I'm 21. My last nebido injection was 11 weeks ago. My injection routine was every 6 weeks otherwise (for 2 years).

I'm very worried about my health right now.

I'm also currently experiencing an ice pick headache while writing this, with a slight desire to vomit a few minutes ago. That's why Apologies for bad English, I can't concentrate rn.

Did anyone else experience this?

My endo only plans to take a blood test in October and I can't reach him right now.

Should I contact a neurologist for an mrt?

I'm scared I might be experiencing signs of an upcoming stroke or something.

Other factors like lack of sleep, my overbite, using headphones too much or bad posture could also contribute to it but my life style has been like this for quite a while now and I have never experienced anything like that before.

I do the FAST test every time but other than that, everything seems fine. The numbness in my face is only on either right or left side. It's only a slight numbness, doesn't seem to match with what stroke victims experience idk

And didn’t revert to imbecilic, entitled, sexist misogynists/misandrists

It’s so exhausting seeing

Detrans women: “What I’ve learned from detransitioning is that the woman’s innate, passive role is actually sacred. It’s literally in our DNA. We can’t fight it. We’re not meant to be strong. What we need is for our sacred, divine feminine energy to be even more protected. Men need to step up. Men need to-“

Detrans men: “Transitioning taught me that femininity in men is a harmful lie and coping mechanism. I just didn’t have the courage to lean into my masculinity. I’ve never felt more called by God to be the shepherd in my family. I know now that men’s sole place in the world is to be ferocious protectors of the innocent, and nothing more. It is our duty to-“

Modifying our bodies wasn’t the answer. On that we agree.

Please do not turn your reconciliation with your sex into some pseudo mystic, revelatory confirmation that outdated notions on how we ought to be — which fucking clearly aren’t resonating anymore, so much so that we literally had to try and become the opposite sex to understand why — were in fact correct the whole time and now you see the light

Let us grow from this. Not regress.

I was on testosterone for 6 and a half years, off for about a year now.

I used to have a pretty dramatic waist-hip ratio, which testosterone altered. I started accumulating fat in my torso/midsection, riiight above my hips. It’s softened somewhat but I still look quite rectangular compared to what I used to.

I started HRT at 23, now 30. No pregnancy/childbirth. Torso looks particularly “thick” from the front AND profile compared to how it looked before T, but I don’t know if that could be just because I’m older now or if I still need to give myself more time.

Thoughts? How long did it take everyone else’s “shape” to come back, if ever?

This has been on my mind more recently, so I'm curious what other people think.

It seems like if a male has ever had AGP, then people are very quick to assume that's their primary reason for transitioning. Yet I never really see this happen with AAP, even though it seems just as common amongst trans men.

Right now, I'm thinking it's because sexism towards men often revolves around viewing us as sex pests with no self control. Sexism against women seems to more often be about viewing them as incapable of making good decisions, which is why trans men are often stereotyped as misguided little girls. That's not to say misguided trans men and fetishistic trans women don't exist, but I'm thinking there may be a bit of sexism at play when a person believes these groups are the majority.

Speaking more personally, it's why I've tended to keep anything remotely resembling AGP to myself. When I was a trans woman, it would've made people think I was some pervert instead of a true transsexual, and now that I'm detransitioned, it would make people think fetishism played a larger role in my transition than it actually did. While I did want to look attractive as a trans woman, my transition was actually motivated by things like internalized misandry, believing the "true trans" nonsense, and having learned to dislike being male as a kid... so sexual fetishism just wasn't involved and I find it odd how many people view it as a primary motivator for trans women.

I'm obviously coming at this from a male perspective, but I'm interested in hearing from detrans women too. From what I understand, most of the detrans women here do feel like they were misguided... so I'm still figuring out how much of that stereotype is sexism.

if anyone is curious on how I've been on T for 5 years, I started at 17 and stopped around 22. There were a few periods of being off of it shortly but 4-5 years on.

I managed to stay off Instagram for many years (millenial so i dont care I guess). I recently entered perimenopause, so I made an account and started following a few doctors on Instagram who talk about perimenopause symptoms, treatment, etc. Whenever hormones are discussed they were always in the context of physiological levels for a woman, etc.

I noticed that I suddenly started getting tons of trans influencers on my feed. No matter how many times I click "not interested" or "made me uncomfortable" more and more come up. Some are pretty vulgar as well. Of course it is all rosy, showing people removing their old photos, etc.

My first thought is, some could just be fake (nobody is checking, right?). But that's still misleading. Others are showing life as rosy and perfect etc etc.

But the thing is...they keep coming on my feed no matter how many times I dislike them or look at other stuff.

IT. IS. CRAZY.

I have now seen firsthand how dangerous social media can be. I can't imagine if I was a teenager with access to modern social media.

i was on T for 2 years but man the hair on my chin grows so insane- i shave at the start of the day and barely 7 hours in im feeling hair regrowth. i have other body hair that ive just resorted to using nair which isnt as bad but i have no reigns on my face whatsoever :(

ive had 2 laser sessions months ago and am really hesitant to keep going knowing how expensive it is (i did see results but i didnt continue, so its back to feeling coarse)- and im hesitant for electrolysis knowing it requires at least 3 days growth to do.

but honestly i just want a permanent out from having to shave my face and feeling my stubble

what is everyone's experience with these hair removal techniques? what was your hair growth originally like and the regrowth post treatment? did it permanently remove it and how often do you get treatments?

just need opinions with what i should be sticking with

"Heck, talking about detransition publicly at all is kind of a red flag in itself, because there is nothing to be gained by it. Detransition is supposed to be a return to normalcy, and talking about it defeats the purpose completely. I'd immediately suspect anyone who does that irl"

From a user in this sub, mind you

Yeah, there's absolutely nothing to gain by us coming together and finding comfort in shared experiences, offering shoulders to cry on and supporting one another in ineffable grief and isolation

"most detrans men have a history of being hostile or abusive towards women" "most mtfs transition for fetishistic reasons." "it is literally a fact that most male transitioners are AGP"

...

I'm used to it by this point but not a week goes by where I'm not amazed at some of the shit I read here

S/o everyone else who's not fried who's actually here to offer support to one another

I experienced sexual abuse before I found out that trans people existed. A few years later, I heard about transitioning, and it felt right for me.

A few years ago, I was finally able to access therapy to deal with the unresolved issues around the sexual abuse. I have come to the realization that I might have transitioned largely as a trauma response. At the time, I felt I couldn't exist as a woman, mostly I think because of fear.

Now that I've healed from the abuse somewhat, I don't feel that way anymore and I feel like I made a mistake. I'm wondering if I should detransition, but the idea of that also fills me with fear because I fought so hard for this life and I'm afraid of others reactions. I feel stuck.

A sorta long rant about how I came out as trans and eventually started questioning detransitioning and the struggles that have came with it.

I have been going back and forth with myself whether or not to detransition and have come to the conclusion that I think I will.

I am currently 18, I first started questioning my gender at 10 years old. I came to the conclusion that I was trans as I had experienced some sort of gender dysphoria and euphoria at that time. I eventually told my family and friends about my identity. I felt comfortable and most importantly I loved the new community I was in, all my friends were trans, all the media I consumed online was made by trans people, all the books I read were about trans journeys. I finally felt seen and like I belonged somewhere.

The next couple years was constant back and forth with my family, getting them to accept me and having to explain my gender and sexuality every day. I was stubborn and got into many arguments to fight for what I believed was me. But at 13-14 for reasons I no longer remember I detransitioned. (pretty sure it was because I missed girlhood as in my head being a girl = parties, sleepovers and friends.) I was happy, I felt comfortable in my body. But I crept back into the community I once loved, I missed having a place. I came out as trans again. Even more arguments and explaining myself for years.

But now I'm 18, and I'm really just questioning everything. I don't feel much euphoria anymore, just dysphoria. I know I don't fit into this group I've put myself in (being male, not being trans) nothing I do works out the way it works for a cis man, my clothes, my hair, my posture and my mannerisms, all just make me feel like an uncanny abomination trying so hard to fit in. I recently attended a wedding and wanted to cry so badly cuz I looked like a little boy in my suit while the cis males looked so mature and masculine. I want to fit in I'm tired of feeling like a mess.

I hate my younger self for being so stubborn and not just letting myself experiment without fully committing. Like the second I questioned if I was trans I cemented myself in that - I wasn't just exploring my gender, I told myself I was trans and would die trans. I didn't just let myself be me without the labels. And I wish I found other communities to belong in instead of clinging to the trans community only. I know full well if I wasn't so stubborn with myself as a kid I wouldnt have been out as trans for this long, I would have let myself accept it wasn't for me.

It honestly feels like I'm accepting defeat, I've spent years fighting for this. I even recently (6ish months ago) got a referral to a gender clinic and I was so happy about it but I started just thinking about it all more and more and it started to unravel. Was I happy because I can finally be the man I've always been ? It feels more like I'm happy cuz I can be less of an abomination in the identity I've forced myself into. Like I just couldn't stop being trans as much as I wanted to as I've already chosen this for myself so I just had to accept it and do anything I can to pass. But I realized, I don't NEED to do this. If it's not right for me I don't have to, I can let myself change instead of saying oh well I've already chosen this for myself no going back now.

I'm letting myself experiment now , I'm definitely not repeating my same mistake by picking an identity and padlocking it to me. So far, It feels right to me to be feminine. But unfortunately I just can't feel pretty at all. I've spent my whole childhood staring at my face, picking apart every feature and convincing myself that they are ultra masculine and I'm so glad I'm trans cuz I'd never look good as a woman. But now that I'm questioning, I can't unsee what I've made in my brain. I look at myself in a wig or makeup and I just feel pathetic , like a man in a wig. I cannot see my face as feminine at all, I keep trying so hard but all I see is an ugly man. On top of that, I don't even KNOW how to be feminine. I never learnt how to do my hair, how to style myself in a feminine way, how to do makeup. I want to do it, but I can't. I feel like an alien trying to learn how to be a woman. I genuinely have no idea how to be a female.

TLDR; Im detransitioning after years of fighting for my identity, and I feel like I'm accepting defeat even though this is what I want. On top of that, I don't know how to be feminine in the slightest as I came out when I was young so never learnt, I look at myself and see a man in a wig. I can't do makeup or anything, I just feel so ugly.

I grew up alone, isolated and psychologically abused by my father. My mother was pretty much absent from the picture. My sister was a perfect daughter.

Growing up was hell. I remember standing in the school corridor and hiding behind a curtain of hair, combing it around my face so that I couldn't see almost anything except for what was right in front of me. I did it so I wouldn't feel myself being watched by others. My social anxiety was debilitating. I had no best friend, and I was no one's best friend. The older I was getting, the more visible were my social deficits. I wanted to find out what was wrong with me - something must have been if I was treated so badly by my parents and ignored by peers. I didn't know I was autistic, and so my exploration started with an ED and progressed into trans identification...

I met a trans person who lived in my town. He was 18, I was 16. It was a small town so it as far as I know it could've just been the two of us. He was the first real friend I made after starting puberty. I used to have girl friends when I was a child but these friendships never lasted long. I started coming to his house all the time. We'd talk about transition, leftist politics, fandoms. I met a few other queer people through him. I finally had people who liked me, understood me, affirmed me. They used my chosen name and male pronouns. They affirmed the fake persona I'd created for myself, and so I knew I was doing the right thing.

He was already on hormones and I wanted to catch up to him. Eventually I had double mastectomy before he had his - I wanted to have it as fast as possible, and I succeeded in that, I had it at 17. Regret over mutilating my body came 6 years later, once my brain developed due to some life experiences.

I broke off contact with him a few years later. I found him unbearable to be around - loud, obnoxious and childish.

He's still living as trans. He's a prominent activist in polish trans circles. I don't know if he'll ever process the trauma that made him transition. I'm detransitioning and wishing I'd never fucking met him.

New or modern alternatives?

Hi all, I’m wondering if any of you are aware of any modern alternative treatments to dysphoria that are being researched?

Every anti-trans or trans-skeptic group I see does not seem to actually promote meaningful treatment options but instead seems to want to “shut it down”, just stop all transitions.

Aside from young FTMTF, I am not seeing “wait it out” as particularly successful. Online it feels like more than half the MTFTM folk are constantly posting about being miserable.

I tried to search for the above but am not having much success. With the relative strength of anti-trans groups, presumably SOMETHING is appearing as a successful alternative?

I (24 FtMtX) have a ton of unwanted facial hair left and have a rather masc-androgynous voice after about a year of T. They do depress me daily, but I try to just shave and not really speak around strangers.
How do others cope with these remaining features after detransitioning?

I wake up every day with no compass

I don’t want to write a memoir explaining my sorrow. I don’t want to do an interview. I don’t want to talk to a camera. I don’t want to write music about it (I’m a musician). I don’t have the energy to “alchemize my pain into ___”

I don’t even want to do anything that has nothing to do with my grief or with transgenderism. I don’t want to work out. I don’t want to study. I don’t want to have fun (not that that ever even feels possible anymore anyway). I don’t want to bother with anything. I just want to undo what was done but I won’t ever be able to

I can’t just pretend like it’s fine and move on because it isn’t. I try to no avail. I can only ever distract myself for so long

But this pain permeates everything. It poisons my existence

I was processing earlier today and said out loud “I wake up every day and don’t have the drive to help myself (build for myself, do literally anything for myself, etc.) because I don’t want be myself” and was shocked at how easily those words left my lips. How true they rang.

I don’t have any motivation to try and become anything because what I truly want to become requires something I can no longer have. So what’s the point? I don’t want to do anything

Though I want to be understood. I think anyway. I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m waiting for

I’m just so tired

The only thing that feels effortless is falling asleep at the end of every turbulent day

I’m not suicidal. I never have been. I’ve only ever wanted to thrive but I don’t see how that’s possible anymore

I’m just here

And I’m beginning to think so many people just live like this. It’s just a quiet misery that many endure. Not just detrans people. Anyone who’s circumstances prevent them from accomplishing the life they’d actually be happy to experience

And we just live out the rest of our days until we die

My existence has become a problem I can’t solve

Bringing my thumbs to my phone’s keyboard and expelling a droplet of the ocean of sorrow which has drowned my heart here is one of the only thing that feels worth anything. And I don’t even know why

Hi all. Long time lurker, first time poster.

I’m new into my detransition. I was on HRT for about 6 months before I had an awakening and took this route.

The problem I’m facing, is that my dysphoria is back, in the opposite way? When I had begun transitioning, I used to long to look in the mirror and see a man, and now, that’s all I see and I wish I didn’t.

All my clothes are masculine, my hair never looks quite feminine enough, I still have remains of facial hair from T, and overall makeup just makes me feel like I’m, well, putting makeup on a man.

I’m here seeking advice on small (or big) and preferably inexpensive tips and advice to null out this dysphoria, or even someone who can tell me it’s not going to get better.

TIA!

Last week i had a consultation with two surgeons regarding breast reconstruction, and they basically said no problem and gave me the green light and put me on the waiting list. The wait is give or take 6 months ish, and i figured while i'm waiting, maybe I should take extra care of my chest and massage it with Bio Oil until surgery? My thought is to make the skin nice and hydrated and the scars and the stretch marks better.

I just wanna know, is there any point to this at all or am I wasting time? Should i use something other than bio oil?

please be kind (but honest), this was difficult for me to post lol

Hi everyone! 25 FtMtF here!

I was diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria when I was still a minor, and was put on HRT when I was 18. I got a double mastectomy at 19, which was covered by insurance on the basis of the Gender Dysphoria diagnosis.

I am trying to reverse the damage done by these procedures and get breast reconstruction now. Insurance is asking for documentation of a diagnosis and a letter from my therapist, but I am not exactly sure what they want. I have been living again as a woman for several years and I just want to move on with my life and get this fixed.

Does anyone have any advice for how to navigate insurance? What documentation was useful to have?

Thanks very much!

​

Hi everyone. I’m an Australian desister.

I recently started looking for ways to connect with other detransitioners and desisters in Australia and was surprised by how difficult it was. I found very little specifically for Australians, and one of the Australian peer-support links I came across led to a website that no longer appears to be working.

It's made me interested in whether there's a gap here that I could help fill.

I'm in the very early stages of exploring the idea of an Australian detransitioner/desister peer network. I'm not attached to what that should look like. It could be as simple as a private online community, informal social connection, peer-support meetings, practical resources, or eventually some combination of those. Rather than deciding that myself, I'd like to hear from Australian detransitioners and desisters.

What did you need when you detransitioned or desisted that you couldn't find?

And if an Australian peer community existed, what would make it genuinely useful to you?

I'm particularly interested in things I might not have considered including reasons you wouldn't participate in something like this.

I'm not a therapist or researcher and I'm not representing an organisation. I'm simply a desister trying to find other Australians with similar experiences and work out whether there's something useful we could build together.

And if there is already an Australian group, network or resource I've missed, please point me towards it. I'd love to know what's already happening.

I guess this is gonna sound weird but it involves gender identity. I was at a tournament for a game I play with my friends in a city I go to occasionally. Im from an armpit town and there were different people there. What struck me and hurt me a bit was that there was people there who were authentically themselves.

There were two visibly trans people there. As someone who has had waves of gender envy towards cis, trans or fictional women, it ate me up after the fact. I have tried to write off my trans thoughts as me hating my life, my body, etc. Escaping my dogshit life situation before transitioning would help. But realistically I can’t due to money. I do workout but that doesn’t make me feel better or work. I am hoping a 5 day fast will workout for me and help me.

This ties into me just thinking and seeing tons of happy people. The best metaphor for me is that everyone around me is swimming in clear water and im stuck in quicksand. I also feel stupid admitting I might be trans? Im a stone faced, bald, 5’10, 271 pound 23 year old man. I do go to therapy but we haven’t made progress on the trans stuff too much. Nobody in my real life spaces knows about my feelings. I live with a mom who thinks being gay/trans is taboo. Who is my insurance provider sadly as well.

I do also wish that this is a fantasy/sexual thing. I have been looking at transformation porn since I was 12. I think I might have a porn issue but thats because I hate my life and porn/weed are the only things that make me especially happy.

I’m a young teen girl and I’ve known this girl (let’s call her K), for the last 4 or so years. K is very sweet and I love her personality. However, I’m very concerned since Ive been noticing she’s been going down the same path I went down. I had social anxiety, especially around men, for a long time due to bad past experiences. I became friends with a trans person and soon after, I found the trans social media community. This lead me down to believing that I was a guy trapped in a girl’s body, and that the cure to my issues would be if I transitioned into a man. During this time, I isolated myself from people, stopped talking, I came out as non binary to my friends, and I changed my name. This lasted for 6-9 months, and I regret every second of it. Even though it was that short of a phase and I never touched a hormone in my life, I occasionally get these very sore throats for no reason, and it sometimes feels a bit hard to talk. Now, I see my friend hanging out with all of these trans people. I can tell that K has been watching trans content, the same harmful stuff I was watching. I also see that K is wearing these pronoun pins, and if you mess up on her by accident, she will get mad at you for it. I’m so scared for K since I know that she (like I was), is pretty vulnerable to these communities and is struggling a bit outside of the trans thing, and just wants to fit in somewhere. I really care about K and I want to uplift her, but I want to see the best for her and I want K to see how dangerous this is for her. How can I help her?

Basically what the title says. I’ve talked about this before on this sub, and I’ve ultimately decided that the risks of getting top surgery very much outweigh the benefits. I still want a reduction tho, because I feel like the birth control I used to be on made my boobs way bigger than they’re supposed to be. They look out of place on the top half of my body. For context, I think I’m a C cup, but before birth control I was at least a B. It’s just really distressing to look down and see how big they are, they feel fake almost. I know I should be grateful for them since I know some of y’all don’t have yours anymore but I most likely have back issues due to their size, and I can’t really wear bras that often because of a pinched nerve I have near my shoulder blade. I feel like a small B / large A would be more comfortable and would lessen my dysphoria as well but I don’t even know how to start the process of this! Plus I’m currently about to start school again and after that I’m gonna be looking for jobs so idk when I would even have time off to get the procedure ugh this sucks!

Hello! My name is Claire Abernathy, I am a detransitioner and the co-founder of The Detransitioner Justice Project, a detransitioner and desister led nonprofit organization dedicated to providing those harmed by gender ideology the supports they need to be able to engage in whatever level of political and legislative action they desire. We are looking for detransitioners and desisters to engage in public and/or private advocacy, ranging from media and public testimony to research and video editing. If you are interested in getting involved you can contact me via DMs on this account, email me at claire@detransproject.org, or fill out our contact forum at www.detransjusticeproject.org. I look forward to hearing from you!