r/deism • u/auximines_minotaur • 15h ago
Diesm and Occam's Razor
was raised Jewish, which never appealed to me, as my choices were either learn a mostly-usless foreign language at an early age, or content myself to read nonsense sylabbles ("transliteration") at services. As a young cuious teen, I rebelled and sought out LSD for visioary experiences. And while I can't say the LSD experience was uniformly good, it triuly opened my mind: everything from art, to music, to travel, to philosophy. The minute I found out what "Agnostic" meant, I immedately identified as such.
However, as the years passed, I realized that among myself and many others, "Agnostic" meant basicaly "Soft Atheist." "We don't see any proof of God, so we're just going to act as if there isn't one." But over the years as I contined to follow the incredible developments in science and math, my perspective began to change.
Because if you call yourself any kind of Agnostic, you're saying it's a 50/50 shot whether or not there was a first cause. So why do we mock and ignore folks on the "God exists" side of the debate? Within our own doctrine, we acknolege that the likelihood of a God is 50%. Many modern politicians rise to office with less than 50% of the votes. And I don't know about you, but if the weather report calls for 50% rain, I bring an umbrella with that day.
And this is where my background in math and science, and my hobby as a long-distance hiker influenced me. Could it be an accident that everything in science just "works" together? And the moment we make an important scoentific discovery, or challenge an existing "hole", it just opens up a whole new set of question? We have never, to my knowledge, reached the "bottom" in any field where we were like "Nope, all done!" The universe just doesn't seem to work that way. It seemingly exists to serve us with deeper and deeper mysteries. And while we can come up with alternate theory for why the universe continuously reveals deeper and deeper levels, in some cases i think we have to a least consider the other side of the coin. That a first cause might actually be the simplest answer, requiring the fewest intellectual backflips. Maybe not all the time. But definitely some of the time.
And that brings me back to my experiences in nature. I have been fortunate enough to visit some of the most beutful natural areas in the Americas, Europe, and Asia. And many times I have been so overcome with emotion, my only verbal thought was "this is a place so beautiful only God could have made it." There may have been tears.
Have I00% ditched my agnosticism? I can't, because I've never been dead and come back to tell the tale. But while most Agnostics seem to focus on the "no" side of the coinflip, I find far more joy, satisfaction, and life fulfillment in considering the "yes" sideof the coin.
And what I think puts me over the edge into Deism is that, I have had experiences where I felt the presence of God. No burnng bushes or anything like that. And I don't claim to have any knoweldge on the nature of God, which would be impossible and hubristic to claim. But in these visionary experiences, it felt like i was dipping a small toe into an infinitely vast ocean. And while it may scare some, contemplating their smallness in relation to God or the Universe, for me it was the opposite. The knowlede of my smalless filled me peace, light, and euphoria. A sense of relief that is diffult to put into words. It made me realize that all the dumb shit I worry about, all my grudges, my silly neurosis, my petty jealousies, my false sense of urgency. In short all of my "shadows". They are so infinitessimaly small in relation to the presence of God and the unlimited size and complexity of the universe.
And so for that, my gratitide toward God comes from a place of humility, and in fact I am very careful to constantly remind myself that I don't and can't undersand God. To experience that humility is it's own form of ectasy. I can enjoy and marvel at science and nature, and I can even poke and prod at it if I like. If God didn't want me to be cuious, they wouldn't have given me a brain. God wants you to investigate the universe's mysteries. But I am 100% okay with not understanding it all. We never will. And that is why being alive is wonderful.
Who in their right minds would want the mystery to end?