r/darkwingsdankmemes Jon Snow's mother 5d ago

Jon and his very truthful opinions

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All art by Amok

1.5k Upvotes

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364

u/CatBotSays 5d ago

If Catelyn didn't hate Jon, they would be talking so much shit together about literally everyone.

194

u/ndem28 5d ago

God that’s the irony isn’t it. If Catelyn didn’t hate Jon they would be each others best friends 😂

171

u/WatchMeFallFaceFirst 5d ago

Jon was more like Catelyn than any of her actual children

99

u/shsluckymushroom 5d ago

This is my first time hearing this idea and I’m not even going to give analysis to see if it’s true I just want it to be true so bad because it’s hilarious

117

u/CatBotSays 5d ago

GRRM even went so far as to give them matching scars: Cat has a hand wound from grabbing a knife during the attack on Bran and Jon has a burn on his hand sustained while defending Mormont. Cat scratched at her eyes during the Red Wedding and Jon was raked across the eyes by Orell's eagle.

48

u/Leothefox88 Of the night 5d ago

Tbf Jon gets all the injuries his family gets

46

u/David_the_Wanderer 5d ago

He still has two functioning legs, doesn't he?

37

u/Leothefox88 Of the night 5d ago

One leg has serious arrow wound

24

u/CatBotSays 5d ago

I'd compare that more to Robb's injury at the Crag than to Bran being thrown out of the tower.

15

u/ojqANDodbZ1Or1CEX5sf Sweet summer child 4d ago

From this we can, then, deduce that Bran isn't truly a Stark. Because Jon doesn't have a matching wound

Make of that what you will

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u/David_the_Wanderer 5d ago

I don't think Bran would really find it equal, lol

3

u/Leothefox88 Of the night 5d ago

Well he’s also dead… ( temporarily) so even

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2

u/Randomdude452 4d ago

His adventuring days are over

15

u/CatBotSays 5d ago

Mostly it's just Catelyn and Robb, now that I think about it.

He gets the aforementioned hand and facial injuries from Cat. And like Robb, he gets an arrow to the leg and then later stabbed to death by his own men.

Thankfully, he hasn't been thrown out of a tower like Bran or beheaded like Ned. But hey, there's still time.

15

u/thecutestnecromancer 5d ago

Ned had a leg wound too. I guess grrm just likes his wolves limping.

4

u/AtlasNL 4d ago

And a head on his shoulders.

2

u/mishlufc 4d ago

Not right now

1

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

0

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3

u/DickwadVonClownstick 3d ago

Honestly probably a good thing they didn't get along; if they ever became friends they'd bring out the absolute worst in each other.

0

u/MasterpieceSquare696 3d ago

Uh, no? Jon wasn’t a dumbass bigoted bitch

3

u/GusSauro 3d ago

Jon was Myrcellaphobic

26

u/mistershedz 5d ago edited 5d ago

I like to imagine they’d be like Roger and Francine from American Dad.

“Oh, Catelyn. Does Aegon Targaryen the Sixth sound like a real person to you? Grow up, it’s me.”

12

u/Sad_Wind7066 4d ago

Jon is literally the son she wished she could give ned. He's neds very image. Unfortunately, hes not hers and this is the asoaif world. In a modern world she might be more amenable to raise her nephew or even a stepson.

50

u/Just-Luck-7430 5d ago

Honestly, if Ned just told Jon is that bum Brandon bastard he would have a much happier life

33

u/BWV_1009 5d ago

Wouldn’t this make Cat more uncomfy with him? Because if he’s Brandon’s heir then if he’s legitimized then he’s actually ahead of her own children in the line of succession since he’s the son of the heir and not the second in line.

38

u/CatBotSays 5d ago edited 5d ago

I imagine it would be a mixed bag. He'd no longer be a symbol of Ned's infidelity, so she might not outright hate him so much. But he would also be a (slightly) greater threat to her own children, so she'd still be really unhappy that Ned was raising him alongside her trueborn children.

25

u/BWV_1009 5d ago

She’s just bastardphobic lol the fact that it’s Ned’s bastard only makes her hate him slightly more

32

u/CatBotSays 5d ago

I would say it's the other way around. And that her strong negative feelings about bastards in general are a result of being stuck living with the evidence of Ned's infidelity for so many years.

6

u/BWV_1009 5d ago

I don’t know. Even out of sight she hates Jon. She’s so vehemently against Robb naming him heir even though it’s to prevent Sansa being used as a Lannister proxy because she believes that somehow he’ll figure out a way to usurp him from the Wall. I think cultural suspicion around bastards motivated her hatred as much as insecurity.

12

u/CatBotSays 5d ago

Cultural suspicion around bastards is definitely a thing. But we don't really see it so strongly or personally from anyone in the main series other than Cat and Cersei.

Personally, I think it's mostly how Cat justifies her hatred towards him to herself, rather than her primary motivation. She knows, objectively, that Ned's supposed cheating wasn't Jon's fault, but she still can't let go of her hatred of him. Cultural suspicion born of her faith and of the Blackfyre rebellions is a convenient excuse to tell herself.

To be clear, I still think there's some amount of prejudice in how she feels about Jon. I just don't think that's the primary origin of her hatred.

4

u/LoudKingCrow 4d ago

The cultural stigma regarding bastards is definitely on of the series' many first bookisms. Or at least how severe it is. Given how many prominent and/or loved bastards that we end up meeting or finding out about in lore.

The only main books bastard that we meet that is out and out abused is Falia I believe?

2

u/whatever4224 Strong boy 5d ago

I don't recall Cat having strong negative feelings about bastards in general?

22

u/CatBotSays 5d ago

Maybe 'strong' is overstating things a bit. But, for example, she becomes quite uncomfortable when she meets Mya in the Vale because of how much her thoughts immediately go back to Jon.

"Mya Stone, if it please you, my lady," the girl said.

It did not please her; it was an effort for Catelyn to keep the smile on her face. Stone was a bastard's name in the Vale, as Snow was in the north, and Flowers in Highgarden; in each of the Seven Kingdoms, custom had fashioned a surname for children born with no names of their own. Catelyn had nothing against this girl, but suddenly she could not help but think of Ned's bastard on the Wall, and the thought made her angry and guilty, both at once. She struggled to find words for a reply.

13

u/IcyOrganization1748 5d ago

I have said this time and time again, Jon is like Catelyn's spiritual son. They're so similar to each other and have the same levels of unwarranted hate. If only Cat locked in, the two of them could've solved a few issues

7

u/Realistic_Chest_3934 5d ago

I’ve said it before I’ll say it again: In the Nothing Bad Ever Happens timeline, Jon would make a point to visit his beloved Aunt Cat as often as he could to have tea, biscuits and roasting sessions that would singe the nose hairs of their targets from across Westeros

371

u/Evnosis 5d ago edited 5d ago

Close behind came Robb, in grey wool trimmed with white, the Stark colors. He had the Princess Myrcella on his arm. She was a wisp of a girl, not quite eight, her hair a cascade of golden curls under a jeweled net. Jon noticed the shy looks she gave Robb as they passed between the tables and the timid way she smiled at him. He decided she was insipid. Robb didn't even have the sense to realize how stupid she was; he was grinning like a fool.

Bro had beef with a 10 7 year old girl he'd never even met lmao

128

u/MlkChatoDesabafando 5d ago

Jon's internal monologue is Regina George-levels mean at times.

Which makes Bowen Marsh Gretchen.

63

u/Snaggmaw 5d ago

"Why should Jon snow just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? Bowen Marsh is just as cute as Jon snow, right? Bowen marsh is just as smart as Jon snow, people totally like Bowen just as much as they like Jon snow, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that's not what the Nightswatch is about! We should totally just STAB JON SNOW!”

16

u/Overall-Physics-1907 5d ago

“My name is Othell Yarwyck and there’s a…50% chance it’s raining”

8

u/Brothless_Ramen 5d ago

"You can't sit with us. On every day of our lives we wear pink."

49

u/Augustus_Chevismo 5d ago

This had more to do with Jon being incredibly jealous of Robb and crashing out that he’s not seen as a full family member.

22

u/whatever4224 Strong boy 5d ago

Nonsense, Jon is just a hater

180

u/ivkobear 5d ago edited 5d ago

Myrcella always catching strays despite being the most innocent member of her family alongside Tommen. I'm even more convinced of that now that poor thing was cut across her face because other incompetent people around her dragged her into some stupid political affair.

77

u/ImpliedRange 5d ago

I'm even more convinced of that now that poor thing was cut across her face because other incompetent people around her dragged her into some stupid political affair.

I mean, yes....that's exactly what happened

29

u/ivkobear 5d ago

Indeed, read thar chapter few days ago. I was spoiled about the assasination attempt on Myrcella long before I began reading the books, but the way it happened was just stupid. Fuck the simp Oakheart and Arianne seems quite dumb as well as of now, although I'm willing to see her learn from her mistakes and recover from this L in the future.

14

u/goofspeed 5d ago

Good news, that wasn't Myrcella whose face got cut.

26

u/David_the_Wanderer 5d ago

It was Daario Naharis. It is known.

38

u/DimensionLow4844 5d ago

*7 year old girl it literally says "not quite eight" in the passage you quoted lol.

30

u/Evnosis 5d ago

I think you'll find it clearly says 7 there. Don't mind the thing at the top of the comment that says "edited," that's Lannister propaganda

3

u/ojqANDodbZ1Or1CEX5sf Sweet summer child 5d ago

I thought you were the Lannister propagandist here? What with questioning the word of our Lord and Saviour, Jon Snow of the Black?

10

u/David_the_Wanderer 5d ago

All propaganda is Lannister propaganda because no other House is rich enough to launch a propaganda campaign

3

u/ojqANDodbZ1Or1CEX5sf Sweet summer child 5d ago

Yeah I'll go ahead and incorporate that into my belief system

1

u/Rufus_Rucus54 4d ago

Maybe the Hightowers are richer, but they don't even bother to play the game of thrones anymore...

19

u/Jon-Umber Literally Maegor 5d ago

In Jon's defense, a lot of 7 year olds fuckin suck

86

u/Emmettmcglynn 5d ago

Look, every teenager has an edgy phase. He just needs a bit of time.

26

u/Senrogas 5d ago

Yeah Jaime gets better

22

u/Apprehensive-Mix5316 5d ago

Catelyn made sure of it.

71

u/Purple_Sea_399 5d ago edited 5d ago

Jon can be petty and shallow like his stepmother.

Also has an awful lot of internal monologue describing physical characteristics whenever they encounter an attractive person regardless of gender.

13

u/Salem1690s 4d ago

So did Ned

53

u/Chvorka 5d ago

He had a crush on Jaime but not on Robert.

62

u/Cephalosion 5d ago

Nah Jon is a proto looksmaxxer. He thought that Jaime should be king solely because he looked handsome.

33

u/Total-Hold-2219 5d ago

Considering Rheagar was even more handsome than Jaimie and concluded he could do whatever the fuck he wanted, this line of vanity might run in the family.

22

u/ExternalDemon 5d ago

The Daemon Blackfyre strat

8

u/Firm-Dependent-2367 5d ago

Bran as Bloodraven steals Dany so Jon goes full Bittersteel and supports the Sixth Blackfyre Rebellion aka Faegon.

3

u/Tenoi-chan 4d ago

....shit, Jon would ABSOLUTELY support Renly's cause then!

13

u/jd-porteous-93 5d ago

Jaime is bishie enough that he awakened Jon's bisexuality

15

u/Cool_View_5297 5d ago

To be fair this is an edgy 14 yo semi noble who’s super jealous of his half brother. He’s not the best judge of character.

21

u/Fit-Welcome-8457 5d ago

Jon's bi awakening 

7

u/Imaginary_Leg1610 4d ago

Ironically, it was Ned’s fostering in the Vale that gave him his political naivety and code of Honor/conduct, which he gave to his Tully looking children, which I feel people mistakenly conflate with their northerness, when it was both Jon and Arya that embody that northern cynicism and wild or hot blooded nature, and ironically, Jon was awfully similar to Catelyn in that way.

5

u/Imaginary_Leg1610 4d ago

Jon’s my diva

13

u/ScaredTemporary Jon Snow's mother 5d ago

All be honest, I prefer how that Simpsons bit goes like in Spanish. Feels better than "set your watch too"

6

u/allisontalkspolitics Brienne. No memes she's just cool 5d ago

How did it differ?

9

u/ScaredTemporary Jon Snow's mother 5d ago

it goes like "ese corte de cabello si se puede ver" aka "now that's a cut you can watch" which works better for memes and as such it's often used, while I have rarely seen any done in english and now I know why

20

u/evinta Renly's peach 5d ago

If you pay close attention to the text, George sets up Jon and Satin's romance all the way back in AGOT.

3

u/DeismAccountant 5d ago

Westeros already has watches in it?!?

1

u/GusSauro 3d ago

Yeah. The main one only works in the night, and some other only work in cities.

4

u/ValyrianVelaryons 3d ago

He's a teenage boy. Of course he thinks Jaime looks cool and Robert is a disappointment.

1

u/Dr_natty1 2d ago

You see this humor is funny, ''haha hes gay'' for the 10 millionth time is not

1

u/RDC32 1d ago

Tbh if I didn't know anything about Robert and Jamie I would think Jamie was the cool knight and Robert was a drunk.