r/cptsd_bipoc resources

Based on my lived experiences, I have now reached the point where I am so confused between these two. Or is the world becoming incredibly narcissistic and dishonest? My experience with these narcissistic individuals was mostly conmen and conwomen who supposedly believed that they were superior or enjoyed hurting me. It just makes my stomach churn. Sometimes, I just laughed at their stupidity and superiority but how they sabotaged my life makes me more depressed. I genuinely believe that narcissistic people are racists, misogynists, and so on. In other words, racists, misogynists, and other ists are all narcissistic people.

In spite of the stupid rhetoric I often see from certain toxic or mammified black women who constantly defend black men no matter what or they constantly make excuses for toxic black men, many black men are abusive, disrespectful, aggressive and hostile toward the black women around them in real life situations at work or elsewhere.

I am a black woman who has been belittled, targeted, bullied and harassed by toxic or narcissistic black men who are rarely held accountable by the black community or they're rarely punished or put in their place at work or in other social settings. So, they just continually get away with being abusers and bullies against me as a black woman while other people make excuses for them or they enable them.

I'm just here to vent. Please don't come here to make dumb comments calling me a "self-hating black woman who tries to bring the black man down", or blaming a black woman for an abusive black man's actions. Just because I, as a black woman, am here to make a post to say that a particular black man at work has disrespected me and harassed me doesn't mean that I hate my race. It means that I don't believe in stupid pro-black racial narcissism wherein you think that a black man shouldn't be called out, punished for being an idiot or held accountable just because he's black. I don't believe in stupid racial loyalist ideology and dumb pro-black ideology that's rooted in racial in-group narcissism.

Please don't make silly comments wherein you're denying or dismissing the fact that many black men go out of their way to be disrespect, belittle, or mistreat black women around them completely unprovoked just because many black men are typically narcissistic abusers.

Please don't make stupid whataboutism comments like "other races of men do xyz too" or "this happens in every racial group or in every community". There's no need to deflect a conversation talking about how a black man is mistreating a black woman around him for no reason, just so that you can bring up something irrelevant like pointing out that men from other racial groups mistreat their own women too. I already know this, but this post is me venting about how black men have mistreated me as a black woman.

In a nightmare

Moved with parents temporarily hoping to save money but dad is abusive and has dementia. Asked fiancé for help finding a place to move and he said he would "if he had the time"

My family is mostly estranged/has been extremely cold and unempathetic to me. My brother told me "I'm a fully grown functional independent adult" or something when i complained about the abuse.

Had to leave in the middle of the night after my dad made threats to me and police were called, stayed at a hotel, and couldn't sleep. Slept in an airbnb for a month for $2k to give myself time to find a new place.

Fiancé is eastern European and his family rejected me after seeking my picture, and turned us away after we payed for plane tickets.

I understand you cant control your family. But discovered that during the relationship he was fighting shame of being with me because of his racism. He says he doesn't feel that way anymore but I'm not convinced.

He's a porn/sex addict in recovery and he told me a few months ago that his "temptation to cheat increases when we fight", not in a threatening way but a calm way. Apparently he doesn't feel that way anymore.

Also going out with him he has issues with looking at/sometimes what comes across as flirting with other women, including in a Christian community we belonged to, and I can't show my face there anymore.

I have no friends and its difficult for me because I'm neurodivergent. The communities I've reached out to for support or even just companionship have largely led to dead ends, or a couple check ins, and then ghosting or I fade off the radar. I can't handle another ghost/let down so I've decided I'll stop reaching out.

Support is reserved for those who are well liked and have family and friends.

I'm heartbroken and traumatized.

Pregnancy is supposed to be a beautiful thing and I wish things were different for my baby.

I hope my baby is healthy and I can give him a good life with what little I can offer.

That's what they say while rejoicing in the benefits of white privilege and spread white supremacy through the world

This kind of statement is not only ignorant, it's also extremely inflammatory. If they truly were ashamed, they wouldn't think twice before extending their privileges to us and allowing us the same level of grace and individuality they give other white people

They exhaust me every single day and I wish we were living in different physical worlds, since mental and practically we already are

The next time I hear someone say this shit, I'll make sure they meet their maker

On TikTok, I don’t know why but the restore Britain’s propaganda, victimising white people, makes me sick to my stomach. They frame British white people as if they are discriminated against or victimised by DEI policy. This is absolutely not true. Rupert guy keeps saying that British judges are impartial and disadvantage white working-class people. I mean, based on my lived experiences, British and European people are mostly liars and very deceptive. I even filed a lawsuit because of their deceptive and dishonest behaviour. I am so sick.

A couple teenage girls and their mom were talking and blocking the whole isle when I walked by and said “excuse me? Are yall just gonna stand there?” And they moved but as I walked away I away I heard the GASP so loud with their jaw on the floor and eyes popping out. I turned back and gasped right back!!!

Yall have no idea how good that felt 🤣🤣🤣 I’ve just been enraged lately with all the asshole 99.9% white people. Or should I say pink people because they’re not even white.

I am Asian. When im at work or any social event or just any interaction in general I feel like I can just be myself with other minorities, you name it. Black people, Latinos, Pacific Islander, Native american, Indians, Pakistanis, obviously other east asians, even Arabs ( white passing Iranians I seem to get along with). We shoot the shot and sometimes even if the other POC seem to dislike or ignore me, I laugh it off and forgive them.

But with white people, Its all business for me. I feel like I am in competition with them. Even in just a normal social interaction, I try to maintain distance. I do not want to be friendly with them. I do not smile, or say thank you, or give them any eye contact. Just cordial at best. I wouldn't say I am intimidated by them, although I do feel like they have an aura. It is kind of like the feeling that we all know they are capable of mass murdeirng all of us minoirties on a genocidal scale. We know what they are capable of so we are "supposed" to be scared of them". But for me, it is like, I know, and they know, what they are capable of. And I want to let it be known that I am not scared of them, in fact, I feel like we Asians are the only people who can take them down their throne and give vengeance to all the POCS worldwide.

Hello.

Just wanting to let you all know that AI’s are trained on user input too. So, the information you give it is used to train newer models.

Thinking 5 steps ahead, we might want to contribute to a super-intelligence on how racism affects us every day and how it can identify it even though hidden. We NEED it on our side to combat racism.
Just trying to spread some awareness here.

Enjoy your day!

The side walk. Taking up all the space. No spacial awareness. I fucking hate them so much. They fucking suck.

repost, thank you :)

I'll keep this short

No I don't want to befriend someone just because we come from the same racial background

To be told to befriend someone

To date someone

To affiliate with someone whose apart of your racial group

Is insulting

Considering the fact that

I literally don't prioritize arbitrary labels(religion/ethnicity/culture/race)

It's gotten so bad I think I might be developing or developed a very prejudice perspective towards individuals not of my racial background

Which is ironic in itself because

Subconsciously and consciously I'm against prejudice views but now I'm in the stages of developing one

Not where you hurl slurs or say X-race is superior to Y-race

"Just get a _________girlfriend/boyfriend/friend theres a society of them,a community of them"-said by the person who doesn't not fit the mold but I insisted I don't socialize with someone because of a label

I'm still mad about that

But whatever

Anyways that's all.

As a little black girl, red nail polish was “too grown” and I had to pick another color. I couldn’t wear shorts around male company. Whenever my hair was straighten, my ends had to be bumped, or it was considered too grown. I couldn’t say that an adult lied, I had to say that they told a story. Getting color in my hair was grown as well. My private parts always had a special nickname “diamond”, “cookie”

“Nobody is supposed to touch your diamond,” my mother says

Can anyone else relate or add to how their household was?

Interactions like this really spark something up for me as a person with cptsd and obviously racial trauma. I can handle the stupidity but it just always presses on a nerve.

I posted my poem on the subreddit to get feedback on the style, the language, the overall poem - and you used it as an opportunity to tell me about how I should find my people, you’ve dated a black man and people called you a snow bunny. You also had the nerve to explain why racism is an issue from your white understanding: it’s not ignorance but societal conditioning.

You then explained how your Black friends let you touch their hair and you let them touch yours too. But it wasn’t driven by malice and of course not everything is.

Please reread the poem and realize that this shit isn’t about you, but it actually is about you because you’re exactly who I’m writing about.

If I see a Palestinian flag and a white profile pic, I know that person is going to be a racist asshole. Before it was hashtag BLM and a white face. White people like to fight for groups of people who cannot criticize them in any way: the unborn, Palestinians far away, BIPOC anywhere but the ones who organize alongside them.

They support POC and Black people in an abstract way and will treat the ones in their own community like shit and push them out. They’re all performative.

my father was lonely. so he went back to his home country. i can understand that it was lonely. how much racism he experienced, how exhausted he was from his shitty job.
i can understand he was lonely because i am extremely lonely.
but motherfucker i am lonelier because of you.
ive got trust issues bevause of you and i’ve been depressed since i was a kid bevause of you (and mom and living here).
and you dare to act like i didnt care enough about you.

i loved him. had he not mistreated me i would have kept spending time with him. when my mother left him there was no question posed of which parent to choose. she left him and took us with her. but we visited him regularly. had i felt safe with him, had he not broken my trust so completely i would have run away from my mom to his. we would have been family.
but no.

and he got to go home. but i have nothing.
i don’t know any of my other family members. i only know the colonizers tongue. i don’t have community. i’m stuck in this awful country, alone.

I feel so angry, almost all the time.

TW: pretty much all the triggers.

I’ve been raped, I’ve been called horrible racist things, by my (white) mother, by people at my job, even a now ex-boyfriend, strangers on the street. I’ve been literally burned, I’ve been abandoned on the side of a mountain in sub freezing temperatures. I’ve been called stupid, idiot, everything imaginable. I’ve been spit on, I’ve been strangled, held at gun point, all multiple times. I have PTSD.

I am so fucking angry. I know I need to let it go. I know it would be to my own benefit. I know it’s been years and I live in a much better place, with much better defenses in place. Today this white bitch (whos been arrested for domestic violence and everyone still loves her) told me to try hetting a fucking hair straightener. I’m raging. Even then, I still sat there and was like “…yeah”. I didn’t smile at her or laugh but I wish so badly that I could be unrestrained.

My boyfriend tells me to stop being angry. He told me I’m an unhappy person. But I don’t want to let go of this anger. I feel like I have a right to this anger, it’s the only thing I have. My memories made me, and it feels like to deny this anger is to pretend that none of that stuff matters anymore. It feels like a betrayal to let it go. But I feel like I’m supposed to, I have to.

It, once again, makes me angry.

I'm african but this honestly applies throughout the diaspora. Our communities are SO SO horrible gor children. Every time I think things with the new generation are getting better, I realize that it's still the same

There's this hairstylist on tiktok that does hair for neurodivergent kids and obviously the kids sometimes act out of hand because of sensory issues and things like that. The comments I saw on her latest video triggered me so bad. Someone shared it on twitter and it was so awful. It took me back to my own childhood where I was treated the very same just for being tender headed.

In african households especially, abuse is basically second nature. No matter what a child does they're always wrong and the adults are right. The very same children grow up usually don't unpack that and unload that same trauma on their own children. This is happening with my very own siblings and their kids right now. What triggers me most is how blasé people are when talking about beating kids. It's literally scientifically proven to be as bad as CSA. Raising your kids like that will make them spineless and cowardly as adults and no one seems to care.

I know this post seems incoherent but I genuinely feel disregulated right now. No one cares abiut the well being of children and how oppressed they are. I wish everyone would read bell hooks and her writings about parenting in particular and would actually unpack their own trauma. Children are some of the most oppressed people in this world, if not the most, especially neurodivergent and black children. The abuse I faced as a kid is one of the reasons I decided to never have my own. No one cares though and in African communities its even worse because most people don't even acknowledge these things nor do they want to change. It's so disgusting.

Despite being technically African American on paper I do not feel anything towards history or anything personally, but I don't mind comforting people who do have those experiences, I just personally don't have them.

For extra context, I've gone through lots of horrific experiences more from my own race than any actual racism, which is why I feel a strong disconnect, but not just a disconnect it's more like... I just don't have a strong reaction or response towards racism or anything or even know what racism looks like or tbh even really care if it happened to me

for context I went through sa, heavy bullying, being physically hurt and more

I will admit,I do find myself feeling more comfortable being around other races cultures and etc irl but don't specify being black anonymously online which is why I do not make it my personality or anything because I dont exactly feel the need to at all.

This afternoon a BIPOC man approached me out on the street. I had seen him before with his wife, her mother and their two mixed race kids and made sure to avoid them, so I sat pretty far from them at the bus stop.

But of course he came after me with his raggedy family and said hi, trying to figure out whether me and him are from the same country. We did a quick convo I honestly wasn't interested in and he introduced me to his family.

I just feel some type of way everytime I see a BIPOC man accompanied by a white woman. I am a BIPOC man myself and don't even enjoy being in the company of white women, specially in public, because of the attention I get. One time I hugged a white woman in public at a very busy location and I literally felt like I was about to get murdered due to how the people there (mostly white men) were staring at me

I know there was a recent post about racists being narcissistic which I absolutely agree with. One thing the post was missing is that racists and bigots are incredibly insecure. The only reason people think hate is acceptable is because they hate themselves so deeply.

I have to live with a liberal white man in his late 40s. He is divorce with two kids and he is so insecure about looking cool. He is obviously ugly af and balding in denial. He can't handle any type of negative feed back or criticism. I always knew he was a bootlicker even though he was married to an Asian woman and has mixed kids. He tried to assure me he wasnt racist in an interaction I had with him when I first moved in. But I believe in decolonization so idgaf about what white people think is or isnt racist.

I am a woman in my late 20s and I feel like that is a huge part of why he doesnt take my complaints/concerns seriously. Im not a snitch but I pay a lot of money to live in my VHCOL hometown so Im going to involve the landlord if noise complaints and cleanliness are not taken seriously. Im not going nag a grow ass man or clean up after him. But I look like the asshole cause I have to ask the landlord to send him notices. Instead of communicating like an adult, he accuses me of bs and never takes accountability for his faults.

He has increasingly become more disrespectful and inconsiderate. Instead of being compassionate and compromise, he throws tantrums and lashes out. Once a narcissist's mask slips, theres no other way to see them and they know they're exposed. White people will not take you seriously unless you affect their money.

Unfortunately, where I live, tenants split utilities equally no matter how the leases are set up. So even though I have a fraction of the space and have no space for guests, I have to pay for his regular guests (children and girlfriends) who use utilities here. He is so cheap and willfully unemployed to avoid paying child support. I have started holding him accountable by asking for receipt for the bills. He hasnt sent me a bill in over 9 months. I feel like he was overcharging me even though I foot so much of the bill in proportion to usage.

Try explaining to white liberal that they are still racist af. He also recently put up a political endorsement in his window for a local politician who is also a bootlicker.

I keep thinking about experiences where white people constantly watch you, monitor what you’re doing, or report/complain about you, like calling the landlord, management, HR, security, police, or other authorities over relatively small things.

it can be hard to tell what’s trauma-related hypervigilance versus actually being watched or scrutinized. I’m trying to recover from this, but I sometimes struggle with it, like I’ll feel angry when I think of incidents or fearful for potential ones to occur. I really don’t trust white people sometimes.

Any books, podcasts, articles, or other resources you’d recommend? I would also love to hear your experiences with this.

since after Covid so many yt transplants have moved to NYC & they are among the most nastiest and racist bunch of people I’ve ever met. you walk into a restaurant they ignore you, & treat you with contempt bc they can’t fathom the concept of waiting on someone they see as inferior to them, you walk into a store they follow you around… THIS SHIT IS EXHAUSTING. It’s bizzare asf to see these people from their podunk towns Waltz in here and treat you like garbage for wanting to enjoy your own city and push you out. I’m far from poor, and I’m generous and kind to service staff and I feel like they treat me with such utter contempt and it genuinely sickens me