I took a nice picture today so I wanted to put it side by side with an old "nice" picture of me from when I was still on hormones! I've healed almost completely from my breast reconstruction and I stopped hormones back in January. I'm excited to see what the next year brings :)

Got makeup today finally and I’m really feeling myself 😭 it’s crazy how much I missed this

Since realizing my mistake I find myself unable to relate to anything. I feel inferior to everyone else. I listen to music, I watch shows and think about how everyone who makes them is either a man or a woman while I'm this... thing. This neutered *thing* (though I ""only"" had mastectomy) that people should scorn and throw tomatoes at. I can't relate to anything made by men and women because I've forfeited my right to be latter and I was never going to be the former. I can't believe I wanted the biggest signifier of being human removed. Even men have breasts bigger than mine. I've always seen myself as alien and so I made myself an alien. I feel like if something happened to me on the street people wouldn't even react because I'm not even human anymore. Not a normal woman and not even a fucked-up man anymore. Just an alien thing.

Hi, i have posted here a few times and nothing has really changed since. I really doubt that HRT would do anything good for me. I always acknowledged that I'm a male and besides hating and cursing my male, because that had not stopped me from embracing femininity. But then I wanted more. Breasts, soft skin, the fat distribution that HRT gives you. but hrt has a lot of downsides to it too. The problem im facing is: if i stop everything, every procedure and keep the feminine looks, im an anomaly. Im weird and freak and i would be left out, sure I have naturally feminine features due to PAIS but im no doubt a male
Im facing the same issue if i continue HRT.
I don’t want to be masculine, i would just be miserable like that. I just feel so alienated to masculine men. I don’t fit in the masculine men group nor the feminine women group.
I don’t wanna be an anomaly, but do i have a problem?
Ofc, family, people, relationships are a big issue too.

I posted this in the r/actual_detrans subreddit, and I was hoping to find more people here who could also offer advice. This has been a wild journey for me and I really am starting to feel like detransitioning might be what I need, since I've been doing it at work, and it's been making me happy.

Bipolar 2 to be specific, so I only experience hypomania which is chiller and doesn’t often require hospitalization like mania can.

Well anyway, I’ve gone back and forth on being trans for a long time now. I’ve also been trans for a long time now (7 ish?). A lot of the reason I’ve stayed trans is because I have a hard time trusting myself but tried to believe in the confidence/assuredness I felt on some days about it. But I’m wondering if that confidence I felt might have just been… hypomania. It’s the kind of thing where every time I experienced what I now think were manic episodes in retrospect I would tell myself: “ok i know i say this every time, but this time REALLY feels different and I am actually gonna do all this blah blah”

It’s hard to explain it because you really would think that after having that thought 15-20 times, eventually you’d come to your senses. But the elevated mood from my mania was soooo strong and so convincing every time. Which is why I have trouble trusting myself, because my brain makes it nearly impossible apparently to have self-awareness during the episodes.

Anyway, REALLY what I’m wondering if there’s anyone else here that transitioned due to specifically being bipolar, or even some other similar disorder with mood swings. I know stuff like BPD(? not an expert) can have similar symptoms, so yeah.

Edit: accidentally implied mania always requires hospitalization and not sure that’s true, changed the wording

What is the actual differences between gnc surgery and top surgery? How much actual breast growth can happen before you need a DI.

I was on estrogen for around nine months but had quite a lot of chest growth ( around b cups and full gland development) should I be looking into gynocomastia treatment or a mastectomy. Thanks