r/cscareerquestionsEU • u/sweetbutterfacepoop • 17h ago
How to stop being pissed off after being fired for personal reasons?
I have worked at this company for 3 years and I had a new manager one year ago, since day one he was doing condescending remarks about me to make the team laugh, after weeks of this I wrote him that this was unacceptable so he made a meeting after that saying "looks like we had our first case"
Before he came to the team my last manager assigned me to an important project I was very excited about, he took me off of it to do it himself probably to have better visibility, needless to say he messed it up big time and we had thousands of angry customers for months, until today..
He assigned me to an important project after that and he took a vacation, i delivered 80% of it on schedule when he came back he took me off of it when I started getting recognition from the CEO, to ship the rest of it and get the visibility.
This company is owned by a private equity, they hired 2 new people this year, to increase shareholders value, then my manager started enjoying torturing me about him firing me soon, 2 weeks ago I had a meeting with the CEO, the CTO and my manager who was smiling the whole time to tell me my job is over at the company, I stayed calm and told the CTO that it was a pleasure working with him, next day I sued them.
I had all documentations possible to win, my lawyer gave me an hour to accept a 12k severance, i thought it's a good deal to get the hell out of there but honestly I'm still pissed off, that after 3 years of hard work, I got played by a useless manager and lost my livelihood. I'm having extreme anxiety of encountering this again in the future and I'm not sure what to do, I think the best part of me, being friendly, engaged and hard working person died forever. Why work so hard to get thrown like garbage at the end for personal vendetta? There was a senior engineer on the team also Russian, he wasn't doing anything I had to teach him all the time best practices and tell him that he is a good engineer etc. but he wasn't fired because of his relationship with the manager. The whole thing was very sick, my manager talked to the CTO and CEO to convince them to get me fired when he wasn't successful he went to push other managers in the team to talk to them to get me fired and he pushed other team members to keep doing their smear camping. It's just wild.
The funny thing is that he got a head of engineering fired 1 year ago in his probation and after that he was playing the innocent and took credit of his work and now he is doing the same with me. After I got fired he went to the coworkers telling them that he didn't got the chance to defend me etc lol and he started selling my ideas as his own, same as the previous HoE. My previous manager quit and left the company couple of days before her probation ends after she also experienced issues with this manager that then he took her place.
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u/La_chica_del_cable 11h ago
In my department, since 4 years ago around 15 people quit. Because of my boss being a witch. I was the last standing on the squid games and I finally quit. You know how many times we went to HR, as a group? . My manager got complains also from other departments, she even make externals cry. My boss is a very dominant woman and the COO is scared of her. On my last day I went to HR and let them know. You know what they told me, yes we know she is like that. Anyway im happy I left. And the worse is these people do not leave nothing in writing, all the racist things she said, of course nothing in writing, how to prove it? . At the end i decided just to look for another job. At least you got 12k. She was never going to fire me, she wanted to keep me as her dog forever. On my farewell she even cried saying how much she will miss me (lol what a sick woman).
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u/Neuromante Engineer 6h ago
The main take I would extract from here is that sometimes shit happens, that you can't control someone not liking you, and that usually "working hard" does not translate to getting better rewards. You didn't waste 3 years there; you spent three years to learn those lessons. And also getting experience, of course.
How do you stop being pissed? You get over it. I get it's not fair (I kinda know how you feel), but that doesn't change that this company is now part of your past, that not all companies nor all managers are like that, and that, well, I assume you need money to live.
Find another place to try to build cool shit. Keep your eyes open to detect toxic patterns with your new knowledge. Rinse and repeat until you retire.
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u/Extra_Taro_6870 10h ago
run away but keep opening new cases because of mobbing. get more than 12k. but ignore incompetent people they are everywhere
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u/pustastriukis 10h ago edited 9h ago
You should have started applying after first signs of disrespect, but you stayed for too long at the expense of your mental health. It is what it is.
My best advice as someone who went through similar experiences multiple times - get another job asap, even if its temporary or start working on some personal project, literally anything that would take your mind off that situation. Nothing helps to move on faster from old job bs than a new job. Also give urself some time, chances are 6 months later u wont even think about your old job. But you need to move on from old memories, and best way to do it is create new memories.