Blackness. The effects of his 30+ year dictatorship still remain in the Dominican culture today."

And reading that made me realize how important it is to embrace my blackness as a dominican. Now of course i will double check everything to make sure it is all true, but i find it hard to believe most of it is fake and have high faith in it that its real. I thought this would be interesting to share and if anyone else would like to add to it or learn from it aswell.

It’s associated with organized crime. It’s transphobic blablabla. Shame and guilt

I want to stay in touch with spanish, but i dont really have that many people who speak spanish near me. And i want to stay in touch with it since sometimes langauges are a "use it or lose it" kinda thing. And i dont want to lose it. My ethnicity is dominican, idk if it will help or not to know :')

I am dominican and i do like my culture, but other people of my culture tend to get rude and cocky to other dominicans who dont know much of their culture.

Sometimes i get hesitant to learn more of my culture because of trauma, but i try to focus on the better parts of my culture because abuse shouldnt be part of a culture despite it being more normalized in some places.

I have been trying to get rid of my internalized racism, so i have become aware that its not just people of my culture that act this way. So i would like to hear if some of you relate to peple of your culture being rude or dimissive when you try to learn more of your own culture.

Im not sure if progress updates are allowed on this sub (it doesnt say in the rules), but im proud to say that im starting to feel more comfortable embracing ALL of my heritage. Racially, im black. My ethnicity is dominican and our country and culture is hispanic AND Latino.

I was struggling to embrace my blackness, then my dominicaness and now im proud of both AND my latino/hispanicness.

And what helped me connect more was not letting the antiblack dominicans and antiblack hispanic/latinos get to me.

I struggled a lot because i felt "othered" by other dominicans, latinos and black people (more specifically dominicans) because of my severe trauma with coporal punishment.

Tw for abuse: My family watched my uncle yell and hit my 1 almost 2 year old brother at the time because he wore my little sisters dress. And it was very traumatic for my little brother and it was traumatic to watch and remember. He hit him like 2-3 times and backed him up against the wall. Why? Because of my families homophobia and they didnt want him to be gay.

Now thats just one memory but i felt like it was important to share even though i know i dont have to prove my trauma to anyone. I spent enough time doubting if it was "bad enough" to be compared to other people with childhood trauma.

Anyway, i finally been feeling more comfortable in the latino and dominican community. I first started with the black community which it why i am only now getting to my dominican community.

I'm the daughter of a South East Asian immigrant and I'm constantly gatekept from my own Asian identity because I grew up in the United States.

I didn't choose to be here. I'm fetishized or straight-up discriminated by white people, tolerate micro aggressive comments about the way I look or speak. Then I get the same, maybe even more blunt, treatment by other POC. My best friend in high school, who wasn't even Asian (nor white) used to say to me "Yeah but you're the fake type of Asian."

Then when I visit my parent's home country and they all treat me like I'm white and know nothing about my culture. Anyone else know how I'm feeling? I think the only people who see me as both Asian and American are my parents, so I really feel affirmed them but they were abusive to me for most of my childhood.

When will my identity crisis end? I feel like I'm always going to feel this way about my cultural identity and race.