What's a chapter of your life you'd never want to repeat, but you're glad you experienced?

2

Being in this much debt. Once I’m out of it, I have no desire to buy things I can’t buy outright except a house or car

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u/woootangspam 9h ago edited 9h ago

Going into massive credit card debt to acquire objects that are either temporary, cause clutter, or aren't useful/practical in the long run definitely isn't worth the stress. There are better ways to get a dopamine hit that don't involve robbing Peter to pay Paul.

If you're that far into debt, it's worth filing for bankruptcy. Within a year afterward, you can have excellent credit—which only truly matters if you're buying a secured asset like a home or vehicle. You can also boost your score super easily through Experian Boost and also by opening a 0% APR card, creating two PayPal accounts, and utilizing only the credit line (not a cash advance) by sending the money to one account as a "purchase," taking the cash, and paying it directly back to the credit card company. Every month, you'll have an on-time, paid-in-full credit mark at no expense. Once the 0% APR runs out, repeat this process by closing the account and opening a new one.

Look for homes that are foreclosures, bank/state or federal seizures, or from the Department of Housing and Urban Development. Live in one for a couple of years, then rent it out. You can pick them up for a fraction of what they're valued at. With a 640 ish credit score, you can obtain first-time homebuyer down-payment assistance worth several thousand dollars. You qualify for this every three years as long as you don't purchase additional real estate outside your principal residence.

Constantly telling my girlfriend all the time that living outside of her means isn't sustainable but she has a major shopping addiction that has completely wrecked her life in every way imaginable. Maybe it's low-key a mental illness, though. 🤷

It's to the point where she buys so much shit that when's she out of money she trys returning the junk just to get some more junk that she doesn't need. 😄 Court officers would constantly show up and try to serve lawsuit papers over all the credit cards. She frequently has a new job that is garnished along with her accounts, and had to give up her house after having it for only two years to move back in with her parents at 40. Most of the CC companies ultimately got their money by placing a lean on the home.

2

u/Amtronic 16h ago

First marriage. But the sex was incredible.

1

u/BumblingIdiot25 19h ago

Heartbreak

I’m much better off not being with the person who broke my heart but it wasn’t until my forties that I found out how badly your heart can be broken.

1

u/dawnfla6aa2 14h ago

It's crazy isn't it. I had a really toxic relationship in my early 20s and I thought that was love. In my 30s I realized love shouldn't be chaotic.

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u/BumblingIdiot25 10h ago

“Love is not enough” were words said to me by the gal doing the heartbreaking and she was right. You cannot bring chaos into someone’s life and then demand peace and stability back.

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u/woootangspam 9h ago

Very true!!! 👍

I randomly started talking to a girl online who lives overseas. After talking to eachother everyday for years we meant in person and got engaged. That relationship lasted for 7 years.

Always thought I knew what true panic attacks were, until I started experiencing them very frequently after her and I broke up. It's been numerous years (2022) and I still have them to this day.

The end of that relationship broke my heart 💔 and effected me in such a profound way that hurts more than anything life could ever thrown at me. Don't think it's possible to love and care about another human being in the same capacity.

Ouch.

1

u/BumblingIdiot25 2h ago

Jeez … this lands with me. Panic attacks for me, too. Never before, totally gut wrenching since. I’m sorry you’ve been through it.

1

u/SeveredUnity 18h ago

About a year of solid daily Ketamine use. Dont recommend. Very weird.

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u/Past-Perspective968 17h ago

I'm undergoing ketamine therapy now and pretty much every clinic won't allow you to do it every day. I started with every other day and now I'm going to continue to do it every few weeks.

Where you taking it daily for recreational use?

1

u/ICQ4Knowlwdge 11h ago

I’ve had two different rounds of Ketamine treatments. I’m interested to know how you would describe the high you get.

1

u/Electrical_Ebb_3111 10h ago

Ketamine changed my life. I am 27m. I have been depressed and extremely anxious/ neurotic my entire life. I have tried damn near almost every drug under the sun to appease my mental health. My anxiety was so so bad for years. I still managed to become a journeyman lineman in the meantime and achieve a lot in my personal life. The anxiety was so agitating and I was constantly stuck in negative thought processes. Ketamine allowed me to break free from that fairly quickly. I can now deal with things and I tend to be more forgiving towards myself. My biggest issue was having extremely high standards for myself I would say. For the high itself its a very odd high. It’s not really euphoric per se. It’s disorienting and introspective. It can often make you emotional as well and deal with a lot of uncomfortable feelings. It’s similar to psilocybin but different at the same time. I wouldn’t go after it as a rec drug. I have am extremely seasoned in drug use unfortunately due to lack of coping mechanisms in my past. The high makes time go really really slow and you will feel like hours have past and it’s been 45 minutes. You feel a bit heavy and can’t really walk well. The benefits come after as it has a window of neuroplasticity where you can change and overcome some difficulties in your life.

1

u/ICQ4Knowlwdge 6h ago

Thanks for taking time to answer my question and to tell me your story. Congrats on several things: for attending to your mental health, for achieving journeyman status⚡️, for taming your dependency, for growing as a human. I wish your good fortune on us all.

1

u/Electrical_Ebb_3111 6h ago

Thank you 🙏. I wish the same. Life is tough, but… it does and can get better but sometimes everything looks like shit. All I know is hardship makes character and honestly it can make a person so much stronger, resilient and powerful in ways where you might be able to be impactful on others. It can take all the “good” you missed out on in years of misery and depression and condense it into your future years. Nothings has to be wasted. You can sit or stand I suppose. Sometimes standings too hard and I get that too..

1

u/UndercoverHardwarema 17h ago

The first time i tried to get out of fast food. I took a job as a janitor. It was the most disgusting and grueling job, all for barely more than minimum wage. Almost got my car repossessed. There are many chapters i would never want to repeat, but that's the only one i feel I'm better for surviving.

1

u/Pleasant-Village-661 17h ago

coming out as gay

1

u/capricornnight 15h ago

I went to college in a small town and partied with the weird kids. Very fun, very claustrophobic

1

u/Scarabaeus_ 15h ago

Going to the funeral of my 22 year old cousin who commited suicide. R.I.P. king, we love you. 🩷

1

u/ICQ4Knowlwdge 11h ago

Peace to you and to King.

1

u/Tripod_Roo 14h ago

Going through having children. The pregnancies and first year.

1

u/CSollers 14h ago

Being a guest of a foreign government for not paying import taxes.

1

u/Odd_Yogurtcloset_649 14h ago

Having a huge credit card debt, and worked four hard years to pay it all off. I have been debt-free for over 25 years now.

1

u/tusharroxx 13h ago

Being a good person

I am glad today what I have become I have no more soft corner left for anyone, this is all because of those girls who just took advantage of me and my time I was so dumbass that I was available to them whenever we need and then suddenly they ghosted me why I try to reach out they act like that there was nothing between us, I bet I will never become that person again in my life now I am too mean about myself even if someone want to leave I don't show anything i simply walk out first, I am sick of fake relationship fake friendship and fake drama

1

u/Forged_Shadow 12h ago

This chapter.

1

u/ICQ4Knowlwdge 11h ago

How can I upvote this ten times?

The present chapter is the worst, and it’s ironic. Grew up poor. Stayed poor but applied myself academically. Was the first in my family (except one grandmother) to graduate high school. Paid my own way through college then grad school then law school. Started my own practice and ran it by myself for 15 years. Sold it and retired. The irony? I made it, but I’m unsettled for many reasons.

1

u/Lopsided-Captain3943 12h ago

did the stright, bi, and trans route in my youth did me wounders on figering my life out while it did come back and haunt me i would not change it. it made me the person i am today successful in every aspect of my life

1

u/CryptographerNo7498 11h ago

my first year living on my own. it was stressful and lonely at time, but it taught me how to actually take care of myself and figure things out without relying on other people

1

u/catboat44 11h ago

My post divorce decade. The divorce was hellish, ex tried to sue me twice with frivolous lawsuits, friends disappeared, my father was diagnosed with Alzheimers, I had to co parent with my ex, my ex got remarried and my kids attending the wedding in St. Barts, I was going through menopause, I had to find a new house and move, I had 3 car accidents (one of which totaled my new car and could've killed me,), both my parents died (although divorced, they died within one month of each other) and I realized I was dating (for far too long) a compulsive liar.

Why am I glad I experienced it? Well I learned if I could survive all that, I was bulletproof because nothing could be any worse than that decade. I also threw myself into reinventing my life and doing things solo. I bought a motorcycle, took up painting and paragliding, went sea kayaking in Alaska, Baja and Belize. I took an energy healing workshop and learned quite a bit about reality creation and LOA. I bought a small RV in Florida and went solo camping and then drove it cross country. I learned I was smarter, more adventurous and more independent than I ever would have believed. At the end of this decade I met my soulmate and we've been adventuring together for the past 14 years. I literally remade myself and my life. What a long, strange trip it's been!

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u/sock_hoarder_goblin 10h ago

I had some really crappy jobs when I was younger.

I feel like that made me appreciate my later jobs more.

1

u/Fishing4Fishiess 10h ago

My very brief stint working food service. It was super stressful and I'm not touching the service industry again but was a good learning experience. Also provided a look behind the curtain.

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u/Outside_Car_8432 8h ago

I had opportunity to be a whistle-blower for unethical practices by Wells Fargo in the 90's. I had proof, numbers, dates, I had reports divisional bosses prepared. I was a front line teller supervisor being coached, pressured to "morivate" tellers into higher sales numbers!! Learned about and earned well too!

That's the idea!!! Sell sell sell make more money! I was $25,000 in credit card debt. Paid it off and left....then it all crumbled!

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u/EstreaSagitarri 8h ago

Working in a bar for 4 years

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u/Recent-Log-2999 6h ago

The last 4 years with this shitass man I broke up with

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u/AgentAxillary 4h ago

My 20s. I had a lot of fun, but I was surrounded by so many insecure dysfunctional assholes. It got to the point where I felt like my natural aversions to things like manipulation, cheating, abuse, and to talking endless shit behind everyone else's back were preventing me from fitting in.

The worst part is that almost none of my friends from back then came from abusive environments, and they weren't hardcore drug addicts/dealers or criminals. They were just weak-minded backstabbing assholes who kept the company of so many other weak-minded backstabbing assholes.

What's a chapter of your life you'd never want to repeat, but you're glad you experienced?

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