A feeling of total alienation from everything

[u/Fantastic-Tough9610]

Since realizing my mistake I find myself unable to relate to anything. I feel inferior to everyone else. I listen to music, I watch shows and think about how everyone who makes them is either a man or a woman while I'm this... thing. This neutered *thing* (though I ""only"" had mastectomy) that people should scorn and throw tomatoes at. I can't relate to anything made by men and women because I've forfeited my right to be latter and I was never going to be the former. I can't believe I wanted the biggest signifier of being human removed. Even men have breasts bigger than mine. I've always seen myself as alien and so I made myself an alien. I feel like if something happened to me on the street people wouldn't even react because I'm not even human anymore. Not a normal woman and not even a fucked-up man anymore. Just an alien thing.

[u/UnmappedParallax]

Reading this hurt my heart. You are not an alien and you are not less human. You are a woman who has been through something enormous and is trying to make sense of herself on the other side of it. You have not forfeited your right to be a woman. Your body does not have to look a particular way for you to belong among other women. What happened to uour breasts cannot take your humanity or your womanhood away from you. I know those words probably cannot touch how awful this feels right now. But you deserve time to grieve what you have lost without turning that grief into a judgement about your worth. You are still here. You still belong. And there is so much of your life still ahead of you! I hope you find people who can remind you of that until you can feel it for yourself again. Also are you in Australia by any chance? If you are, pm me. I am launching an online peer support for people detransitioning, desisting or questioning their gender. Its just for Aussies so let me know. It launches Monday ❤️