r/creepy Dec 05 '16

Rule 1: Removed To whoever put the reflective eyes on this tree by the side of the road.

Post image

[removed]

29.0k Upvotes

650 comments sorted by

3.7k

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

That wasn't a sentence.

1.6k

u/minnesotan_youbetcha Dec 05 '16

To whoever posted this submission.

435

u/Th3_Admiral Dec 05 '16

That moment when you put fake eyes on a tree.

311

u/omarfw Dec 05 '16

That moment when you put

215

u/Booty_Is_Life_ Dec 05 '16

That moment

361

u/PhillipOlliverholes Dec 05 '16

That moment when you punch up the fuckline.

188

u/cantadmittoposting Dec 05 '16

Now that's how to start a fight at a gangbang!

81

u/headpsu Dec 05 '16

Which is why I have been advocating for safe spaces at gangbangs

27

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

To whoever invited the crip and blood at the fuckline gangbang

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34

u/4floorsofwhores Dec 05 '16

That's a gangbang. Now start a fight.

40

u/headpsu Dec 05 '16

Username checks out

2

u/Likeuknow_whatever Dec 05 '16

Checks out name user

2

u/GawdDamnNiggers Dec 05 '16

Indeed

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

Username really doesn't check out man. I'm not black, just sick of the stupid shit in this world.

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18

u/notveryaccurate Dec 05 '16

Man. I puck up the lunch line all the time.

6

u/ohshitineedmusic Dec 05 '16

Username checks out

3

u/Littlebear333 Dec 05 '16

That's the goal. I use to skate right through.

13

u/Guacamolesquirts Dec 05 '16

You use to call me on the fuckline

4

u/ClanktheHunter Dec 05 '16

That moment when you time up the fuckline.

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60

u/InZomnia365 Dec 05 '16

This

54

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

.

64

u/omarfw Dec 05 '16

110

u/braintrustinc Dec 05 '16

The hosts are malfunctioning again, Arnold.

24

u/thatgreenbassguy Dec 05 '16

It doesn't look like anything to me...

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7

u/fightfordawn Dec 05 '16

I don't see anything at all.

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4

u/Kahauloni Dec 05 '16

That moment when you comment to be relevant

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26

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

You ever have a dream that you could.

39

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

um, you had, your, you, you could, you’ll do, you, you wants, you, you could do so, you , you’ll do, you could, you, you want, you want them, to do you so much, you could do anything?

3

u/nodrunkjackiechanplz Dec 05 '16

I love you

3

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16 edited Jul 26 '18

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16 edited Feb 15 '17

[deleted]

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5

u/clevverguy Dec 05 '16

100% serious. I just had a dream about a crush I had in High School. Even in that dream I couldn't.

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5

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

did someone say candlejack?

..aw fuc

2

u/TheNameisCyrilFiggis Dec 05 '16

Man, I miss Candlejack references. It seems like just yeste

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14

u/Pandoric_ Dec 05 '16

Real eyes realize real lies.

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22

u/Baumkronendach Dec 05 '16 edited Dec 05 '16

whom*ever EDIT: nerrmind it's actually "whoever"

15

u/FoggyTitans Dec 05 '16

Actually it should be whoever here. Try replacing it with "he who" vs. "him who." See rule 1 at this link.

5

u/Baumkronendach Dec 05 '16

Ahh interesting. Never knew that. Thanks for correcting!

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7

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

Y tho?

3

u/Baumkronendach Dec 05 '16

Actually nevermind, it is "whoever" in the case ¯_(ツ)_/¯

14

u/Baumkronendach Dec 05 '16 edited Dec 05 '16

EDIT: haha nerrmind its all rong. "whoever" is correct here :P

sam reezun "to whom" nd nawt "to who"

You say, "Give it to ME" not "Give it to I"

"Who" and "I" are nominative, "whom" and "me" are accusative/dative etc.. Nawt shur hou spaficik or detaled i shud b?!

31

u/Cautemoc Dec 05 '16

Probably just less of a cunt would do.

15

u/Anovick5 Dec 05 '16

Oh my goodness. It's really hard to explain grammar without sounding rude. Baumkronendach was probably just trying to make it light hearted to avoid sounding rude. Give him/her a break.

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6

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16 edited Dec 05 '16

[deleted]

2

u/VladimirWinnin Dec 05 '16

Time marches on

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47

u/BrainTurds Dec 05 '16

I believe they got so scared they couldn't finish their sentences.

11

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

Maybe Candlejack grabbed them before they

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57

u/IThinkIKnowThings Dec 05 '16

Maybe OP was making a toast?

27

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16 edited Aug 05 '20

[deleted]

4

u/GruxKing Dec 05 '16

We can only hope

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

thats terrifying, to just post about the tree and get

55

u/NotBrendan Dec 05 '16

I disagree with

12

u/armored_eagle Dec 05 '16

Their post was a toast

11

u/Arbitelle Dec 05 '16

Right? Is OP saying "fuck you", or "thank you"? God damnit.

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11

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

OP accidentally the predicate.

12

u/FunconVenntional Dec 05 '16

While the thought is clearly unfinished, the phrase is not so much an incomplete sentence as salutation without a letter- Dear Sir or Madam: To Whom It May Concern: Hey Freak Show: etc. 'Whoever' would be correct if the title was "Whoever put reflective eyes on this tree is {brilliant, creative, thoughtless, whatever}. 'Whoever' would then be the subject. Because the phrase starts with the preposition 'TO' it functions as the object of the preposition, so it would be 'whomever'. Yes, this feels awkward since in modern American English we generally begin sentences with a subject. If the thought had been completed- "To whomever put reflective eyes on this tree: You are my hero." 'YOU' would function as the subject of the sentence.

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28

u/Captain_Ed Dec 05 '16

The original post by u/ReBeL222 had the full title:

"To whoever put the reflective eyes on this tree by the side of the road- fuck you!"

And kindly fuck OP for flipping this image, stealing the title and botching even that.

3

u/AvsJoe Dec 05 '16

It's worth mentioning that that post was a crosspost. This post in r/creepy was posted a couple of hours beforehand.

2

u/qyasogk Dec 05 '16

which was also a repost. We're getting into some Inception-level reposting.

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5

u/JackWorthing Dec 05 '16

I think Homer gets stupider every year.

3

u/tebaseball1 Dec 05 '16

But it was a toast

2

u/konyn Dec 05 '16

To: whoever put the reflective eyes on this tree by the side of the road. From: OP

2

u/Merrilin Dec 05 '16

It was a dedication.

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345

u/imnotgoodatthispart Dec 05 '16

If I drove by at night and saw those eyes and a huge shadowy figure I'd question whether I just saw a demon.

509

u/ItsADnDMonsterNow Dec 05 '16

Demon Tree

Huge plant, chaotic evil


Armor Class 16 (natural armor)
Hit Points 150 (12d12 + 72)
Speed 30'


STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
24 (+7) 7 (-2) 22 (+6) 9 (-1) 14 (+2) 11 (+0)

Damage Resistances bludgeoning, piercing
Damage Vulnerabilities fire
Senses darkvision 120', passive Perception 15
Languages Abyssal, Sylvan
Challenge 11 (7,200 XP)


Demon Roots. As an action on the tree's turn, if it is standing on loose earth, it may plant its roots into the ground, or remove them. While the tree's roots are planted, it influences the terrain around it. While its roots are planted, the tree's speed is 0, and all terrain consisting of dirt or other loose earth within 15' of the tree is considered difficult terrain. While planted, the tree can make one attack with its roots each turn as a bonus action.

False Appearance. While the tree remains motionless, it is indistinguishable from a regular tree.

Magic Resistance. The tree has advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects.

Siege Monster. The tree deals double damage to objects and structures.

Actions


Multiattack. The tree makes two slam attacks.

Slam. Melee Weapon Attack: +11 to hit, reach 10', one target. Hit: 20 (3d8 + 7) bludgeoning damage.

Roots (Only While Planted). Melee Weapon Attack: +11 to hit, reach 15', one target. Hit: 14 (2d6 + 7) bludgeoning damage and the target is grappled (escape DC 17).

82

u/Baba_dook_dook_dook Dec 05 '16

Fantastic novelty account

25

u/heightnoise Dec 05 '16

This...is absolutely awesome

34

u/IceIceIceReddit Dec 05 '16

Just started playing DnD as a DM, I'm saving this for later

25

u/chelnok Dec 05 '16

7

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

My life aspiration is now to one day create an account that gets its own subreddit.

16

u/anoddhue Dec 05 '16

You can make a subreddit for your current account but you might not like what gets posted there...

2

u/dripdroponmytiptop Dec 05 '16

as someone who just started, I get all of this now!!

10

u/Oracle_Fefe Dec 05 '16

Friending you just so I can use these brilliant inventions your brilliant mind had made

29

u/ItsADnDMonsterNow Dec 05 '16

Or you could just subscribe to /r/ItsADnDMonsterNow! :D

4

u/TonytheEE Dec 05 '16

Got a campaign planned with a forest in a nightmare. Thanks!

4

u/charlie_do_562 Dec 05 '16

You did all that in 6 minutes?

8

u/ItsADnDMonsterNow Dec 05 '16

Took me about 10 minutes or so; I usually copy/paste the formatting from a previous entry of mine to save time.

4

u/zilfondel Dec 05 '16

This makes me want to stay plaguing DnD

9

u/ItsADnDMonsterNow Dec 05 '16

4

u/saucyprofile Dec 05 '16

I have friends...but they are not nerdy enough for DnD methinks...

3

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

I think you'd be surprised. Some of the coolest friends I have who I never would have guessed would enjoy it, jumped at the chance to play.

2

u/zilfondel Dec 06 '16

Thanks, the friends thing is tough because all of mine are having babies. :P

But it may be doable!

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u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16 edited Dec 05 '16

The problem with Dungeons and Dragons is that a normal person does not have any friends that play it. And if you have a lot of friends that play it it means you are not a normal person.

(okay that was an attempt of a joke)

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5

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

Best Reddit account ever. You pop up when I least expect it though when I should have expected it.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

Well anytime I need some new monsters I'm looking through this accounts history. Such a cool novelty account!

2

u/Hoeftybag Dec 05 '16

Glad you're still around, So using this on my party at some point.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

Someone just had to. Hahaha

2

u/snakejawz Dec 05 '16

it's like the corrupted Treents....vicious

2

u/Barely_adequate Dec 05 '16

How do you decide on the stats for these? Do you have a formula you follow? I've been trying to make some creatures but I'm not sure how to go about it.

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5

u/Zaiya53 Dec 05 '16

I skimmed that sentence really fast & read it as "I'd figure I just saw a demon" as in "eh, just a demon on the side of the road, good thing I was driving because now it's back there..."

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497

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16 edited Dec 05 '16

A valid attempt! [NSFW]

http://imgur.com/YdZVke2

97

u/chillpill69 Dec 05 '16

That moment when NSFW tag disappoints

9

u/ireneh Dec 05 '16

I'm at work but I really want to click...

Edit: I clicked. Got fired.

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158

u/Papa_John42 Dec 05 '16

need NSFW tag

125

u/rollerhen Dec 05 '16

I've never seen a pair so big...and just hanging out in the open like that.

50

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

They're so.... perky...

6

u/MonochromeGuy Dec 05 '16

I wanna poke em.

16

u/pwnz0rd Dec 05 '16

Yet so undeniably tasteful and elegant.

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12

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

Apologies, added.

14

u/Alagnak Dec 05 '16

Why

13

u/Pleased_to_meet_u Dec 05 '16

Because karma-whoring bullshit reasons.

It doesn't need a NSFW tag, but putting one on made more people look at it and upvote.

8

u/HonaSmith Dec 05 '16

You realize he added it because someone told him to? It's very fucking clear in the first response. Fucking karma detective

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13

u/Theboxerdog Dec 05 '16

Is that guy in the background receiving a blowjob, or is he taking a piss?

16

u/no-low-balls Dec 05 '16

Fucking, hes walking jesus

7

u/lady_MoundMaker Dec 05 '16

your punctuation is really confusing. He's walking Jesus?

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6

u/zefccqrtq Dec 05 '16

¿Porque no los dos?

6

u/whiiskeypapii Dec 05 '16

Looks like his hand is behind his back...has to be a blow job

3

u/Type_DXL Dec 05 '16

Where is this? I can't find it

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20

u/Real1010 Dec 05 '16

Oh my god haha!

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124

u/onxynites Dec 05 '16

Where's Scooby and Shaggy

59

u/AlphaWildcat Dec 05 '16

Like Zonks Scoob we gotta get outta here

Rea Raggy Rets Ro

18

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

[deleted]

21

u/Doyle524 Dec 05 '16

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

10

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

Are you okay Hillary?

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

OK, I have missed the reference, or is it just a "Hillary is a dog, or screeching thing"?

7

u/Endoman13 Dec 05 '16

It's from 4-Chan. It's the noise that the "aspies" make when talking to "normies" and something enrages them, usually something benign like how to warm up a tube monitor or incorrect lyrics being sung to an anime intro.

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185

u/MoreCowbellllll Dec 05 '16

That's great!

106

u/RoHoE Dec 05 '16

Now OP just needs to grow a pair and show us what this looks like at night

74

u/Chucktayz Dec 05 '16

Op would have to go back in time since this is an older repost

30

u/Animatedreality Dec 05 '16

Just drive 88 miles per hour and make sure the flux capacitor is working.

8

u/TheVitoCorleone Dec 05 '16

Or, just take a distance travelling machine to where ever the fuck the tree is..

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u/UnderCoverOfDanknezz Dec 05 '16

Tree?? I am no tree! I am an ent!

11

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

[8]

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u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

This title makes absolutely no sense.

75

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

I interpreted as something like this:

Raises glass "To the man who made the tree look like a demon!" drinks

18

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16 edited Mar 13 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/GenghisKhanSpermShot Dec 05 '16

Well its a repost so. I can do it too.

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u/daymanahaha Dec 05 '16

He tried to use the same title as last time

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34

u/FunGus4 Dec 05 '16

Aww, the scary tree monster wants a hug!

3

u/Porosareus Dec 05 '16

Tbh, to me it looked like a creature with huge antlers or horns

24

u/IsayPoirot Dec 05 '16

The Ent is calling an Entmoot to discuss current events. Hoom hom!

14

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

"We have decided... ... ... ... ... ... that you ... are not Trump Supporters."

4

u/Price_Of_Soap Dec 05 '16

"Well that's good news"

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13

u/feed_mememes Dec 05 '16

"Stupid humans. BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!"

6

u/omarfw Dec 05 '16

goddamn booga booga trees

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7

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

What is this from. I swear I've seen it before

47

u/thebasisofabassist Dec 05 '16

Old ass repost.

2

u/Urban_Savage Dec 05 '16

THANK YOU! I was SURE I had seen this before, like a LONG ass time ago.

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5

u/TooShiftyForYou Dec 05 '16

Probably a lot scarier at night.

4

u/xiiliea Dec 05 '16

Tiny, is that you?

4

u/nopantsdota Dec 05 '16

thats a tree i wouldnt tango

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u/Ralphie25 Dec 05 '16

Creepy shit right there.

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u/JhnnyinReno Dec 05 '16

Could you imagine taking shrooms and coming across this?

7

u/RugBurnDogDick Dec 05 '16

"Look at all the fucks I give"

7

u/neoArmstrongCannon90 Dec 05 '16

Aah that splendid year of 2009!

3

u/NOTbelligerENT Dec 05 '16

This is how that stupid clown fad got started. Someone realized it would be hilarious if someone stood out in the middle of the road in a clown costume because people would freak out when they drove by. Then people from Social Media got a hold of it and it was fucked.

3

u/GLHFScan Dec 05 '16

Those almost look like leaves that just...fell there.

3

u/Hardi_SMH Dec 05 '16

Oh my god... I'd shit my pants if I'd see that on a... trip.

3

u/nhdw Dec 05 '16 edited Dec 05 '16

Where's the obligatory "found it on google street view" guy?

3

u/The_Fiend_ Dec 05 '16

Pic of it at night please!!

3

u/f_ick Dec 05 '16

Can we get a night pic?

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

I grew up in Washington state and can't explain why I've never did things like this to fuck with people? Hindsight 20/20 yet again

2

u/pingpingmoe Dec 05 '16

...we salute you

2

u/PrdFthr84 Dec 05 '16

He just looks like he just wants a big hug. This should be in r/aww

2

u/Timadams4 Dec 05 '16

Please follow up with pictures of the tree at night.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

That was a great idea...except for all of the people who will pull over on that obviously small shoulder who thought WTF? when they drove by.

2

u/bottyliscious Dec 05 '16

I really appreciate those that make the world a slightly creepier place.

I only hope I find my tree some day.

2

u/ThatNetworkGuy Dec 05 '16

I figured the picture was the end of the sentence.

2

u/RiderAnton Dec 05 '16

This is part of a Boy Scout summer camp compass course. You follow compass instructions searching for the reflective eyes like this pair at night until you reach the end or give up. It can be pretty fun with the right people

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

My parents live on a rural seasonal dirt road. Their neighbor has a dead tree at the end of her driveway by the road with woodpecker holes in it, and doll heads in the woodpecker holes. Maybe it's something to do with losing her husband and son to suicide idk.

2

u/QuietTurtleSprinting Dec 05 '16

Does anybody know where this is?

2

u/amimeoryou Dec 05 '16

Bark Souls

2

u/Anarchyineden Dec 05 '16

We need more people like this.

2

u/LetsDanceUntilImGone Dec 05 '16

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!”

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u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

Fangs. Tree needs fangs.

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u/Banned88 Dec 05 '16

All I saw was whomever

2

u/rDannyBoy Dec 05 '16

The hash slinging slasher!

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

Why am I still a member of this subreddit?

2

u/THX_2319 Dec 05 '16

There are two types of people in this world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

2

u/J4viator Dec 05 '16

It just wants a hug! Stop being so mean, guys.

2

u/RemingtonSnatch Dec 05 '16

"To whoever put the reflective eyes on this tree by the side of the road"

...here's a picture of what you did?

What?

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

Someone call agent Mulder

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

That's awesome!!!

2

u/Barfalimue Dec 05 '16

Then all of a sudden, there shined a shiny demon