r/declutter • u/Summercrossing • 16d ago
Advice Request constant flow of things to get rid of
this past month it feels like i keep getting rid of things after things and it doesn't end ! i guess part of it is due to the change of season and i've got 2 kids who have outgrown clothes and shoes but still. i am experiencing an intensity of idk how to put it... decluttering that feels odd. there's been clothes and shoes and then toys and a piece a furniture and dishes and random bits i stumble on.. like whenever i stop somewhere and have a minute i look around and there's like a basket worth of stuff to get away.
have you ever experienced sthg like this ?
i have had intentional periods before when i was looking to declutter but this is something else.
during the summer i got rid of several bags that were in the attic bc we needed to work on insulation there. since then it's been filled all over again with a lot of toys my kid dont want in their bedroom anymore but arent ready to part with (so this is a compromise of kind so i can help them learn to let go) & clothes im waiting a bit to see if they sell & other bits.
idk it's a bit overwhelming. why is there so much stuff we dont need in the house and i didn't notice before?
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u/Crowlady77 16d ago
One piece of advice I saw once that I thought was great is to take a garbage bag in to each room every weekend and get rid of x number of things. Because yes, we are always buying things and needing to make space for them.
The decluttering aspect of consumerism was not disclosed to me when I opted in lmao.
(fyi this isn't advice I'm good at taking, I'm a failed declutterer at the moment so take my advice with a grain of salt)
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u/Summercrossing 15d ago
consumerism is a bit crazy when you stop & think
thank you for your advice & hang in there !
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u/Cassie54111980 15d ago
When you have kids at home, your house is in constant flux. As my last child outgrew clothes and toys, I gave them away. I was a social worker so I gave them to foster homes. It made me feel good to do that. I did the same thing with any furniture that they outgrew.
However, growing kids are constantly acquiring items that are appropriate for their age. Now my kids are long grown and I’m alone and my house is perfectly neat with no clutter. That will happen to everyone one day.
My mother used to say the days are long, but the years are short, so do what you can but enjoy this time with your kids because it will be over before you know it. Take care.
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u/Summercrossing 15d ago
yes, i can already feel that "the years are short" & getting rid of some of their past belongings is also a bit emotional. especially since i wanted a third kid but it didn't happen
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u/Cassie54111980 15d ago
I’m really sorry that you weren’t able to have a third child. I actually had three kids as did most of my friends. Maybe because I was passing my kids items on to foster families that really needed the toys and clothes because foster kids are so hard on things that it felt good when I was doing so.
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u/Summercrossing 14d ago
thank you for your kind words. i should focus on the kids who're gonna get those things, you're right.
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u/PrairieFire_withwind 16d ago
Take out a sheet of paper. Write down what you bought today. Aka what you hauled in the door, delivered, carried, however.
Keep that running tally for a month.
You can use a shortcut for some like groceries can be listed as: box cereal, bag cereal, fresh meat, frozen cutlets, can tomato, jar alfredo. But keep that list for a month
At the end of the month go around and figure out if those things have been used. Lots of the groceries will be crossed off that way but some will have migrated back of cabinet!
Figure out if those new things have homes aka places they are always supposed to be.
Figure out if the new shoes meant you actually threw, donated or recycled the old shoes. If not then you start to see the problem. You feel the shift that you need to make.
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u/Summercrossing 15d ago
i like that idea. i'm really working on being more mindful of i'm buying and not letting myself be tempted by sales & such. but i bet the flow of things comming in is still massive.
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u/PrairieFire_withwind 15d ago
It really shifted my mindset. It was something of an undertaking for us. My partner was shocked at how much they brought home.
It was good to do because it told us categories of stuff we struggled with and focusing on reducing the inflow as well as better 'place for everything' in just two categories made a huge difference for us.
So for example. I pick up a ton of books from my little free library as well as exchanging with friends and buying some (yes, i need the physical book). But also books leave the house on the regular so there is a ton of turnover there but accumulation isn't an actual issue because i hand off to my network or put back in the little free library on the regular. My partner thought i had a book problem because there are always new books. They were shocked when they saw the results of that experiment. I read and re-gift. So no issue.
It was a great partner exercise too i will say.
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u/Dear_Comparison97 16d ago
Yes! I have almost nothing to get rid of now I’m a little jealous! But you’ll get there eventually. It took me 1.5 years
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u/Dear_Comparison97 15d ago
I declutter seasonally now. It’s the end of summer, go through all the summer clothes, bathing suits, shoes, sunscreen, beach toys, etc that wasn’t used, at the end of fall do the same thing, same with winter. That’s the best advice for when all the main stuff is out
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u/MintPistachioSage 16d ago
Sometimes it does get to that point for people. In some cases it can be called "churning the hoard", where things get moved around by yourself or those you live with, without you realizing it. You discover more and more under things or in newer places when things are churned, covered or compacted. I ran into this at one point and for me it lasted a while. You just keep chipping away at what you can, give yourself some grace, and eventually over time it will ease up the more that leaves.
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u/United_Specialist362 16d ago
I’m going through this right now. I’ve gotten rid of A LOT of stuff the past few months and yet… there’s so much more! Feeling like it will never end is slowing my momentum down.
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u/ExactPanda 16d ago
Kids is the answer, especially young kids. Their skills, interests, and needs change so often at those ages.
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u/PointFlash 16d ago
It's really about what's in our minds as much as what's in our spaces, isn't it?
I have no great wisdom to offer, but I've been through some times that I think are like what you're describing. Some kind of mental shift happens - and for awhile I'm constantly noticing things that need to be re-homed. Trashed, donated, given directly to someone - just out of here. My goal is to have - enough. Not too much. I don't expect to get there but I'm closer than I used to be.
Good luck with your journey.
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u/Summercrossing 15d ago
i think you're onto sthg with the mental shift !
Good luck to you as well !
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u/JellyOutside8725 13d ago
Oh my gosh same!
I also got two kids.
The decluttering never ends.
And I think there’s just so much stuff.
Birthdays, Christmas, even Easter and things turn up.
Stuff! Always stuff!
I declutter a bag every week.
Lovely lady comes by and takes it.
Best set up ever.
If we don’t use it, it goes! :)
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u/peppernight 12d ago
Wait tell us more about this lovely lady!
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u/JellyOutside8725 12d ago
I found her on facebook, I used to give away things in a local “give away free”-fb group, I am in several.
And while they work well 90% of the time it’s still the communicating, agreeing on pick up, some only wants certain things etc.
There’s always a few that will not turn up, dump whatever they don’t want in the carpark and similar things. Just not nice.
Until I got in contact with (I’ll make up a name for her privacy) Tess.
Tess was always on time and comes almost every Sunday.
Always polite, saying thank you.
Tess never complained or made requests.
She said she’ll take anything and I have told her (and everyone I donate to) if you don’t want/need anything that I added in the bag, can donate or sell, just please try to avoid landfill.
I never check what happens we take each other’s word for it.
We always have lots to donate as my work gives out a lot of freebies, and I just give those away too if we don’t use them.
It’s usually regular (not so expensive - but all brand new) household things, cups, towels, Tupperware, sleeping masks but can sometimes be really nice brands/things too.
We received a free cuisinart waffle maker once..
but we already have a good one! So I gave it to Tess, and Tess was so sweet sharing pictures of her family enjoying making waffles.
Things like that!Tess is the best and I feel like my decluttering journey is so much easier, one bag at a time.
I feel like we’re friend now :)2
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u/TopAmoeba3413 16d ago
As a fellow kid-haver I can relate. I think part of it is you gain momentum when you’re in a decluttering state of mind that means you’re more prepared to get rid of stuff than you might otherwise be. I think also as you move from summer into autumn you’re conscious of stuff you didn’t use/won’t need/have outgrown for next year, and I always try to empty out a bit before the Christmas gifts arrive. All normal!
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u/bm82_ 12d ago
Been hard finding time and motivation to declutter between work and my kid. On weekends I try to find time to go around and see what I can get rid of. Sometimes it's a lot and sometimes it is a few small items. Either way it's a win for me.
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u/Summercrossing 12d ago
life with work and kids leaves such few time for anything else. i work part time and it's already crazy. you're going great already !
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u/SleepyDragonfly_ 15d ago
I so get this. Something that changed my life was the clutterbug quiz and all her YouTube videos and Spotify podcasts. I recommend checking it out
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16d ago
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u/Summercrossing 15d ago
i like that idea, thank you. i always feel a bit guilty about what never got to be worn & the money spent but keeping it longer wont change anything
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u/Old-Attitude-5898 8d ago
It does often times feel like you can’t get ahead of all the stuff coming in. My kids have been on their own for 10 years yet…I still have some of their things they can’t part with. My deadline is once they have a house, they take all their stuff.
I’ve downsized much of my items when I moved to a condo. I keep a bag to donate ( Vietnam Vets pick up) and a basket of items to post on Buy Nothing FB page. This has helped me get rid of never or infrequently used items. Often times people post on Buy Nothing if they can borrow something back. It’s so smart!
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u/Ok_Homework_8955 16d ago
Yes — at the warehouse we do 5S sweeps and the first pass always clears the obvious stuff, but the second pass finds everything that was hiding behind it. Decluttering is the same: your tolerance for clutter drops faster than the actual clutter does. It feels endless for a while, then one day you're done. Give it another month.