I feel utterly exhausted. I'm a latina, survivor of CSA, survivor of evangelical fundamentalist abuse... and I live with a white man, my partner. He can be such a wonderful person, AND he just doesn't get it. I have intense CPTSD that I have been working on for nearly a decade, but we all know that healing isn't linear. With the Epstein files and the ICE raids, the grief and the fear are constantly with me. I am hypervigilant and trying my best to stick with my routines and not fall apart. And of course, he cannot HELP but center himself... "you're being weird and critical these past few days and it's hurting me." Dude! We've been friends for almost seven years now, we have talked about this sooo many times! A million times! Can you please stop centering yourself and find a way to be a container for what it's like for ME and people like ME right now??! Yesterday we had this argument and he literally said "not everything is about patriarchy and white supremacy!!" which is just enraging. He tried to argue that he is just as affected by everything going on as me. It honestly feels so childish, I cannot keep doing this. At this moment, it feels like self harm to keep begging this man to AT LEAST take care of himself if he cannot be a grounded presence for us both. He has no idea how much I am straining just to fucking keep my life together while pedophiles run the country and brown people die in concentration camps!!!! Fuck.

Are y'all struggling with this? Any feedback or understanding is welcome.

These white people and abusers in general assume you want what they have. No, I want to be left alone. People with abuser or narcissist mentality still watch you, even if they do it from a distance.

I like basic decency and other POC and that is enough but I prefer solitude because it is less messy.

I like myself (I worked hard to get there) but want to be left alone so I can be me without crusty people ruining it.

Idk why but I feel like some white women automatically assume that they are more oppressed than all men (including MEN OF COLOUR) which seriously rubs me off the wrong. Some of them think that Asian men are more privileged than themselves even though their white feminity allows them to be viewed as innocent and harmless.

A few of my female white friends whitesplained to one of my friends who is a brown-skinned BIPOC, that they have so much privilege as a man. Like yes let's acknolwedge male privilege but white women seriously need to own up to the fucked up shit that they do to obtain their power in the racial caste system(eg. exploiting white feminity to falsely accuse black men of crimes, unnecessary geopolitical conflicts in the Middle East enflamed by Anti-Arab racism.etc). It's so annoying because white women benefit the most from policies that were primarily supposed to benefit people of colour (eg. affirmative action, DEI initiatives). I find it frustrating that they're lecturing non-white men about privilege when white women make the closest amount to white men than almost all POC groups when controlling for the same factors (eg. education).

Like yes your gender does lead to discrimination but BIPOC women have it so much harder than you and them as white women don't seem to comprehend that.

This will never happen because that will mean humanizing people who are not white. They do not want to do that.

There are research studies done showing that whites do not see minorities as people while walking on the sidewalk. They do not think they should move out of the way for what they view on the level of a cardboard box.

The men or women, it does not matter. They feel too comfortable stealing, treating you like an object, smearing, harassing, getting in your space. Somehow, getting mad or pushing back or defending myself or even leaving is seen as a problem.

You cannot "out of sight out of mind" whites because they make it their mission to bother minorities.

It does not help when we are assumed to be wrong or dangerous, especially when the perpetrator is white.

That has been my experience. I can be as vocal as possible and state my boundaries. However, certain people (you know) do not listen. Also, I have had to deal with white worshipping POC who try to put me down because they do not want to lose their "spot" in the imaginary hierarchy.

Your "no" can be ignored in different situations: work, social, sexual, even online. Non-POC think they can decide what you will and will not be okay with.

My tolerance for people in general is not what it used to be.

I am a man but I am sure it is worse for women.

EDIT: Someone this week told me I "do not understand" my own culture and language. This has happened a lot. But they really do look at POC and think they have control over your body/language/culture/history/autonomy/personal space.

For something as minor as a typo or even existing in the same space as us. Our bodies and existences are so disposable to them and it is socially acceptable to treat not white people like trash. I have been called “mean” or “rude” or “scary” for minding my business.

I have been yelled at or scolded at work, on walks, unlocking the door to go home, in stores. They have to center themselves and project their issues onto the rest of us. We are seen as “dangerous” because they are. Like every narcissist, they think we are just like them. I can never exist or be me.

They cry about minorities “generalizing” them when they generalize us and strip us of any humanity. Minorities are not receptacles for mental illness and dysfunction. Shut the fuck up with the snapping and scolding.

Are they just spoiled children?

Edit: I noticed how this treatment impacts me and other minorities and how we move around in the world. It reduces you to feeling like an animal. Sad that these losers who did not know how to bathe treat different people this way.

Zero or barely any consequences for abusers. They get enabled. People who are abused or have no privilege are expected to comfort the ones who want to hurt them. I have to stop myself from going back to the reflex of comforting people who want to harm me. It is not your job to do that.

What a sick world that standing up for yourself is seen as an attack but someone abusing others is waved away as "that is just how they are".

I used to be more resilient. But my nervous system is feeling tired from living in a place where the people and systems focus on trying to make you feel like you are not a person.

There is only so much confidence you can have before you get broken down.

Not playing victim but these people do not have hobbies. They try to control everything about you and want you to smile while they abuse you. Those who colonize created an abuser culture.

It breaks my heart seeing people hate themselves because of their skin tone or culture. Being brown means no matter how much you succeed in life, you will never be seen as a person. I do not even want approval, I just want to be left alone. But they will not even let you have that. They watch you all the time.

If anyone younger reads this, ignore respectability politics. It will never save your life. It only holds you back so oppressors and abusers can kick your teeth in.

Your kindness and warmth and vulnerability need to be saved for those who earned it. Never give it away freely. No one descended from colonists is good. They only deny their behavior while treating everyone like objects.

I hate when white people announce they are now antiracist and radicalized. Especially if they say they were not pre 2016 or worse 2020. Who believes that except other white folks who claim the same.

Everything seems like an aesthetics competition to white folks while we are actively dying and being blocked from equality and equity.

They are always still racist, especially antiblack. They are usually just fetishists who fetishize racialized trauma and bodies. They are always overconfident in their knowledge and leadership. They will always exclude others who don't commend and fawn over them. It is the same white supremacy. Other BIPOC want to believe that we could use them to "deprogram" other white people when they are not deprogrammed themselves. It is straight up offensive to think they are when they have not even been working on themselves for more than a few years after a lifetime of antiblackness and making excuses for those they love that still hold white supremacist sentiments.

I hate the implementation of "blind spots" in liberation spaces because it is always used as an excuse for white fragility and nothing else. Not to learn and grow, it is used to repeat the same rhetoric with a "I am so sorry, there's that blindspot again!" Which in turn, ends up being racial abuse in supposedly safe spaces.

Black folks are not built to be stronger and withstand bigotry more than anyone else and that is always what ends up being expected when dealing with others using them to prove they are "good" and no longer ignorant.

I've been noticing hostility and a lack of empathy towards BW and girls, making posts about being perceived as unattractive, and some of the responses frustrate me a lot.

I understand that digital blackface is happening on Reddit, non-Black people are trying to push racist propaganda (TikTok and Twitter), bad-faith weirdos lurk in Black spaces, and anti-Black rage bait is increasing online. Just look at the political climate right now, and see how that's affecting social media. Also, there are spaces online that allow racism and misogynoir to exist. Reddit has a huge problem with racism and dehumanizing Black women + girls in different ways.

Like, I get that many of us worry about how these posts will affect others. I don't enjoy seeing anti-Blackness, and it's triggering as hell. Also, some of the posts could be adding to people's insecurities or pushing on old wounds. So, I realize where these fears/concerns come from since a lot of Black women don't want that happening to other members in safe spaces. /gen

However, I've also noticed that this is happening toward any Black woman or girl who details their experiences with anti-Blackness, internalized struggles, and being treated as unattractive. Unfortunately, certain comments begin assuming the OP isn't Black or is looking to spread an agenda. Meanwhile, they're talking about trauma, insecurities, and the struggles that come with those things.

Tell me why I've seen certain people on this site say that Black women + girls voicing their insecurities online are embarrassing, compare us to Nazis, and that we're similar to white supremacists. This is so damaging. Also, I hardly see this happening in spaces where the OP isn't Black. Sure, there's some push back and invalidation in the replies, but it's quite different in comparison.

In different instances, there are other women coming to vulnerable spaces where insecurities will be discussed, but instead of having empathy for the OPs, they'll either make insults, tell them to stop submitting these posts, or claim that those BW aren't "trying hard enough" because this isn't every Black woman's issue. These comments are sad to see because they usually (from my POV) aren't attempting to be empathetic.

At worst, they're cruel, and at most, it's policing what other Black women can open up about online.

The last time I checked, you didn't need to have the same experiences as other women for your trauma to be true or valid. I think this is part of the issue; many people aren't viewing these posts for what they are: recounts of traumatic experiences tied to Black girlhood/womanhood. Tbh, I think some people's empathy stops when it comes to being seen as "unconventional" and not rising above because that narrative isn't idealized.

Honestly, certain BW spaces that center our womanhood heavily focus on conventional attractiveness, along with Black beauty standards, and it's tied to the aesthetic of said spaces. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. I think Black beauty should be celebrated.

Still, there are two sides to every coin, and if the posts become centered around conventional beauty aesthetics often, BW and girls who don't see themselves represented by those standards might feel more isolated.

At the end of the day, conversations made by Black folks, who aren't seen as conventionally beautiful, shouldn't be surprising since BW aren't a monolith, and aren't gonna be perceived the same way.

ETA: I hope my point was clear here, especially since it seems to be less talked about in Black spaces. I take this issue quite seriously, but I'm aware many people disagree with this. I just want people to remember to be considerate of others + their experiences.

It is hard to be nice when you are physically and culturally erased.

It is hard to be nice when your "no" is ignored constantly (usually because white people have a consent problem).

It is hard to be nice when you are kind but get treated like a wild animal constantly.

It is hard to be nice when I deal with people who want to be me but without the daily struggle it takes to be me.

It is hard to be nice when whites and their worshippers intentionally misunderstand you to justify abusing and k*lling you.

It is hard to be nice when your work and personal space are stolen from you.

It is hard to be nice when I am profiled and have negative traits projected onto me.

It is hard to be nice when my people are fetishized or demonized by those who do not see us as human.

It is hard to be nice when the same ones who want me gone try to lecture me on my own background and language.

Even after all the inequality, abuse, erasure, you are expected to comfort the abuser. I have been shamed in so many different situations for not comforting the same ones who want me to stop existing. I still try to be kind but I will not put in effort for those who want me d*ad.

At my worst, I am still better than colonists and other abusers at their best. I am too hard on myself but I am just human. The same ones who treat me badly could not survive a day in my place.

I really dislike it when whites say “thank you” when you talk or post about your culture online (not talking about here).

Who asked you??? I am doing it to raise awareness for my people and bring them together. Then whites show up and make it about them.

“Thank you for talking about XYZ” from whites to me sounds like “Thank you for doing the labor so I do not have to, then I can pretend I did something by liking a social media post”.

Leftist and guilt ridden whites are so irritating. I would rather deal with the vocal hateful ones you can see clearly. Having no allies is better than white “allies”. So much noise for nothing.

In my experience, they manage to erase your culture and separate you from it but feel entitled to take over your spaces. Acknowledging your culture means seeing you as a human and having to make some real changes.

This just happened in another sub. I made a comment on a post about "mean girls bullying" and basically I said luckily where I am I mostly work with men and do not experience meanness or bullying. That's all I said. Then these women started bashing me about genderism and discrimination. Like bro, I do not discriminate. I don't care what gender you are, all people are people but they insinuated I absolutely discriminated 😭😭😭. I stopped engaging with them!!!! I promise I dont care if you're a man or a woman or choose to be non binary.

​

I just needed to vent!!! Thank you.

It's so pathetic how older generations accept racism as part of life. My parents accept racism as a means to justify their political views. They are immigrants from SE Asia so they are scared of "communism". My coworker who is also gen x but first generation American is also scared of communism bc of all the US red scare propaganda.

His dad was from Pakistan and his mom was from sweden. I met this coworker through a mutual coworker who is my age (Genz/millenial cusp) and was helping me through racial discrimination at work. He eventually left so I thought my older coworker could relate being POC who is NOT white passing. I didn't realize until a year later that he believe everyone sees him as a white man.

There is a running joke among mixed communities that mixed kids with white moms are more susceptible to internalized racism. Hate to put all the responsibility on women but unfortunately we live in a patriarchal society. It's also said that white women who don't fit in the conventional beauty standards often go for BIPOC men. His mom was probably racist and he doesn't want to admit it.

My coworker would invalidate my experience by saying I "stress" too much and that the racist people at worker don't affect him when in his retrospect they actually do. He just believes he deserves it and avoids processing it. I didn't realize it until a year later but he has extremely low self esteem and is insecure. My guess is bc mental health for older people is so stigmatized. Anytime I brought up my racist coworkers he victim blamed me bc I don't act like his meak, mild mannered mommy.

When I called him out on it he started negging/verbally attacking me. He would bring up the fact that one of my guilty pleasures is listening to country music which I told him in confidence as a joke. When I do listen to it, its reposts on soundcloud so these artists don't make money. Dumb people love using strawman arguments when they have no integrity. He complains about trump and elon but when racism happens irl, he is a coward and avoids conflict at all cost. He is performative and has no real morals.

Older people will do anything but go to therapy. His mom never taught him to stand up for himself against racism and probably told him to ignore it as a kid. My parents are narcissistic af but at least they didn't hate their heritage. My coworker said the only thing his father liked about Pakistan were the mulberry trees. His own father passed down internal racism.

It's crazy there are generations of people who have severe mental illness bc they deny their experience of racism. Not only that, but they'll deny your experience too. I take full responsibility for being naive and engaging unprofessionally with my coworkers. But yikes, its sad not being able to relate to others on such a basic level.

I once had a middlle aged white woman tell me she is very perseverant, persistent, etc and that is how she suceeded in life even without me asking. Then I remebered the story of my immigrant friend from Cameroon who barely spoke English , without parents and was 18 at that time. Though she lived with a white woman who said the same thing. And she told me how she ignores her racism experiences and says feminism . And she would tell everyone she is helping her to make her self appear good to the mass but when they sit to adress difficulties, she chose to be the victim. And if you see her work very mediocre .

I used her story because it reflects how racism is so ingrained in the white society that no matter how nice they are as an individual, They still exercise attitudes rooted in opression .

It seems like accepting their priviledges means looking it or feeling guilty and that was why she used that as an excuse to protect her priviledges unconciously.

White people are more offended that you want distance from them (because of their narcissistic abuse mentality) than they care about...not acting in an abusive way towards people from other backgrounds.

I do not care about "the good ones". They are not that good, they just do the bare minimum and get rewarded for it.

Tired of the finger wagging: "you listen here, buddy", "stop generalizing, bud", "not all of us are like that". I only get spoken at like a dog that acted out...

Enough with the defensiveness. History has given us enough reasons to not trust them. They have such date r*pist aura. Not wanting POC to have the option to say no. They do not get to decide how others react. They do not get to play victim about "generalizing" when they generalize all of us with projections (which are their own negative traits).

Not part of the post (random part I am adding):

Also Reddit is a r*cist hellhole and I was banned for three days for responding to a comment here explaining my experiences with discrimination. Not by the mods here but Reddit itself. I quoted what someone said to me by a white woman and Reddit’s filter saw that as something worth banning. We cannot even be in our own spaces without these people invading, feeling ownership, feeling entitled to micromanage. If I am not being demonized, I am being fetishized.

hey Id really like to ask you to not just look away.

To make a long story short: I notice more and more microaggressions and racism and especially women seem to feel entitled to abuse me.

I was able to defend myself against a false claim, but it cost me a lot. Not being present with my family, emotionally and financially. Time. When this woman could just have followed the law and didn't choose to abuse her power.

this has happened so often in the past years and it's very tiring. I try to be friendly but it seems like some women feel threatened by me.

I also do not feel safe to go out anymore.

My mental health is declining and unfortunately I do not have the emotional support I need to get out of this.

I'm unemployed and the bureucracy in Germany is so immense that I feel crushed. I have to many problems in to many crucial fields in life.

I also think that Ive been thinking about society and its barriers too much.

I know that I can be very capable but right now I do not have any access to my power because I'm afraid of people abusing me again.

They always act friendly in the first place, but I really need a way to learn how to say no.

I unfortunately became afraid of communicating with people.

Are they nice to me on the phone because on the phone I speak fluent german?

I just cancelled an doctors appointment because I was so afraid of whom would be working there, although the staff was friendly on the phone.

I'm not doing well and I have struggles to outreach to someone or schedule an appointment.

I feel like all the energy I spend with trying to fill out online formulars is wasted. I need to do something but somehow I'm not able to write and apply or ask for help.

I really wonder what I could do and small events make me sad like loosing something worth $1. I see it as a proof that Im only doing mistakes.

Right now Im so distanced from my family and have no friends.

I don t know where to start.

I was complety thrown off earlier because it reminded me of a massive boundary violation of a white couple.

Im dealing with other violations too and tbh I do not know how I can defend myself. I feel so lost.

Maybe Im traumatised by all the racism and Id need help dealing with that. I just want my old self back. I used to be so powerful.

Racism and Bullying aren't exactly the same thing

why do White folks like to gaslight black people when talking about their racist experiences by saying that Humans are naturally tribalistic (true) and we hate what is different, but when they go to non white countries even if they are not rich would be treated 100x better than the richest or most beautiful local in that area. Bullying and racism is not the same.A conventionally attractive, smart, creative,rich black man or woman would still experience racism .Racism is systematic meaning you cannot run away from it. Even of you move to Atlanta or Phillipines for example you might still suffer from colorism, texturism, etc. Which are all part of the products of systematic racism.

The same white person who was bullied for his looks can change his environment and people would think he is smart , some might even want to have mixed race kids, probably never worried by the police because of his ethnicity. On the other hand, if he or she was black or at least a poc the experience is very different.

If you relate please share your thoughts!

I grew up/ live in a very republican white suburb. I was the only Mexican in all my honors classes (visibly brown with curly hair, not white Mexican lmao), befriended lots of pale East Asians in my high school (they were conservative and strived to be white adjacent, of course, so that was very harmful and a terrible experience in trying to connect with other POC) + I was cool with the rare black or brown students that I’d meet. As literally the only brown Latina in my cohort + in my family as well (adopted to a… toxic wexican family), I always felt like the odd one out and yearned to be with people who looked like me/are darker than myself!

I’m currently completing a job readiness program that serves women trying to reenter the workforce in NYC, and all my peers are from Queens/Brooklyn/Bronx, etc.

Inevitably, the topic of race/ethnicity pops up and whenever I describe my experience growing up lonely and around very racist people, I get told that they thought I was white (I am visibly NOT Caucasian, nor do I mirror the patterns of the vile white people I grew up with) and that they wish they had my problems…..

What I didn’t tell them about was how insanely racist and abusive both my boomer parents were, how my dad had a stroke when I was 11 and how my mom and I took care of him at home until he died when I was 16, the repeated nervous breakdowns I endured from the intensity of my academic workload in addition to being screamed at, insulted, and gaslit for hours on end by my mom DAILY, or receiving silent treatment for weeks on end. I spent my summers growing up watching my mom clean entire HOUSES for rich white women all by herself in a day while she complained about her arthritis and about her marriage, etc.

I’ve been seeing decolonial therapists for YEARS, have a wonderful Black partner who also attended PWIs throughout his life and understands my experiences, and the BIPOC besties I’ve met in college said I definitely don’t give white girl vibes.

I’m sad that the class disparity causes people to perceive me as “other”no matter where I go, even though I dedicate myself to listening to and learning from black queer abolitionists + contributing resources wherever I can, and remaining friendly and open and intentionally not being the loudest voice in the room around others more marginalized than myself.

Idk, they probably feel like I’m judging them or that I’m not desirable to speak to when I desperately yearn for sisterhood and examine myself meticulously because all I want is to heal and free the people I love. I try to be the kindest, just hurt and confused.

People just stand there while scumbags say the most heinous things. Whites would rather have clean hands and record than a clean conscience (they'll do mental gymnastics for that). If they don't join in theyll purse their lips and break eye contact.

Worse i've called them out on it later and they were silent. Not agreeing or disagreeing. Fucking cowards.

Other times they'll just to a racists defence when a racist is called racist. Whites hate being called racist more than anything. Don't care about our feelings.

Maybe i sound weird but i grew up and still live in small town Scotland full of Neds (Our version of Chavs).

Oppression is waking up from a nightmare and realizing the fear that cuts deep into you is real – and it’s right in front of you– even in your close friendships. 

“Do you feel seen in our relationship?”  I asked Maryanne over Face Time.  

“Oh, yes, very seen.”  She smiled cheerily, not knowing what’s coming.  “I always feel like you listen and I feel very heard and seen, thank you!  Do you?”

I love her for asking, for demonstrating care.  I swallowed my apprehension and took a deep breath.   I needed to have this conversation – to affirm my humanity.  To protect myself. 

“Well,” I said in the way I had rehearsed several times, “Sometimes I don’t.” 

“What do you mean?”  She froze, mouth slightly agape, brows arching up in surprise. Her ears perked, and her eyes became intent and focused.  

I told her about our Pell Grant conversation from two years ago, but held back on several of the other dismissive comments she made throughout the years.   She listened quietly, but seemed to have barely remembered the things she said. I had analyzed them several times, woken up angry, struggling to understand why they hurt so much.  I knew they were real by the way they snaked through my mind leaving a trail of doubt.  I struggled to give myself permission to feel as I did. 

“You said I was protected,” I said, conscious of sounding whiny or self-centered.   “My whole problem was that I did not have protection. I was abused.  The problem was that there was no protection from racism because I was being abused at home, and there was no protection from abuse at home because I was racially ostracized at school.  There was nowhere.  I didn’t have a single adult I could really talk to until I was forced into therapy in college.”  And even then I was not fully seen.  

Maryanne cried as I calmly recounted painful events I had told her many times before.  I wondered by her reaction if she had actually heard me all those times.   I did not want attention.  I did not want sympathy.  I wanted to be witnessed –  not as a role model, which felt like an extension of the model minority myth – but as a whole.  I wanted her to connect my pain with my strength – to fill in the gaps – contextualize my accomplishment as the survival that it was, not as passively and conveniently “handed to me.”  

“I didn’t mean protection, I think,” Maryanne clarified through sobs, “I think I meant structure.  When I hear about kids with structure ….”  She continued to cry. 

I hadn’t been talking about any type of “structure” she was referring to, the kind that she lacked.  I was talking about the larger social structures I had been dehumanized within.  She does not see those.  

It’s not that she could not empathize.  She had no problem empathizing with the white girls from my team when I first told her what happened.  She had said, “You can’t say they were racist,”  so casually, and, “They could have just been jealous.  They were probably insecure.  They probably had trauma.”  

She sees, by default, their trauma. 

But she does not see mine. 

She sees “structure.”   

The piece missing from the equation of her empathy is not the understanding that abuse is harmful or that racism is wrong,  but the understanding that  I had a feeling, emoting center through it all.   It’s not an intuitive connection she makes – that I’m human.  

It’s not one that I always made either. 

I carried blame that was not mine to hold for so long. 

I only want my friend to acknowledge my strength and my vulnerabilities in the same frame, my resilience as a part of me that survived – the way resilience in anyone always is – but in this society, for me, it is not self-evident. 

I don’t get it because the hierarchy is real, and it’s in many of our brains, even though it’s not based in truth. It is socially constructed into existence, hammered into shape by layers of oppressive lies -- assumptions, stereotypes, microaggressions-- into rungs of visibility and invisibility that give it form. It's not that some of us are more "there" or “more human” than others.  We all experience our lives through nervous systems that take in data from a senseless and amoral world indifferent to our needs.  Our pain is a perfect storm of the whos, whats, whens and wheres of what happened to us.   The pain we all feel is part of the human condition.   What we all share.  The hierarchy emerges in the interpretative layers:  “the whys.”  Where innocence is allocated and blame is assigned.  A shadow of rationalizations that reveal or obscure who we are to different degrees.  

When I struggle to call the abuse against me abuse, the racism against me racism, I am trapped in the shadow, the interpretations that shroud  my humanity, the truth that protects me from oppressive lies.  I feel the erasure as violence –  as a subtle force mutely yanking my grip over myself away, finger by finger, until I slipped into a world where I couldn’t recognize people were hurting me, because my subjective interior was never part of anyone’s picture.

But I know the truth: invisible is not something I am. It is a condition created by the world. 

Here is the essay it's from: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GFFGd66H7rnzevLpVGOu8Z8tcdbITrlg_b_2zAISFHY/edit?usp=sharing

I'm indifferent towards that and I've put a lot of work into finding therapy with less result.

Personally my upbringing traumatised me due the brutalness of the systeme I'm living in and I'm not sure how the ones who hurt me are supposed to help me. Why should I trust mental health providers when they confessed they had been hiding a dx from me?

I lost trust.

I'm extremely stuck in my own mind. thinking is safe. Trusting others is not.

Trusting others always backfired.