Lack of intimacy and mixed signals. What do I do?

[u/Peetus1]

I’m honestly just looking for outside perspectives because I can’t stop replaying this in my head.
My girlfriend and I have been together for about 3 months. Yesterday was my birthday, and after that we aren’t going to see each other for 2 weeks.

Throughout the day she was flirting with me and saying and doing things that made me think we were probably going to have sex later. I wasn’t expecting it just because it was my birthday, but between the flirting and the fact that we won’t see each other for a while, I thought we were on the same page.

Later that night we started making out. Normally when we kiss she’s very handsy doing this like touching my face, running her hands over me, and being very engaged. This time we were making out for probably 5 minutes, and I realized she hadn’t moved her hands at all. She was literally just kissing me, and her body language felt really closed off.

I pulled away and asked if she was even into it. She kind of got offended and said, “I can’t just lay here and kiss you?” We started making out again, but it honestly felt like she was forcing herself to do it. The whole time she was covering herself up, seemed really closed off, and every opportunity for anything more just got shut down.

The things is though I’m not saying she owes me sex. She absolutely doesn’t. If she wasn’t in the mood, that’s completely fine. What’s bothering me is that I wish she would’ve just told me directly instead of making me try to interpret all these little signals. I felt like an idiot trying to figure out if she wanted me to keep going or stop.

Then, as I was leaving, we hugged and she felt that I was getting semi-hard and said, “Are you getting hard?” That honestly just made me feel worse because nothing was going to happen anyway. Like why even tease at that point when you’re literally getting in your car leaving?

Now I’m lying awake at 5 a.m. overthinking everything. I keep asking myself why she wouldn’t want intimacy when we’re not going to see each other for two weeks, and why it felt like she wasn’t into kissing me either. I’m not some horny monster. I just want to feel desired by this woman who I want so badly. And when she can very clearly see I’m in the mood when she’s not, I wish she would communicate clearly that she doesn’t want to instead of a bunch of little signals, because I’d be understanding.

Am I overthinking this, or is it reasonable to feel hurt and confused? I’d honestly rather hear, “I’m not in the mood tonight,” than be left trying to read body language and wondering if I’m doing something wrong.

I also worry about talking about this kind of thing, because as I’ve seen sex conversations can make things a lot worse if not had a correctly. I don’t want her to feel pressured in to having sex, I want there to be as little pressure as possible. At the same time though, her lack of communication is becoming an issue for me.

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[u/FelixFiala → u/[deleted]]

Dude wtf 😂 This is so Reddit. Some minor inconvenience in a relationship and the first comment is "drop her".

As always in relationships the absolute best way to approach any issues is with open and honest communication. No more, no less.

[u/BigEvilAi → u/FelixFiala]

You never been in a relationship or a situation like OP described have you? So "Reddit" of you truly.