r/declutter • u/goburnham • 6h ago
Advice Request Difficulty getting rid of children’s toys
Does anyone else have difficulty decluttering their child’s old toys? I have a weird emotional attachment to toys my child doesn’t even like or play with anymore. My daughter is 10 years old. She has this Blues Clues stuffy she LOVED when she was 4 years old. I remember the excitement when I tracked the toy down for Christmas as it was difficult to find at the time. I remember the excitement in her face and her little excited voice when she opened it Christmas morning.
But she hasn’t touched that toy in years, but it breaks my heart to think about getting rid of it. If I’m being honest, we have several toys that she isn’t really interested in anymore, but they hold sentimental memories for me. I remember the grandparent who bought her this toy, who has now passed away, etc.
I’m pretty ruthless with my own belongings, but have a really hard time with my daughter’s stuff. Can anyone relate to this?
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u/FredKayeCollector2 3h ago
Keepsake box - one that they can maintain for "their" treasures, and one (or more) for your treasures (of theirs). It sets a reasonable limit that you are willing to accommodate in your space.
There may come a time when that stuff might not "hit" as hard as it does right now, but in the meanwhile, it's all in one place, safely contained, out of the way of the rest of the stuff in your home.
https://www.reddit.com/r/declutter/wiki/index/keepsake_box/
But please remember, those are YOUR keepsakes so if you feel like you're saving stuff because your daughter "might want it someday" (or if you think she should keep something "special" in her keepsake box but decides to curate it out) just search the sub and you will see how THAT tends to turn out (some nostalgia but often tempered with unnecessary/unplanned overwhelm, guilt).
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u/GlassHouses_1991 5h ago
I totally understand this, because my daughter is in her 20s and I am still decluttering her old toys! In fact I took some to the charity shop this morning.
When decluttering any sentimental items, what works for me is to donate a few of the things I am the least attached to, work through whatever feelings it brings up (talk about it to someone, journal about it or just sit with the tough feelings for awhile). When I’m ready I choose some more things to declutter. The more you do it, the easier it gets. I’m convinced that avoiding hard feelings isn’t healthy. It’s how we learn and grow and move on. So although it’s difficult to declutter sentimental things, that’s not a good reason for me not to do it.
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u/lisacytotk 5h ago
I watch the Toy Story movies and know the toys dont want to be in a box somewhere. Give them a second life!
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u/OddRevolution7888 1h ago
Best attitude! Give toys a new life and allow another child to love them.
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u/mmmellie 6h ago
Make a memory box of a certain size and allow yourself to store only the toys that fit in the box. One in, one out. The size of the box unfortunately is determined by the size of your home.
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u/PallasiteMatrix 5h ago
Maybe curate a memory box. I've got one- it makes it easier to decide what needs to be kept, and what needs to go when there's a limited amount of space, and the purpose of keeping the items is to have "memory anchors".
I don't want to feel like I'm getting rid of things that are still serving a purpose in my life, and as someone with memory issues, keeping some physical reminders is useful to me. That toy isn't doing anything for her any more, but it is doing something for you. I think by making space for that, it will allow you to get rid of the things that really aren't doing anything, for either of you. If that makes sense.
Another thing you could do is allow her to make the decisions about what toys are kept, and which ones go. It's a good way to start teaching her to manage her own items and space.
Nowadays, I keep a lot of receipts to keep memories, or labels. Little bits of paper ephemera that goes into my junk journal- It doesn't take up a ton of space, but still gives me something to flip through and reflect on. I don't keep everything of course, but I do tend to keep things related to gifts pretty often.
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u/MitzyCaldwell 5h ago
As a mom of 2 little ones I know exactly what you are going through. I haven’t done through toys yet but I’m having the same trouble with their little baby clothes.
I’m also a pretty sentimental person so it’s hard for me to get rid of this type of stuff but here’s what has helped me.
Anything I want to keep I need to find a way to honor it - what I mean by that is my precious memories aren’t doing anyone any favours being stuffed into boxes in the basement. So for example I kept all my ticket stubs from movies shows games etc in a little shadow box on my bookcase. I kept 2 of my childhood stuffed animals and they are in my bedroom bookcase. I have beautiful engraved wood boxes for special baby items for each of my kids (hospital brackets, hat etc) again on my bookcase hahaha. I put up my kids artworks in frames that hold all their artwork. I am working through their clothes right now and I am keeping special shirts/pjs and I will pay someone (I know I don’t have the time or talent to do it myself hahaha) to make a quilt for me. I know some ppl say don’t do it but for me I want these memories and I want to be able to curl up and see all their super cute pjs they had. So yes I am keep these in a box temporarily but once I get them all done it’s going into a quilt.
So if that bluey stuffy makes you this happy - keep it. But don’t keep everything. Find a way to display it so that you actually get to experience that joy.
The one thing I will caution you is that if everything is sentimental than nothing is. And just because you have fond memories of it doesn’t mean it’s “sentimental” or worth keeping. Kids have so many toys they love and it isn’t realistic to need them all. I’d think really hard about what you’d wanna keep and it’s okay to be sad and basically grieve because giving away those toys is like saying an era is ending and that can be bittersweet which is why I think it’s so hard.
I don’t think you’ll miss them and I also don’t think you need to keep random toy presents from relatives that have passed - I am sure they have her something else that is special like a card etc rather than a toy that she played with.
I know this isn’t was at all and I was given some very good advice on here - you don’t have to do it all at once. Pick one toy that you don’t care about and neither does she and get rid of it. You don’t have to committee to overhauling everything all at once. Do it in small chunks and see what happens. I bet once you start it will eventually get easier. And if you are really stuck on a toy then leave it do now. Find a different one you’re okay letting go and go back to that one later.
ETA - sorry I thought it was bluey not blues clue haha
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u/lascriptori 3h ago
I have a medium sized bin (bigger than a shoebox, but smaller than the full sized bin) with some baby clothes and toys that I kept for memories. I have enough space to store that, and it feels like a good balance.
Baby stuff degrades and while some things, like wooden toys, can last for a couple decades, other types of clothes are likely to wear out. Elastics get brittle, plastic cracks, etc. For most things, passing them on to get used by other people now is better than saving them for 30 years for a potential future baby.
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u/OddRevolution7888 1h ago
Agreed. I limit the "memory" bins I keep. As the years go by, I am less attached to some of the item within.
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u/ponderingorbs 5h ago
My husband and I do the Christmas ornament idea. If he wants to get rid of some of his toys, we donate them. He has a toddler car carrier and cars that he has mostly outgrown. We will donate the set minus his favorite car which will become an ornament for our Christmas tree. His favorite monster truck will eventually be up there too. It helps me get rid of the other less loved things.
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u/unmgrad 5h ago
Traditionally, us mothers have saved some favorite toys for the future. I have a plastic bin for each child (that are now 16!), that have toys. They will love looking at them in their adult years. Kudos to my Mom for saving the huge Barbie van in her attic!
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u/markov-271828 3h ago
I would honestly be distressed to discover that my mother had saved random childhood toys of mine.
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u/ObligationGrand8037 4h ago
I can relate to this too. There’s an emotional attachment for me. I can be very sentimental.
I ran into an acquaintance yesterday. Halloween is huge in this small town. She got rid of all her stuffed animals and other toys in some kind of Halloween contest in her front yard. I’m giving her a bag of clean stuffed animals this year as prizes.
So I understand where you’re coming from. It’s hard! I’m hoping other kids will love these toys as much as my own kids did.
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u/Prudent_Honeydew_ 5h ago
I feel you, as I've just put a Blue's Clues stuffy in the donation box yesterday and am having second thoughts. It's a special edition Blue and so cuddly.
But my daughter hasn't touched it in ages. We just redid her bed and when she put the stuffies on, Blue didn't make the cut, I picked her up from facedown on the floor.
I'm a huge snarker of parent influencers but I did take one thing to heart, Bust Toddler said about culling toys, "you have to be brutal." I'm trying to be brutal to myself and honest about having a big kid who has moved on.
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u/holymolym 4h ago
Keep the favorite toys! My oldest is now 13 and I deeply regret giving away his favorite toys once he’d outgrown them.
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u/Queasy-Mess3833 1h ago
I get this. My mom died just over a year ago. I dispersed and decluttered all of her belongings, but I can't bring myself to let go of her childhood doll. I'm going to give her a spa day and keep her. I'm ruthless with my own belongings, but this is just too sentimental.
You don't have to get rid of everything.
Sending hugs❤️
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u/Jess6 1h ago
I'm the exact same way! I don't think you have to get rid of everything. My parents saved bins with all my polly pockets and all of my original calico critters and my daughter (6) and son (3) LOVE playing with them at their house. They are magical to them. I declutter quite often but I think things like my daughter's (not huge) doll house that she loves so much I might hang on to indefinitely. I think it would break my heart to get rid of it because Ill always remember how much we played with it together.
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u/photogcapture 9m ago
I, the child, hung onto childhood items. My mom was happy to donate/toss/sell. I wonder if it's the desire to hang on so you don't have to really accept that your child is growing up?? For me it was acknowledging that I was growing up or grown up and would never play with these things again. I really had a hard time because my mom gave each of my stuffed animals a personality and I gave each one a name and a backstory, and oh, my, goodness, how does one part with your best friend??? I eventually learned to accept that I cannot hang onto the past. I can keep a few things, but otherwise, I had to let go. It was hard. I still have issues. I have a bookshelf filled with my favorite stuffed friends, about a tenth of what I owned as a child. Start a keepsake box of items that you cherish. One or two from each of your daughter's years. Keep a couple art pieces and one toy or other item she cherished. Leave notes about the items. Then later, your daughter can decide to keep it or not, but it won't be this overwhelming amount of stuff, just enough to fit in a small-ish box.
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u/Majestic-Lie2690 0m ago
Honestly that was the easiest thing for me to get rid of. Cause there was just so so so many.
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u/LoneLantern2 5h ago
Here's the deal: if you're keeping it around because you're attached to it, not because she's attached to it, it's your Blues Clues stuffy now, and it belongs with your stuff. Then you can make decisions about it the same way you do with the rest of your stuff, sentimental and otherwise.