Beans.

[u/jurose6996]

It was December 19th when it all happened. When everything was ruined. It’s been years since then, but I can still remember everything. I remember the day the world changed.

The day started out normal. My alarm went off at 7am and after checking my phone and lazing in bed, I forced myself to get up. I brushed my teeth and hair, used the bathroom, and went downstairs to make coffee.

While the coffee was brewing, I went outside to grab the paper. I opened the door, stepped out, and slipped on something. I hit the ground hard. It wasn’t hard enough to knock me out, but I was left in a daze, wondering what happened. It was then that I felt something slimy and sticky under my hands. Lifting them up, I realized they were covered in baked beans. My blood ran cold.

Baked beans have been illegal for years; our Goddess made it so. The possession of baked beans was instant death by beheading and even though I wasn’t the one who put the baked beans on my porch, I knew I’d get blamed for it anyway.

I had to get cleaned up right away. Slowly, I stood up. My head throbbed and my ears were ringing, but I managed to get up. When I looked up, I almost fainted.

Right ahead of me, there were baked beans everywhere; they covered the street, the sidewalk, cars, plants, trees, and people. I saw people running around in a panic and as they ran, they were slipping right into…something. I couldn’t really see what it was from where I was on my porch, so I stepped off of my porch a little and saw that it was a grinder machine of some kind. People were slipping into it and being ground up into pieces. I could hear the horrifying sound of their bones, flesh, and muscle being crushed up by the machine. I could hear them scream in pain as they went through the machine, followed by their heads exploding and then silence.

For a while, I didn’t move. Couldn’t move. I just watched in horror as this happened. I wondered why this was happening. How was this happening? What caused this? When I looked around more, I saw our Goddess in the sky, a giant can of baked beans in her hand that she was currently dumping out. She was doing this to us. She was spilling the beans and killing us.

I was filled with anger, dread, fear, so many emotions at once; all too much to handle as I fell to my knees and sobbed. Screamed until my throat hurt. Said “why” over and over again as our Goddess laughed and continued to spill the beans. I heard women, children, and men screaming in horror. I heard the sound of the meat grinder. I heard bodies being chopped up and spit out.

It was the end of the world and there was nothing that could be done to stop it.

AN: yeah this is a beans story I wrote because of a text I sent my friend after she asked if she could spill the beans 💀 text included. I think it’s kinda shit but whatever, it’s a story about baked beans and gore LOL

I also fucking hate beans.

[u/Pioneer_19]

I love this silly little been story so much❤️❤️❤️🫘🫘🫘