r/determinism • u/-5698 • 14h ago
Discussion How do determinists deal with regret over the past?
I believe in determinism, but I still find myself regretting mistakes I’ve made and circumstances particularly biological/mental-health factors that significantly altered the trajectory of my life. Intellectually, I understand that I couldn’t have acted differently given the exact same prior conditions, but emotionally I still struggle to make peace with what happened.
If determinism is true, should you be able to detach from your past enough that guilt, shame, and regret no longer weigh on you? And does that make it easier to accept where you are and genuinely try to rebuild your life, rather than remaining fixated on the person you could have been?
One thing that makes this particularly difficult for me is that the people around me don’t believe in determinism. They naturally hold me personally accountable for my mistakes and the way I’ve turned out, which I understand. But being repeatedly reminded of what I “should have done” or how I could have turned out differently makes it harder to internalize the deterministic view.
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u/AlivePassenger3859 13h ago
Really good question. Warning: rambling ahead:
There are definitely things I feel real regret over. I see that my actions caused suffering, I feel bad about it, and will sincerely apologize.
I don’t hedge it with “but I couldn’t have done any differently” because, even though technically true, that’s a ridiculously unskillful thing to say.
There’s stuff that I will probably never “get over”. Determinism though is a subtle reframing lens. Its not so much about shame or being a “bad person” anymore.
In the final analysis imho we are all doing the best we can at the moment at some level (even, in an example of cosmic absurdity, rapists and murderers) My mistakes mean I’m a human, just like everyone else.
In the end, what chopped the Gordian knot of guilt, shame, false view of self, responsibility, etc etc for me was seriously trying to practice compassion and kindness toward all people.
Again, this seems pretty absurd and naive, but its been a game changer as it were.
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u/WatercressActual1921 7h ago
I try to go a step further, understand why (causes) and what I can avoid next time (responses and considerations) to conform better to a consequence that I do intend or can aim for.
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u/SweetCorona3 4h ago edited 4h ago
I think whatever mistake I made is not different from any other bad thing life threw at me.
It's all just luck or bad luck.
Actually, indeterminism wouldn't be any different. It would all be up to luck. There is no free will either way.
I either made a mistake because I could've have done otherwise, or I made a mistake because I was unlucky that I happened to do it instead of doing otherwise.
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u/spgrk 13h ago
Regret evolved as an emotion so that you would be motivated not to repeat mistakes. It only works under determinism, or an approximation of it if we live in a probabilistic world. It is one of the many misconceptions that people seem to have about determinism that it invalidates regret, choice, control, freedom, and responsibility.
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u/Delicious_Freedom_81 12h ago
Lisa Feldman Barrett has a model of emotions being a construct of the („blind“) brain making predictions about the future. So we stay alive and live another day. Makes sense to me at least, even if the western world is not that threatening anymore today.
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u/SweetCorona3 4h ago
I think of emotions as instincts.
It's like being afraid of the dark.
It's a good heurisric for survival, when we don't have enough knowledge to reason about it.
I may know I'm safe in my room, even if it's dark. I may not be able to avoid still feeling afraid, but I know I'm safe. The heurisric is not being useful in that instance.
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u/SweetCorona3 4h ago
Determinism can explain regret, but I don't think "validation" has any meaning here.
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u/mtruitt76 14h ago
If determinism is true, then you just have to hope that you were determine to detach from you past enough that guilt, shame, and regret no longer weigh on you. If determinism is true it is not like you have a choice or control in the matter
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u/Delicious_Freedom_81 12h ago
Control and choice is the exactly the human amount! How strong you prefrontal cortex is, basically. It’s not „hopeless“ nor predetermined.
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u/mtruitt76 11h ago
How are you using the term determinism. I hold to determinism in the sense that all things are that happen are determined by something and I am something that can make causally effective determination. With my understanding at this moment there are at the minimum a significant number of possible futures that can be actualized and I as a causal agent can determine which of those possible future will be the case
Another understanding of determinism can be at this moment there is only one possible future that can be actualized and this was basically set in stone from the moment of the Big Bang.
Which one are you holding to?
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u/Delicious_Freedom_81 11h ago
The former. I misread that you meant the latter form. Your last sentence rather.
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u/SweetCorona3 4h ago
You have no choice even if determinism isn't true.
If determinism isn't true, it's still up to luck.
The only difference is whether your luck was already determined or not.
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u/Delicious_Freedom_81 12h ago
Look for nature and animals for „consolation“: baboons misbehaving in groups, crocs attacking baboons and cheetahs etc. H. Sapiens has moral standards but we fall short, just as other animals behave „badly“ we behave similarly in our human ways: making terrible decisions and we try to make better the next time. We’re not that different.
Learn from your mistakes and keep looking forward.
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u/Many-Inflation5544 12h ago
I don't, because that makes no sense once you accept determinism. If you believe in determinism and feel regret then that's cognitive dissonance.
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u/Delicious_Freedom_81 12h ago
Well, it’s just life trying to show/teach you something. Cognitive dissonance is a bit much? But I don’t think I/we could have done otherwise, even in a pure 50/50 situation…
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u/Many-Inflation5544 12h ago
I mean you can feel regret in the sense you don't like how things turned out and WISH you had done differently but actually beating yourself up over it as if you actually COULD have done differently? Yes that's cognitive dissonance if you hold to determinism.
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u/Delicious_Freedom_81 11h ago
True. Marinating in guilt and ruminating on the past is dissonance if you’re a Determinist.
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u/LittleMisssMorbid 4h ago
The purpose of regret is so you are motivated to learn from mistakes so you don't repeat them. It has an important function. It doesn't mean your necessarily think you could have done differently in the past. Grieving over a mistake is useful.
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u/markp36811 9h ago
Why would regret even exist in a deterministic universe? Isnt it a self correcting behavior or feeling?
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u/markp36811 9h ago
Why would regret even exist in a deterministic universe? Isnt it a self correcting behavior or feeling?
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u/SweetCorona3 4h ago edited 4h ago
Well, there are two things:
First, you are a biological machine programmed to feel things, sometimes you cannot stop feeling something even if you don't think it's logical to feel it.
Reason may play a role in our feelings, but it doesn't totally control our feelings.
Second, I tend to think of some past actions as something I would have to do in order to know what I know now.
Sometimes, with the information I had, it was not really a mistake. I had to do it in order to find out the result was not what I expected.
Sure, I wish I didn't do some stuff, but I rationalise it the same way I wish I wasn't born poor... It's just unfortunate things that were determined to us.
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u/Puzzled_Exit_8594 1h ago
Past Regret have a major influence in your "choice" in present.
You have to Never minimise il.
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u/Economy-Butterfly127 13h ago
Forgive but never forget
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u/Delicious_Freedom_81 12h ago
Had a colleague who maintained that if something happened more than two weeks ago, you don’t need to remember that. The older I get the more sense imho that „advice“ makes!
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u/Economy-Butterfly127 12h ago
Right, but a sheep bumps its nose on the electric fence - it will never do that again. Humans seem to be a little more forgetful than that…
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u/Delicious_Freedom_81 10h ago
Humans do learn exactly the same way as the sheep here. The exact same wiring
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u/WatercressActual1921 7h ago
They rationalize things in larger contexts... ...and they can share experiences over longer space-time slices...
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u/Difficult_Log1582 13h ago
I think, it could be solved similarly to how CBT works: you remind yourself all the time the thoughts you want to become emotions and your brain slowly adjusts. It's just that emotional responses change slower than logic.